[Closed] Rubbish books.

Bible...! 😉

Marley & Me.... (yawn)

Goes to show about some reviews really, I thought Marley and Me had received some cracking reviews .. guess I'll be staying away from that now! although now I've discovered the joys of the local library I don't always feel obliged to read a rubbish book through to it's conclusion in the hope that it'll have some awesomely good and dramatic twist, this is rarely the case!!!!!!

I have also heard its very good (girlfriend cried nearly everytime she picked it up) but I reached halfway and couldn't pick it up again as I felt no desire to find out how it ends...

The Ghorgomast trilogy (sp???). I found it really difficult to finish and struggled to enjoy it.

Chocolate by Joanne Harris - dreadful, trully, utterly, dribblingly dreadful.
Perfume by Patrik Suskind - almost as bad as Chocolate.

The Da Vinci Code.. he cannot write. IMO it's only because the books about a contraversial issue that it got readers at all. Based on purely standard of writing, avoid.

How United are going to win the Champions League 2009 by Mr A Ferguson 😉

Hellraisers - Robert Sellars

How can you make a bad book out of the lives of Peter O'Toole, Richard Burton, Richard Harris, Oli Reed? He does.

This book will save your life, AM Homes, awful LA drivel

Josie Dew cycle touring memoirs. Dull, dull, dull.

Joxster, if you mean Gormenghast, then I guess they're marmite books. One of my favourite reads! (Along with Perfume, also slated above.)

Millennium People by JG Ballard took some perseverance - I only stuck with it because it was on tape from the library and I needed something to get me through my commute. I've read loads of unmemorable books, but for some reason can't remember them...

A Short History of Tractors in Ukranian

utter, utter shite. Unfunny utter, utter shite at that too

High Fidelity, and pretty much anything else by Nick Hornby. Horrendous chick lit of the very worst order.

Seconded, anything at all by Dan Brown.

All his books are crap, really really really crap.

The Da Vinci Code is bab, absolute second rate pseudo-mystical bab.

Angels and Demons is even worse, and Digital Fortress is poo on a stick.

Why have I read them? I read A&D one desperately boring night at work, then read TDVC when it 'took the world by storm' just to see if it was as bad. It was.

I've read better cereal packets.

geetee1972 - Member
Chocolate by Joanne Harris - dreadful, trully, utterly, dribblingly dreadful.

Never read Chocolate, but Chocolat was excellent.

Would never read Dan Brown: too commonplace.

Carlos Castaneda is awful

Barack Obama biog is pretty heavy going.

Agree on Da vinci code etc,

I am currently trying to read a modern/classic each time I go on holiday and so far been mixed. Enjoyed Dorian Gray but The Catcher in the Rye was pretty dismal.

Keep on meaning to join the library rather than constantly browsing the bookshop.

Most stuff on prize lists. I read Tom Clancy's Red Rabbit and my God it was dull - almost nothing happened for 400 pages!

Absolutely loved "Perfume", fantastic book.
But hey ho...

No-one said everyone is the same and will enjoy the same books/bikes/holidays...etc,etc,

The Catcher in the Rye was pretty dismal.

You have a chance to retract that while there's time 😛

since they made it into a film I thought it might be quite good

The Time Traveller's Wife is odious. The Groomer more like. And the silly bugger never seems to remember to write down some lottery numbers...

Andy McNab & Chris Ryan's first Books were worth a read and after that, they lost the plot. Not read any since their 2nd offerings.

I'd argue with the earlier comment about the Bible (Old Testament) - it's a fascinating read.

Vive la difference and all that. Everyone is welcome to love any book they want to but it doesn't stop them being ultimately disregarded as unimportant.

The worst crime that Dan Brown was ever guilty of with The Da Vinci Code is plagiarism, as anyone who read Umberto Eco's intellectual tour de force 'Foucault Pendulum' will testify.

[i]since they made it into a film I thought it might be quite good [/i]

Oh dear.

Anything by Matthew Riley or Terry Pratchett.

Oh, and hats off to the fellah who mentioned Foucaults pendulum, an excellent book, definitely got to be the source for the Da vinci code.

finbar - Member

High Fidelity, and pretty much anything else by Nick Hornby. Horrendous chick lit of the very worst order.

Spot on!
I was quite offended by the one of the quotes saying that "High Fidelity was the insight into every guys mind" erm, no...

[i]I was quite offended by the one of the quotes saying that "High Fidelity was the insight into every guys mind" erm, no... [/i]

Surely you can only be offended by something that is directed at you in person.

Surely you can only be offended by something that is directed at you in person.

Are you saying that there is nothing out there that is not directed at you that doesn't offend you???

Sebastian Faulks - On Green Dolphin Street, zzzzz, Engleby was also pretty average, was expecting much more after 'The Girl at the Lion D'Or' which was awesome.

yet another recommendation to stay away from the Da Vinci code, what a pile of crap that was. I actually read it end to end because so many people said it was good I assumed I would catch up near the end. Nope, absolute pants. Badly written, stupid idea, rubbish.

I watched the film tonight. That was stupid too. And rubbish.

[i]And the silly bugger never seems to remember to write down some lottery numbers... [/i]

That's how they made their money in the Time travellers wife...

I also read The first Harry Potter book. Absolute dire trash. Glad it appealed to so many children but any adult reading those books should look in something called 'a library'. There are thousands of far better written books in there.

thought "perfume" was pretty good meself, Da Vici Code read it because the missus had read it and thought it was real(!) but easy enjoyable romp. Anything else if I think its rubbish I dont get beyond 20/30 pages. Why would you read a crap book when theres so many good'ns?

I borrowed a James Patterson "thriller" from a friend on holiday, as I'd read all my books. Read it on the plane in about 2 hours; utter, utter drivel. Written for people with reading ages of about 7. First book I've read that contained obviously paid for product placement too.

Never read a book with the author's name bigger than the title.

"Stranger in a strange land" by Heinlein. After a while of being interesting it starts to exhibit the somewhat rabid views of the author as opposed to the character.

"The name of the rose". Ye gods I was so [b]sick[/b] of the 'oh god we are not worthy' crap after 50 pages I just didn't want to even consider it any more.

Apart from that I'll read most stuff.

Digital Fortress is indeed pants

but you haven't read anything by Whitley Strieber yet... now that IS bad

Melmoth the Wanderer by Maturin is quite heavy going.

Life of Pi - Utter dross!

Fever Pitch was quite good even though I hate football (maybe it's a book about football for people that hate football). High Fidelity was OK but holiday reading.

Atlas Shrugged - Jesus wept.

I plough through spy and detective novels constantly. But OMG the frigging Bourne Supremacy etc books are awful. Terrible. The first one is just about OK so that you think hmm, I might as well keep going (they're only 2 quid in second hand shops) but the second one is just *abominable*.

There are a couple of good Tom Clancy ones (by the standards of airport novels) but most of them are too "he put down his CX5 that had been made by master craftsmen in the small Swiss town of Nutzsplatter, pausing only to admire its 5mm adjustable magnitude, which a professional with training in the Lumumba camps between 1976 and 1978 could consider to be..." shite. Yes, we get that you've done the research but it's still crap.

Can't believe no-one here has mentioned Paulo Coelho! A gf got me that once...think it was then when I realised it was all over...

Anything by Dan Brown seconded, thirded whatever. It was Angels and Demons I think and it was awful but once I started I couldn't stop. I didn't want to carry it around on my holiday and couldn't bring myself to burn it so I wrote on the inside cover "this book is ***** and will steal 2 hrs of your life, I warn you not to read any further" and left it on a train.

Life of Pi is a marmite book. I loved it.

I can't believe bruk has said Catcher in the Rye, that makes me sad 🙁

I thought that the bible was a good read. I reckon everyone should read it.

The Lord Of The Rings. Tom Bombadill can **** off.

le rouge et le noir...

After 500 pages of the bloque wondering weather or not it would be aceptable to kiss the girl I just gave up... I obviously got a very bad mark at the essay on this book.

Plus terry goodwin first volume of the sword of truth... Not a bad book, but long, long, very long.

I borrowed "Devil Bones" by Kathy Reichs from someone at work to help stave off boredom on the train home.

I don't remember ever trying to read a more badly written 'book' - it contains chapter endings like "I had no idea that my day's end we'd score two more ID's, close a cold-case, and come face-to-face with yet another perplexing religion".

Leaving aside the laughable characterization - you can almost hear the author pitching it to a film-maker / book editor at the publisher: "She's a troubled maveric forensic anthropologist, recovering alcoholic etc etc", it takes DB's modus operani of explaining absolutely everything to the reader to extremes - utter, utter drivel written in an insultingly patronising fashion - there's more literary technique in my daughter's nighttime stories FFS...

I made the mistake of buying a Kathy Reichs book on holiday once. It was truly awful.

I loved the Life of Pi and was indifferent to The Da Vinci Code - very ordinary.

I have trouble with Christopher Priest. The stories some to be really well conceived, but written dreadfully.

Paul Auster
Dan Brown
Quentin Jardine

The Great Gatsby = Most overrated book of all time
Crying of Lot 49 = Close runner up

Very interesting people's opinions on books! I loved Life of Pi and Chcolat, however I'm still trogging through Perfume .. not got any beter yet and I've got 70 pages to go!!!
I have read many shite books lately but funnily enough I can't remember some of the other names of them!! So memorable! Never even picked up any of Dan Brown's books as they appear so rubbish! Mr MC said Da Vinci code has same story line as Angels and Demons .. he's not money grabbing hen is he!!

Ulysses. It shouldn't take that long to describe a bloke walking round dublin.
(another Life of Pi lover here)

Dan Brown, obviously.
Oscar and Lucinda was awful, gave up halfway through.
White Teeth.
Birdsong was OK, nothing special.

Couldn't stomach Noah Gordon or Katherine Neville's books, either.

'Redback' by Howard Jacobson is pretentious unreadable toss.

Have tried a few Tony Parsons books but really, he's awful.

Clive Barker has a fantastic imagination, but his prose is only readable by pre-pubescent boys.

Ben Elton should have just stopped breathing after Blackadder, his books are turgid unimaginative nonsense - he truly is the Barbara Cartland of the new millenium.

Didn't read Catcher in the Rye 'till I was in my twenties, which I imagine is far too late to truly appreciate it.

I love Ian Banks, one of my favourite authors, but struggled a bit with Feersum Enjin.

OMG Tony Parsons, dreadful.

I thought i wasn't going to like White Teeth, but there's one passage in there that had me in a proper fit of the giggles - the "chief" insult.

I liked the Great Gatsby too, but perhaps that's because i've never found another "worthy" book that was so accessible.

I liked the Great Gatsby too, but perhaps that's because i've never found another "worthy" book that was so accessible.

I'm reading the Grapes of Wrath, seems fairly accessible. Second that thought when it comes to Dickens, though!

God, yeah Perfume was absolute garbage. I skipped so many pages!

I liked Brett Easton Ellis stuff until I tried to read Glamorama. Ended up throwing it across the room.

Will never read any Tolkien after been force fed the Hobbit at junior school. Bilge.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt was a big disappointment after being recommended by (I think) Mark Radcliffe.

Another thumbs down for "catcher in the rye" which, for me, has aged poorly. I also regretted starting "catch22", it triggered the end of my iconic book reading phase.

anything by L Ron Hubbard. i tried some of his science fiction books and **** me its garbage. as for his self help cult religion stuff i've never tried it and dont want to.

I was reading this thread thinking I can't remember any 'really' bad books I've read (mainly because I trash them if I hate them) but then I read:

[i]konabunny - Member
I plough through spy and detective novels constantly. But OMG the frigging Bourne Supremacy etc books are awful. Terrible. The first one is just about OK so that you think hmm, I might as well keep going (they're only 2 quid in second hand shops) but the second one is just *abominable*.[/i]

Totally agree, read a post from Hora once reporting these to be fantastic, was left wondering if he'd read the same books as me? Read them only to finish them, so I wouldn't have to ever think there might have been a redeeming conclusing, absolute garbage. If you do fancy them just read the first one (which is good) and leave it at that.

[i]I love Ian Banks, one of my favourite authors, but struggled a bit with Feersum Enjin. [/i]
Yeah, I'm re-reading all my book collection at the moment, and though I've read all the rest of IB books, I can't bring myself to trawl though that one again (just yet). Not a bad book, just really hard work until you 'click' and can read it without trying to 'talk' the lines as you go...
As for the Tolken trilogy, I personnaly just couldn't remember who all the characters were, so lost interest. Though I loved the films, and may try to re-read the books as I know can identify who the different character are!

Chocolat and Life of Pi are magical books - literally and figuratively.
I also like Nick Hornby's books - surely the absolute opposite of chick lit?

Strangely, although The Da Vinci Code is preposterous twaddle it is written in such a way that I found it difficult to put down.

The World according to Garp and Catch 22 were books that left me wondering what the fuss was about. And I read a Peter Carey novel once, I shan't be doing that again.

I really liked Perfume, and Life of Pi.

I'll give you the Da Vinci Code though, utter shite.

And no matter how much I loved Kevin, don't bother trying to read her second book - Post Birthday World. load of crap.

Henry Miller - Black Spring
Joseph Heller - Something Happened

I also like Nick Hornby's books - surely the absolute opposite of chick lit?

One dimensional characters, immense soppiness and general overblown overwrought emotional b0ll0cks? Perhaps you and i have a different understanding of what chick lit is.

Blokes are one-dimensional 🙂

Still got a couple of chapters to read, but this is f*cking terrible

[img] [/img]

[i]Blokes are one-dimensional [/i]

Touché!

Perfume - oh there's been a few murders on page 205 of a 260 page book ... maybe the excitement starts now ... or then again!!

ian banks -had glass in the title was utter pish!
one more vote for catcher in the rye, i wanted to kill the main character.
white swan- every female who has read it fizzes at the bung about it, i lasted about 50 pages and lost the will to turn the next page.

[i]fizzes at the bung [/i] 😆

I found white swans unreadable.

JRRRR Tolkien - yyyaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnn

Cider with Rosie. The reason I fell out of love with reading and failed my English Lit O Level. Not so much failed as crashed and burned spectacularly. What a pile of crap.

The Time Traveller's Wife is odious. The Groomer more like. And the silly bugger never seems to remember to write down some lottery numbers...

i've read that recently, and would agree it's not great. i have to point out, though, that you either didn't concentrate or didn't finish it because about halfway through that's exactly what he does.

RE Parfum- I don't understand what people want from this. Stylistically it might not be your cup of tea, but boring?

Anyway, I thought this thread was going to head in a different direction. Currently (and coincedentally) reading [i]On Garbage[/i] by John Scanlan, [i]Paris Sewermen[/i] by Donald Reid, [i]Rubbish Theory[/i] by Michael Thompson and various others on rubbish/waste. All quite enjoyable.

Another vote against Dan Brown. I did see the film but that was just to watch Audrey Tautou.

But I loved Perfume, Life of Pi, Tractors in Ukraine and Iain Banks.

I've not managed to wade through Sartre's The Age of Reason. Had a few goes at it but it beats me every time. The Rainbow started off well but that beat me as well. The Catcher in the Rye has to be read at a certain time in your life otherwise it just doesn't work. I read it in one sitting overnight but I doubt I'd go back to it. Ian Rankin's Rebus series starts pretty badly but gets a lot better by the 4th or 5th one.

Still remember all these bad books are a lot better than most of the rubbish on here. 🙂

Whilst I'd agree that 'The Da Vinci Code' has less literary merit than 'The Hardy Boys, I have to say that [i]Umberto Eco's intellectual tour de force 'Foucault Pendulum'[/i] was one of the most turgid, pretentious piles of toss I have ever read. I read it after reading John Fowles's stunning 'The Magus', and was hoping for something similar, but I've avoided anything by Eco ever since.

And as for 'The Catcher in the Rye', it is indeed superb if you read it when you're 16 - as I did - but I read it again recently and found myself just wanting to forcibly drown the narrator in a vat of his own wee.

IMO
The fowler family business by jonathan meades - wonder why I even persevered with it.
Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance by robert pirsig - never finished it, got bored.
Meteor by dan brown - awful plot.
And the ass saw the angel by nick cave - its so flippin difficult to read!

Oh I forgot -

[b]Anything[/b] by Clive Cussler. Badly written (apart from very precise descriptions of cars) and completely stupid plots. Non-sequiteurs rule!

TenMen, good call on the Magus, is a fantastic book.

Post Office by Charles Bukowski

A miserable book, with miserable characters written in a miserable way.
(Highly recommended to any Smiths fans out there)

I'm constantly disappointed by so called classics that I feel I have to read in order to call myself educated and literate. Maybe I'm just a philistine. This includes.

Tale of Two Cities- did they really make a film about this turgid nonsense

Moby Dick- found out a lot about the New England whaling industry but not a lot else

Heart of Darkness- same as for Tale of Two Cities only the movie (Apocalypse Now) was much better

I just bought the Heart of Darkness.
I'll put it on the bottom of the pile 🙂