In the US ski market, piste skis are sometimes called front side skis, as in they are for the "front side" of the hill, the more accessible side. Backcountry skis have a different name.
Which is why I had to chuckle on meeting the chap at K2 responsible for their backcountry ski segment. His title? "Head of backside development".
I knew a chap who was an assistant Regional Buisness Unit Manager
a spare bum, essentially...
He was sad
My business card said Education Liason Officer. What this job title means is, the guy in printing can't spell Liaison. Other'n that it's obvious gibberish.
"You liaise with education?"
"Yes, that is what I do"
"But what does that mean?"
"Nobody has ever been able to explain it to me"
I used to be a Lean Champion and yes, skinny man in a suit of armour.
I also met someone once who was 'head of health and happiness'.
My favourite trend is for CEOs appointing directors above other directors. Those displaced directors then need to be made to feel better, so they end up with "chief" in their job title.
Anyone who is "chief" who reports to a director is very much not in the c-suite....
Grade inflation, VP, Senior VP, Executive VP, etc...
I also forgot, my boses job title is 'Scotland director'.
It was an awkward day when she met Nicola Sturgeon recently. 😆
Architect, designer, engineer. When buildings, 'designing' or 'engineering' are not involved. Quite ridiculous.
My good friend at Microsoft has the job title of "chief story teller" Its true you can see him on LinkedIn and guess what? ----yep there are lots of other story tellers above and below him in rank 🙄
The world of tech in which I reside is full of amazingly stupid job titles and I think only the media sector is potentially worse.
I briefly worked at 'gap' in my youth and was made 'hanger specialist' they had 4 managers and about 20 assistant managers and everyone got a stupid job title.
My current job is 'bike mender'
I would like
Global Officer for Harmonisation, Organisation, Management & Emoluments
Or
Vice Acting Chief Acquisitions, Territories International, Opportunities and Normalisation
One of our theatre orderlies calls himself a Trolleyologist.
I edited my job title to "Airbus Steering Committee (Deputy) Chairman" on the company messageboard/forum thing. So far no one appears to have noticed.
When I (briefly) worked for IBM, no-one could tell me what my job actually was, so I put "Last of the freelance hackers. Greatest sword fighter in the World" in my email sig.
No-one got the reference, and I was told to stop being flippant.
A friend was appointed to 'Assistant Head of Lower School'. Abbreviated to AsHoLS. He wasn't happy about that. At all.
bencooper - Member"Greatest sword fighter in the World"
"...and you wrote the software."
Great thread I'm looking for an upgrade when I'm out of business cards
Currently only senior consultant but need something that covers does everything else too.
Oh and this one is just a bit insecure and try hard
Daenerys of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name
Queen of Meereen
Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men (claimant)
Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms (claimant)
Protector of the Realm (claimant)
Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea
Breaker of Chains
Mother of Dragons
I worked with a 'Domestic Violence Advisor' once who worked in an office of Domestic Violence Improvement Officers'. I really hope they have changed their titles now....
A medical mate of mine, when asked what he does for a living replies with....
Gusset Sticher
Business excellence manager, seems to be involved in everything.!
I used to have a colleague who began signing his emails "Regional Head of Sales" until the boss bollocked him. The same bloke paid £94,000 for a chalet on The Warren at Vulgarsoch, which only had two years left before the rules said it had to be replaced with a new chalet at God knows what cost. He also disliked driving an poxy Audi A4 and declared: "I won't be happy until I've got a beemer on my drive".
He didn't last long.
I'm still trying to figure out what 'Intelligent Customer' means after seeing it on one of our IT bods sig. Lots of champions where I work, pity most of them get given the title rather than earning it.
I know a bloke who has had these job titles in the last 18 months
Head of Digital Experience
Chief Digital Transformation Officer
Deputy Director Digital advocacy
Digital Czar
I expect him soon to be re-titled digital and replaced with a small chip that can count in binary. It would be about as much use.
I asked him what digital meant. He spent quite a lot of time talking about what he thought it was. At the end of which a) I was no wiser and b) he was clearly an idiot.
As a man in a company of exactly two, I describe myself truthfully as 'will do anything for food'
I'm still trying to figure out what 'Intelligent Customer' means after seeing it on one of our IT bods sig.
Easy, somebody educated/knowledgeable in the area they are the customer, as opposed to mug (Consultant/Sales Term) customer who will believe whatever twaddle you go in with so long as there are pictures, flashy things and something that is 10 years old that they have never seen before.
Back when I had an actual job, a document being prepared for our board by our administrator, showing proposed changes in staff structure, accidentally promoted me from 'Director' to 'Dictactor'.
Friend of a friend is a Fudge Packer.
We seem to have "Thought Leaders" at our place, which is a bit worrying...
Friend of a friend is a Fudge Packer.
a friend of a friend is a Chough Monitor
I was a 'Quality Coordinator' for a while, the old Quality Manager retired and the boss couldn't bring himself to pay me any extra when I took over...
We had a "Quality Tsar" for a while....
There used to be a role called Director of Chrismas (at M&S)
I wonder if they had a belly, a beard and a red suit
My job used to take me to meetings where I rubbed up against some of the big hitters in the local authority. There were some tremendous job titles, but one that stuck in my mind was "Director of Place".... it was something to do with the streetscene, housing and regeneration.
However, someone above mentioned champions. I have the honour of having met the local Health Board's "Breastfeeding Champion." She announced it at a meeting I was in with my line manager. She explained that as part of the strategy to improve local health she was part of the midwifery team and her task was to encourage new mums to breastfeed. Her colleague also present was working on a project in the same regeneration area to introduce Omega 3 supplements at primary schools. The breastfeeding champion explained that breastfeeding, especially int eh early stages had big benefits for children. I made the mistake of asking whether the benefits of breastfeeding could be introduced retrospectively, meaning that maybe Colostrum could be synthesised and made into a supplement in the same way Omega 3 could be given to the kids, but unfortunately the champion simply thought I was being rude. The incident led to a stern few words from my line manager.
My job used to take me to meetings where I rubbed up against some of the big hitters in the local authority.
You're a Lap Dancer?
When I worked in Tech I always used to refer to my boss as the Supreme Head of IT or Shithead for short.
These threads always remind me of Al Murray (beautiful British name)
Used to call myself "Sewage Technician" in a previous role
aka sorting out everyone else's sh**
I'm still trying to figure out what 'Intelligent Customer'
I'm still hoping that one day I'll meet an Intelligent Customer.....
The CEO where I work has done it the other way. He runs a 3000+ people company with offices in about 30 countries, but is listed in the directory as "Developer".
I popped into a BMW showroom last year, and was greeted by a "BMW Genius".
[url= https://bmwretailjobs.co.uk/roles/bmw-genius/ ]BMW Genius Job Description[/url]
