The kind of ‘back in my day’ thinking I think is regressive – the claim that somehow books are the height of brain/intellectual stimulation is fairly narrow and baseless
For me it's more of an "everything in moderation" viewpoint. No problem with having a day binging on Xbox/Instagram/Barbara Cartland novels/whatever-floats-your-boat, but when it's all day every day on the same thing it becomes a problem.
unlike say Fifa
Say what now?
Kids are crap at self governance so if you tell them ‘five minutes’ then at the end of five/ten/however many minutes they won’t walk away and then it’ll be ‘just doing this, just got to get there, just got to get killed, just found a massive gun’ bollocks that means confrontation as you insist or enforce that time is up.
Xboxes have power buttons. Give them, say, a ten minute warning to finish whatever bit they're doing and not start anything else. Ten minutes later, "no," *click*.
Mate of mine's dad used to just throw the circuit breaker when it was bedtime. No confrontations as he wasn't even in the room.
My son has been devious enough to tether his gaming PC to his phone to bypass the router.
The main issue we have is noise - he's into car racing sims and his force feedback steering wheel get up is loud, so it's off when we go to bed as we are up at 6am (make that 5am when the cat's demand feeding).
My new BT Smarthub 2 (hub 7) has arrived with 'mesh' repeaters so I've got that to sort over the weekend.
We only insist on bed at a reasonable time. My daughter is no trouble (nearly 16). My son then start's playing, I'm an adult, but we say, behave like one then. He's late into college most days (we've already left for work hours before he gets up).
The new BT HUB2 has an app, rather than logging in via a web browser, and it gives you fast access to 'suspend' internet etc. Although, my wife has been known to unplug the hub and shove it in the car boot when she goes to work.
Except when they get wiped, the round ends, searching for a lobby and waiting for the round to start.
But I have to wait for that. Fifa has a timer, Forza has laps/challenges/destinations. Whenever I come into the room when Fortnite's on it's just someone in a daft suit swinging an axe, dangling from a glider or shooting at a tree. I swear I never see Fortnite 'not doing anything'.
Xboxes have power buttons. Give them, say, a ten minute warning to finish whatever bit they’re doing and not start anything else. Ten minutes later, “no,” *click*.
Mate of mine’s dad used to just throw the circuit breaker when it was bedtime. No confrontations as he wasn’t even in the room.
I aint scared of throwing the switches (xbox power button, router, downstairs ring main) as necessary but despite warnings and countdowns the point is it results in unacceptable levels of confrontation and anger so this weekend I'll take the anger up front by removing the ****ing thing.
The Xbox parental controls are a pain in the hoop to set up initially but are excellent once they’re up and running. You can restrict acess to individual 30 min slots during the day and can also set a maximum amount of gameplay during each day.
You can also allow or block individual games all from your phone/ tablet.
It also tells the kids how long they have left and gives them countdown notifications to manage their expectations.
Xboxes have power buttons. Give them, say, a ten minute warning to finish whatever bit they’re doing and not start anything else. Ten minutes later, “no,” *click*.
The problem with that is the two hours of tears and snotters and tantrums which follow.
It’s not a viable long term solution for managing the situation.
The trick is to avoid taking stuff away from them but instead reframe it in the perspective of having preset limits which are not going to change.
I think perhaps there’s two sides to this. One is that it’s the latest demon, like watching TV was when I was a kid.
Sorry to drag this through from page 1, but there is a big and important difference here. When we were kids all we had was TV, and all the tv had was 4 channels. Kids TV started at 3 and finished at 5pm. That was it. After that the only thing you could watch was the news. This is the point that as kids we all got off the couch and went and played outside.
Don’t you have any adults in the house? How do you go about enforcing bedtime or eating their vegetables?
Too weak for Fortnite?
(can you see what I did with the word sounds there? Can you? eh?)
How did this get past one reply?
Be a parent FFS!
But I have to wait for that.
Hence giving them a warning first. How long's a typical Fortnight match last?
As a kid if my folks had just walked in and unceremoniously pulled the power on me I'd have lost the plot, at least give me chance to save my game or whatever. With a bit of warning, I'd have gone "fair enough."
Find the threat of turning it off at the socket, with the risk of them losing their saved game position (data?) makes them listen and works well.
Consistency in applying rues helps to but as with most parenting it's difficult when you’re tired/busy/want a quiet life. Ours ‘earn’ screen time by getting their homework done, helping out etc but are quick to jump on any signs that we are likely to bend the rules.
Fortnite has a timer too it’s a main part of the gameplay. When you see them with pick axes and guns it does not mean he’s still playing, he could be watching the last few. No matter because even if he is paying why tell him to stop.
This is the point that as kids we all got off the couch and went and played outside.
... which is what I said on the first page. So long as they're doing other stuff as well it's not a problem. This whole "30 minutes screen time" notion is draconian and ludicrous. It's 2019, video gaming isn't going to go away any more than television or rock & roll or whatever the Rotting Kids' Brains Du Jour was when we were young.
If kids are obsessing, what are you offering as an alternative? Books, TV, Lego, take them out for a bike ride? Or just going "don't do that" and expecting them to stare at the wall for six hours?
With a bit of warning, I’d have gone “fair enough.”
And here’s the tricksy bit.
I have three kids. The oldest one would go “ fair enough “ as you described.
The middle one would have already turned it off when asked the first time.
The youngest one would spend the next two hours raging against the injustice of the world, possibly with a bit of property damage thrown in
Not all kids are the same and they’re rarely rational
If they were, parenting would be a lot easier than it actually is.
This is the point that as kids we all got off the couch and went and played outside.
Whhhyyyyyyy don’t you?
This whole “30 minutes screen time” notion is draconian and ludicrous
It really isn’t though.
Ours get a slot from 4:30 ( to make sure that they aren’t pissing about on the xbox when they should be doing their homework) till 6:00 ( which is dinner time.)
Then another slot from 7:00 ( to give them time to do their chores) to 10:00 ( to make sure they stop and go to bed)
If this didn’t happen then everyone’s evening would be considerably more chaotic and stressful.
… which is what I said on the first page. So long as they’re doing other stuff as well it’s not a problem. This whole “30 minutes screen time” notion is draconian and ludicrous. It’s 2019, video gaming isn’t going to go away any more than television or rock & roll or whatever the Rotting Kids’ Brains Du Jour was when we were young.
If kids are obsessing, what are you offering as an alternative? Books, TV, Lego, take them out for a bike ride? Or just going “don’t do that” and expecting them to stare at the wall for six hours?
Sorry, what I meant was as kids we didn't have the opportunity to sit all evening in front of a screen. Its very different now, Im not saying screen time is bad per se, but the opportunity to spend 24 hours a day doing something "on screen" is here. It wasn't when we were kids.
The Xbox parental controls are a pain in the hoop to set up initially but are excellent once they’re up and running.
Thanks Perchy. Never felt the need until now. Will give em a go.
I’m being genuine here. I’d love to hear why parents dread screen time so much.
For us there's a few things:
- a game like fortnite has had a team of hundreds trying to make it as addictive add possible, full time work for a few years. They succeeded. If I didn't restrict, the kids would be on 24/7.
- digital games get two of our three quite agitated. One in particular. Come and meet him before and after an hour on screen. Jekyll. Hyde.
- if they're not on screen, they do other things. Like read books. Trampoline. Ride bikes. Dungeons and Dragons with friends. Socialise through board games, Lego or similar. They draw pictures. All these things develop in then stuff that a computer game cannot. Gaming is sedentary, and it (and other things) is building a generation who will have huge health issues later in life. As basic as - every foot strike as a child under 16 (when running, jumping, walking etc) develops thicker and stronger bones. We have research in Scotland that many bone and related joint issues are through our current generation of parents having not had enough physical movement. Imagine what they're kids are going to be like.
This was the cartoon that Scotland's chief medical officer opened a speech with to a group of teachers and educators.
Consistently being shit at upholding rules is the real issue. Kids learn adults weaknesses very quickly.
Telling someone in your house to stop doing something isn't even parenting.
The making a timetable approach is laughable
Not all kids are the same and they’re rarely rational
I blame the parents.
Ours get a slot from 4:30 ( to make sure that they aren’t pissing about on the xbox when they should be doing their homework) till 6:00 ( which is dinner time.)
Then another slot from 7:00 ( to give them time to do their chores) to 10:00 ( to make sure they stop and go to bed)
That's not 30 minutes then, is it? 😝
When our kids were little we gave them their screen time in 30 minute 'tickets' we used to give them 3 old Train tickets each that they could use at any time of the day but there was no more, and they got tickets removed for bad behaviour.
It's evolved now after about 5/6 years that they only get 2 30 minute slots, we all still call them tickets even though the train tickets are long gone. But it's habit to them now and they get it.
No use to the op, but that's my top top tip for those with kids just starting out.
Wait a minute.
You had 4 channels? Well check out Mr Fancypants.
We has 3 and a gaming console.
– if they’re not on screen, they do other things. Like read books. Trampoline. Ride bikes. Dungeons and Dragons with friends. Socialise through board games, Lego or similar. They draw pictures. All these things develop in then stuff that a computer game cannot.
Like what?
Video games can be as creative as Lego (see Minecraft). They can be just as social as D&D or board games, either local multiplayer or online with friends. Sure, not all games are like that, but the notion that you believe board games develop something that video games "cannot" just makes me think you haven't played a video game since Pac-Man.
Gaming is sedentary, and it (and other things) is building a generation who will have huge health issues later in life. [etc]
But most of the alternatives you've listed there are sedentary too. How much exercise does a kid get reading a book?
My lad isnt all that fussed about xbox anymore, still plays it but he knows when he's had enough. So now he's into clothes and wants to spend hundreds££ on Stone Island clobber, oh how I long for those days when all he bothered about was vbucks :/
We had 3 and a gaming console.
You had a gaming console? Well check you out 😉
Yes we did and a Grandstand.
Telling someone in your house to stop doing something isn’t even parenting
what's that then ?
I’ve got the parental controls set up on our Xboxes and the kids iPads so they have a screen time ration per day, with a cutoff at 6:30pm, and it’s up to them how they use it.
The Fortnite conversation with my lad was pretty short
“Dad, can I have Fortnite, all my mates play it”
“Fortnite is a 12 rated game, how old are you?”
“9”
“What do you think then?”
Some of things he builds in Minecraft are bloody amazing though, and I regard that as simply a modern version of the many hours I spent with Lego as a kid.
Like whats the alternative? Playing with physical toys? Why are physical toys better than digital?
I’m being genuine here. I’d love to hear why parents dread screen time so much.
Like other people have said above, it's about balance, and trying to avoid kids spending all their spare time on one activity. Screen entertainment tends to give more immediate gratification than other pastimes, so it can be easy for kids to spend most of their time on screens, to the exclusion of other things.
Physical toys demand a whole range of skills that digital toys don't require. You can build incredibly complex Minecraft structures, but that won't teach you how to fix a wobbly Lego wall. Acquiring the patience and concentration required to read a book is a useful skill in its own right. You don't tend to see too many hyper book readers.
Screen entertainment can be great fun, but I don't think it's a replacement for all the other indoor things kids can do.
Telling someone in your house to stop doing something isn’t even parenting
Do you have to ask Tarquin for permission to stop playing or he gets no Croquembouche?
what’s that then ?
Instilling basic respect for your wishes in your own home weeksy.
Pass it on...
it works outside of the home too
WTF is tarquin Drac?
Fortnite is actually being played on MY PS4 right now. By my 9yr old. (PEGI guidelines are nonsense BTW. Actually play games yourself and you'll realise this very quickly)
When I want it to stop I'll simply ask for the current game to be the last before switching it off.
Fortnite will then be turned off.
We'll probably play a game of PES together later.
She's a goalie. a pretty good one. trains 2 or 3 times a week. and plays after school with mates a lot. Goalie's have a slightly different perspective on outfield play to an outfield player (that and being nutters). PES actually helps with her understanding of positioning and strategy when playing football for real. I actually love wendyball but don't ever watch games (on TV) and find it a pretty good way of explaining the game to her without having to travel miles and pay a fortune to see good players/matches and listen to idiots shouting.
Minecraft as Cougar says is creativeAF.
Youtube also gives brilliant ideas for creativity. and for kids can be a bit like getting watching WHY DON'T YOU" or "Blue Peter" in the 70s and thinking about all the cool stuff they showed you and getting out and doing it yourself.
When I want it to stop I’ll simply ask for the current game to be the last before switching it off.
Yes I that’s the same as telling.
When I want it to stop I’ll simply ask for the current game to be the last before switching it off.
What if she says no?
What if she says yes and then just carries on playing anyway?
I’ll simply ask
And 2 hours later you're 'simply asking' by flipping the trip switch under the stairs for the downstairs ring main.
Actually Drac it's both telling and asking politely.
Actual words usually something along the lines of "Make that your last game?"
Spoken language is great like that.
Do you even have kids who play fortnite?
Actually Drac it’s both telling and asking politely.
Wild guess here but that’s what actually just about everyone else meant.
Do you even have kids who play fortnite?
No, Fortnite is dead it’s Apex now.
She wouldn't do either Perchy.
That basic respect i mentioned sees to that.
I've always had consoles since 1974 or so. As much a part of my life as bikes (I realise plenty on here fall into neither category)
Once kids came along they had to be shown how to use mine.
When given their first consoles of their own all were asked to (still) ask me before playing. They continue to do so. it's quite anice respectful situation. Try it.
There are no stairs here and I've never had to phtsically switch anything off myself ever.
PS4 is in the lounge so we all have to respect each others use of that TV.
2 PS3s also (1 in another room). but the same respectful situation applys.
There are no stairs here
How do you go up to bed? Should we start a crowdfunder?
Apex Legends is released on Monday on PS4 Drac.
I've no idea what the rest of what you were typing is meant to even mean.
Or why you're nipping away at whatever it is you are nipping away at.
If I go up to bed it's usually in someone elses house.
She wouldn’t do either Perchy.
But what if she did?
You’re making the same mistake as Cougar in assuming that all kids are the same. They really aren’t.
Furthermore, I’ll make a confident prediction that your biddable, cooperative nine year old will, one day become a recalcitrant teenager and then you’ll be telling her plenty and she won’t be listening.
Good luck with that.
Fortnite is actually being played on MY PS4 right now. By my 9yr old. (PEGI guidelines are nonsense BTW. Actually play games yourself and you’ll realise this very quickly)
I’m one of those rare parents tries to play and watch everything that is age rated above my kids ages to decide whether I think it’s suitable for them or not.
In this case, I don’t feel a game where the character’s sole purpose is to kill every one around them, in a realistic, albeit slightly cartoonish manner, is appropriate for my 9 year old to play. So he doesn’t get to play it.
Age ratings are not nonsense, they’re a guide to be applied by parents who know their own children. Just like I’m happy for my lad to watch Iron Man, but not Batman Begins. Same certificate, different contents.
Apex Legends is released on Monday on PS4 Drac.
So why have I been playing it for weeks?
