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Most of the above matches with my rather current experience. One thing though, you ask for the baby Haynes manual - have you spotted the baby Haynes manual?
I found it very handy from -1 month to 4 months. Baby now 7 months, so I think we’re doing ok. Book is simpler and more balanced than most. And handy troubleshooting flow charts at the back where you normally look for wiring diagrams.
I CBA to read through that lot, but:
- nappies and sacs
- baby grows (white)
- lots of bibs
- wipes
- nappy cream
- car seat
- rocker chair
- bath
- sleep basket
- hats & gloves (inside)
- all in one (outside)
- microwave steriliser
Anything else, buy when you need it
Also look for baby sales (NCT usually do them) once covid is under control. Along with Facebook Marketplace it is a great way of buying all that baby stuff you want/need.
We have a garage full of stuff we want to get rid of once they open back up. But they ain't getting my muslins!
Think everything is pretty well covered, but if it's not been mentioned look at reusable wipes. Can't remember what ours are called but they're way better than using disposable ones (for us). Think they're Australian. You'll still want a few packs of disposables for when you're out and about.
We couldn't get on with reusable nappies, but ymmv.
We do have a special magic nappy bin, because we were given it. It does a good job of masking poo smell, which can be a godsend when it's pissing down and you're on your own, but I dunno if I'd buy one.
We alternate between Bepanthen and Sudocrem. My nearly 2 year old finds it hilarious when I say bumpanther.
A packet of baby wipes
You can basically clean an entire child and an entire house with baby wipes. You will soon find you are never more than 2m away from a packet.
Get some condoms as well. My wife recently did a six week post birth check on a mum and discovered she was pregnant. She didn't take the news too well! (the mum, not my wife, she's not pregnant)
Don't over think things. You'll work it out and you seem to have the basics covered.
bumpanther.
At least buy me a drink first
If it’s not been mentioned, Ewan The Dream Sheep!
Just incase it hasn't been mentioned. Wouldn't bother with that. We got one as a gift. It's pretty crap and chews batteries for c.30 quid I'd be miffed
We ended up with a 15 quid Amazon white noise machines worked much better for us.
At least
buy me aexpress me some milk to drink first
Fixed
Just incase it hasn’t been mentioned. Wouldn’t bother with that. We got one as a gift. It’s pretty crap and chews batteries for c.30 quid I’d be miffed
Would you still be miffed if it was named after you? At the moment that's all I can see.
Thank you everyone - this is an amazing response. Getting on to local mosque for the Muslims now.
Also, can't believe I didn't actually think of googling for an actual Haynes baby manual!
As mentioned NCT sales are great for clothes and stuff. We also joined a childrens clothes exchange which probably saved us thousands.
We got on well with the Gina Ford books, but others may well disagree.
Breast feeding seems to be difficult to get the hang of, a good nurse/midwife can help out here, helping mum to get the hang of it.
We were advised not to use babywipes to start with, just cotton wool balls and warm water. Setting everything up at a changing station simplifies things and practising on a doll helps build a bit of confidence.
Enjoy, its a great journey.
forgot my bath temperature tip. If you have a thermostatic shower above your bath, figure out where on the dial is the right temperature for a warm bath, then just set it to that amount for every future bath and fill it up with the shower. perfect temperature every time without faffing about with hot/cold taps. We're still using this with our 4 year old.
shower mit over the shower head stops all splashing whilst you're filling it up, too
15 quid Amazon white noise machine
old mobile phone + youtube video of 24 hour white noise is free 🙂
Ewan the dream sheep +1 (I too thought of this immediately when I saw thread title and OP).
Does indeed eat batteries though, I bought some rechargeables pretty quickly
Congratulations OP - just want to second the posts for;
Buy all the baby wipes and nappies you can.
Muslins always to hand.
Ewan the dream sheep (and spare batteries).
If your wife is breast feeding - sleep when the baby does and don’t get bullied in to continuing if it doesn’t work for you.
Other than that just hugs, love, try not to stress and be there for each other too.
Get some condoms as well. My wife recently did a six week post birth check on a mum and discovered she was pregnant. She didn’t take the news too well! (the mum, not my wife, she’s not pregnant)
SIX WEEKS! I’m sure it was 3 months before I was allowed anywhere near ‘there’.
Babies need very little, stuff for changing, stuff for feeding for everything else get Amazon Prime and work it out as you go.
Just incase it hasn’t been mentioned. Wouldn’t bother with that. We got one as a gift. It’s pretty crap and chews batteries for c.30 quid I’d be miffed
Turn off the red light, batteries last ages
Turn off the red light, batteries ages
But then you wouldn't have the faint demonic glow as well as the freaky sounds!
Yeah we passed on the demonic glow 😀
Wipes, when you see bulk boxes on offer, buy them. I came home with 10 boxes of 12 packs and they were all used.
Breast feeding, my rhyme to help out was
Tummy to mummy, nipple to nose, open up wide and in it goes.... I thought it helped but my wife found the societal pressure to breast huge. She also found it immensely lonely at night.
We switched to bottles and used a Philips Avent steriliser and bottles. And a tommee tippee perfect prep machine. Expensive but the bottles were made in minutes not ages, makes a difference at 3am. My neighbours gave theirs milk at room temperature as it's quicker still.
My wife liked the donut pillow to sit on following the birth.
Reminds me we have no2 coming up soon. Better dig out the newborn hand me downs
Baby wipes were too harsh for the first born so it was cotton balls and water for her.
We use MAM bottles, they sterilise in the microwave without the need for any other pieces.
No two babies are the same. Our first slept through by 3 months the boy has slept through twice and he's 17 months! He took to the boob far far better than his big sister though.
Worth noting that Tesco (other supermarkets are available) is open 6am to midnight and will sell you pretty much anything you might need urgently.
If anyone asks if they can do anything to help, get them to make you ready meals. A pile in the freezer or delivered daily helps when you're sleep deprived.
Good luck and make sure you take care of yourself too. You'll be fine.
Cargo bike.......
Don’t stress, support your mrs, anything you need or want you can order or will get given by people trying to get rid of there stuff!
Breastfeeding is best which is well proven but as said above feeling pressured will not help your mrs.
(mrs db is super qualified senior midwife)
And congratulations!
Some great advice. That dream sheep is weird. Don’t get a Angel Care alarm thing as when my daughter rolled off it and it went off during the night I did actually piss myself. Bottle feeding can be interesting , my wife went out and left me a bottle of tit milk which I promptly managed to empty down the sink. So I made a big bottle of formula which my daughter had never taken, she hoofed the lot and slept for 7 hours ! It took me 2 weeks to confess , one sleepless night as we lamented in what I had done I admitted it, we fed her again and she slept. She was hungry it seems. And still is at 7 , it’s like watching a cement mixer 😂
Anyway good luck, it’s ace and terrifying and awful and amazing all in 30 seconds. Look after your Mrs as that’s all your job is for 6 months.
Great advice here, when baby is old enough to have a comforter...ours had a bear head on a towel buy two of the favourite one they never put down. Our little un who is 7 now still has hers and still takes it to bed. When she was 2 it got lost, the shop we bought it from had discontinued the line as well. She wouldn’t settle without it and I found 2 new ones on eBay....at £25 each....I bought both and have kept the spare one just in case. If you look people are always selling these things on eBay for 5x what they cost so it must be a common thing 👍😂
Top notch advice so far. We’re waiting for our second to arrive.
Only thing I haven’t seen mentioned -
First couple of days it’s eat, sleep, nappy. Every 2-4 hours round that cycle. If eat doesn’t happen on that interval you need to make it happen. That’s why you’re gonna need more nappies than one pack!
I’ll always remember spending the night on the maternity ward, little family across the ward gleefully telling the nurse in the morning “yeah we all slept great for 8hrs” and the nurse whipping them urgently into a feed.
But don’t sweat it, as above, you can still go to the shops! Just get the first couple days covered and get some home cooked dinners in the freezer whilst you got some spare time.
Some of the best advice we got has been echoed up there ^^^
Lots of folks will say 'we really needed XXXXX so you should definitely get that' but they have no way of knowing whether it will fit your family and you. For example, lots of folk saying that Ewan the Dream sheep is great, but our son absolutely hated it*. I could barely remember any of the advice anyway so would usually end up asking folk as and when issues arose. Anyway, you can figure out lots of stuff as you go, and don't be afraid to abandon ship on an idea and try something new.
Congrats and best of luck!
*he's almost 3 now and found him in a cupboard. He calls him 'Creepy Sheepy' and he's good pals with his stuffed puffin so it wasn't money wasted after all.
Lots of AA/AAA batteries!
Lol - some good advice on here.
Buy some decent coffee, or a coffee machine thing (even the dreaded nespresso) - you will value this above anything else you buy. Oh, and an audible subscription.
We've had 2 - now 2 and 4, and I love every minute with them. Even being up all night with them at various points - wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Overall, my finding is: nothing is particularly complicated, but its the non-stop/constant nature of it that's challenging. Therefore, you should buy things that make your life easier/simplify.
Obviously this is situation specific, but here are a few that worked for us:
Lots of people recommending microwave steam sterilizers. We had a Milton tub thing - you just store everything in there, it's always sterile, and you just take out what you need and shake off the excess. Seems much less faff to me.
Nappy bin. We have one - an odorless one, next to the changing table. Yes, you could bag up the dirty nappy (and wipes.... with one hand), then take the nappy outside to the bin. Or you could just open the little flap and drop it in right there, then change the bin every other day.
You don't really know what's going to happen with feeding until it happens. As above - there are plenty of breast-feeding nazis out there - these should be shown the door as soon as they reveal themselves as such. There are too many stories of mums being made to feel inadequate because of these people - Literally ask them to leave.
If breast feeing isn't working, you can use formula - it's fine. Both mine had breast and formula - and honestly, it's the best of both worlds. Some people will tell you that once babies are bottle/formula fed they won't go back to the breast, but that's not my experience, and the flexibility was very valuable. Believe me, if your baby is crying because they are hungry..... you will just do whatever works (and that's the only "right" thing)
Otherwise, there are very few things that I feel that we couldn't have lived without. I would respectfully suggest that you don't need a thermometer for the bath or the bedroom - but an in-ear thermometer is good to check that they are not sick - fevers in young babies can be very serious, so you need a thermometer if only to put your mind a rest. Get a braun in-ear one.
Otherwise just try to enjoy it.
It was said above, but in the delivery room stay up the dry end.
Also. Don't watch this...
https://www.reddit.com/r/educationalgifs/comments/k9y005/extracting_a_baby/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Flask of warm water - topped up with the spare water in the kettle whenever we made ourselves a drink for a ready supply of tepid water for cleaning baby and mixing formula. Worked for us as we mostly used cotton wool pads or flannels for nappy changing and cleaning and as formula was the only option due to medication. Buy the formula you can get hold of the easiest as they can get brand loyal.
Our demon is now 2 months old.
Make sure you have some decent headphones. Sometimes nothing you do will stop them screaming, so put some music on.
We got an angelcare nappy bin for next to the changing table as it's convenient and some of the poos are horrendous. Odour free.
Plenty of muslin cloths.
A snow suit for when out and about. Don't waste money of clothes, all of ours we're off marketplace/gumtree/vinted. Cost sod all which is handy as they outgrow them in weeks so sell them again and get your money back (minus postage.)
Hands and toes get cold so get some socks and mittens. We got plenty of vests and baby grows that have sleeves that fold over at the ends to keep hands warm, work a treat.
A proper baby bath helps, we just put it on worktop in the kitchen so no bending over (might not be an issue for you but I'm old and rickety.) I use my kitchen probe (for roasts) to make sure water is correct temp.
If you get a Moses basket just get a second hand one and get a new mattress, they only use it for a few weeks anyway.
Aldi premium nappies are great. Even when there are some disasterpoos there is no leakage. Their cheap ones and Lidl own tend to leak in an explosion. Aldi baby wipes are the best we've used, you can buy them by the box for about £2.60.
Plan meals that are easily eaten with one hand - having to rock a baby in one arm to stop it screaming in your face makes dinner time a right ballache so do everything you can to make it stress free.
Also make sure mum has some easily to prepare lunches for when you aren't around.
Of course breastfeeding is best but it's incredibly stressful, painful and takes too long. We got 2 second hand electric breat pumps, bottles and plug in steriliser from Facebook/similar. Missus pumps every 3 to 4 hours but takes 12 minutes so even at 3am she's straight back to sleep. Even this means a surplus so she can have a beer/wine with dinner and throw away the next lot of milk whilst we use the stash. Most importantly it means I can do the feed whilst the missus sleeps. You owe it to her.
Don't worry about screwing up. Baby has no idea what's going on and won't remember anyway.
I don't think it helpful to refer to anyone as a breastfeeding 'Nazi'. Someone trying to promote something which is clinically proven to help both mother and baby longterm is quite literally the opposite of a Nazi. I remember that in those emotional hours/days following birth it can be overwhelming but with the right support it should be achievable for most. In retrospect we were lucky that due to a complicated birth we stayed in for two nights and had all of the support we needed, round the clock. A close family member was rushed out following a relatively simple birth and received no support at all. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Good luck OP xx
I'm amazed that the NCT course didn't give you this information. Maybe it depends on the teacher, we got loads of detail like what you're asking for (though it was 12 years ago!). Give them some feedback.
Nazi's too strong but the militant breastfeeding lobby made the first six weeks of motherhood / parenthood a misery for my wife and I.
She was determined to breastfeed and stuck with it through cracked nipples, mastitis, near constant crying (all three of us), we took all the support we could and paid for counsellors from place like La Leche. The health visitor really made her feel guilty for not being able to do it.
In the end it was my mum who lost her rag and ordered us to give her granddaughter a bottle. It was like a light coming on, poor mite had been hungry for nearly 6 weeks.
I remember the next visit from the health visitor. My wife (me too) was terrified of what she'd say. I took the day off to be there for support. What she said just infuriated me more. She had a poor record (maybe due to the area we live in, there is a link between social class and breastfeeding, like it or not) and was 'on a warning' from her management chain to get her numbers up. She'd privately thought that my wife wasn't going to succeed but felt she couldn't intervene, partly because of the impact on her numbers but also the stigma for us as a nice middle class family turning up to our middle class baby classes laden with Tommy Tippee bottles and formula.
It still hurts 16 years on that I didn't act sooner. I also wish I'd taken it up with her bosses as she wasn't being treated fairly either, and she was as distraught as us the day we 'fessed up.
The mantra is 'breast is best'. What the baby needs is best.
tommee tippee perfect prep machine +1
If you're going down the night time formula route or just in general, pick one up off facebook market place. We managed to get one for a tenner with the first born, he suffered with reflux quite bad on the boob at night but not the bottle. When we got rid of it they were going for £20, bonus (machine not the baby). Super easy to use and clean even when you're in that 3am zombie mode sleep deprived state.
In terms of the option of bottle (and steriliser!) and getting them used to it. Be aware if she has a C-section then it is harder to start breast-feeding, so just be as supportive as you can be to what mum feels is appropriate at the time. And an option, though of course do whatever works for you, my mate did a mix of formula and expressed breast milk for night times and Dad volunteered to do one 'shift' of feeding so my mate could sleep for 6 hours (with earplugs in!). Their daughter had colic and just didn't feed well so they did whatever worked to get milk down and stay down. But they stuck to the routine that mum and dad had 12 hours together, then mum or dad did a 6 hour shift (6 pm-midnight or midnight-6 am) and swapped over half way through the night. They also swapped evening/overnight every so often depending on dad's work requirements, because as other people have said overnight can be lonely but you also both need sleep. Good luck and enjoy!
Cheeky wipes are the reuseable wipes, I prefer using them to wet wipes, less fear of tearing and poo on my fingers/hand!
Bless you theotherjonv. Like I said luck played a big role for us but it wasn't always easy. No-one should ever be made to feel ashamed, being a new parent is hard enough.
At the end of the day many friends did one of the other and all of their kids are growing up happy, healthy and equally as annoying.
Xx
firstly congrats.
I cba to read everyone elses suggestions im sure they are all good.
My 2penneth.
its hard on mum. Keeping mum happy / alive does the same for baby. Get as much food in as you can. Have bags of sweets / treats for mum and stull to look after her.
grab a microwave sterilizer. nice and easy.
get loads of nappies and babywipes. people will say bet the cloth ones but knackers to that, when your covered in shit it all just wants to go in the bin.
get a thermometer thats fast! one that you have to stick under an armpit for a few mins is no good. get a braun digital one.
get a gro egg. Yes they are not that accurate but it will give you a guide and coupled with the thermometer will be piece of mind for you.
babywipes and cloths.
Oh and go with your instincts. people will force all sorts of ideas on you. do what works for you and dont get upset they are just trying to help. dont be scared by the health practitioners theyll change their tune after 6 months.
look after mum. and yourself. But look after mum.
Some kind of sterilisation system? What
Child 1. Started off sterilising everything until I thought about it. Then realised the amount of bacteria that must go into a baby via their environment is astronomical.
Child 2: Didn't sterilise a thing. Stuck stuff through the dishwasher mostly anyway which I'm sure does the same.
get a thermometer thats fast
Definitely pony up for a gun type thermometer early doors. You won't regret it
You can get a little six pack of pre mix formula bottles with sterile teats that are about 70ml each.
Buy some as your emergency back up for the day the fridge breaks/ kettle blows up/ wife goes missing / all of the above at the same time. Stash them in the back of the cupboard and remember them for when the fan gets hit.
If you're sensible, stash another six pack with them and just style it out when others would be up the creek.
Also, they're perfect for a day out with baby without wife. We had a full day wedding where wife was bridesmaid and couldn't be around the baby most of it. Fill your pockets and you've always got body temp sterile formula on tap, without having to go through finding kettles and sterilising, and sortting powder.
Also worked for trip to zoo while wife went spa with buddies.
Colic burpy stuff.....Ashton and Parsons powder and Infacol
Tummy tub! Honestly this was the best thing ever for our two. No chance of dropping the baby and doesn't do your back in, unlike standing over a bath.
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