[Closed] Possible Inappropriate Adult Content

CALL POLICE

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+1, quickly.

Mike, police have been involved but as yet nothing can be proved. The main thing that my friend is concerned about is that the time this guy crosses the line, their son will be implicated.

Transit van, false plates and a base ball bat.

Bare in mind however that in every school in the country there will be 14 years olds shagging 18 year old senior boys. Not saying its correct just that it happens.

How horrific for an 18 year old lad to be branded basicly a pervert, with little hard evidence to back it up, didnt we all mix with the older kids to look cool, abuse is just a new way of ensuring that the freinds kids diont mix with somebody they dont approve of.

Just imagine if your 18 year old lad wa branded the same and the local do gooders shunned your family as a result.

At 14 surely he is not beyond being disciplined. Surely an instruction not to hang about with this other lad is all that is required.

ground son for ever.
At that age only a nobber hangs around with school kids. H eis 18 could go to pubs and clubs and meet adults etc.
Seriously my son would be grounded till the lad was arrested.

Either that or
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Project you may be right but where my kids are involved I would employ extreme caution even bordering on paranoia as I would rather have a false positive than a false negative

does keeping an eye on who there son knocks about with not sound like the easy thing to do?

Tell your mate to do the same as he might do for any friend of his sons whom he may not be comfortable with - meet the fella and ask a few questions about the nature of their relationship - what they have in common etc. Be up front and tell him that he's concerned.
I presume he's discussed it with his son?

Project, not sure where you are going with this but did you miss the bit about "known to the police".

This isn't a troll and I would really appreciate some good advice.

somebody needs to have a very serious word with the 18 yr old. Grounding your friends kid or otherwise will only make matters worse.

Nip it in the bud immediately

yes but you can be

"known to the police"

The lad could be a nonce.

But then again, it could be a case of 'British Isles, PAEDOPH-ISLES!'.

When I was a lad there were one or two older blokes who'd hang around with us. I always just thought they were a bit inadequate and praps not as emotionally/socially developed as they might be expected to be. So they found it easier to be around those who they could dominate and appear more confident than they actually were. I really don't think there was any sexual intent tbh; certainly the girls we hang around with weren't worried.

Your suspicions could be well founded, or you could have it horribly wrong. Be mindful of that, and at least try to find out the facts. Don't go steaming in their cos he could have mental health issues you don't know about. In fact, how much do you or others actually know about him?

How horrific for an 18 year old lad to be branded basicly a pervert, with little hard evidence to back it up,

Basically in a situation like that I wouldn't want to wait for the "hard evidence" to materialise. Why would an 18 year old want to hang around with 14 year olds anyway - what's wrong with mates his age ? Sounds like he's either inadequate or, someone who wants to manipulate weaker more impressionable kids.

would you be happy about your kids hanging out with others 'known to the police' for any reason?

no it does not but I would not be using my own kids as a test subject to find out exactly what illegal activities he plans to do with them /their friends.
ernie nail and head

When I was 17/18 I had 15 year old g/f's, as did many lads - it was no big deal and parents didn't mind as I was respectable and was welcomed into the (also respectable) family homes. Saying that, I wasn't 'known to the Police'.

Actually found out recently through FB that when I was 19 I went on a date with a 14yr old, who I thought was 16 - no sex though.

"Son, I don't want you hanging round with [insert name here]. He's known to the police for kissing younger boys". I'm quite serious - isn't that all it would take?

i would have a word with the 18yr old, telling him that i would be paying him a visit one night if i found out anything dodgy happened.

TheFunkyMonkey, we are on the same wavelength here. Grounding etc can be very counter-productive.

Tazzy, "known to the police" for all the wrong reasons, i.e. not the ones you suggest.

Ernie and JY, I agree. Why would an 18 y/o want to hang around with 14 y/o and under?

Like others have said known to the police means a lot of things,if your freind is wrong/gullable she will ruin thelads life along with alienating her son, who surely knows the facts of life and is able to make his mind up who he chats to, and wghat he gets up to.Its 2011 for gods sake.

I mustg remember never to talk or buy a cup of tea for anyone younger tan myself in future, if that reasoningb is going to be usecd for every meeting.

Tazzy, "known to the police" for all the wrong reasons, i.e. not the ones you suggest.

is this a Known fact or local hearsay by the paedofinder generals, you know the same people that burn down a paediatricians house?

if he's properly know to the rozzers for the reasons you suggest he may well be on a watch list in which case a chat to the local plod may be productive

user-removed - Member

known to the police for ANY reason makes him undesirable in my book and I wouldn't want my kids hanging with those sorts

FFS he is 14 not an adult project.
we all know 14 years old dont do stupid things are not impressionable easily led astray taken in by "cool" people with drink and drugs etc

It is probably the very reason mr socially inept 18 yr old hangs out with them unless he just likes erm kids.
Look no one knows whether he is a proper bad un or just a tool but I would not be letting my kids find out the answer END OFF.

It's tricky...

The 'innocent until proven guilty' part of my brain thinks it's probably nothing - known to police could mean anything (have the police alluded to anything?)

But...

The 'Dad' part of my brain think it's time to scare the 18 yo to death with threats of axes, plastic sheets, shovels, big holes and 1,000 rats.

So on balance perhaps it's time for a 'friendly' word with the 18 yo whilst sharpening an axe / butcher half a pig - preferably whilst some of your biggest mates are around.

The problem is, I've seen 14 yos act like 20 yos and vice versa and as you get older, it gets harder to tell them apart (esp girls). Has the 14 yo had a proper talking to?

FFS we are all adults, and we where all 14 once,

So the lad in question is 18,

maybe at 14, your mates son might want fags, booze, and music, and possibly some where to chill out,

And his new mate has all those things making him cool ( in the eyes of a 14 yr old )

It doesnt make him a

[img] [/img]

Tell your friend to get a grip of the situation, If he was my son it would go something like,

" Do not go near that lad again", "Do you understand "

Treat him like a young adult and he might just act like one.

And being known to the police could mean a world of things

I was "known to the police" as a youth and turned out to be a very well behaved, responsible member of society.

it's nice to know that some of the bastions of fair play and right on-ness on the forum are nasty little bigots who would condemn someone to a life of being labelled a scumbag nonce junky freak based on supposition and rumour. Jeremy kyle would be proud.

When I first started mountain biking I was about 14 and regularly used to ride with a lad who was 18 and had left our school the year before and was taking a year out before uni.
He had a car and none of his mates were into biking, so we used to go off somewhere most weekends.
Often a couple of my mates (same age as me) would come too.

Nobody ever gave this a second thought, or thought it was odd.

It was 25 years ago though, and people were a lot less eager to brand people as a nonce then weren't they ?

Thanks Junkyard. This is *exactly* what the parents are worried about. 18 y/o is telling their son the sort of things he wants to hear. Anything they say, i.e "you're grounded" or "don't hang around with..." is met with, "see, I told you so..."

These guys are genuinely scared. 14 y/o don't come with a hand book. Obviously project you aren't a parent so please foxtrot off as you have nothing to add.

If you want to test your liberalism with your kids then hey you go for it

[img] [/img]

junkyards idol

nealglover, yes very nice. A wonderful tale. Thanks for sharing.

This guys ain't taking kids for a mtb ride in the countryside. Would I have posted otherwise?

I'm 'known to the police' and so is my wife! 😀

Oh no hang on I jolly well have not got a wife...

But if I did have, she'd probbly be known to the police as well! 🙂

OK guys. Let's just assume that there may be some things that I may be keeping back. Let's assume that this isn't a wannabe scout-leader. He's not a thief to my knowledge. Social inadequacy, dunno.

I do know that a serious allegation has been made by a minor. I do know that this guy seems to be very manipulative. I was kind of hoping that the cynics and smart arses might have given this one a miss. Sadly, wrong.

Elfin, **** off there's a good chap.

Anyway, Channel4 now for all concerned parties.

Excellent tazzy - have you run our of responses - oddly i saw him for the first time today at work what a patronising cock.

Again if you want your kids to hang out with mr innadequate 18 yr old known to the police to learn some life lessons you go for it but i would not.
What adults do is the business of adults even if those decision are daft. Where kids are involved they occasionally need the guidance of adults as they are still young ,naive and impressionable- which is again the most likely reason an 18 yr old hangs out with 14 year olds. His peers can see what a cock and waster he is so he needs to manipulate or impress younger people than himself.

You may paradoy me as you wish but as a card carrying PC liberal do gooder and [former]youth worker [ you think kids dont do this all the time with younger impressionable kids?] I dont really care - anything useful to say or to help the OP or do you just wish to have another childish pop at me because I disagree with you?
OP i am leaving the thread and hope you get some actual help

Elfin, **** off there's a good chap.

Why? 😕 Any reason for such rudeness?

I do know that a serious allegation has been made by a minor. I do know that this guy seems to be very manipulative.

So, now you're coming up with more info. Strikes me there's a lot more to this than you're letting on. Unless you give people sufficient info, how d'you expect them to make a fair and reasonable assesment, or be able to offer the right sort of advice?

I can't believe JunkDeLuxe has just done a flouncette. 😯

Who days he's known to the police? The police, or other people? When I was about 13/14 I hung around with lots of older lads, we used to smoke and drink, smoke weed. I think, as others have said they weren't that good around people their own age. However, if he is genuinely known to the police because he's a peodophile it's a totally different game. But is he? At the moment it seems like quite a bit of Chinese whispers.

Why? Any reason for such rudeness?

Just guess elfie, but perhaps because the OP sees this as a serious and worrying subject - and not one to joke about ?

I was in a similar situation at probably a slightly younger age than your son. In hindsight I wish my father had gone around my friends house to speak to their parents and then gone to speak to both the police and the 18 year olds parents. You may not only be saving your son from abuse but also this 18 year old from turning into a proper weirdo. It needs stopping by the weekend.

Excellent tazzy - have you run our of responses - oddly i saw him for the first time today at work what a patronising cock.

Ooh, this one looks interesting...

Just guess elfie, but perhaps because the OP is sees this as a serious and worrying subject - and not one to joke about ?

Well based on the initial info, tbh it seemed little more than parents perhaps being a bit overly concerned and over-protective.

Now, there appears to be other info which for whatever reason the OP decided to keep to themselves initiially.

However, if he is genuinely known to the police because he's a peodophile it's a totally different game. But is he? At the moment it seems like quite a bit of Chinese whispers.

I'm struggling to imagine that the police would knowingly let a 'known paedophile' hang around with kids. In fact if the lad actually had any convictions, then I'm sure there would be all sorts of legal barriers that would prevent him from doing so. The fact there there does not in any way appear to be, may suggest that he's not considered a 'threat'.

Not trying to be obtuse, just trying to understand what might actually be the reality. As are others, who are offering their own experiences of childhood, and suggesting things may not actually be as bad as they seem.

Because personally, I think the truth is what's important here, as unfounded suspicion can lead to all sorts of problems.

Elf. This is not really an appropriate arena for you to demonstrate how clever you are.

I am disclosing as much as I can in order to try and gain some advice. There are some scared people who have asked me for help. I, in turn, not having a ****ing clue what to do am asking the STW Hive Mind for help.

Thanks for your considered opinion. I'll pass it on. I'm sure that it will help.

At the moment it seems like quite a bit of Chinese whispers.

This.

OP, I sympathise with your situation but if you're worried, have a chat with your local bobby about it. There should be contact details for him somewhere you can access. You're never going to get everyone on stw to be fully supportive. Be it through pure truculence or more liberal viewpoints than yours.

Personally, threatening him or organising a lunch mob isn't the answer. Why don't you have a (for want of a better phrase) a man-to-man chat with your lad? Explain your concerns, etc.

If it was such a serious situation, would you really waste time with your child's life, by voicing your concerns on the phone to a friend, i know i wouldn't.

If you have any proof go to the police.

If they don't have any proof, but in the back of their mind they know as a parent somethings not right, then go and have a quite word with the lad concerned, and make him understand he is not to speak to his son again.

[quote=coyote]]nealglover, yes very nice. A wonderful tale. Thanks for sharing.
This guys ain't taking kids for a mtb ride in the countryside. Would I have posted otherwise?

Thanks for the patronising sarcastic bollx reply.
Makes me laugh when people ask for advice, and then slate people who give advice they don't like, or make comments they disagree with???

(if you would like to let me know what you want my opinion to be, I'll try to be more accommodating in future 🙄 )

So, now you are starting to give more details rather than just saying "known to the police" while tapping your nose and winking 🙄

So where did the "known to the police" info come from then ?
From the Police ?
Or local gossip ?

Coyote. If all there is is vague allegations and whispers against this chap then legally there would seem to be little you can do. My guess would be he is a social inadequate hence liking the company of kids.

ground the 14 yr old / talk with him / give him advise.

I don't know what else you could do really

I do know that a serious allegation has been made by a minor

When I was about 16 or so, I was jumped and given a proper kicking by a lad I hung around with, and some other lads, cos his sister claimed I'd touched her up on a youth club trip. I was arrested on suspicion of sexual assault after my mum went to the police to report the beating I'd had (I told her not to). Locked up, questioned repeatedly.

Fortunately loads of people including youth workers made statements backing me up, then the girl admitted she'd made the whole thing up. Turned out she had issues stemming from an event in her childhood which I won't go into. Her brother was in bits at what he'd done to me, but I forgave him as I'd have done the same thing for sure.

I know how it feels to be accused of something so f-ing horrible, to have people think you're proper scum. Even now it makes me angry that I was accused of something I would never do.

Hence why I'm suggesting it might be best to find out as much as poss, and involve the proper agencies, and have some faith at least in the judicial system.

So, forgive me for not making the noises you want to hear.

The thing is a lot of us have bothered to offer advice, based on our experiences of life, and all you have offered is ridicule and telling us we are wrong, life is not like a maths question where its right or wrong, but a mixture of emotions,skills and hopefully people willing to listen and offer advice,sometimes mistakes are made, sometimes the correct route is choosen, thats the strange thing about humans we make mistakes in freindships, thats why there is very accrimonious divorces, or relationship breakdowns. just what dont you understand about that.

I feel so sorry for the lads involved, whatever the outcome its going to have a possibly major effect on their future lives and relationships.

Well that just wasted 5 minutes.

I'd hope my folks would be open and honest about any info regarding someone I knew. Speaking from bitter experience here. Get it in the open and if need be get the police involved.

I find it really sad that people are branded a pervert for, what would appear to be, rumour and gossip. Just imagine you were on the receiving end of such rumour - how would this make you feel? Innocent until proven guilty etc etc.

If you have concerns, talk to your son. You can't talk to the 18 year old - he's done nothing wrong (yet?).

Yes, I am a dad, my kids are 18,20,22 - they hang around with all ages from 15 - 30. I would hate to have the tabloid paranoia that everyone who talks to a youngster is a potential paedo - it's this that makes blokes (and women) ignore crying kids in the supermarket.

Thanks to those who have offered genuine advice. Junkyard, funkymonkey, boxelder, DD and TJ. It is very appreciated despite differences we may have had in the past.

As I said, I can't disclose all the facts as this is a public forum but I'm glad that Elf has had the opportunity to demonstrate his sharp wit. You really are an egomaniacal ****.

If you have concerns, talk to your son

Read the OP. It's not my son.

MODS please close and delete. I was hoping for more.

14 year old boys, friends parents need notifying asap.

18 year old sounds like a social outcast, if not something worse.

personal solution would be a visit to the 18year old to tell him in a sensible manner, he's not to hang round with the 14 year olds anymore.

You have to ask why the 14 year olds want to hang round with him, place to sit off, ciggys, booze, bit of weed? thats the likely reason, 18 year olds reason could be he is socially retarded, or as mentioned, something worse...

Read the OP. It's not my son.

Sorry, had forgotten your OP by the time I wrote my last bit. Hope it works out. Just be calm and measured. Don't do anything to land yourself in a pile of shite.

Has your friend tried being the parent and saying "You wont associate with that human being." ?

Some facts would be handy, don't want to teach the kid that the tabloid approach is the way forward.

Obviously you and your friend may have more facts, but there aren't many here to go on.

It's not unusual to know older/younger people.

Coyote - Member

Thanks to those who have offered genuine advice. Junkyard, funkymonkey, boxelder, DD and TJ. It is very appreciated despite differences we may have had in the past.

Its where STW comes good.

I'm glad that Elf has had the opportunity to demonstrate his sharp wit. You really are an egomaniacal ****.

Pfft.

I've offered my own views on this, as have others who seem to echo my own thoughts, in an attempt to look at the whole picture, rather than making the mistake of being reactionary and blind to the truth, and all you can do is insult me?

You're out of order.

Good night.

Oh, and PS: I hope you're never in a position where you're accused of such horrible things that you haven't done, as I'd not wish that experience on anyone who wasn't deserving of it.

I've offered my own views on this, as have others who seem to echo my own thoughts, in an attempt to look at the whole picture, rather than making the mistake of being reactionary and blind to the truth, and all you can do is insult me?

good lord I agree with ELF 😯

I'd just put a blocker on it mate. I'd tell the 14 year old not to hang around with the 18 year old any more and I'd pay a visit to the 18 year old. Nothing agressive, just 'do you realise how it looks you hanging around 14 year olds. I'd call that stuff off before people get the wrong idea.'

Maybe add a capiche on the end.

What advice do you want? Lots of views have been offered, some of which may reflect your own, but if you are expecting more, more of what exactly?

Project, not sure where you are going with this but did you miss the bit about "known to the police".

This isn't a troll and I would really appreciate some good advice.

Known to the police doesn't mean anything, I'm known to the police for using my phone while driving. If there's no evidence there's no evidence, you've no right to go throwing around accusations and people threatening violence need to get a grip. As someone who's worked with 14-16 year olds and had female ones get odd crushes on them, I can confirm lots of unpleasant accusations get thrown around, even in jest by family/friends, which is funny and fine until someone takes it out of context.

Why cant you give all the information? The forum is public, but your not going to name him.

This would worry me enormously.

i would have a word with the 18yr old, telling him that i would be paying him a visit one night if i found out anything dodgy happened.