Cheers, Karin.
Problem is I don't think support groups for her will achieve anything. She won't go anyway. Plus, the history of suicide I mentioned: her mother committed suicide when the family told her it was AA or nothing. There just doesn't seem to be anything we can do other than watch her kill herself through drink/suicide, whilst at the same time health professionals deem her safe and competent and not a danger to herself or others because she knows how to behave when they interview her.
When someone you love is ill in this way it is natural to feel sorry for them, but they do feed on that, and they feed on the energy they are getting, so the more upset everyone is, the more attention and energy they get. May I suggest that you all bone up on how to deal with this in a way that is helpful to all? If nothing else, you will need help with dealing with the guilt, especially if/when she does top herself.
[url= http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/ ]For people who know someone with drink problems[/url]
[url= http://forum.famanon.org.uk/ ]Families Anonymous[/url]
HTH x
Told the paramedics to jog on and leave her to die, so the GP came out with a view to sectioning her. Acted nice as pie to the GP so he gave her a clean bill of health and left.
So she didn't go to A&E ? It's a shame that she's been a 'clean bill of health' - it does indeed suggest that you're back to square one. And it does highlight what was previously said concerning how difficult it can be to help some people.
I know of someone who was very reluctant to accept help, or even, that they had a serious problem. It took a couple of overdosing attempts, arrests, and all sorts of endless bother, before they were sectioned. Although it was only for a few weeks (can't remember about 2 or 3) it was the best thing that ever happened to them. They were finally, to a great extent, sorted out, and along with a supportive backup team, they have been able for many years to live a very stable life. It's not a completely problem free life, but it's certainly no longer a mess.
Anyway, it must be a constant dark cloud hanging over you Ox, don't give up hope, and I hope the person concerned finally gets the help she clearly needs - even if has to be reluctantly forced upon her.
Hope your stress levels are now reduced Ox. Don't get ill yourself as a result of the problems ashore.
All the best
Mike
When someone you love is ill in this way it is natural to feel sorry for them, but they do feed on that, and they feed on the energy they are getting, so the more upset everyone is, the more attention and energy they get.
this....
one of my aunts was like this. when she was happy she was great fun to be around. then she'd be low and a right bitch. she used to try and drown herself in alcohol. my mum found her slumped in the kitchen witha bottle of pills one time. they rushed her to the hospital (5 minutes down the road) to have her stomach pumped. my mum and another sister asked for a doctor to see her with the view to sectioning her. his question was "if i give you another bottle of pills will you take them" "no". with that the doc was happy for her to go on her way. (i'm not having a go at the doctor(s). they see enough loonies and have enough on their plate, and i honestly think that if someone wants to top themselves, they will). a few up and down years and a few smaller incidents inbetween (again, pills, alcohol, wandering off for a night and a day) and following an argument with her fella (was was and is a top bloke who loved her dearly) she jumped from the landing with the belt form her dressing gown tied to the ballustrade and her neck.
my mum and one of her sisters found their little sister hanging, visible from outside hanging, framed in the hallway.
i think now that, despite the upset at the time, that it was for the best.
she finally took the decision to end it, and i, desite her selfishness, respect her decision.
to the OP... i hope things work out for you and her. fingers crossed.
There's a lot of sound advice being given here. Desperate/depressed people will always seek people who tell them what they want to hear. This means they will drift away from friends who often give the most appropriate responses.
Having been through something like this I'd emphasise the need for everybody, and those not so closely involved, to be educated properly about how to respond to someone like Ox's friend. Tough love is not easy to give.
The other really important thing is that those who are on the frontline of caring need to have support mechanisms. When we had to take care of some of the section several times, we maintained our equilibrium because of people taking care of us. Making sure that we were riding, seen all the good things in our lives, having proper meals etc.
Having done some reading around issues like this it's amazing about how close we all are to the edge. Someone with a clinically diagnosed condition may be exhibiting 7 symptoms (that might seem totally unrelated). I know I and most of my mates have 6!
Good luck Ox, take care of yourself as as well as your friend.