Had to turn down the invite
She made the first move and you..
Had to turn down the invite... puffer weekend innit
..seriously?!
but she seems happy to postpone.
Trust me, she isn't.
Sort it out 😉
I had a good go at it about 13 years ago, pre PoF. I meet an interesting cross section with some good results. One particular nurse I met become so addicted to the whole thing that 13 years on she is still at it 😐 If she ever wrote a book it would be a best seller but I dread to think how many blokes would be running for cover !
I met my missus online but was on a forum (not stw)rather than specifically looking for someone, 5yrs and 2kids later I couldn't be more [s]filled with remorse[/s] happy
bearnecessities, its cool she knew what i was up to, thanks for your concern though 🙂
Whether you met online or offline I don't think you can expect exclusivity after a few dates unless both of you agree to it.
If they go out with friends and score that night it's the same as picking up another date online. Some people are faster to respond than others so you don't even have to be actively looking, they could have expressed an interest before they did so in you, or someone else expresses an interest in you since afterall your profile is available to view. Depending on the site you can possibly see how active they are from when they last logged in or if they've hidden/closed their profile.
In a practical sense though it only gets more difficult to remember what conversations were had with whom and who likes what, so you can't juggle too many options at the same time.
Once I got more experienced at online dating though I had a ball. The main message of my profile was let's meet before we've set too many expectations of each other. It was quite a long time ago and less socially acceptable then, so it should be easier now. Gen Y seem to have no qualms about it at all.
Whether you met online or offline I don't think you can expect exclusivity after a few dates unless both of you agree to it.
Really - i think what it shows is that people have different expectations and the key is to discuss them - some would call that being a "player".
Personally i would not be "trial dating" anyone who thought it ok to cop off with someone else as i am not sure in what sense you are dating tbh.
I accept not everyone agrees and i would prefer to just not "date" those people as they are not for me. Its a free world they can do as they please but i guess it depends on whether you want a relationship or a bit of fun for a bit. the later has less expectations but again its not for me.
I dont really care what others want to do and if you are happy with it fine but you need to be honest from the start.
I joined Tinder to see what that was all about. I liked a load of women and had zero matches in 4 days. I think I am going to give up on this online stuff and concentrate on my bikes.
@Rocketdog - you amateur, I had 3 dates in a day - brunch, lunch and evening on a sunday. All at different `dating pubs' I'd established around the west midlands. It was tough going fitting them in with the driving but the evening one is the now Mrs Scamper 😳 😀
Scamper, does Mrs Scamper know that you're a drink-driving manwhore? 😀
Junkyard, that's fine, we're all entitled to own views, and really since you'd already clearly stated your position my comments weren't really directed at you, but at those who consider there's a threshold where it's acceptable up to a unknown point. I said unless there's agreement, you said it should be honestly discussed, which rather suggests that we both think you can't expect exclusivity until it's communicated.
@ Junkyard & londonerinoz - thanks guys - it does just go to show that different people have different views. I guess I just have to be more upfront about asking in future.
As I mentioned in my original question, I don't think that the guy involved was 'wrong', it was just that I was unaware and so felt a bit caught out when I discovered there were others so far down the line. Have learnt my lesson 🙂
I have only ever got to meet girls through online dating. My most recent (if you have seen my breakup thread) was on PoF. I instantly knew she was genuine, and she only answered to my second message. We chatted for 4 days and then decided to meet. Thought she was the one - still do - but it's only a one way street at the minute. I also meet my first girlfriend who I was engaged too and was with for 6 1/2 years on Faceparty.
I don't think I could ever try online dating again.
Maybe it's not for you currently st colin, but in these palpably hard times for you, maybe consider for the future that you've actually been quite successful in forming long term relationships from online dating rather than negating yourself.
you said it should be honestly discussed, which rather suggests that we both think you can't expect exclusivity until it's communicated
I think you can if you pick correctly tbh, that said yes I checked so you are probably correct.
flower its a bumpy road but worth it in the end, live and learn
I am more surprised he asked you as his back up plan. Did he really expect a wow that would be lovely - IMHO you dodged a bullet there so be grateful.
@Flowerpower, never thought to search your username, i will now go away and have a stalk :lol:.
There's lots....... None that appear to be that far north though 😉
Maybe I need help with my profile - come on guys what appeals to 40 something, chilled out, male mtbers / kayakers / snowboarders (plaese don't get this thread locked )
As someone who has dated a few outdoorsy types I would say someone who isn't trying to compete with men all the time. As in trying to out kayak, out snowboard or out ride you 24/7. Who doesnt drink like one of the guys and whom consequently gets a bit rapey. Who's idea of ckoseness isn't a slap on the back whilst calling you "mate". Basically not someone who may as well have a cock.
It gets tiring after a while.
The more I read these threads the more I analyse myself and decide I am best off on the shelf - geez its a minefield. Cant say id pat a guy on the back instead of hug him, or feel the need to drink at their pace, but conversly when I ride with men I want to feel I can keep up, sometimes I may be quicker (are we then supposed to slow down and ride 10 paces behind)
No. I mean going out of your way to be faster even if it means riding beyond your ability and/or getting in a huff if you get beaten.
Basically if you want someone chilled out don't be ultra competitive.
Copy and paste is the easiest way to get a date on them sites especially pof.
Don't go into detail with your message just keep it short and simple for the first. Especially as you'll only get one reply to every 5 messages. Most women on them sites are punching way above their weight, wanting tall, dark and rich, they then get used by these guys and end up back on them sites crying saying all blokes are c**** 😆
copy and paste, just change the names 😆
Pof is like a cattle market, you'll deffo get a few jumps out of it! 😉
Date is on for tomorrow night.
Had a date last night. 3rd time of meeting, but first proper date, met her on PoF liked her on the basis that according to her photos at least, she was weatherproof!
Spent £40 for the privilege of us being shouted at by a "singer" in a foreign language at a Celtic Connections gig. We left after an hour with the "singer" highlighting our departure to the audience, at least my date saw the funny side of it!
Basically if you want someone chilled out don't be ultra competitive.
I am who I am, and I'm not going to stop drinking pints just to get a date 😉
I do understand what you are trying to say, but this isn't about who you are, most of us on this thread are capable of holding down a relationship when they meet the right person... this is about how to dodge the bullets ( as Junkyard so aptly put it) of the online dating game.
You can try doing what this guy did, [url= http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2014/01/how-to-hack-okcupid/ ]How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love[/url]
^^ Interesting... but it took 88 dud dates 😕
Speaking as an ex maths geek, getting one date at uni was a hell of an achievement so 88 is inspired. Even if they were duds.
You can try doing what this guy did, How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love
Was going to post that. Clever idea, though I reckon most folk who went on that many dates would probably find someone, what it did do though was increase his visibility to the people he found most attractive and allowed him the opportunity to meet lots of people.
Speaking as an ex maths geek, getting one date at uni was a hell of an achievement so 88 is inspired. Even if they were duds.
You must have been reading applied Maths, a pure maths geek would never waste time with such things....
Genuine LOL at footflaps 😀
@ joshvegas - Good luck 🙂 We'll be expecting an update tomorrow 😀
The date was lastnight! Went quite well! I took the piss she retaliated second date on the cards 🙂
Good stuff. We (me and Mrs GD) met online nearly eight years ago. I have not yet become 'under the patio dweller' more a testament to her patience I suspect.
Went on FS, POF and Match for 4 weeks. Had 5 'coffees'. 5th coffee was a massive hit! We both deleted our profiles within 2 days - blissfully happy. Fingers crossed for future. We're at about 7 'dates in', First 'coffee' date lasted 6 hours!
Surroundedbyhills... Did Ms Juliana Klein not tick any boxes? We must compare notes! It's a small world...
Is 'coffees' a euphemism given the quotes?
6hours of 'coffee' is going some
6 hour coffee is surely a good regular 'coffee' plus an 'espresso' before you leave?
So what did you do for the other 5hrs55mins?
I think Singletrack should actually start a dating website specifically for cyclists. The market is there. Loads of lovelorn bikers of both sexes looking for that pedalling partner.
A 'coffee' is a chat. 6 hours of chatting means there's something there. It's because neither of us wanted to go home.
Just as a bit of advice to all you 'coffee chatters'. At the end of a successful date, don't just go for a polite peck on the cheek. Aim for the centre! That'll show you're attracted. After the 6 hours I almost went for the cheek, was interrupted by the target mid flight and a course correction was forced upon me. Touchdown!
So what did you do for the other 5hrs55mins?
I can make anything last as long as I want it to... even a coffee!
@Deveron53 - there must be a proliferation of shouty foreign burds at Celtic Connections, I was at the Buika gig.
Thing was the support act was brilliant Maraya Andrade she had a bunch of serious old jazzers (not me...) getting involved, the Buika comes on stage and it was time to leave or commit suicide. 😀 with apologies to any old jazzers out there 😉
Singletrack should actually start a dating website specifically for cyclists
Which one of us do you fancy?
I think Singletrack should actually start a dating website specifically for cyclists. The market is there. Loads of lovelorn bikers of both sexes looking for that pedalling partner.
Here you go, cycling specific speed dating 😉
http://www.hernehillvelodrome.com/friends/speed-dating/
Which one of us do you fancy?
This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me
"SinglesAttractWorld™"
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