[Closed] one bullet, one gun...

If you're taking Bush then I'll take Blair.

clarkson

Charlton Heston 🙂

Me

Tim Westwood, but I fear 7 billion people might beat me to him.

Well this isn't a very nice topic 🙁

Definitely Tony Blair for me 🙂

bikeind. Get at least 3 for the price of one that way 😆

Thank the lord, somebodies already got Clarkson, that gives me a spare, David Cameron it is then.

Well, he's already dead so a bit pointless, but a doctor called Walter Freeman. I'd shoot him in the knee in the hope he'd bleed to death slowly.

Cameron, check!

Blair, check!

Clarkson, Check!

I'll happily take Peter Andre out (not for dinner).

Edit: On second thoughts I would just shoot him in the dick.

If you target Bush, you target the wrong guy in that administration. The real evil rested with Rumsfeld. If I could have one wish, it would be for him to get arrested and tried in the Hague for war crimes.

Wicked neo-cons.

I'd have more of a problem choosing the gun than the person.
P90?
Auto Magnum?
SMLE?
SLR?
Thomson M1A1?
Home made zip gun out of a mini-flare system and a .22LR round?

Morrissey

I could quite calmly take a single shot and walk up to the person who drove me off the road deliberately in 1991 and left me there with a broken spine in two places and punctured lungs amongst other injuries which left me hanging on for 9 hrs till the postman found me the following morning, he left me with life long health issues, but i guess i should be happy to settle for my friends taking a lump hammer to his knee caps whilst i spent 6 months recovering in hospital.

My boss, my bosses boss and my bosses, bosses boss...they'll hafta stand very close all together in a line so my one bullet travels through all of them tho!
Oh yeh and Clarkson 😛

Myleene class

Anyone who says clarkson

I fear I've been robbed of the prime candidate. Thatcher. So in her absense .... Nick Griffin

You're going to need a lot more than just one bullet Houns.

Jordan

Assuming saxon-rider bites the bullet and shoots Rumsfeld prince of torture and sex partner of sadam Hussain that's business done and we are on to killing for pleasure so i'll do Putin.

piers morgan

My sister in-law, evil robbing bitch 😈

Dale Cregan - ensuring it wasn't quick.

Ok...in the spirt of the thread i rescind my previous post so i now nominate my one bullet - one gun for thatcher, yeah i know she's "apparently" dead but i just want to make sure for my own piece of mind.

it seems some people would rather be famous for 15 mins, rather than have their name forever remembered and celebrated for centuries after!

I wanted thatcher to live for ages and ages, and to rot into old age, sat stinking in her own urine and faeces...... 8)

Or maybe Assad. Might reduce the number of kids his regime are killing.

it seems some people would rather be famous for 15 mins, rather than have their name forever remembered and celebrated for centuries after!

I wouldn't expect any thanks for shooting Tony Blair ! It's certainly wouldn't be my motive for doing it. It's a dirty job but someone ought to do it.

Actually, can I change my mind? I've thought of two prime candidates, equally deserving of it! I just can't make up my mind. Michael Gove or Eric Pickles? Hmmmmmm it's a dilemma

somafunk - Member

Ok...in the spirt of the thread i rescind my previous post so i now nominate my one bullet - one gun for thatcher, yeah i know she's "apparently" dead but i just want to make sure for my own piece of mind.

Gun's the wrong tool for this sort of work, you need a hammer, a stake, a bell, a book and a candle, and a spade to bury the remains at a crossroad.

Binners get them to put their heads together.

Gove is an asshole but George Osborne could do with a quick exit too

Bono, the ****!

I take me back and change it for Mark Bridger.
No one knows what poor April Jones went through.
He would be shot somewhere to bleed not bad enough to kill.
he would be sent into a forest.
A pack of hungry wolves will be released.
They will tear the flesh from his bones slowly.

Nigel Farage

Edit
Or
Russell Brand

So hard to decide.

Followed by geldof, bloody do gooders!

Kevin McCloud

Russell Brand

THANK YOU!

Eric Pickles.?
That might take an elephant gun

Paul dacre.

Jordan? That's a lot of people in a country!
How about a lot of people all standing in a line and then use a Barrett .50cal sniper rifle from point blank range with an armour piercing round? You could take a few heads off with that, well in my dreams you could pmsl.

Hitler, assuming the bullet can travel back in time....

Do I really need to say why?

2 lane autobahns, come on,

Break into a bilderberg meeting and take a shot, your'e bound to hit someone who deserves it. 😈

@somafunk -
Your original post got me wondering why someone "deliberately" ran you off the road. Can you share?

Sarah Jessica Parker

Oooh, a time machine and a gun and bullet......so much choice, aaaagh!

Robert Mugabe

yossarian - Member
Sarah Jessica Parker

Neigh. Surely not?

Oooh, a time machine and a gun and bullet......so much choice, aaaagh!

no time machine sorry Doc...

The pope

I'm torn between Henry Kissinger and the Queen; partly because I'm worried with GCHQ watching, I'll get done for treason n that if I mention capping her madge.

So I'd make a trap involving a tight narrow corridor with a naive child from the colonies holding loads of jewels and money as bait, arm both of my potential victims with sweets as a bribe and whoever was 1st to squeeze in for the kill would get it~ ideally, there wouldn't be much in it and I'd get 2 for 1 on my bullet.

Nigel Farage

Yes! That means I can shoot Cold play, gaffer taping them together should do it.

Good call Cha****ng! I wonder how many of the Tory front bench you could take out with a hand grenade at PMQ's? Just a thought

Bashar-al Assad

Robert Mugabe

or the head of Marketing at Giant...can't quite decide

TOWIE, all in a line

.500 Smith & Wesson should take care of at least 6 of em....

God

Simon Cowell though i suspect i would just wound him then pistol whip him

It's always the same issue, too many people to kill and not enough bullets…….

Could you threaten to shoot a knuckle dragger unless he goes and through your kill list?

Local singletrack road up here in galloway, he was well known (we found out afterwards) for scaring his passengers by hooning along it at night with his lights switched off.
I happened to be driving along the road at the wrong place, at the wrong time and he drove straight towards me on the singletrack road so i had to swerve to avoid him, slid on the verge. through a dyke, down an embarkment and hit a massive tree which placed the engine in the footwell of the car and left me kinda squashed in a very small space for 9 hrs till i was found the following day, needless to say he did not stop, did not report it etc. Given the chance with what i continue to live with i'd have absolutely no second thoughts or qualms about using that one bullet, i dunno what that makes me out to be but i was only 19 at the time it happened and if it wasn't for my extreme fitness and muscle condition at the time due to the previous 12 yrs of racing motocross i'd have been kaput without a question.
What my parents and younger brother went through for months was hellish as i was paralysed from the chest down and given no chance of ever walking again till one neurosurgeon (tom russell and his team along with a visiting neurosurgeon from a spinal clinic in the states at the Western General Edinburgh) decided i had nothing to lose by him going in for a 13hr exploratory operation to remove fragments of bone from my spinal cord and fuse most of my spine together along with removal of T6/T9 along with ribs and fitment of a Hartman titanium loop to stabilise what was left.

Needless to say i'd find it very easy to sleep at night if someone gave me a free one time shot with no consequence.

Are we able to line people up?

So making the most of our single bullet 😉

😯

Somafunk we can do a knee cap each if you like.
Anyone up for the elbows?

I'll take the left.

Heather Small

Bollock.

Cheers for the offer zippykona 😀 , my friends (at the time/still do) worked on the fishing boats in the town and ........how's the best way to phrase this without upsetting some of the delicate souls on here?..........they are rather rough about the edges so to speak and definitely not the sort to ****-about with as they are used to working 18 hr days/10 days straight and humphing 50kg sacks of scallops about on deck in all weathers and when they found out what actually happened and why i had crashed they were all to happy to come up an visit me in the spinal unit and gleefully tell me exactly what they did to his kneecaps with a lump hammer......i heard he got moved away to relatives in canada one year later so i guess what goes around comes around....karma and all that stuff eh?.

I'm giving my bullet and gun to somafunk.

my local pub bore. boring opinionated tosser who ruins the place and a bike hater. last week he actually said it should be law to have mud guards on bikes, as if there's nothing else in the world more important be concerned about. . I know this is personal but more important targets are already covered.

Rylan Clark, straight through those ridiculous white teeth 😀

I'm giving my bullet and gun to somafunk.

+1

Next person I see who doesn't indicate properly on a roundabout. Or the one who cuts into the left lane after the 300m marker for their exit on the motorway. Whichever one I see first. BAM!

Wouldn't normally do this but for the email i just received from an anonymous member on here calling me a liar and attention seeker for the above posts. I've scanned a small section of the national press reports that my folks kept at the time to show me afterwards.

There you go...you know who you are ya little weasel - you'd better hope you never venture up this way 😉 .

I'm not lying, some reports are 7 hrs, some 6 hrs, others are 9hrs. I crashed at 12.30am at night, postman found me after 9am in the morning, i remember this as i had just driven very drunken friends home from the pub and was on my way back into the town, i remember exactly what happened as "Led Zeppelin - over the hills and far away" came onto the stereo and i vividly remember looking down and thinking "****g ace song!" and as i looked up i made out a car coming towards me as my headlights picked it out, i swerved to avoid it and the rest is a kinda blur....but i do remember the first few bars of that song playing over and over and over in my head.

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the email i just received from an anonymous member on here calling me a liar and attention seeker

That's certainly ranking pretty highly on the 'wierd behaviour that I've heard about today' list 😯

I'll give my gun and bullet to Kenny so that he can protect himself from the stalker.. 😕

No one.

Sending nasty anonymous emails to people? Yep. I'd say you're entirely justified there fella. I can just imagine the socially inadequate little spod who'd do that. Though shooting would be a bit quick, to be honest.

Bloody awful experience fella. Glad you came out the other end of it ok.

Elvis

Don't worry binners .... I'm perfectly ok these days, well as ok as i'll ever be. First thing i do every morning when i wake up is to take a minute or so to go over stuff in my head, wiggle my toes and remember just how ****g lucky i am to have another chance at it....and then as the day progresses i revert back to our natural human nature and moan, curse and whinge just like everyone else 😀