[Closed] one bullet, one gun...

@somafunk -
Your original post got me wondering why someone "deliberately" ran you off the road. Can you share?

Sarah Jessica Parker

Oooh, a time machine and a gun and bullet......so much choice, aaaagh!

Robert Mugabe

yossarian - Member
Sarah Jessica Parker

Neigh. Surely not?

Oooh, a time machine and a gun and bullet......so much choice, aaaagh!

no time machine sorry Doc...

The pope

I'm torn between Henry Kissinger and the Queen; partly because I'm worried with GCHQ watching, I'll get done for treason n that if I mention capping her madge.

So I'd make a trap involving a tight narrow corridor with a naive child from the colonies holding loads of jewels and money as bait, arm both of my potential victims with sweets as a bribe and whoever was 1st to squeeze in for the kill would get it~ ideally, there wouldn't be much in it and I'd get 2 for 1 on my bullet.

Nigel Farage

Yes! That means I can shoot Cold play, gaffer taping them together should do it.

Good call Cha****ng! I wonder how many of the Tory front bench you could take out with a hand grenade at PMQ's? Just a thought

Bashar-al Assad

Robert Mugabe

or the head of Marketing at Giant...can't quite decide

TOWIE, all in a line

.500 Smith & Wesson should take care of at least 6 of em....

God

Simon Cowell though i suspect i would just wound him then pistol whip him

It's always the same issue, too many people to kill and not enough bullets…….

Could you threaten to shoot a knuckle dragger unless he goes and through your kill list?

Local singletrack road up here in galloway, he was well known (we found out afterwards) for scaring his passengers by hooning along it at night with his lights switched off.
I happened to be driving along the road at the wrong place, at the wrong time and he drove straight towards me on the singletrack road so i had to swerve to avoid him, slid on the verge. through a dyke, down an embarkment and hit a massive tree which placed the engine in the footwell of the car and left me kinda squashed in a very small space for 9 hrs till i was found the following day, needless to say he did not stop, did not report it etc. Given the chance with what i continue to live with i'd have absolutely no second thoughts or qualms about using that one bullet, i dunno what that makes me out to be but i was only 19 at the time it happened and if it wasn't for my extreme fitness and muscle condition at the time due to the previous 12 yrs of racing motocross i'd have been kaput without a question.
What my parents and younger brother went through for months was hellish as i was paralysed from the chest down and given no chance of ever walking again till one neurosurgeon (tom russell and his team along with a visiting neurosurgeon from a spinal clinic in the states at the Western General Edinburgh) decided i had nothing to lose by him going in for a 13hr exploratory operation to remove fragments of bone from my spinal cord and fuse most of my spine together along with removal of T6/T9 along with ribs and fitment of a Hartman titanium loop to stabilise what was left.

Needless to say i'd find it very easy to sleep at night if someone gave me a free one time shot with no consequence.

Are we able to line people up?

So making the most of our single bullet 😉

😯

Somafunk we can do a knee cap each if you like.
Anyone up for the elbows?

I'll take the left.

Heather Small

Bollock.

Cheers for the offer zippykona 😀 , my friends (at the time/still do) worked on the fishing boats in the town and ........how's the best way to phrase this without upsetting some of the delicate souls on here?..........they are rather rough about the edges so to speak and definitely not the sort to ****-about with as they are used to working 18 hr days/10 days straight and humphing 50kg sacks of scallops about on deck in all weathers and when they found out what actually happened and why i had crashed they were all to happy to come up an visit me in the spinal unit and gleefully tell me exactly what they did to his kneecaps with a lump hammer......i heard he got moved away to relatives in canada one year later so i guess what goes around comes around....karma and all that stuff eh?.

I'm giving my bullet and gun to somafunk.

my local pub bore. boring opinionated tosser who ruins the place and a bike hater. last week he actually said it should be law to have mud guards on bikes, as if there's nothing else in the world more important be concerned about. . I know this is personal but more important targets are already covered.

Rylan Clark, straight through those ridiculous white teeth 😀

I'm giving my bullet and gun to somafunk.

+1

Next person I see who doesn't indicate properly on a roundabout. Or the one who cuts into the left lane after the 300m marker for their exit on the motorway. Whichever one I see first. BAM!

Wouldn't normally do this but for the email i just received from an anonymous member on here calling me a liar and attention seeker for the above posts. I've scanned a small section of the national press reports that my folks kept at the time to show me afterwards.

There you go...you know who you are ya little weasel - you'd better hope you never venture up this way 😉 .

I'm not lying, some reports are 7 hrs, some 6 hrs, others are 9hrs. I crashed at 12.30am at night, postman found me after 9am in the morning, i remember this as i had just driven very drunken friends home from the pub and was on my way back into the town, i remember exactly what happened as "Led Zeppelin - over the hills and far away" came onto the stereo and i vividly remember looking down and thinking "****g ace song!" and as i looked up i made out a car coming towards me as my headlights picked it out, i swerved to avoid it and the rest is a kinda blur....but i do remember the first few bars of that song playing over and over and over in my head.

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the email i just received from an anonymous member on here calling me a liar and attention seeker

That's certainly ranking pretty highly on the 'wierd behaviour that I've heard about today' list 😯

I'll give my gun and bullet to Kenny so that he can protect himself from the stalker.. 😕

No one.

Sending nasty anonymous emails to people? Yep. I'd say you're entirely justified there fella. I can just imagine the socially inadequate little spod who'd do that. Though shooting would be a bit quick, to be honest.

Bloody awful experience fella. Glad you came out the other end of it ok.

Elvis

Don't worry binners .... I'm perfectly ok these days, well as ok as i'll ever be. First thing i do every morning when i wake up is to take a minute or so to go over stuff in my head, wiggle my toes and remember just how ****g lucky i am to have another chance at it....and then as the day progresses i revert back to our natural human nature and moan, curse and whinge just like everyone else 😀

Heather Small

Steady on- you're talking about the woman I love

I'd shoot Thatcher [i]again[/i], you can't be too careful.

Anyone I think should not walk this earth ... I judge.

But I also like to torture first particularly to those back stabbers ...

Maggots! Deserve to be fertiliser as soon as possible.

I am trying very hard to think of those that I should not squash like a maggot but I am failing big time.

Its hard to top that somafunk. You can have my gun and bullet if required. Hold it upside down though for extra kudos.

I can just imagine the socially inadequate little spod who'd do that.

Thats well up the tragic scale that is

aye he can have my gun but i want it back to hit cowell with it

Cheers peeps, there is the odd nutjob on this forum that pops up occasionally but by and large one of the reasons i've been a regular on here since it's inception (i used to post as "kenny" before the big hack) is the general decentness of the forum posters involved.

Glad to see i've garnered a few +1's for my thatcher comment, we kids who grew up in the 1980's alongside our parents who struggled through that time need to stand together....... we'd have to dig her up to shoot her though?......... 😀

I can't think who I would like to kill but willingly give gun and bullet to Somafunk.

I've had death threats. Obviously I was bricking it, as I felt that the kind of cold blooded psychopath who wanted to murder me would achieve this by the medium of an anonymous email

You'd be foolish to assume that it was just some bitter maladjusted bedwetter, who in reality wouldn't say boo to you without soiling themselves

Death threats ... eerrmm ... why do people use death threats?
Do they work? Why don't they just do it? Save so much energy and time.

😈

we'd have to dig her up to shoot her though?.

Thatcher was cremated. A vacuum cleaner might be more appropriate than a bullet.

we'd have to dig her up to shoot her though?.

Why shoot dead people?

Shoot live ones, save earth, reduce the maggot population.