[Closed] OMG! You don't know just what happened...

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As funny as toothache. A-hole.

Aw come-on, I thought it was funny. 😀

i loled.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker?

[url= http://www.instantrimshot.com/ ]He got a no-bell prize.[/url]

nice tits 🙂

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We haven't had a forum retard for a while.

Sorry, was I supposed to laugh?

Take no notice Cherie, they're just being mean 🙁

[i]We haven't had a forum retard for a while.[/i]

It was a joke FFS. Remove the broom handle from your arse.

Remove the broom handle from your arse.

for some of us that's as jiggy as it gets ...

[i]It was a joke FFS. Remove the broom handle from your arse. [/i]

I laughed more at BoardinBob's post than the OP's post 😀

I thought the choice of crime was in bad taste, that's all. Enjoy the weekend.

Funny! you guys need to lighten-up a bit FFS. Nice one SC

Alex

Some recognition, at last. 😀

Oh dear, it's not just the completely rotten joke, it's the disasterous delivery, a killer combo.

Get over it Northwind, at least I posted a joke. Why don't you post one? Eh?

I just told a mate that joke and he didn't get why you were arrested...

Slaps face...

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ha!

I thought this was slightly amusing:

"Get over it Northwind, at least I posted a joke. Why don't you post one? Eh?"

OK then. Descartes is in a bar. The barman asks "Do you want another drink?" Descartes says "I think not!" then vanishes.

....at least I posted a joke. Why don't you post one? Eh?

You're new around here Cherie, eh ? Let me explain .......

[i]Most[/i] people won't post jokes on here, for the simple reason that it gets the sort of reaction which you got. It's a brave person indeed, who risks the ridicule and inevitable attempts to have their jokes carbon dated.

The only exceptions are 'Tommy Cooper' type jokes. In the case of 'Tommy Cooper type jokes' these jokes are considered to be hilariously funny [i]precisely[/i] because of their staggering age.

HTH

OK then. Descartes is in a bar. The barman asks "Do you want another drink?" Descartes says "I think not!" then vanishes.

Northwind are you Ben Elton?

[i]The only exceptions are 'Tommy Cooper' type jokes. In the case of 'Tommy Cooper type jokes' these jokes are considered to be hilariously funny precisely because of their staggering age.[/i]

I've yet to find a Tommy Cooper joke thats even moderately amusing never mind "hilariously funny". That's probably leaving myself open for flaming but personally I found the guy about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and then finding out there's a gas bill attached to it.*

On the other hand the OP's joke wasn't bad. 🙂

* joke courtesy of Blackadder (and therefore funny).

+1 for Northwind's joke.

Made me smile, but the delivery wasn't all that good.

Work on your technique!
😉

Ernie - I don't mind being ridiculed, it's all a laugh at the end of the day. I don't take these things so seriously, in fact, I rather enjoy the banter. 😀

I've yet to find a Tommy Cooper joke thats even moderately amusing

😯 * speechless *

I nipped into a cafe today for some food. It had a sign in the window saying 'Breakfast served at any time', so i ordered French Toast during the Renaissance...

I Loled @ gizzardman! 😆

Me too! 🙂

Two statistitians go hunting.
They walk long and hard hours and finaly get to a pond with a duck swimming on the top of it.
The first one load his rifle, aim and shoot. It's a miss about 3 foot on the left.
The second load his rifle, aim and shoot. It's another miss by about 3 foot on the right.
Then they stare at each other smile, high five and say
"Wicked we got it"
😛

calltaker: 911 Emergency, which service do you require?

caller: I'm hunting with my friend, and I shot him accidentally!!

calltaker: Ok sir, check if he's dead?

caller: rustling noise, then BANG.....Right, what do I do now?

1) "I slept like a log last night. Woke up in the fireplace!"

2) "That's a very old violin you are playing"
"I gave Yehudi Menuhin!"

TC rules! 🙂

Notlocal that was soooo wrong - but I laughed...

Have we worked out who SC is yet?

Have we worked out who SC is yet?

What dya mean worked out who SC yet? 😀

We mean you're a tragic alias

Explain tragic.

On a slight tangent...there was a story years ago that the police used a picture of Nigel Benn for a wanted poster as there was a criminal who looked like him. Unfortunately, based on the poster, someone tried to tackle Nigel Benn and got punched for their trouble.

As I sat in the living room my 5 year old shouted at me from the back door.

' I can't hear you if you're shouting from outside,' I said.

Again, he shouted back.

'I told you, I can't hear you from there. It's rude to shout. If you want me to hear you, walk into the living room' I replied.

A few moments later my son appeared in the living room.

'Dad, I've got dog shit all over my shoes.'

Two men just finish a long round of golf, shake hands and begin walking off before one of the men says curiously, "I'm not meaning to sound rude, but what's in that case you've been carrying all the way round?"

The other guy replies, "Oh, I'm a hitman."

"Whoa, cool! What's in the case then?"

The hitman pauses for a second, and then takes out a very large gun, which he assembles in front of the man. Once finished, he hands it to the man, who begins to look through the scope.

"Wow, I can see for miles. Oh and there's my house! I can even see my bedroom. Oh, and there's my wife in there... with… with another man!!!"

He angrily turns to the hitman and says, "How much do you charge?"

The hitman replies, "A thousand per shot."

So the guy thinks to himself for a second, and finally says, "Right, I'll have two shots. One at that man's dick, and one at my wife's head."

So he hands the gun back to the hitman, who aims and steadies himself for the first shot.

After about a minute, the angry guy says, "What's taking so long?"

The hitman replies, "I could save you a grand here..."

LOLling* at tazzymtb

*ish

only clean jokes i know...sorry

I'm disappointed in RudeBoy, SaboteurCherie is one of his worst efforts

That's B.S. I have already met a couple of STW folk for a ride on Sat, but believe what you like.

Two roundabouts sitting in a pub having a drink. In comes a zebra crossing and starts to pester the roundabouts for a drink. They cave in and buy him a drink. A subway then comes in and the zebra crossing starts to pester him for a drink, finally giving in and buys him a pint.

A foot wide strip of tarmac then comes in walks over to the bar. Whisky barmen and make it snappy. It gets its drink pays and leaves.

The barmen remarks to the Zebra crossing that he didn't pester him for a drink.

The Zebra Crossing replies[i] Don't mess with him he's a CYCLE PATH![/i]

Shamely enough inbred456's joke made me laugh

Its a younger simonfbarnes?

Do you mind ?
1) I am not a girl
2) I don't do jokes