[Closed] Ok how to learn 'gravitas'

I find by eating more cake I create more gravitas.

Or is that gravity?

Shout a lot and buy a bigger audi

In speaking situations? Or something else?

If in speaking, the key is to slow down. Take your time. Think about each word, phrase and sentence as you develop them in your mind, before you deliver them from your mouth. Stop. Take a drink of water. Think again. Then speak.

a white one?

reference main board (non exec and chairman).

Yeah Q7 and make lewd remarks when you walk in the office. And get really fat and wear a pinstripe suit. Job jobbed

Find the biggest man in the room then kick him square in the balls. As he goes down stand on his throat. Then proclaim that everyone is your bitch now.

We are talking about prison, right?

main board (non exec and chairman).

Know your numbers.
Take your time.
Know what you want to get out of it.
Take your time.
Understand where what you want and what they want overlap, and where they diverge.
Take your time.
Finally, perhaps the hardest piece, have confidence in what you're saying. Gravitas, seriousness, whatever, it all comes from confidence.

Oh, and take your time.

Shout a lot and buy a bigger audi

If you did the opposite of this you'd be halfway there

Do a Winston Churchill impersonation

When talking use fewer words and even fewer hand gestures- none in fact. If you act as if people need to oay attention to you, rather than you need to get people's attention, you'll be surprised at how much they start to take you seriously

Maybe lose the red nose and the big shoes?

I reckon it’s easier to think in terms of what not to do, than what to do

Don’t ALWAYs put yourself down... don’t be ALWAYS be the class idiot... don’t ALWAYS turn stuff into a joke etc

Similarly, don’t ALWAYS try to have gravitas

Act like CFH, he thinks he knows what he’s doing.

Once you master that, next class is probably funny handshakes.

Try writing down their order and go to pret, not Gregg's

Wear more black polo-neck jumpers. Steeple your fingers.

Take the battery out of your bow tie

Act like CFH, he thinks he knows what he’s doing.

Haha!

Does that come with pay rise.

That's tricky. I would certainly concur with CFH's advice; behaving in this way will give you more [i]gravity[/i], whether it gives you [i]gravitas[/i] is altogether different.

For me, to truly have gravitas you need an absolute conviction in what you believe and say and not give a f*** what anyone else thinks.

In my workplace (aerospace) we have an senior engineer; highly competent, highly educated. He picks his words with care, speaks slowly and deliberately and if he doesn't know he'll say so. Most of all he can be relied upon to state [i]his honest opinion[/i]. This will often turn the spotlight onto his management or other departments / individuals (and I don't mean in a blaming way - just stating facts). Nobody ever interupts him, and everyone has the highest respect for him. He also happens to be extremely (independently of work) wealthy. Personally I believe this gives him a freedom to speak his mind that few enjoy. The irony being that because he doesn't need the job, he's very good at it.

I quite like this definition:
'Gravitas: My notion of gravitas (and I know there are different views) is that it is the external evidence of a deeply held conviction that the individual is totally competent to do what is expected of them and handle anything that comes their way, without feeling the need to prove themselves.'

Few people in today's workplace are able to live up to that level of integrity.

On a more practical note - I'd ask the feedbacker to be a little more specific

Talk like TED

It's good geoffj and I enjoyed his parody. The guy is certainly clever, knows the tricks and can work the audience.

But does he have gravitas?

When somebody speaks to you, let them finish then pause for five to ten seconds whilst staring them straight in the eye. Then say, "So what you're saying is...", summarize what they just said, and finish up with, "So what are the consequences of that with regard to (insert irrelevant topic of your choosing)?"

Or, when someone speaks, choose a keyword from their topic and declare "That's a very interesting word. Let's unpack that word." Then blather on about the etymology of the word and how it came to arrive at its current meaning."

People will leave you alone if you do these things.

It sounds to me as though your Line Manager wanted to say 'serious' but used a suggested synonym from Word. Useful feedback should give clear direction on what the individual wishes you to achieve. Go back to them and request clarity.

A good start would be to stop wearing that Wallace and Gromit tie

Basically just act like Darth Vader from that space general meeting scene in the first Star Wars. Choking somebody and wearing a bitchin helmet and cape combo are optional. A quid says that the word gravitas was only used because it was the word of the day on one of those little calendars.

For me it's all about lots of attributes. Yes, speaking slowly can be one of them, but if what you say is bollox, then all you're doing is talking bollox more slowly...

Confidence - in yourself and what you do. Not in an arrogant way, but with humility and understanding.
Content - when you do speak, make sure it's relevant and comes from a place of applied knowledge (I.e. wisdom)
Behaviour - be fair and reasonable with all you deal with. Be professional and conduct yourself as such.
There is also a rather large portion of 'je ne sais quoi', in other words, it comes naturally to a person, they possess that inner air of knowing who they are, what they do, why they do it and as such, have an aura of authority.

The mere fact that you're googling and asking on here would suggest that you would do well to look within.

Hiya, Boris. Hiya, pal!

In the building world it usually requires liberal use of the f word. That's ****ed, you've ****ed up,we're ****ed, what the **** is that, how the **** am i supposed to etc etc

fewer hand gestures- none in fact.

Not particularly safe for work...but this teaches you everything you need to know about gravitas.

Gravitas isn't a 'thing' - it's something others perceive, so it's about how you come across. Obvious first step is to ask what they think you're missing.

I think key elements are capability, integrity, communication, confidence, listening skills, empathy and, regrettably, looking the part.

No hand gestures? I’m screwed then. I use them when on the phone. According to that well respected scientific journal Urban Dictionary hand gestures are an integral part of having gravitas

Man Fist
The act of raising a tightly-clenched fist to the sky, while speaking, in order to add gravitas or emphasis to said speach.
Jon raised his Man Fist to the sky and declared that he would, "kick Steve so hard in the balls, his mom would feel it!".

You can't learn gravitas. You either have it or you don't. You can read books about body language, how to project yourself etc. and you might fool some people for a short period of time, but you wont be able to keep it up for long as its not your natural personality trait and as soon as the illusion starts to slip you'll lose credibility ant it'll all backfire on you.

Just best to be yourself. Those with gravitas are not necessarily any better or worse at things as anyone else - gravitas has nothing to do with the individuals ability.

Whenever I meet someone and extend my hand to shake theirs and they offer their hand to me palm side down I immediately think 'Dick' and 9 times out of 10 they are. they've obviously read the book about how to shake hands in an assertive manner. I'm quite happy to offer up a limp wristed hand shake to counter their knuckle crushing domineering 'don't mess with me' hand shake. Knock yourself out buster.

It's deceptively simple TBH - only 4 ingredients. Just go easy on the dill, as getting the balance without overpowering the fish is crucial.

Do not attempt to overpower the fish. This may result in a blocked airway and / or cardiac arrest

That was just perfect. Internet high 5.

huckleberryfatt - Member
Take the battery out of your bow tie

That is the funniest thing I've heard all day. But it's only 8.30.

My mate is a rugby playing geezer with a face like Stan Laurel and a wicked sense of humour. He's also an undertaker. If he can do it, anyone can. Consider your words and nod, like the dog in the advert for insurance. But with words.

You can't learn gravitas. You either have it or you don't

In that case there's no point giving feedback that someone needs to work on it.
Actually, there isn't a lot of point in work based feedback anyway, I've found. You need to work on changing your personality. Er, but it's my personality.

this is gravitas done to perfection

It’s like 1993 in here.

Any other PopPsyc “I can change your personality in 10 days” aficionados care to share more of this because for the MrMagoos of the world they’d be most interested, f’o S’sho.

Lesson one: never start a sentence with "Ok...".

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