[Closed] Odd neighbour's behaviour...

And there was me thinking you'd spotted a terrorist.................:-)

Buy her some flowers and ask her if she'd mind you using her private parking space when she's not using it as you know how much it annoys her when you park on the road. 🙂

LOL - I honestly think she would stab me in the eye if I tried anything like that.

[/i]I explained as politely as I could that, as it is a public road, I could choose to park where I want[i]

If that applies to you, that also applies to her. If her behaviour is bugging you, maybe you parking there was bugging her the same.
May be worth taking a bottle around and asking where would she suggest you park. She may calm down and say in front of her house is a good idea 😉

Buy an old banger for £50 with a years road tax and mot.

Park it opposite her house as soon as the space is free and leave it there.

You're not the only one! I was in a similar situation.. Neighbours have a double gate that is hidden as two fence panels, so had no idea it was a drive. I moved, as I wasn't aware of it being a drive, and also asked if he permission to use it as a drive, to which there was no answer. Now he parks his vectra halfway over his hidden drive, taking up 2 spaces (he has a total of 6 spaces for 4 cars).

Idiotic neighbours are everywhere! 😀

I am quite sure my parking there was bugging her, but unfortunately there is very little I can do about it. I did ask her where she suggested I leave it and the answer was 'outside someone elses house - anywhere, just not outside mine'.

I don't care that she is parking outside her house [i]per se[/i], just that she is doing it purely to stop me from parking there and her behaviour is just cutting her own nose off to spite her own face.

No doubt I will get over the event long before she does.

Why have two cars?

Why have two cars?

Why not?

I like all my neighbours. We have BBQs and sherry and wave at each other.

*skips away in bucolic bliss*

Why have two cars?

No, seriously, I need one as I have my own business which means travelling to see clients regularly and my wife has one as she works (well worked until recently) and needed it to get to and from there.

I like all my neighbours. We have BBQs and sherry and wave at each other.

Or maybe it is us that are weird?....

sounds very familiar.. I live in a very similar farm terraced cottage and have a neighbour just like yours. only she refuses to park outside her house but scowls at anyone who parks there even though she is the one parking right in the middle of the extra spaces at the end of the houses. she even moved her wheelie bin out into the middle of her (unused) parking space.

I just smile and say "hello" whenever I see the sad woman before she has the chance to skuttle off and blank me like she seems to do to the rest of the world.

littlesthobo - I think bottling her would be too harsh 😕

why do so many people think they own the road outside their house? You cannot reason with these people IMHO

she even moved her wheelie bin

How much does it cost for skip hire?
😉

(No, I am not going to be drawn into a petty t!t-for-tat on this really).

I do get territorial when it's you buggers coming up here to ride on the hills and you're too tight to pay the £2 parking fee to park on the other side of the road.

I blame STWers. Bastids.

🙂

Dr Crippen her?

Paint a parking box on the road with "Dcotor's Parking Only" written next to it. Then make a up a fake "Doctor on Call" board for the dash 🙂

Why not restrict your cars to the space that you have to park them in like in Japan?

🙂

As GW does, be overley nice to her and it will send her into an early grave. I have had a dissagreement with a neighbour over parking their car on our shared private road (They gave my 2.5yr old son at the time a telling off for riding his bike near it when i had my back turned). It got to the point of arguing etc and then the police. Then i realised that they are fat chavs and i dont want to waste any energy bothering with them. My son is now 6 and i had loads of kids doing jumps on a ramp i had built for them last night. Neighbours must have been spitting feathers as the run off ended with the kids having to skid before hitting their car.

Because I have a TT

You had my sympathy until you said that! 😀

Unfortunately, there are tossers everywhere. And, though we all feel we have some kind of ownership over the tarmac outside our house, our ownership actually ends at the wall (unless you live on a private road of course). Any ****er has the right to park there as long as the car is taxed...there's nowt you can do about it. She's obviously not got too much to be worried about if your car is spoiling her view. Ignore and move on.

order a large skip to be delivered to her parking bay

Aah, neighbours and parking spaces, always fun 🙂

We have a similar situatuion with a 'mad old coot' who insists on making sure she's got 5ft of space either side of her battered old micra because she's "not very good at manouvering and it's not fair"...and woe betide anyone who dares park outside her house when she's out driving. It's "her space" and everyone else should just "bugger off somewhere else".

I gave up trying to be polite when she demanded I move my car (this was while I was halfway through a turbo trainer session, pouring with sweat and gasping for breath) 2 car lengths down the road so she could park outside her front door...rather than just park there herself and walk the extra 4 footsteps

Oh - for comedy value alone, stratobiker's suggestion is definately the way forward!

I had a similar thing this weekend, must be Easter or something!

We have 1 allocated parking space in front of our garage which is away from the house and in a row.
The end garage belongs to a rented house who also had about 3 off road parking spaces plus the garage and the space in front.
The guy who rented the house was a cyclist and we became friendly and he then said it was OK to park my car if I ever needed to in one of his spaces as he never used the 4 spaces he had.

Anyway he has since moved out and the property has become empty.

On Friday I had a friend staying and to save any issues with my friend parking in the wrong place I moved my car into one of the empty 4 spaces that belonged to the rented house so my friend would park into my empty space.
Once he arrived we were off and not coming back till late so my car would only be in this space for an hour or so until he arrived and I thought, if it was an issue, anyone would know it was my car and see me to move it rather than a random car that nobody knows who it belongs to.

Anyway my neighbour who has nothing to do with any of this comes out and tells me I shouldn't be parking in the rented house space. I point out to her that it is only for an hour and that the rented house is empty. She proceeds to give me a lecture about how we don't want to upset the guy who owns the rented property and that I should call him and ask if it's OK to use the space and maybe rent the use of it - FFS it was for an hour!!

I also know the guy who owns the house and he knows me, he is a friendly guy and would tell me if I needed to move my car IF he turned up on Good Friday morning.

I smiled nicely, nodded when required and agreed to the rubbish she is trying to tell me!! Went inside, didn't move the car, didn't call the owner and everything was fine. Why people have to get involved I don't know!!

"Because I have a TT and my wife is expecting twins which won't fit"

Are you sure there yours? As last time i checked only men who liked other men drove TT's.

Please don't come and park your car in front of my house. I don't think i could take the stress!

Ignore and move on.

To be fair, if she did normally park her car on the road or had two cars, I would have respeced the space as 'hers' a bit more, but as it has always been an unused space I saw no reason in it being used.

Neighbours are funny things.

We thankfully currently get on with our current neighbours (hard to fall out with a 99year old and a lovely family the other way).

But our old neighbour was downright odd, nasty and horrible. After we started having problems it transpired she had fallen out with most of the other neighbours across the way and alongside, and previous occupiers to ourselves.
It started with bickering about cleaning the shared passageway (apparently I was only allowed to brush out 'our' half, and it had to be done the day she did 'her' half...) disagreements over repairing rotten and leaking gutters and the fact that we painted our windows a different colour to hers(!), became our garden fence being torn out and friends shouted at when they came to visit, and ended up with my pregnant wife and pregnant friend being threatened - and then her daughter trying to batter our doors and windows in one night. We ended up having to call the police, which they (rightfully) said was a waste of their time to sort out neighbourly disputes.
I will never understand the lady involved, or why she felt the need to be so nasty to us, friends and neighbours.

I live in a village and the road pinches down to single and bends outside my house. I have no off-road parking so I park further up the road where the road is wide and straight. We have a recently moved-in neighbour who has off-street parking but won't use it. If one of us goes out for an hour he will come out and move his car to directly opposite his front gate. Every time. How we laugh and feel slightly superior to this idiot with too much time on his hands. Get over it. Oh and do the very polite thing. If a neighbour is trying to start a feud there's nothing more annoying that failure. There's a lady in our village who stopped speaking to me after my ex-wife briefly went out with her son (I don't undertand that either). I always go out of my way to catch her eye, fuss her dogs and send a card at Christmas. After about ten years she's beginning to crack.

[i]I mean, how damn stupid is that?[/i] Well as you said it's a public road so she has every right to park where she wants.

People are funny about this sort of thng though. There are three parking spaces outside my mums flat and everyone also has a private space round the back. When we go we usually park at the front, she doesn't have a car but the private spaces are way too tight. She moans constantly about people parking 'in front of her window', its parking spaces you daft old bat what do you expect people to do.

People are funny about this sort of thng though. There are three parking spaces outside my mums flat and everyone also has a private space round the back. When we go we usually park at the front, she doesn't have a car but the private spaces are way too tight. She moans constantly about people parking 'in front of her window', its parking spaces you daft old bat what do you expect people to do.

Similar situation in my street. Every resident has either a private space or a garage. Cars belonging to non-residents from surrounding streets park in the street. Some residents think the public road belongs to them so they park on the street rather than in their space to stop non-residents parking.

So the street's clogged up with cars but the parking spaces are virtually empty.

Absolute f*cking idiots.

Its amazing to me, having moved to a town, how many people seem to think their property line goes halfway out into the street.

As she is clearly in the wrong, I should just make the most of a humorous situation. Enjoy it each time she has to put herself out and inconvenience herself by parking every day in some place she clearly did not want to park in the first place. I mean if you cant get a laugh from someone prepared to cut off their nose to spite their face...

I see no reason to apologise or make up, just let it go. If she is that controlling and petty if you back down she will always feel she is entitled to the upper hand with you.

Leave her a note, that gets people nicely wound up!

I had a fight with an ice cream van in our last house. We lived at the head of a culdesac, which had loads of families on. Every single day for the 5 years we lived there, he parked his van blocking our drive. Sometimes it was ok as we didn't need to go in or out, but often I would be coming home from work and have to sit there while he served 30 kids. We were in a semi and the house next to us had the drive at the side not on the front, so if he'd parked 6 feet forwards, we'd have been able to get on and off the drive.

So one day, I decided I was fed up. I got out of the car and asked him (not rudely but fairly, erm, forcefully) to stop blocking our drive and to park infront of the neighbours instead. So he moved, I parked. But then on my way in to the house I heard him and some teenage lads make a comment and then laugh. So I flipped, opened the front door and yelled "I can hear you, you know" and slammed it shut again. Not my finest hour 😳 Irony was, we'd sold and were moving the next month! 😆

If she is that controlling and petty

I do wish I had come up with a suitable retort to her 'drop dead will you' though.

I just thought of 'I am sure you will before I do'. I don't suppose it will have the right efect now though will it?

How good are you at faking a heart attack? Might be interesting if you did (to her eyes anyway) "drop dead" 😀

my neighbour is a pain too must be the time of year. he doesnt have a car tho this one 😉 he like it clear so he can work on his scooter if he want . last time i parked there he came flying out and ended up hiding in his shed the horrible ****.

he shouts at anyone who parks there and he rents the bloody house and its a public road not even his drive. hes got no parking signs up and carpet gripper on the fence to hurt cats .

im thinking it wont be long before his lovely polished scooter gets some paint stripper all over it 😉

When I was living in a shared house with 4 others we had a problem as too many cars to fit in the drive so the obious place for overspill was in front of the house but there was a bus stop there albeit with no road markings. I tried parking outside the house on oneside but was asked not to - apparently he was friends with Patrick Moore and one time Patrick drove past but didn't stop as thought he had a visitor due to the car outside.... So I tried parking outside the other neighbour but was shouted at a lot. So I used the space by the bus stop where I got shouted at by bus users, so I tried a bit further down the road but found someone had put bricks under the car and let my tyres down.... The stupid thing about all this is that the road was a wide, busy one, the front gardens quite long and everyone parked in their own drives so really no harm from parking out in the front. Curious really.

@ firestarter - spose it's a step above burning him out you psycho 😕

well id like to explain a bit i guess. a while back i parked there as there were no other places and as he doesnt have a car. he told me to move so i ignored him and when i came out later to move it as some spaces had cleared it was scratched down both sides and across the boot.

this was the only damage to any car in the street . odd that. so i know it was down to him. but the proper channels wont do owt so i will get it sorted it out myself in my own time 😉

after reading this I'm quite glad to live where I do

I've got a neighbour like that too, the mad old bat insists that my car pokes into "her" space at the front of her house (and yes it does) but it's simply the layout of the cul-de-sac and the houses, there's nowhere else to go - all my other neighbours have to park their cars too and mine simply fits where it fits. The problem is compounded by her daughters complete inability to park the car in any space smaller than a football field.
Every morning, the daughter arrives at 6.30am, parks up ouside her parents house then walks off to the station. Every morning at 6.30, I get woken up by at least one (usually both) parents outside yelling instructions to their 34 year old daughter on how to park a ****ing Toyota Yaris in a space 6m long! "BACK A BIT LUV! TURN THE WHEEL NOW!

In fact when I moved into that house 2 years ago, the very first words the woman said were "What d'ya think ya doin' parkin' 'ere? Not once has she ever even said "Hello". Rude cow.

apparently he was friends with Patrick Moore and one time Patrick drove past but didn't stop as thought he had a visitor due to the car outside

love that - quite clearyly a nutter! 😀

 

The old lady opposite me has a disabled space and parks her little car in it. Parking speces are permit only and there's often no room in my street so I park where ever possible up the surrounding roads. When we first moved in the old lady asked me to make sure I dont park too close as she has trouble geting in and out. No problem, everyone else on our little road knows this to. So the other day when walking the dog I saw someone parking quite close to her car, so I thought I'd very cheerily and politely tell them, I pointed out the disabled space and told him about the old lady and as there was loads of space it being the middle of a working day suggested he move up a bit. He was still in his car so I thought it wouldnt be too difficult. He told me to **** off and a few other choice words...... People can be so nice!

To be fair, I'm broke at the mo.

So sort me out and I'll knack 'er for you.

I gave up trying to reason with my neighbour.
He owned 2 cars at the time and one he insisted parking in front of our house despite having a parking bay in front of the house and a space in the road too.
I tried to reason with him as our little boy was about 6 months old and my SO has chronic back problems, so his perpetual parking in front of the house was making life difficult for her. He didnt care, i retired indoors before i did something he would regret.
He's clearly a moron and wont be told, i just avoid him.

bigyinn - that clearly is very selfish - he should be ashamed of himself but i am sure he doesn't care one bit 🙁

He said to my face "yeah im being selfish, so what. Its taxed and road legal, i can park it where i like" hence my retreat indoors.
There have been several run in's since we moved in 8 years ago. He likes to bully people, but doesnt like it when i dont cower down in front of him. I could easily flatten him, but i dont see violence as a way forwards, oddly!

He makes my lovely neighbour seem wonderful by comparison.

My neighbour showed me his deeds once, to prove to me that he owned the pavement outside his house (he didn't, & his deeds showed that). Strangely deluded though, if ever kids (a fair few in our road) chalked on 'his' pavement he would come out & chuck a bucket of water on it. We came to the conclusion he is a complete bully when, when our kids were younger, they would come in saying that he had walked past them playing telling them to **** off under his breath.(I'll spare you the countless other cases, including his Mrs riding her moped through them). I just ignore(d) him as much as possible, I think he is a bit of a sadist who sees himself as some sort of victim. Barking.
Recently though, I think his Mrs has got altzimers (sp), but I find it very hard to think any way charitable towards them.

I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself over my 'incident'. Quite clearly I have nothing to worry about compared to some people. 🙁

(Unless she is a witch and her 'drop dead' comment was actually a spell...)

I started a thread sometime ago asking how well people got on with their neighbours as so often seem to hear about pointless feuds. I'm lucky as I get on well with mine and we just pop into each others back gardens if we're looking for each other. However, they're all well past retirement age so hope that when they leave for the last time their replacements are OK; I chose to live in as expensive an area as I could afford in order to minimize the living near one of those chav-type families I hear about....

I think we are in need of some major shoe weeing!

I'm waiting for some ****er to put a description of odd behaviour up only for me to start thinking "Jesus wept, that's me he's talking about!!"

e.g. when the au pair was living next door and, coincidentally, would get undressed whenever I snuck out for a crafty roll-up, making sure to turn the blinds downwards so I could see into the room...I'm sure I was the subject of some "pervert next door" thread on an ex-pat French Au Pair forum!!!

The other one that's happened on my road recently, unsubstantiated rumours, though one of my friendly neighbours told me...some new people have moved into a flat across the road and have been seen rifling through the paper recycling on a Wednesday morning, then scurrying back indoors after doing it for a few minutes. Assuming the worst, they're after names and addresses to commit identity fraud, or of course, they could be terrorists...but you'd think they'd try a few streets along rather than the houses a few doors down from them...WTFFFF?!!

I would have moved my car and not wasted any energy personally-keep the peace.

One guy use my private parking spot forcing me to park 20 mins walk away.
I asked politely but he ignored the warnings.

After 2 months he was found shot dead in his car in my parking spot and brains on the.

My parking problems were gone.

Nurses across the road used to do stip teases etc so I went round to say hello/dinner/party...neighbours...everybody needs sexy neighbours...

Maybe you should do the same-either shoot her or have make love to her...

I'd move...

True story.

Wasn't me.

The guy drove a yello cheap a chento and supplied drugs to kids in schools. Obviously cutomer service wasn't very good.

My parents have a couple of neighbours that park across other peoples street-parking bits so that the husband doesnt have to get up to move his car so his wife can get hers out in the morning. It obviously hasnt occurred to them to put them away in the right order. The other problem is the road is pretty narrow so double parking causes a few issues, and parking opposite a drive means its pretty hard to get cars out of drives sometimes. Doesnt seem to stop them.

I keep my fun car on a neighbours drive, used it relatively rarely but still want to be able to use it. Only HER neighbours visitor decided she couldnt be bothered parking the car in front of the person she was visiting, it was going to get parked in front of the drive where my car was. After having to ask them to move it a few times (only 6ft further forward for gods sake, space never filled by anyone else!), being talked to like a child in front of the family she was visiting, I blew my top at her and pointed out she was either incosiderate, stupid or both and next time I'd just hook up the 4x4 and drag her box out of the way by its axles. She made another remark to the effect of "its not that much of a problem to come and ask me to move it". I stopped, stared her in the eyes and said "its not that hard to think before you apply the brake". Amazingly its not been parked there since. I'm waiting to hear it's been burned out! lol

Where my mum lives parking bays are at a premium, there is one lady who parks her chelsea tractor over 2 bays for absolutely no reason, not slightly over but full on park in the middle of 2 bays, ive seen her, there are no disabled people to get in or out of the car, there is no reason for it. Once when I was taking my car to scrap in a couple of weeks anyway I "made it fit" into the space she had left before changing my mind and parking elsewhere.

its to stop her doors getting dinged.

my neighbours are great btw, very friendly and extremely nice.

my parents neighbors are nutters tho, and have been known to see if cars are over there driveway using lazer pointers/levels and stand in the drive with sound meters to see if people are being too noisy.

My neighbour saw me cleaning my bike outside my house using a bucket of water (I have no outside tap), I saw him looking and waved and said "bonjour". He came over the next day and he'd bought me a hose which was plugged into his outside tap and told me to use it whenever I needed to (we pay for water here too!). Then he took me round to his garage and he'd cleared a space for my bike and got me a key and told me that he didn't think my girlfriend would like muddy bikes living in the house!!

Just to balance the stories!

He fancies you.

In our last house, there were a block of garages, one opposit each house, so all of the neighbours plus us, parked our cars there, it suited us and was a considerate thing to do. Of course our elderly neighbour was the only one who insisted he block up the shared area by parking bang ourside his own house.
He was a lovely chap though and we got used to him. However when we first moved in he put string along the shared piece of front garden and mowed only his tiny half.
As the months went by, I started to mow all of it and cut his hedge too, for this he seemed grateful and started to be as friendly as all the other neighbours.

Luckily in our present house the neighbours all help out when it comes to parking and often let us use their driveways when friends call. It's the only way as it's a tiny cul du sac with no off road parking space.

sound meters to see if people are being too noisy.

I can understand that to some degree - having had one particular neighbour spend most of every summer revving a car with a straight-through exhaust and stereo blaring, or repeatedly kicking a casey against their garage door for hours on end. It can start to drive you mad. Especially when there are 3 dog-owning households over the back too that wake you at 3am 5am and 7am every day by letting their dogs out to the loo then not standing with them so they have to bark to be let back in. I swear my father will buy a shotgun soon!

As per bunnyhop though, now at my parents place all the neighbours share drives depending on need, which is funny considering they're all semis in a normal street - looks like people are just stealing each others cars 😀
At my flat I park on any bit of road I can find, dodging chinese takeaway customers and the mass influx of churchgoers on thursdays and sundays.

Damn, never thought of that! I was in my cyclings shorts too so it must be that 😉

Sounds like some of the more financially stable need to buy a collection of pretty property from around the UK and put them all near each other, around somewhere called STW Ville or such like, where it seems, the majority of people on here are certainly a 'live and let live' type.

As I live on the edge of sheffield, i'll have a 3/4 bed period property with a garage and a shed please, a cellar would be nice too.

My old dad is a bit bonkers, I helped him clear out his garage and he broke the frame on a complete door just so 'someone else couldnt have it' - crazy.

jt

My ex landlord gave me a key to his empty house, next to mine, so i could park my motor bike safely at night. When the house got rented out he extended a stone out house so the bike would fit safely in there.

Proper chap.

Sounds like a nice guy Peregrine - stay on the right side of him!

Friend of mine had a twit over the road from him that complained when anyone parked out side his house, on a public road. Couple of weeks ago the neibour knocked loudly on said friends front door but instead of letting the 2 Alsations out for a bite to eat his partner opened the window and asked how his "Horticulture" was coming on and did the smell bother his neibours. They haven't heard from him since.

Apparently his neibour had worked it out but is scared to tell the police so told the other residents on the street instead. Strange how things get around.

lost me

Some sound personal advice for the OP, sleep with your neighbour. I always find sleeping with a woman stops them from speaking or contacting me again 8)

At uni we had a neighbour who used to move his car then place cones out to keep his space. As it was a crowded Glasgow tenement street and we had to park 2 streets away sometimes this did rather annoy us.

So we kept on nicking his cones (well he had obviously nicked them in the 1st place) till he ran out. You can't beat students at nicking cones!

Have to say I have been very lucky with all my neighbours other than at that flat which also had noisy neighbours downstairs who would try and carry on the clubbing vibe when they came home at 4 am by playing loud crap dance music. That changed after we rang the polis who must have been bored as they popped round! The sound of the Police banging on the door shouting 'Open up, it's Strathclyde Police' and the frantic flushing of the toilet downstairs still brings a smile to my face even now!

A 63 yr old in Lille this week shot a young couple dead who dared park in his 'spot' infront of his house on a busy road this week. Sad.

Rats, crowded territory, it all follows.

Moral, don't live next door to rats.

Shame it ain't that easy.

You live in a terraced house next door to hers and you are soon to be the proud parents of two bundles of joy. Are you sure she isn't just getting her retaliation in early 😉

A while back I posted a thread about my neighbour having a few issues with us building an extension that would block a view from his downstairs toilet window.
At the time we had spent a bit of extra dosh to look at options to reduce the effect and we gave him (and his silent wife) a copy of said report so they know what the score was. At the time we were very VERY careful not to actually say what we were going to do as we didn;t know how much it would cost and if we would eventually do it. There were no issues with permits or anything, in fact we could have built a complete second storey and not actually told them. Anyway, that was maybe 5 months ago and the only thing we have heard from them was a chance meeting in the driveway where my wife asked him if he had got the report and we'd work out what the plan was etc. He went mental and started to call her all sorts of obscenities then complained that because his house only had one garage, and he has a Land rover he can;t fit it in there so he needed to park his wifes car on the road so that was our fault (?) and that our extension would lose him "50 grand on my house" so would we give him that money etc. My wife pointed out that we didn't actually know if we would build it and that the report was given, as per the note on it, so they knew what we were being told and the options we had considered. Anyway upshot is they will not speak to us other than for him to call me a "Scottish ****" every time he sees me, i laugh because it a) winds him up and b) don't really care and c) I know I am so him reminding me, given that he is English just tickles me.

The funniest thing is that we won't build the extension anyway cos its too expensive ! Just plain odd. This is someone who bought a house with one garage that his car won;t fit in and seems to think that for some bizarre reason its our fault ? Anyway its an endless source of amusement to me esp as we've had to put survey markers in the drive now and the engineer has painted a big F-Off orange line right through the middle of where his car is which clearly shows that its parked in the middle of our section. One day, ONE DAY, i will make him move it. I'm just biding my time 🙂

My brother and his family live in a terraced house with rather thin walls. Of a weekend he and his wife are regularly entertained by the sounds of their middle-aged, recently divorced neighbour and her swinging parties / post pub gang-bangs. Apparently she (and the variety of men / women she invites back) are all rather vocal in their appreciation of each other.

It's got to the point where they don't really notice it any more but if anyone stays overnight they have to warn them about next doors nightly goings-on. My parents were rather shocked the first time they visited - rounded off when they sat in the living room on a Sunday morning watching the procession of men leaving the house.

Thankfully we live next to a rather nice elderly couple who have become like an extra Aunt and Uncle to my two girls and who we get on very well with.

You live in a terraced house next door to hers and you are soon to be the proud parents of two bundles of joy. Are you sure she isn't just getting her retaliation in early

For balance, my other neighbour has swapped keys with us, in case we are locked out, and we both shared an appreciation of the air-stewardess who used to live opposite out back, and would do her ironing naked in front of her French windows.

I came home one day to find my elderly next door neighbour had been round and cut down my metal washing line pole with his angle grinder. He must have seen me the day before spending an hour failing miserably to dig it out. Another time he helped me lop the tops off the leylandi at the back of the garden with his wobbly old chainsaw stood on a rusty old step ladder. That was a bit scary.

He must have seen me the day before spending an hour failing miserably to dig it out.

I am as friendly as some of you are with direct neighbours. One has a key/alarm code to our house when we are away and vice versa. Others borrow our hosepipe (not on meter 🙂 and others use our garden recycling bin. I also look after the unmetalled road for all 20 or so residents.

It is just this one mad bint. Ohh, and the guy a couple of doors down from her lets his dog use the lane as a toilet, but I am yet to catch him at it to bring him up on that particularly filthy habit (consideing there are several children and three more on the way it really does need stopping).

Never really had a bad neighbour but then if I was a 5ft6 tall male I bet there would have been some who would take the p1ss. After all life is like a school playground.