So I'm home with my nearly two year old daughter, she escapes upstairs and comes back down a few minutes later, minus leggings and, crucially, nappy. She then hands me a rubber duck from the bath, which is covered in poo. I then notice that it is all over her. I go upstairs expecting to find the bathroom in a bit of a mess, and am relieved it is spotless. I check her bedroom before coming back down to find that she has wiped it all over her Walls, carpet, furniture, books etc.
Took me a good hour plus to clean.
Once I had finished I sat down for a well earned coffee. Then chilli, our Balinese (long haired Siamese) cat walks in the living room and is covered, and I mean covered, in shite..
I think she can wait for the wife to get home....
Is she channeling the spirit of Bobby Sands?
Look out if she starts taking an interest in trucks filled with fertilizer 😉
LOL properly LOL, that is classic.
I'm kinda surprised the cat stood for it.
Thanks loddrik that has just made my afternoon 😆
😯
I'm trying to picture the look on the face of a Siamese, of all cats, that is covered in shite. It must be taking disgust and contempt to new levels.
Anyway... thanks for making me laugh. I was merely bored. Now I feel quite lucky 😀
Thanks loddrik 😆
yep it's when the little darlings come in so innocently.
it happened only once to me. My eldest went up for her after lunch sleep. When she woke up, we heard her on the baby monitor chatting happily having a lovely time playing in her cot, so we left her to play as long as she was happy.
She only lost interest once the poo ran out. How were we to know she was such a fan of 1970 NI politics.
I was pulling stuck on coco pops off our cat last week but this defo beats that hands down...x
best thread today 😆
Daughter to chilli: You're a beautiful cat, but do you find, in those toilet moments, that shit sticks to your fur?
The rest as they say.......
I discovered that my cat was dangling a trail of half digested fur from his anus one morning just as I was about to leave for work.
The trouble was that the unfortunate creature attempted to dislodge it by pulling himself along the kitchen floor with his front paws, in a manner do a dog tobogganing. The little swine painted a pooey striple three feet long on the lino.
I had to clear it up and tug out the feline bum-brush using my fingers wrapped in kitchen towel and bleach the floor. Explaining my lateness to my boss that day was an experience.
This thread is even more funny than my exploding can of Branston beans thread! :LOL
A friend of mine has a dog that eats almost anything. Anyway, he's had a pleasant evening with a lady & not disposed of the knotted rubber particularly well. Unbeknownst to friend, dog does what she does best & it's gone.
2 days later, friend, lady friend & dog are at friend's parents for "meet the new girlfirend" dinner. Dog comes in from outside, not looking too good and as the dog walks through the room his mum says she can see what looks like a balloon end protruding from the dog's rear end. Marigolds on &, in front of the family, "balloon" is removed only to be revealed as said rubber, still knotted with contents.
New lady friend very embarrassed. The dog looked much better though.
this thread 😆
My son had his on dirty protest on sunday. All over his backside after curling one off on the loo seat and then sitting in it.
He's 5 in 3 months..... 😳
Shit can be cleaned, be thankful she didn't wander upstairs and have a real accident. Imagine explaining THAT to the Mrs
define real accident?
Does it involve a friend and 3 (yes, 3!) whole rolls of Andrex in one flush?
'Fortunately' I managed to get a lot of the sodden paper back up from the u-bend but did spend a happy half hour with a bucket and a bathful of water getting a continous flow of water down the waste pipe so that if it did subsequently solidify and block, it would be well under the street by then.
you have to repost this on her facebook when she is a teenager.
My child had a favoured corner of the study.
When I got guinea pigs I realised she was simply displaying a classic transition between , i'll poo in my pants or use the loo. Still called poo corner by all family.
define real accident
You're kidding right?
kick the cat out, it will clean itself!
Seem to remember Freud had a thing or two to say about this:
At one and one-half years, the child enters the anal stage. With the advent of toilet training comes the child's obsession with the erogenous zone of the anus and with the retention or expulsion of the feces. This represents a classic conflict between the id, which derives pleasure from expulsion of bodily wastes, and the ego and superego, which represent the practical and societal pressures to control the bodily functions. The child meets the conflict between the parent's demands and the child's desires and physical capabilities in one of two ways: Either he puts up a fight or he simply refuses to go. The child who wants to fight takes pleasure in excreting maliciously, perhaps just before or just after being placed on the toilet. If the parents are too lenient and the child manages to derive pleasure and success from this expulsion, it will result in the formation of an anal expulsive character. This character is generally messy, disorganized, reckless, careless, and defiant. Conversely, a child may opt to retain feces, thereby spiting his parents while enjoying the pleasurable pressure of the built-up feces on his intestine. If this tactic succeeds and the child is overindulged, he will develop into an anal retentive character. This character is neat, precise, orderly, careful, stingy, withholding, obstinate, meticulous, and passive-aggressive. The resolution of the anal stage, proper toilet training, permanently affects the individual propensities to possession and attitudes towards authority. This stage lasts from one and one-half to two years.
little boy, "daaaad, daddy....." shouted from the back door
"look I've told you, don't shout, come and talk to me."
"But daaaaaad"
"oh, what is it?"
ominous silence followed by small child arriving in living room " I've got poo on my shoes!"
🙁
You can't keep 2 year olds under constant supervision, and nor should you in your own home imo.