Not sure what I want from this bar to perhaps get some understanding voices.
Mrs Lunge has just accepted her first job outside of teaching in the NHS. She’s taken a much lower salary than she was on previously on, something we know is fine and something she explained to her new manager in the interview.
Today she went for a “meet the team” and a walk around the department. The manager took her into the office and basically asked her why she was leaving teaching and why she wanted to little money. She’d answered both of these in great detail in her interview and was offered off the back of this, so he knew the answer to both.
Mrs Lunge, a sufferer of some pretty nasty anxiety, is now adamant that she’s made the wrong decision, and that the manager doesn’t want her to join at all. She said she wanted to come away excited for her new job and now feels she’s made a terrible mistake. There’s not a lot of jobs of this kind around so it’s not like she can just apply for another one. She also met someone doing the job at the moment who was very unenthusiastic. The hospital she’s going in to has brilliant reports and people I know in the NHS rave about it.
Does this seem like odd behaviour from the manager or is it just me/her over-thinking things?
She also met someone doing the job at the moment who was very unenthusiastic. The
Lots of people struggle to be enthusiastic about anything.
Wouldn’t read too much into that.
Being “jaded and downtrodden” in the workplace seems to be a “thing” for some people. Makes them feel important.
You won't hear me say this often. I agree with Neal.
Yup - overthinking it and as above - NHS has its fair share of people who just moan all the time.
Maybe he interviewed multiple people and can't remember all the details. Maybe he was just making conversation. Sounds like quiet the overreaction from what I've read.
She may "feel" like she's made a terrible mistake, but halfway through the first day (presumably) is a little early to be coming to that conclusion. Suck it and see for a while, it may turn out that she's correct or that she's totally wrong and it turns out to be awesome.
And of course, if it does turn out to be a shocker, "not many jobs" doesn't equate to "no jobs," she can always jump ship again even if it might take a little while.
people who just moan all the time.
Much like supermarket employees.
Except for if you work in London for Lidl. Who pay above living wage.
I actually really struggled when I changed jobs.. Also got nasty anxiety but after a while I started to love it and now I can walk into work and find any depth of challenge(form down right impossible to 'really I could do this with my eyes shut' literally) and give it my best..
Sometimes change is good..not always nice but now my anxiety is alot less and my colleagues are excellent at helping me deal with the anxiety and just love what I do..
That’s awesome to hear- so refreshing ^
If life gives you lemons... Why not make lemonade.. I do believe that change acan reveal things within ourselves that can be good or bad but embrace it and give it your damdest..
And 'tdog' that's exactly what my doctors say(I have other difficulties on that a few I'm medicated for... But coming off the medication slowly and successfully)
Hang in there Mrs lunge,hopefully things get better and things happen for a reason... Usually good... Try embracing the uncertainty and make the best off it.. I spent most of my youth bieng in limbo(and bordering suicidal at times).. And everything works itself out time.. Times the best healer things will get better
If Mrs Lunge's new manager knows she took a large paycut then he may be concerned that she'll leave soon-ish after starting due to money concerns; some people will say what they think an interviewer wants to hear.
I suspect it's pre-starting nerves that will settle down after a week or two.
How sad - first days should be encouraging but so rarely are. The simple answer is, if the manager who interviewed her didn't want her to bevthere, she wouldn't have got the job. I'd say be patient, no need to rush a decision, and she'll always have teaching as a safety net - but give the new gig a fair crack first. 🙂
From my very limited experience, 99% of people in the NHS seem to be dedicated, professional individuals who could really do with a break.
You get the other 1% everywhere - miserable, negative bastards who have no idea how lucky they are.
Problem is, most of the 99% aren't prepared to confront the 1% and tell them how much of an impact they are having, on patients as well as staff.
As an NHS newbie, it's terrifying at first.
There is just so much to learn.
But as an ex teacher she'll be aware of how those in charge (Ward Managers, Modern Matrons in the NHS) are responsible for how well the place runs and how happy everyone is.
They set the tone.
Get a good one and it's just gravy. Get someone weak or overly egotistical and everyone suffers.
After six months she'll have learnt who is effective and who's a waste of time. And she will be able to move around and work with those she admires.
She'll love it.
The manager is probably thinking 2 things:
How long before she gets an offer from somewhere more in keeping with her previous position and how much will it cost me to train her and then replace her?
When will she come gunning for my job and has my boss hired her for that specific purpose?
Never underestimate the power of paranoia.
Great post Rusty - says it well.
The "moaners" really do drag folk down - they are few in number but have a big effect.
Does this seem like odd behaviour from the manager or is it just me/her over-thinking things?
To be honest I'd say that the manager is just making small talk with someone he barely knows and your wife is allowing her anxiety to make 2+2=9 and generate a Machiavellian back story. My career backstory looks batshit mental and I often get folks with comparatively conventional/small lives and job histories ask me why I've made the leaps I have.
Does not mean the job is right for her of course. Grass is often greener until you stand on it and realise it is made of weeds. Brave first step leaving a profession but she has to appreciate there will be bumps along the way.
From my very limited experience, 99% of people in the NHS seem to be dedicated, professional individuals who could really do with a break.
and no matter how dedicated and professional you are, you'll still have off days and, funnly enough, these seem to be the days when the new start is getting shown about. I'm in the NHS and have a job I like, working mostly with people I get on well with. But there's still the days when it doesn't go well (last week recovering from a lightening strike which took all our networks for example) and it gets a bit dispiriting. But that'll be true everywhere and it's nothing like my last (better paid) job which was just unremitting grind and unpleasantness so even on the bad days here I'm still happy that I moved
Also, the manager. Let's be honest, we all tell porkies in interviews. If I was her manager, I probably have asked her outside the interview as well, but out of interest not anything paranoia engendering. Although if the answer had been sacked for dismembering the kids and burying them in the playground I might be a bit concerned.
why she wanted to little money
You don't have to give a reason, and the standard answer is that "One is independently weathly".
Eveyone has a different motivation for taking a role. Bit early for buyer's remorse, I'm sure she'll be fine.
Getting back into teaching would be like leaning on an open door. I have never known a time like it for shortages and people not turning up after accepting the job. Like others have said, give it a bit more time and then decide.