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I was thinking about Helen McCrory last night -> Peaky Blinders -> Idles (their music is used quite widely and in particular in a great scene)
So as my lad and I were cruising the means streets of Guildford (on our way to pick up my daughter from her shift at not just any supermarket - proper gangster) we were listening to them 'a bit too loud' on the car stereo when Never Fight a Man with a Perm came on.
And so I took the opportunity to give the boy a life lesson in other 'Never' advice for life
So far I have in addition to the above
Never drink in a flat roofed pub
Never eat yellow snow
Never date a girl called Louise
- what else needs to go on this list?
- and are there ever exceptions (Louise Wener? Surely worth the risk?)
Never make rules.
it's only advice
Never wait more than 15 minutes to see who's made a smart arse comment 😉
Never watch Never Say Never Again again
Never expect anything less
Never throw water on a fat fire - it'll take your face off.
All in an Alan Partridge voice.
Never watch Never Never Land
Never stir another man’s porridge.
Never smile at a croc-o-dile.
Never going to give you up
Never put your dick somewhere you wouldn't put your finger.
Never say never watch Never Say Never Again again
Never pick another man's rhubarb
Never open click bait threads.
Never argue with idiots, they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Never assume malice when incompetence would suffice.
Never forget your safe word 🤦♂️
Never Eat Shredded Wheat is a maxim that has given direction to my life.
Never Eat Shredded Wheat is a maxim that has given direction to my life.
This worked when I was younger but I now find Shredded Wheat gives routine to my day...
Have switched to Naughty Elephants now...
Never retreat, never surrender.
Have switched to Naughty Elephants now…
You're eating naughty elephants?
I'd say that's in contravention of another maxim I try to live by: Never eat anything bigger than your head.
🙂
Never trust HR
Don't trust anything with orange eyebrows
Don't cut wet grass
Don't trust HR
"Never make a defence or apology before you be accused"
(King Charles 1 in 1636)
Never say never!
Applies to sking and MTB
Never argue with trees, they always win!
Never speculate that a woman may be pregnant unless you can actually see a baby emerging from between her legs.
Never take advice from strangers on the internet.
Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana.
Never forget where you’re coming from
Never forget why you went into the room.
In the wise words of Ade Edmondson in Mr Jolly Lives Next door... "never ever bloody anything ever"
What's the perm line about then?
Are blokes with perms actually really hard or dirty fighters?
Never speak to me without being spoken to,
Never look me in the eye,
Never comment about my perm.
Never go back to a lit firework. Unless it hasn't gone off and you want to get your moneys worth.
Never run with scissors. I don’t and it’s been fine so far.
Never 💩 where you eat .
Never start shaving your ear or nose hair... not mine but if I remember it was advice given to an author who disregarded it.
NEVER...’ oh...I’ve forgotten, never mind. What’s your favourite humming noise?
Never go back to a lit Louise
Never have I seen you look as lovely as you do tonight.....
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.
Never trust a fart.
Never say you'll smoke till 50 and then give up because it'l be too late by then.
Never go to the dentists stoned.
Never trust a man with egg on his face
Never bother posting on an anti-dog thread...
Never ask a starfish for directions.
Never drink in the pub closest to the railway station
Never ask a starfish for directions.
Excellent, That made me laugh
Never say you’ll smoke till 50 and then give up because it’ll be too late by then.
NEVER say this at a party.
Never assume malice when incompetence would suffice.
Hanlon's Razor, that.
Never drink in the pub closest to the railway station
Tap on the Line at Kew Gardens station is a lovely pub. Albeit London prices, of course.
York Tap is pretty good too. As is Platform 3 at Claygate.
Never scissor with the runs.
Never start a land war in Asia.
Never say one last try
Never tell me the odds.
Never interfere in a boy-and-girl fight.
- Words of Advice for Young People, William S. Burroughs
Never make eye contact whilst eating a banana.
or during a colonoscopy
Never invade Afganistan.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line
Never go into an internet debate thinking you will either change someone's mind or get anyone else to act in a reasonable or objective way.
Never vote Tory
Never Ending Story
Ahh-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah
Ahh-ah-ah
never touch the MIL inappropriately.
Never play cards or pool with a man who’s first name is the name of a city.
Never discuss age, weight or hair with a lady.
Never talk politics or religion at parties.
Never stop fighting.
Never sleep with, or go out with, anyone that you work with.
Never punch a bear.
Never eat soup wearing a fencing mask.
Never marry a woman with three eyes.
I'm really worried. I met my wife in 1993. She's absolutely amazing. Is she playing the long game....She's called Louise!!!! I wish this thread had been around back then.
Never give a sucker an even break.
Never ever go to Neverland with MJ
Never before , in the feild of human conflict...
Were off to Never Never Land ( Rock )
Never say " Watch this! "
Never say " This is the last run down for the day"
Flexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Z
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find.
Never. Ever.
Never the Twain shall meet
Never say “Now watch this!” before doing anything.
Never quote All Saints, it’s not big and it’s not clever 😉
Never say that!
never pick a fight with an inanimate object.
Never trust a hippy
i’ve just remembered that i had a girlfriend called louise. she was nuts. the trouble kind, not the fun kind.