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Well aren't there some aggressive ****ers out there on the roads these days.
Merrily tootling to work this morning in a 30 past a school and some parked cars. Comes towards me Mr shiny e class at warp factor easily 50 mph gesticulating wildly. I presume there's a wasp in the car but no, he's angry, that I, way before he was anywhere close dared to round parked cars in my dirty transit van.
Here's where my first and only mistake was, I pulled over and stopped in a space. This caused him to go in to Linford mode after abandoning his car and sprint down the road. He actually called me ugly which hurt a bit and even said my breath smelt, (last night's garlic I presume). So then off comes the tie and he asks me to get out and he'll show me who's right, I decline, he says come on get out we'll sort this, I ask him if he's got any pistols, this further enrages merc man. Then an old lady pulls up behind and pokes her head out of the window and tells him he's driving like an idiot as he'd overtook her previously. I chip in stating he must be a bell end, me and the lady have a chat about merc man, he's getting more angry. I put my window up and drive off. I so wanted to get out and level the **** but I'm going on holiday on Monday and I didn't want to end up in court! Bellend!
going on holiday monday :0) haha thats my excuse for not doing big dropoffs on the pushbike
U OK, HUN?
Maybe there's something in the air...
Lots of super agro drivers near me yesterday, blaring horns and taking roundabouts like Lewis Button.
Maybe it's come to this, the Easter Fortnight used to be a nice time to drive, a bit more room, daylight during rush hour, everyone took a bit of a chill pill - not this year, it's gone right the other way.
Haven't been offered a full on pavement dust up this year though, last year I was offered a fight with two chaps at once, which seemed unfair.
Well handled sir, I admire your approach. I sadly would be under arrest at this point...
I ask him if he's got any pistols
I chortled.
I ask him if he's got any pistols, this further enrages merc man
There goes my nose-coffee
How close to an aneurysm do you think you and old lady got him?
Strange how some people really do see their commute as an acceptable way to vent all the self-loathing in their miserable unfulfilled lives.
Here.
Sip it sloooowly.
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Had to laugh last night when Golf R32 ahead of me got wound up having wait behind a combine harvester for at least 20 seconds, winds car up and overtakes on a blind bend only to not be able to make the bend and stick it in a ditch!
fighting at the side of the road with a stranger is never going to end well.
deep breaths and walk away.
whatyadoinsucka - Member
going on holiday monday
I am, can't wait. Can't get over how confident some people are in their ability to go toe to toe.
I've done my fair share of that shit, the worse one was getting a black ear from a sweet right hand, hurt for weeks.
There really are some proper psychos out there who would have been out in a shot and I could tell he was way too keen to be up to much. He'll learn the hard way one day...
"He actually called me ugly"
JPEG, so we judge for ourselves.
"I ask him if he's got any pistols"
This is brilliant.
the pistols bit is genius - I'm going to remember that one 😆
Sounds like you found a way to rise above it and see the [s]funny[/s] stupid side of the situation, so you win as he's having a worse day than you now.
Similar thing happened to be on the way back from Llandegla. 2 young tits racing along the Ruthin Road, shortly found crashed into the hedge and each other in Minera. The one in, what I assumed was his dad's brand new Lexus was looking particularly glumHad to laugh last night when Golf R32 ahead of me got wound up having wait behind a combine harvester for at least 20 seconds, winds car up and overtakes on a blind bend only to not be able to make the bend and stick it in a ditch!
Toot and wave.
Toot and wave. 😆
Love it when that happens Scud.
Once saw one of those daft overpowered aussie vauxhall minaro things do the same on the road from Laggan to Fort william. Guy overtook about 6 cars on a left bend, then fishtailed it all over the road before burying it in a bog.
'There must be diesel on the road' was his excuse. Oh how we larf'd.
"Pistols"
Excellent! 😀 That's the kind of thing I'd only think of five minutes too late. Goes up there with muddydwarf's "What are you gonna do? Eat me?" to the fat guy driving the Range Rover.
Maybe it's come to this, the Easter Fortnight used to be a nice time to drive, a bit more room, daylight during rush hour, everyone took a bit of a chill pill - not this year, it's gone right the other way.
I noticed this last week during a commute to work (on the road bike). Had more close/impatient/aggressive passes in that one ride than in the entrie previous week. Just seemed that everyone expected to be able to drive much faster but actually couldn't.
Been doing the off-road commute this week on the CX bike, the good weather means the tracks have dried out nicely and it's been beautiful. I need to cross one road, otherwise the entire thing is completely car-free.
I agree I see people squaring up with no knowledge about what they are dealing with physically. I know some very unassuming human beings that I would not want to get a slap from. Watched a drunk pikey offer out a local in a pub in Yarm (two blokes gypo bollocks) trouble was the local was an ex royal navy boxing champion - the whole fracas didn't last long.
Ah, wrightyson! We all think you're pretty and smell sweet. Ignore the nasty man. (Well done 🙂 )
I think the pistols comment was quality. 😆
fighting at the side of the road with a stranger is never going to end well.
deep breaths and walk away.
This, I had an actual fight last weekend with a guy who very close passed me then slowed and squeezed me as punishment for my yells and gesticulations. It escalated very quickly to me punching him in the head four or five times in front of his wife and daughter after he came at me.
Things I learned.
1) no one comes out of it well
2) weight & height is everything in the early part of a fight, he was fat and unfit but it was really hard to keep his early wild swings at bay
3) dodging in roadie shoes is hard
4) I should have reacted with humour and wit rather than aggression.
I had a guy behind me the other day (in Merc as well) who was clearly frantic that I had the audacity to stick to the 30 limit (residential area, kids about) and then the downright cheek to obey the subsequent 20 limit through the main village.
Driving an inch off my bumper, red face, doing the above mentioned "wasp in the car" act. Usual stuff. I just left him too it.
Then as we go to the end of the 20 section (which is only half a mile long) he decided to floor it and overtake me at speed on the wrong side of a traffic island!?
Naturally there was a car coming the other way. I slammed on the brakes, as did the oncoming car, giving him just enough room to pass the island and swerve back across with literally inches to spare and then zoom off.
I have no doubt that in his mind that whole incident was entirely my fault.
TL;DR; some people drive like utter bellends and it's never their fault.
Geezer in a Merc overtook line of traffic last night at pace before lights, lights changed. Trapped on wrong side of road. Beside a police van. Smile and wave, smile and wave as he'd close passed me a few minutes before on a wide road. I also know where he lives ...
[i]4) I should have reacted with humour and wit rather than aggression.[/i]
Difficult when some bastard shows complete disregard for your safety on a bike.
TL;DR; some people [b]are dicks[/b][s]drive like utter bellends and it's never their fault.[/s]
I will remember the pistols comment, that deserves to be forever part of Singletrack lore.
In other news, my rides and drives to work have been entirely free of aggression if not mis-attention as I did nearly get squished by a Simon Howies butcher van who didn't notice me on my bike. Bloody IRONic if he'd made mincemeat out of me since I'd just shovelled down one of their wee black puddings for breakfast.
I ask him if he's got any pistols
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I'd have taken the old lady's details and reported him to 101. If nothing else they have the incident recorded when he inevitably does it again.
U OK, HUN?
Now you've gone and made me smile. At work!
It must be Mercs rise your testosterone level as you sit on the front seat as i did once get threatened with a stabbing from a driver of a merc in a busy Leith st a couple of years ago as we held him up for a couple of minutes on the damp cobbles with 23mm road tyres, window rolled down, stopped to shout insult then squeal the tyres.It shocked one or two folk who heard it more than it did me or my partner maybe should have reported it but is it worth the hassle
Meanwhile in other news
"Little old lady dragged from car and beaten to death after transit driver winds up bellend and then does a runner"
The pistols comment was genius. I'll add that to my stock of witty retorts to remember when it's too late to actually use.
And I'll remember not to upset any transit drivers in Belper.
2) weight & height is everything in the early part of a fight, he was fat and unfit but it was really hard to keep his early wild swings at bay
I think you will find its speed and technique 😉
going on holiday monday :0) haha thats my excuse for not doing big dropoffs on the pushbike
Genuine lol.
Also, 36 replies and no-one has posted a switcheroo thread from the POV of the Merc driver?
C'mon...standards, people!
hey! you try mincing round a raging lardy bull in roadie shoes 😉
In hindsight I was quite calm as soon as the swinging started, His wife was trying to drag him away and I was worried about her getting hurt, and it wasn't until he pushed her away and really started trying to hurt me that I starting hitting him.
Living in North Yorkshire there's always a chance that they might have duelling equipment of some sort with them. Or st least a shotgun.
I'll skip the pistols comment just in case.
Lots of super agro drivers near me yesterday, blaring horns and taking roundabouts like Lewis Button.
Must be pissed-off Brexiteers fed up that Britain hasn't yet regained the empire and gone to war with Germany. Or France. After all, it's nearly been a whole month since A50 was bejiggered.
Handy hint for any future pugilistic shenanigans. Tap yourself lightly with the flat of your hand over your ear hole. Increase the force until it becomes too uncomfortable. It won't take much.
Now imagine what your attacker would feel if you slapped him in the ear at full force...
Hey ho. Let's go.
jonnyboi - I sometimes wonder how these things finish - did you leave him
- lying in a pool of blood?
- Backing off apologising?
- being dragged away by his missus "Leave it Frank, 'e ain't worf it!"
(2 in my memory, 1 was interrupted by handy passing copper before it could escalate and the other I pointed out to the fella (Merc driver iirc) who lobbed his sunglasses across the street that his kids were watching (I was wearing winter bike gear and you can't fight someone whilst wearing leg warmers!) 😆 ).
One of my sisters is a senior police officer. She's a gold firearms commander which means she gets a fast, stealthed up police car to use.
She quite regularly gets cars tailgating on country roads, getting agitated where they go through villages and the speed limit drops and she slows down. Then they're all over the back of her as they leave a controlled zone looking for stupid overtakign opportunities.
There can be fewer activities in motoring more rewarding than flicking a switch, have the back of the car light up like a Christmas tree and watch the idiot behind suddenly consider what they've just done.
(she often just flashes the blues to calm them down - actually stopping people generates all sorts of paperwork and complications)
I trust the OP reported this idiot to the police?
There can be fewer activities in motoring more rewarding than flicking a switch, have the back of the car light up like a Christmas tree and watch the idiot behind suddenly consider what they've just done
I would love that 🙂 .
On a similar vein, my kids and I were nosing around a police camera van near the school and the officer invited us in to have a look. Amazing tech and the image resolution is brilliant. I assume they have polarizing filters too as you can look right into the vehicle with no glare. The 'look, sudden shock as they clock the camera van, then obvious braking' routine is brilliant to watch, especially as I knew half of them!
Back on topic - well played OP!
@wwaswas - a mate of mine was a police traffic officer. Many years ago whilst driving a [b]marked[/b] patrol car he was being tailgated to at an appropriate opportunity he turned on the lights and pulled the car over to the side of the road.
He gets out, signals to the driver to get out and approach his vehicle. My mate then opens the boot of the patrol car and with a wave of his hand says: "There, that's what I'm carrying in my boot. Now keep your f***ing distance!" Closes the boot and drives off.
jonnyboi - I sometimes wonder how these things finish - did you leave him
- lying in a pool of blood?
- Backing off apologising?
- being dragged away by his missus "Leave it Frank, 'e ain't worf it!"
Two motorists intervened who had seen what had happened and then he disappeared back to his car whilst he wife was shouting. The only funny bit was when she threw he sunglasses at him in disgust through the open window of the car.
TBH the whole thing was very unedifying, I was as worried about my Oakley's/new bike/ending up on a facebook video as I was getting hurt. But in hindsight these things can end up with someone in hospital or worse. Totally not worth it and I'll probably be less aggressive in responding to close passes as a result.
I ask him if he's got any pistols
This made me laugh a lot, cheers.
Genuinely great response if true.
There are some seriously angry people out there. Kudos to you Wrighty for your reaction and wit. I'd have had the red mist descending under those circumstances.
Reported myself to the police a few months ago after a driver tried to run me over. It escalated when I questioned his behaviour and he rolled out "you don't pay road tax, so shouldn't be in the road" he then got out of his car and started waving his arms around. I got very angry and it was either hit the cockwomble or his car. So I smashed his rear lights in. This made him get back in his car and drive off. I should have walked away 🙁
I felt terrible afterwards, dobbed myself in and paid for the damage. Police asked if I wanted to press charges against him, but I declined. He had a lucky escape as I have a crappy history of being good at the fisticuffs from my youth.
He basically tried to kill me to move up once car space and ruined two people's days as a result. Don't let it get to you, some people are just dicks, including me in that situation.
I find if some Mr Angry (there are an awful lot of them about) is having a pop at you, then blowing them a kiss can instantly ratchet them up a level, from merely angry to absolutely apoplectic 😀
I must admit laughing at him had the same response.
His parting words were "I know you, I know who you are" I'm still intrigued by that comment.
[i]I'm still intrigued by that comment.[/i]
Probably the idea. Either that or he thought you were Ronnie Pickering.
[i]these things can end up with someone in hospital or worse[/i]
My local greengrocer was Tony Magdi.
[i]
A cyclist from Brighton who punched a man in the face after he opened a car door in his path has been jailed for 18 months.
Paul Lambeth, 36, of Stafford Road, was jailed at Hove Crown Court for killing Tony Magdi, 52, in an assault on 7 November last year.
Mr Magdi suffered serious head injuries in the attack in Portland Road, Hove, and died in hospital three weeks later[/i]
[url= http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-13647541 ]http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-13647541[/url]
There can be fewer activities in motoring more rewarding than flicking a switch, have the back of the car light up like a Christmas tree and watch the idiot behind suddenly consider what they've just done.
I've almost done the opposite, commuting home on the M25, the wind must have been strong as my Citreon Berlingo was doing 70 in the fast lane, i had a bright jaffa orange Ford Focus RS come screaming up behind me and tailgated me literally with a couple of feet gap. I pulled over to the middle and lane and was about to give them the "special salute" when i noticed that they were both in uniform and it was an unmarked Police car.
Living in North Yorkshire there's always a chance that they might have duelling equipment of some sort with them. Or st least a shotgun.
Ask for rapiers or cavalry sabres.
(she often just flashes the blues to calm them down - actually stopping people generates all sorts of paperwork and complications)
The lady is also part of the problem. After all if she's on traffic duty she should be sorting out the egregious types and to hell with the paperwork times. It is a good use of her time as a lot of small corrections will help with the bigger picture.
The lady is also part of the problem. After all if she's on traffic duty she should be sorting out the egregious types and to hell with the paperwork times.
I suspect that if she is [i]"a gold firearms commander"[/i] travelling in a [i]"a fast, stealthed up police car"[/i] then she's probably not on traffic duty! 😆
[i]The lady is also part of the problem. After all if she's on traffic duty[/i]
She's an Assistant Chief Constable who's using a company car.
She has to call someone in to actually write tickets etc as she doesn't carry the paperwork round with her.
Ronnie Pickering
Who's that??? 🙂
[i]..she is "a gold firearms commander" travelling in a "a fast, stealthed up police car"[/i]
Shooting the stupid gits is fine with me 😆
His parting words were "I know you, I know who you are" I'm still intrigued by that comment.
People come out with some really random things when enraged. You should have said "I'm Batman" just to get the last word 🙂
Shooting the stupid gits is fine with me
She should be, at the very least, allowed to shoot their tyres out
I never understood how someone can be in such an epic rush that they'll drive like they stole it, make reckless overtakes and crawl up your chuff (the ideal overtaking position, obvs) for daring to do the speed limit, just to save a few seconds and yet have all the time in the world to park up have have a five minute slanging match. People are weird.
I find if some Mr Angry (there are an awful lot of them about) is having a pop at you, then blowing them a kiss can instantly ratchet them up a level, from merely angry to absolutely apoplectic
+1, I've done this, it's properly entertaining.
His parting words were "I know you, I know who you are"
I'm still intrigued by that comment.
People come out with some really random things when enraged
True, but only if one carelessly discounts Wrightyson's existing visual impact on the local populace
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[quote=binners ]I find if some Mr Angry (there are an awful lot of them about) is having a pop at you, then blowing them a kiss can instantly ratchet them up a level, from merely angry to absolutely apoplectic
I do that. It's fun
There can be fewer activities in motoring more rewarding than flicking a switch, have the back of the car light up like a Christmas tree and watch the idiot behind suddenly consider what they've just done.
There is a Youtube video worth of fun to be had right there...
I find if some Mr Angry (there are an awful lot of them about) is having a pop at you, then blowing them a kiss can instantly ratchet them up a level, from merely angry to absolutely apoplectic
And a second one there....
I know that I'm going to get the piss ripped out of me, but could someone explain the pistols comment to me please.
I know that I'm going to get the piss ripped out of me, but could someone explain the pistols comment to me please.
The Merc diver wanted a 'duel'.
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The proper way to challenge someone to a duel.
Woiuld require some kind of armoured DH glove though rather than standard roadie gloves...
when i noticed that they were both in uniform and it was an unmarked Police car.
I've had similar with an unmarked Evo up my arse 😳
I try not to get into physical confrontations any more. I've already had one driver cautioned for assaulting me, I don't want to establish a pattern.
binners - MemberI find if some Mr Angry (there are an awful lot of them about) is having a pop at you, then blowing them a kiss can instantly ratchet them up a level, from merely angry to absolutely apoplectic
I don't blow a kiss (in case it's seen as a hate crime), but I do smile in a manic friendly way and wave energetically, to similar effect.
I don't blow a kiss (in case it's seen as a hate crime)
Eh?
Racist innit. 😆
You should have said [s]"I'm Batman"[/s] "I know where you live" just to get the last word
With a strong Belfast accent, obvs.
Don't mention pistols in the states,travelling to the masters golf last week there were 4 guys in a car and I was the only unarmed person 😕
I got 'slapped' once by a motorist for having the audacity to ride my bike through a sleepy, West Sussex town one morning with cars parked on one side against oncoming traffic. Luckily an off-duty policeman was riding his bike the other way and saw the incident - no need for witnesses, he reluctantly pleaded and was billed £700 by the judge for his troubles. My sunnies were wrecked, I have a scar on my eyebrow and I learnt that carbon-fibre disco slippers aren't that suitable for trying to kick fat-****ers in the 'nads and legging it - I just hit a foot-ful of flab!
In hindsight, could have a lot worse and rather avoid confrontation - I try not to react, these days regardless of the provocation.
I learnt that carbon-fibre disco slippers aren't that suitable for trying to kick fat-****ers in the 'nads and legging it
Adds to the list of why flat pedals are better for the next clip versus flat thread
A good 12 years ago, when I was young and invincible, I stuck my finger up at a pickup driver here in Thailand. A few minutes later, the pickup driver was along side our car, showing me he had a gun, not pointing it at me, just holding it up to show me, before he burnt off.
Missus was not very happy, and since then I have never gesticulated at a driver in anger, well not in sight of them anyway.
when I was young and invisible
I think you'll find he was trying to get your wife's attention as he thought the car was without a driver 😯
I love when people are in such a rush that they are being an utter tool to everyone, but not in such a rush they can't stop for a quick fight.
(Hope no one else has said this, I read the OP and first couple of comments then posted. If you disagree with my approach, I'm removing my contact lenses and watch in readiness for taking this outside even as I type this)
^FFS - 5 seconds is all it took to correct that auto correct, 5 seconds and someone spotted it,