[Closed] My wife has left me.

Rubbish .
Sorry to read about your problems.
You really have to decide if you want your wife back, and how you are going to achieve this.

It will not be as simple as just stopping drinking.

You will have to change your work ethics, which I fully admire unfortunatly your wife possibly doesnt share the same view.

Can you not employ someone? Or sell part of your business ? Choose not to renew a few contracts, or re-write contracts to offer phone support 7am - 7pm only ?

You might need to limit your biking to a single 2hr midweek ride, and use the other time to do household stuff. Hoovering, cleaning ,ironing etc

Many women feel they never get any time off from looking after their husbands.

You know what to do re the booze.

Start cooking , shopping , tidying alot , and work smarter , not harder .

Try and make some friends . There must be a monthly mtb group ride you can go on, ok will take time but you will meet people.

Book a holiday , even if it is a Center Parks 4 day break .

Switch your phone off .

Do not spend 8pm - 1am pissing around on here/ Ebay. You probably have been emotionally detatched from your misses , they like talking and eye contact apparently.

nb . single and no kids so insert usual stw disclaimer here .

@rubbish: best of luck sir, singletrackmind sort of sums it up for me. Hope you work things out.

What STM says.

Even people saving kid's lives in hospital take time off work. Will the world end if you go on holiday? Me thinks not. I know work is important but it ain't that important.

Good luck.

Rubbish,

You need to understand that your love for alcohol (2 bottles a night is totally excessive) has inmaired your ability to focus on the real world. There is more to life than getting hammered. It doesn't help with stress either, only worsens it.

Your family is the priority so:

Stop drinking. Completely. For now at least. There's help to do so if you so need.

Only then can you reconsider your priorities; you'll be so much of a better family man sober.

You have to do this for yourself; once you've been fair and honest to yourself then you can focus on your family. They will be amazed at the positive change in you, particularly in your ability to deal with your work stressors.

But above all keep positive. Do go for a ride. I'm everyday reminding myself I've only got one shot at all this!!

Good luck.

Woke up at 7am and was still as angry as hell, drove over to her parents to see my daughter, I got angry and aggressive.

Didn't do myself any favours, but what the hell am I supposed to do in this situation, how the hell can anyone expect me to be calm, 24 hours ago I had a family, now nothing.

Didn't do myself any favours, but what the hell am I supposed to do in this situation, how the hell can anyone expect me to be calm, 24 hours ago I had a family, now nothing.

No one expects you to be calm or fine just yet - I guess most people in your situation would act similar. The important thing is to form a plan of how you are going to improve things. Like Don says, we dont know you well enough - you need to speak to someone directly, samaritans? Priest? neighbour?. you may feel that there is no-one to talk to but you have 3 pages of STWers that want to help so people do care.

Work on The Plan. good luck.

All the good stuff has been said above, in my experience he best stuff is the tough love stuff - it ain't easy but, one way or another, you'll get through it. (MrsMM, beta version, turned around just 6 weeks after we were married and said we had make a mistake...hurt like hell at the time, took me a good while to get me head outta my butt but, in hindsight, she was right and I have to thank her for having the strength to say it...)

Best suggestion for now is get out and ride. A long one. (I wish I had done when the above kicked off, i did not, i just festered for months, not good, not at all....hence i'm now repeating the 'go ride' advice from above)
Local, if you think you'll be ok bumping into folk you know (might be for the best - having someone to chat to?)
If you want your own space, throw the bike in the car / van and sod off somewhere, be that a trail centre (ok, you'l to be alone but, you're away) or somewhere you always wanted to ride but not made the time to?

You need space and time to clear start clearing your head (note 'start' - this will not be a quick process) franky so does your wife.

Re: work - i hated my previous job, it was bring us (MrsMM Mk2 and I) down. One day she told me to get my act together and make a change. With her help (marriage is a team sport) i did. Like you I now have my own business, it's far from easy, and, financially, we are a good 5 figures £'s worse off per year but, far, far more wealthy in other ways - that's a long winded way of suggesting you need to make a change and that you need to consider it's much more than £ notes that make life happy. 😉

Oh, don't think Relate has been mentioned?
That could be a thought for you in the coming weeks as, hopefully, things start to mend between you and your wife (and you and yourself - seems you could use a full service and MOT as well).
Chris

Well she turned up with my daughter to collect some clothes etc, I told her that my daughter will stay with me today and overnight, oh boy she didn't like that even saying that she will turn up with the Police.

Anyway I stood my ground, she said she would check on me this evening to make sure I hadnt been drinking, something that never bothered her before when I looked after my daughter when the she was st the gym, out with freinds etc.

I mentioned Relate, she wasn't interested.

she can call the Police but they cannot do anything other than check on safety so make sure you are not pissed tonight just in case.

You both have parental responsibility and there is no court order in place to dictate who has your daughter on which day etc.

Sorry mate but you're coming across as a bit of a prat. You may be hurt and angry but if you want reconciliation you should just bite the bullet for a while.

Can't you see that she's not going to be interested in the likes of Relate with your current behaviour?

+1 druidh.

Now isn't the time to get into a fight, and using your daughter as a battleground?

Have a word with yourself.

Rubbish you have to stop with the confrontations, it doesn't do any of you any good at all. No booze in the house would be a good idea. If you need to speak vent or rant at someone then the Samaritans will always listen.

Your wife leaves you and takes your child and you expect a non emotional reactions.....really you expect to much Druidh
He has only got cross at the situation, insisted he sees his child and suggested that they go to relate...your are right what a ****ing monster he is

really druidh i have a great deal of respect for you but I think you may better help him by leaving the thread than kicking him when he is down.

using your daughter as a battleground?

You are right just let her take the child and dictate when or if you can and cannot see her 🙄 Who is using the child as a pawn in the argument here the woman who left taking the child, is refusing /reluctant to let the dad see her or the father who just wants to see the child?

You are lucky bastards that you have never had to "battle" with an ex to see your kids and you are not helping.
He has two things to cope with the loss of a wife and the loss of the child. How will the wife react if he just refuses to let her see the child from now on..oh yeah she threatens the police ...is that reasonable ?

OP you do need to clam down as getting cross, whilst understandable, wont help but you have every right to see your daughter and she has no right to stop you whatever some folk on here think

Not using my daughter for anything, I want to be with her that is all, please bear in mind I'm on a very very steep learning curve here and my emotions are running very high.

And there is no alcohol in the house now.

I really must eat.

The best possible outcome here is whatever is best for your daughter. Not suggesting I know what that is, but please do think about her interests over yours at each decision point.

Try to be as adult as you can, I know it's difficult and I know a lot about this situation...

If your wife has left because she regards your behaviour (ie not you, but the way you are acting...) to be a problem, then getting into a confrontation is unlikely to help.

Your mind will be all over the place, and you can't be expected to think rationally, but arguing and using your daughter is not a good idea.

I'm out now, but I would advise you to do two things;

1. Ask your daughter what she wants to do today, and if she says see her mum, arrange it now.

2. Phone your wife and apologise for your behaviour this morning, don't attempt to justify it, don't get into any more arguments today.

Good luck.

Woke up at 7am and was still as angry as hell, drove over to her parents to see my daughter, I got angry and aggressive.

All I'm getting from you is you are a VERY angry and aggressive person! No wonder your wife has left...

Put the boot on the other foot for a moment. Whatever is making you angry and aggressive (the booze, the stress of work etc.) and would you put up with the same if roles were reversed?

Didn't do myself any favours, but what the hell am I supposed to do in this situation, how the hell can anyone expect me to be calm, 24 hours ago I had a family, now nothing.

LISTEN to what people are saying. You NEED to back off for a bit, be non confrontational, clean yourself up and become someone that someone else would want a relationship with again.

DO NOT GET ANGRY... Your Missus is only acting in self defence, she's not doing anything to hurt you intentionally at all, she's protecting herself and her child from what she perceives to be the menace right now! You need to see that what you have done, and are doing, is not normal behaviour!

I'd also suggest if she checks her emails regularly, email her a link to this thread. She might never have had any acknowledgment from you that you think you've got a problem, so for her to read that you realise you have and have seen the need to do something about it (though FFS, you're not going about it the right way yet!) could really show her you do care.

That said, don't know your Missus of course, how long has she had to put up with you like this? Might of course be that this was the straw that broke the Camel's back, and you are just too late...

I dont think Druidhs come across as a prat at all.

The OP,S marriage is clearly going down the pan,

By his own admittance he drinks to much, admits he can be moody, works all the time,and hasnt had a family holiday for over 17yrs.

Put your self in his wife's position.

when she does see her husband he,s drunk or moody/tetchy

When he's not at home he's working. or on call 24/7 so doesn't relax.

Not the best foundations for a relationship is it.

She,s called round today and you've had a big kick off and insisted your daughter stays with you overnight.

Imo you should get of the internet, go and take your daughter out for something to eat before you faint, and make sure she has a lovely 24hrs with her dad.

Hand her back tomorrow with a smile on her face, go out on your bike, and forget about your wife.

On monday you've got to go to the doctors and start the first step in sorting your life out.

Get rid of the booze.

Eat some food.

And for gods sake book a HOLIDAY

Regardless of how you feel, now is not the time for anger.

MB

.

She,s called round today and you've had a big kick off and insisted your daughter stays with you overnight.

Junkyard - thanks for the heads up. I'll take your advice and butt out - for both the OPs and my own sake 🙂

Having been there the worst thing is not seeing your children [ resolved now] that tends to get an emotional reaction
I will follow my own advice and also leave

OP if you want to mail me its in profile

That's a horrible situation to be in. I totally understand that you must be living in a whirlwind of emotion right now. I don't think right now is a good time to make demands on your wife.
Remember that she must have built her desire to leave over a long time, day by day adding bricks of negative thought to build the wall that now exists. You won't knock that wall over through force of will, and you will never pursuade your wife to do the same. You must dismantle it brick by brick and hope that she sees your efforts and comes to help you. That will take a long time. Even if she can't help, you will be left with a smaller wall, to the benefit of all 3 of you. I wish you luck.

Spot on MB

...whereas, your post is helpful GW?

Well she's asked to take our daughter back to her parents tonight, given the advice above I've agreed without much fuss, I guess it's a start.

She still is very determined it's over, the brick wall approach in richpenneys post makes a lot of sense.

Good call mate,i bet you are pretty down/angry but being reasonable with help with communication further on down the line.

The anger is subsiding, being with my daughter all afternoon has helped.

I would echo what everyone else has said. I have 2 young girls and I do feel for you, made me sad to read it. I would add though that you have to accept that you are not going to fix this straight away which is your knee jerk reaction. You want things back like they were (or how you thought they were)...No amount of begging or shouting will fix this You have to accept that whatever happens is going to take a bit of time. Im sure it's hard but you need to be on your very best behaviour for so many reasons, show your daughter, wife and everyone else the best man you can be, and stick with it. tall order im sure, good luck.

Good on yer.

Take your daughter back and give the wife some flowers and an apology, then leave and start getting yourself together.

Two things can happen; you can get back together or stay seperated, but either way you have to get your act together, and I hope it goes ok.

Its all very strange, I'm going from positive to negative and back again, pacing round and around the room.

I would try to sit down and write your wife a short letter, and I would say that you are very upset and hurt and that however things work out, you will try your best to be adult and sensible about things.

I would also address the issue of finance; I don't know your situation, but does she have access to money both for her and for your daughter?

If not, you need to set up some form of paying her, and do set it up, don't say 'I'll give you some', make sure she has access to it.

Things will be raw and painful for a while, this gives you lots of time to think.

Time to think can be bad as well as good...

Don't get to the point where you think the best thing to do is attempt to harm yourself; it doesn't solve anything.

Don't get pissed.
Don't sit and stew.
Do try to be productive or failing that go out for a long walk and let the anger and stress subside a bit.

Again; it all takes time to settle, so get your head around using the time to be a better person.

From bitter experience if she is already controlling your access to your daughter, refusing mediation being generous with money wont make any difference.

She will expect you to pay for sure [ she will be aware of your responsibilities towards her and the child but not necessarily hers towards you and the child]. Being over generous at the start helped me not one bit tbh in terms of seeing my kids which was all that mattered to me.

There are on line CSA calculators to work out what you should pay..they are based on overnight contact though.

Oi - junkyard!!!

Junkyard - Member
I will follow my own advice and also leave

Junkyard, I feel like we are representing different sides of the same coin; the best advice probably lies somewhere inbetween us.

I see that at the moment, all is not lost. Maybe that's too optimistic.

And there is no alcohol in the house now.

Well done, and as much as some of the advice on here may appear to be from 'Internet randoms', much of it appears worth reading and is worth listening to

I also can't imagine what I would do in this situation but I can also see from the point of view of your wife, she has taken a decision to split her family that must have been incredibly difficult and painful and may have taken years to come to. She is unlikely to just reverse that decision in an instant so it may be worth not asking her to quite yet.

I think I'm a bit more crikey than junkyard but I've never been through it so don't know

Its all very strange, I'm going from positive to negative and back again, pacing round and around the room.

Ok, that will be the Denial bit, that's only the first stage

Possibly I have no idea re getting back together but that is down to the OP/her.

However what gives a woman the right to walk out and then stop him having overnight stops with his child?
in what way is this reasonable ?

How would she react if he took the child to his mums and told her she could not have her overnight in the family home...oh yes she would call the police.

Its hard to be reasonable when someone is being unreasonable OP but good luck

Just a hug from me. That sounds horrible.

Please stop drinking. There are some people who just turn into something else on alcohol. My ex used to drink, get grumpy then nasty and then would behave as though nothing had happened in the morning. Even if you know (or hope) they don't mean it it gets you down eventually. And telling me that it was because we were close that he'd lash out was not (as I realised after years of feeling crushed) a compliment. It just made me miserable.

Everyone is different but if you're 'moody' when you drink, it's best avoided because you lose perspective on yourself and maybe don't realise how you come across.

Lots of people have said what to do on here. You've got to find a load of strength to do it. All the best.

Very sad situation for all concerned.

If the OP has been drinking a lot is a complete stop a good idea?

I think you've done really well to agree without much fuss. Remember as well that at this moment in time she will be absolutely determined that it's over. She has to be, because it could be the biggest decision of her life. Good news is that her feelings are not set in stone so don't treat them as much. I would see this as a massive wake up call, see where you can make improvements in your life and get help towards those aims.

The wife has picked our daughter up, I was calm and polite no snide remarks, I think I may have smiled but I'm not sure, I asked her was it just the drinking or had she gone off me, she said the drinking and a couple of broken promises I had made, but she didn't say she had gone off me, although yesterday she was saying I don't love you in the right way anymore, but yesterday we both said a lot of things.

I told her that I wanted to prove to her that I can be sober but didn't make any mention of trying to get back with her, as per the above advice I'm going to play the long game, she's coming back in the morning so I can have my daughter for half the day, hopefully I may find it in me to have a ride in the afternoon.

Anyway pizza ready to go in the oven and a bottle of bitter lemon chilling in the fridge, here's to the first night of sobriety for a while.

I'm not looking forward to going to bed though.

Think why you are doing it and nothing will be harder than the first night
Good luck and MTFU [ said in a nice supportive STW way]

Anyway pizza ready to go in the oven and a bottle of bitter lemon chilling in the fridge, here's to the first night of sobriety for a while.

Take it all one step at a time, you sound like you're doing the right things, in the right way, which is impressive enough given what you're going through.

You're right to take a longer term view because the situation hasn't just sprung up, so it will take time to fix.

Even if the worst happens, if she decides that she can't live with you, it's important that you maintain your sense of self, that you stay calm and focussed and above all adult.

Your daughter will learn from this event, and if I were you, I'd want my daughter to learn that I was able to recognise that I wasn't perfect but I would do my best to be.

I hope things get better which ever way it turns out; I've been there and things worked out ok for me.

You drink to much,

you think you have to work to much to pay bills for stuff you dont need,

you have a token wife and daughter, you dont spare time and effort to share with.

Relax, chill, slow the drinking, drink coke orrange, talk to your wife, and book a holiday mow, for all of you, and say bugger work for a while.

I don't have a lot to say, however after reading your thread, my wife left me in my dream last night... i too was very sad.

Big manly hugs mate.

If the OP has been drinking a lot is a complete stop a good idea?

The obvious suggestion would be to wait until he has seen his GP and had the importunity to discuss whether he needs medical support to prevent seizures/complications.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19670554

Surely every addict to a drug seem to strongly and only think that it is not intrusive upon a friendship/relationship.

If you genuinely are not drinking to excess and causing upset then it's her that maybe has the issues and maybe you should regain strength and take your daughter away froom the troubled mother.

I only read the 1st post and couldn't be assed with all the chin up, go for a ride, and the rest of that garbage as worse has happened but you never know, it may turn out the other way in a few weeks time once she knows your aware of your drink problem.

😐

Quit the booze for 2 weeks completely at least, you'll gain a fresh head and a lot clearer perspective on things for starters. Do it even just to see if you can. 2 bottles of wine/night every night is 140 units a week. This could be the rock bottom/wake up call you need. Or you could of course keep getting pissed and depressed and go further down the hole, you'd be surprised how deep it goes! Pull yourself out now, only you can do it and I suspect you know what needs to be done.

onceinalifetime..shit advice mate, and if you cant be bothered to read the thread, dont bother commenting...

Rubbish this must eb so tough mate and fairly easy for most of us to offer advice. Tougher on soem I guess as they've been in similar positions.
What I'd say is get focussed on using your clearly intense love for your daughter to make yourself a better man. I'd leave your wife to one side for now mate, get off the ale, do the right things by your little girl, see her when you can, give her back when you have to, don't use her as a tool and make the most of your time together. Be polite to all involved and be grateful you're been given time with her. Start getting arsey and angry and you might just find your ex makes it much more difficult to see her. Whilst you're doing good things mate she probably won't make it hard for you.
I reckon if you sort yourself out and prove yourself to be a good father your wife might wonder what she's done. And if she doesn't - move on - but keep your little girl your lifes priority and prove yourself to all involved mate.
I've got a 2 year old boy and a 5 year old girl and they mean everything to me. For them not to be around me every day would hurt like hell but take stock mate and keep sensible.
Good luck mate.

I reckon if you sort yourself out and prove yourself to be a good father your wife might wonder what she's done. And if she doesn't - move on - but keep your little girl your lifes priority and prove yourself to all involved mate.

Yep, I'm trying to be positive as I said above she is determined its over so we shall see.

Nice to have clear head, bit strange but it seems to be helping with the positive thoughts.

Rubbish
I made myself very sick due to consistent heavy drinking, about 60 pints of lager a week, I dried out with medical help.
That was five years ago, after about 12 months of being dry my mrs said that just before I was sick she was seriously thinking about leaving me and taking the kids.
I have fully recovered from the illness and can honestly say I have not missed the beer. My 'new' life is far better than my previous, I was very lucky and I am grateful to the superb medical staff and my GP.
You have got to stop the booze mate, and you will need medical help. Once the medical help is withdraw,n you will be on your own, it's hard but achievable. Treat it as a challenge. You have to repair yourself before a you can repair anything else
When you are dry I can guarantee your outlook will change, life will become good again and hopefully your family will get back together.
Didn't really want to reveal this on a bike forum but if helps you it's worth it.

Good luck, get help!

Thanks for your honesty cheekyboy.

If you do not plan to ditch alcohol entirely then the program described at the link below may help you cut down.

[url= http://www.howtodrinkless.com/index.php ]http://www.howtodrinkless.com/index.php[/url]

Not tried it myself but it has some good reviews.

Good luck - if you can convince your wife you are willing to change you will be in with a chance 🙂

Station Blues

and now she's gone
and I don't worry
cos I'm sitting
on top of the world

Awful thing to happen, but perhaps your wife thought she was left with no option? I'm an optimist, she could have walked out and not let you see your daughter for the last 2 days, but she has, and has talked to you as well.

Before you can fix your marriage you need to start fixing yourself, get help with the booze, but also work out what drove you to booze and working stupid hours, even if your marriage fails you still can't go on as you are.

I hope you can fix your marriage, good luck.

Well done for the sobriety so far, calm communication and self restraint have clearly improved the situation between you two.

Regardless of your relationship as husband and wife, you are a father and this situation will impact on your daughter far more than you realise.

1. As said; something needs to give work wise.
2. Seek medical help for the drink, it's not as simple as just stopping for many people.
3. Keep that temper controlled, respect is quickly lost and takes a long time to recover.
4. Be nice to yourself, there appears to be problems of control and I imagine you don't think the best of yourself which compounds the problems further. You are in control and you can make a difference. I reckon there may be more going on in your head than you realise, counselling may well help address why things have accumulated like this in your life.
5. Listen to your wife, it may be over with the person she was frustrated with 2 days ago but it sounds like you don't like being him either.

It's not going to be easy, but it sounds easier than the lifestyle you've somehow maintained. Keep us posted, you can get through this.

I wish you well and have no experience of your situation (apart from the excess drink and an unpredictable mood), but would like to add what have been the 2 most beneficial changes that I have made to my behaviour that leave me feeling good; a)stopped drinking and got steady, b)started saying yes more to friends, new experiences, opportunities.

You may find as the workload from your job is eased the urge to drink recedes. There are sound reasons why the EU settled on 48 hours for a maximum working week.

Good luck with getting it all sorted and well done for making a start. ( I found starting was the most difficult part with my life problems).

I don't mean to be a smart ass or hurt the OP, I genuinely mean this.

Half the forumers on here are not giving you good advice, I think a lot of you anger issues come from a lack of self esteem. I can see it in the way you talk about a few of your problems. At this vulnerable stage in your life you do not need to be listening to people putting you down, you do have problems but you are NOT a bad person. Your brain just needs some rewiring, you are suffering from chronic stress and anxiety due to the job - it's setting off your fight or flight mechanism (mostly the fight bit). The drinking is compounding this issue. The issues you are having are experienced by millions of people within Europe alone.

You need to see your GP and preferably a clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Good luck, hold tight.

Bwaarp ^^^^ is right - seek professional help/advice.

Internet forums can be silly/good.

Stay strong rubbish!

Not much I can say here but I'll post whether it's helpful or a boot in the baws to you ;O) but I know roughly what she must be feeling at times with the drinking every night/every other night.My bro used to drink a lot years ago and I dreaded it. I lost the plot one night and went off at him. Was sick of it.

She's had enough. Bolted. Not sure if she had or has gone off at you in the past or kept it in for too long (17 years?) but she's left. Ugh.

You say you had one week off in all that time with a few days here and there. You must sleep tensed up. Possibly frowning in your sleep. You need to realize that losing a bit of income on those days you have off add up to nothing each year. You need to take holidays. Something to look forward to. Time to relax the muscles and drain your mind from work evil. It's something that will clear your head for all of this and make you a healthier person amongst a hundred other things. The nice house and nice cars are.. nice,but not needed. What kind of car would you be downgrading to with the amount lost over 3 weeks holidays? Not really an issue right now but it all comes back down to why you must start taking holidays. It's only just dawned on me that as a couple,you have never been on holiday in 17 years..and as a family with your daughter,never been on holiday. How much would you lose out on a year by taking three weeks off? How big a deal is that when you look at the profit each year in the business? With a clearer head after three weeks off a year,you might start working a lot more efficiently too. BONUS!

Getting off the drink is one thing,sorting it out with family is another.. but you need to start taking time off or you'll end up with serious probs.Are you managing to do anything at work right now or would you agree that its pretty much a waste of time? Keep away from it for a few days and get the important stuff sorted out. I know you might say 'but my work IS important' but nowhere near as important as stopping a heart attack in its tracks.

Good luck.

I'm not sure if there's anything helpful that I can add..
I had a massive drink problem for years, which I have managed to overcome, but I drank for the sheer hell of it and had few responsibilities financially or emotionally..

It's a tough challenge though, and what Martinxyz has written above is fundamental I think.. because if you are going to undertake the challenge, you will have to work very hard to find a good and healthy balance between self discipline and being gentle and kind and compassionate to yourself..

Managed to get off to sleep at about 3am although I think I was drowsing before hand darkness was difficult when I shut my eyes all I could think about / see were my wife and daughter, woke up at 6.30am, a moment of crushing reality hit and I felt a very strong feeling of panic, realising that after this morning I won't see my daughter for over a week, I will see my wife a couple of times through work related issues.

However one good thing I have is clarity, no hangover although desperate inside I'm thinking quite clearly, I've even had work calls this morning whilst I moaned at the phone ringing but I felt on top of the problem I had to deal with solved it, did the washing up and made a cup of tea, even dusted some furniture as I don't want my wife to think I'm going to let the house go to ruin.

Psychological help is the way forward here, as above I think I have a self esteem problem maybe even self destructive, I need to find out why.

I want to sit down with my wife and tell her all this when she arrives this morning but I don't want to feel I'm trying to badger her, she already knows I was sober last night as did my mum who burst into tears when I told her I had poured the last bottle of wine down the sink.

Re the time off work, sadly that just can't happen for now.

Here's to another day, sorry for off loading on here but it really is helping.

good luck this morning.

Sounds like you may have already passed rock bottom. Good luck for the journey ahead - hope it leads to good places. Go for a ride today - its a lovely day no matter what else you have going on.

Yeah. I have no advice to offer, but good luck. I wish u all the best with this.

Go for a ride today - its a lovely day no matter what else you have going on.

Part of me wants to, part of me doesn't also I have hardly eaten since Friday so I don't think I will have the energy, I'm also likely to be massively dehydrated.

I have hardly eaten since Friday so I don't think I will have the energy, I'm also likely to be massively dehydrated

Heh, a full English would be hard to eat at the best of times! I've had a couple of digestives and 3 cups of tea so far today, about all I can manage at the moment.

Does anyone know what the procedure will be with the Doctor? I don't think I need medical assistance to kick the drink I'm not having any physical problems, but will he refer me to an Psychiatrist? What else will happen? What question can I expect?

A Prof-fate says, get out on the bike and get the endorphins flowing.
Just get out of the house and outside (natures a good soother). Go for an easy pootle, take some food and just see where it takes you.

Mate, tbh I cannot and would not even like to imagine what you are going through, and therefore feel it would be wrong of me to give you any advice whatsoever.

However I have been reading this with interest, and I do feel for you. But despite the fact I've never met you before I must say reading your post about not drinking last night etc made me feel quite proud of you. You've made the first step, just keep at it.

Good luck today.
As others have said, a ride could clear your head a bit. But if you're struggling with motivation, at least get out the house and go for a walk. A bit of fresh air and sun will really do you good.
Again, good luck.

Bwaarp speaks a lot of help - professional help will really make a difference. However it seems you have started to take some big steps in the last 24 hours - admitting you have problems is a massive one! Carry on, stay as calm as you can and get through the days one by one. With effort things will start to change for the better.

Oh and go for a ride if you can - the outdoors can improve your perspective...

Take care,

J

Chin up Rubbish..onwards and upwards n'everything n'all that, not for the same reasons, but I gave up drinking a while ago, and after a bit you'll sleep better, feel better, think better..
Good luck... 🙂

Wow. Good luck to you I hope all this turns out well for you. Only immediate advice I can give you is get some healthy food down you - fruit and veg, some pasta, salmon etc. Small portions if you can't face eating. Give your body and brain the vitamins and energy they need right now. I had a stressful time at work a year ago and eating healthily was the most difficult thing but I also found that when I didn't I found it harder to sort out the solution, harder to relax, harder to sleep (i got another job by the way). I'm a big fan of fruit and veg to stay healthy - I sometimes take flak for eating a broccoli for breakfast when I feel run down!

Best of luck to you mate.

All the best with this mate, really feel for you. Don't be too hard on yourself.