TBH there’s a serbian proverb but tbh I’ve heard it anglicised in the past and it was told to me by DoD Mummy….
When poverty knocks at the door, love flies out the window
The motivator missing in that venn diagram is "need". I stopped work at 42 because I didn't need to work. The other three in the diagram didn't come into it. I've been poor, as in owning a bicycle which got me from one temporary job to the next - being on a survival income isn't comfortable, however I wasn't unhappy. Now there's enough to live comfortably without excess, yeah, I'm happy. I reckon need is the driver for most people if they are honest and a lottery win would end their careers.
I've had a troubled relationship with money most of my life. A huge amount of debt in my 20's and early 30's. Finally into my 40's and in a job that pays my worth, and the debt cleared, I still have anxiety and stress when spending money. Even when I can afford nice things, I fell quite bad afterwards and leads to more anxiety and stress.
But can confirm, the truly happy things in life, don't cost a penny.
When I was kid we were skint, but my Grandad was not. We'd go stay with him for weeks at a time in the holidays and it was amazing getting new clothes, going out for meals, living a Swallows and Amazons childhood (he lived in the wilds of North Wales but also near the sea). He didn't spend loads but it was clear he didn't worry for money.
My Dad got a much better paid job when I was about 12 and it turned my folks life around. We had food in the fridge, went on UK family holidays and I clearly remember getting the Saisho dual cassette and radio player I wanted for Christmas!
Me and Mr Kip are doing OK, we have good jobs and savings but I still constantly worry about money as it's rubbish not having it. We don't have to worry if things break as we can afford to replace them, but don't tend to spend on the big things that really need doing because that would deplete our savings.
Would more money make me happier, yes because we could fix the house up properly. Would even more? Yes because then we could move to a nicer house in a nicer spot. Beyond that, I don't need much and can find happiness in the smallest things, including sitting on the back of the van with the tailgate up watching the sunset over the nearest beach.
My previous job I worked for a Times rich list HNW family, wealth built up over generations, there’d be no way I’d ever want to be a part of that family and have their money. None of them appeared to be happy at all and I was so glad to leave that place.
My current employers (small family business) are multimillionaires, they are the complete opposite.. a loving, caring family, I think of them more like friends than my bosses. They have worked hard, and continue to do so, I’ve a lot of respect for them, and know that if they lost everything they’d still be lovely, happy people.
Me? Skint. Would love enough to buy my own place, that’d make me happy.
We both worked hard earlier in our careers to get rid of the stress of money; pay off mortgages, get rid of all debt, put aside enough for our daughters future etc. Once that was done we both took a huge hit financially to go part time as we didn’t want the next big house, the new luxury car, the insanely expensive holiday. Once you are past that initial stress of money, which isn’t easy, and you prefer simple things in life especially the outdoors, I don’t think money makes any difference. But below that point, life can be challenging at best. I realise we are very very lucky and we do remember harder, less happy times. Slightly separately, it’s not just the money that determines happiness, so many things have an impact for each of us, and not necessarily the same things.
