Modern [s]Day[/s] Life?

'S rubbish, innit?

I don’t consider myself depressed but see so many people through work that have depression and mental health issues that I wonder whether we really have it that good.

why are there so many people who have mental health issues and struggle to see the positive side of life.

Haven't there always been? We are just more aware and accepting of it now? I imagine in the past it would have been ignored or someone would have just been perceived as a grumpy old sod. Think about the amount of people with mental health issues post the various wars for a start.

My opinion is that we probably have it better than any other past generation...

do we?

(and who is we?)

There has been a quantum shift in our expectations.

We now expect by default to be happy, to be rich, to have an interesting and fulfilling job, to be healthy, safe and for life in general to be easy.

The disparity between the expectation (heavily influenced by the media) and the grim reality, combined with increased awareness of mental health, is driving the explosion of depression, anxiety etc.

I have been wondering how life was like for my parents and their parents when they hit the same sort of age

I turn 40 next year. My mam turned 40 in 1999. I don't think life has changed that much since then, other than my internet connection is a lot faster and mobile phones are cheap.

😉

I am firmly convinced that time increasingly spent looking at screens/endless pulp is behind most of the misery today. Have known a good many ppl (self included) whose quality of life and mental health/outlook were adversely affected by increased time on FB, forums (many of which are magnets for foaming, hyper-polarising narcissistic/misanthropic wa*kathons*), endless gadget-comparisons, bottomless virtual baskets and wish-lists. Combine this with working lives often attached to screens and we have an epidemic of disconnectedness and dissatisfaction.

ymmv

*not here of course 8)

I think our 'ease of access to information' is a blessing and a curse.

For example; In 'olden days' when it rained, you, your neighbour, and the cows, all got wet. You accepted this, and all lived with it.
Now, when it's raining, I (as in, all of us) can see beautiful images of bone dry trails half way around the world. this makes me envious, upset, and creates a "got-want" divide which leads to unhappiness and unease..

The same for wealth and housing and cars etc.

We all can see the 'greener grass' (Though in reality, it's not greener, but the 'lens' used is).
Facebook etc - no-one posts the 'real life' they are living. And IF they do, we moan and say 'take that down'.

I've got friends who emigrated to Oz - their 'Facebook life' looks so amazing i want to fly over there now an eat it up...
However, they only show sunshine and happiness. Never the loneliness, never the pain and frustration of the endless heat, differing lifestyle etc (as example).

Technology and the net are great, but also responsible for a lot of the 'ills' in this world...

DrP

I think that we have so much more information now,that we are more aware of the complexity of some situations,mental health,sexuality,relationships and modern poverty.
There's no way back from broadminded.

I am firmly convinced that time increasingly spent looking at screens/endless pulp is behind most of the misery today.

We've devised a way of life where the winner is the person who dies with the most toys. It's no wonder so many people are miserable.

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THere is a generational confusion between "want" and "need".

My parents generation "wanted" to provide their kids with everything that they "needed".
That was society's expectation of good parenting.
If your kids made it to 18 alive, fed, clothed and educated then it was a job well done.

There is massive pressure on my generation to fulfill the "need" to give our kids everything that they "want".

If your kids make it to adulthood and can't sit in their BMW 1 series and use the latest iphone to post online about their ability to speak three languages, play a musical instrument and achieve sporting greatness at university then you are made to feel that you've kinda failed as a parent.

My opinion is that we probably have it better than any other past generation...

We got less than that

what is worse is that my kids will get even less.

Zero hours contracts, expensive education and unaffordable housing

A teacher today will leave uni with 50 k ish debts and then has to work in that there london for 28K - who would want that offer?

I think its worse

We do have better toys and cheaper white goods

a TV cost more in 1982 than now for example

Haven't there always been? We are just more aware and accepting of it now? I imagine in the past it would have been ignored or someone would have just been perceived as a grumpy old sod. Think about the amount of people with mental health issues post the various wars for a start.

My opinion is that we probably have it better than any other past generation...

Nope, I think we're the first generation of a long decline in living standards for the masses.

Previous generation had secure long term jobs with pensions and benefits, free education, good life on a single salary etc eg bought a house, bought a car, went on holiday etc.

For the top 5% or so, things are still very good, and for the top 1% they're better than they've ever been. For 95% it's all downhill from here on...

What got me down recently was thinking about the daily grind of working life.
It stems from spending time out of work after redundancy, and though this was a low point in my life, I really bloody enjoyed the bit of freedom it gave me.
Then back into working in early 50s and what's it all for? Why do we have to go and do these meaningless jobs for other people's businesses, so they can earn millions and we can just about get by with some nice bikes and stuff? Why do we have to get up at the same time every weekday, back home same time every evening, then wow! 2 days to "relax" and do what we want (usually too many things we [i]have to do[/i] have mounted up, because these 2 days are the only time we get to do them!)?
Obviously this rat-race bollocks isn't the same for everyone, but jeez it's a miserable existence when you think about it (too much).

We've devised a way of life where the winner is the person who dies with the most toys. It's no wonder so many people are miserable.

But in terms of quality of life and available opportunities, both in work and play, I have had it far better than my parents did. I do miss the quiet roads of 40 odd years ago, though not the cars.

Obviously we live in society where most people’s standard of living is reasonable

define most and reasonable...

I don't think it's the case, personally. I think most of my immediate circle have a reasonable standard of living, but I don't think I'd have to go too far out of my way to find quite a bit of population who's wouldn't describe themselves as having a reasonable standard of living.

The graduates that I employ all have large debts, however they all have numerous foreign holidays, eat out at least 5 times a week, wear expensive clothes, drive expensive cars and moan about not being paid the salary of someone with 20 years experience..
[url= http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/generation-y-unhappy_b_3930620.html ]Its all about the perception of expectation and ignoring reality.[/url]
I have one graduate - drives a fancy BMW (lives with his mum) - has asked why he isn't in charge of a £15m project when he can't be trusted to do anything without lots of help from others.

I am firmly convinced that time increasingly spent looking at screens/endless pulp is behind most of the misery today

I sometimes yearn for an EMP or suchlike to take down the network, just for a day or two. Actually just transport us back to around 94 when the internet in the home, smart phones and computers doing EVERYTHING wasn't a thing.

It seems the fear of missing out has made us all miserable social junkies without actually speaking to anyone anymore

I don't think I'd have to go too far out of my way to find quite a bit of population who's wouldn't describe themselves as having a reasonable standard of living.

Try working in a pit or operating a press. You'd soon realise you have it unbelievably good.

I'm not miserable (not now) - just pointing out what I see makes people miserable today. Some people still work in pits and operate presses. Whether they are miserable or not is still of interest. I'm not saying that my parent's/grandparent's generations were happier working down a mine-shaft 16 hours a day (neither did they all work in a pit or mine), although they *may* have felt less disconnected and dissatisfied pre- 'gimme gimme gimme' / ' me-me-me meme' generation/s?

*I've had some mind-numbingly tedious (and toxic/stinky) factory jobs, but no, operating a press was not one of them.

A mixture really: some things are better, some are worse. Depending on your circumstances and how you react to them is probably as important.

The expectation that we can be happy all the time and have what we want regardless of cost either now or in the future is more likely to lead to unhappiness.

People seem to expect that a job is going to be interesting day in, day out and the general working environment will be nirvana. Many years ago I was told that no matter what job you did, 90% of it would be mundane, 5% crap and 5% interesting. Having done work in lots of different areas that isn't too far out, no doubt there are jobs that are exceptions to this but it's a reasonable starting point.

For me it's lack of time....& too much stuff to try & do in that time...spend time with family.......get 'household jobs' done.....get DIY/home improvement stuff done.....wash cars (yeah, I know 🙄 )......gardening......garden maintenance (paint fences, repair shed roof etc.)

And none of that is particularly extravagant/time consuming stuff. It's not like I'm building a Pagoda from teak in the garden and adorning it with a handmade mosaic tile floor & stained glass windows...it's just the usual crap like put the laundry away, cut the grass, sort through bills & statements etc....

Then there's the whole 'social media' lives that 'friends' seem to live - constant photo's of nights out, flash cars, holidays on white sandy beaches.....I try & ignore all that crap because I know most of it either isn't real or is just accumulating debt that I'd rather not get involved in...

Some interesting comments on Mental Health there. I work for one of the Emergency Services and Mental health is a massive issue for us and we’re all made aware of its importance.

A good starting point for anyone interested is http://www.mind.org.uk/workplace/mental-health-at-work/taking-care-of-yourself/five-ways-to-wellbeing/

They'd be wrong though. They just don't understand how most of the world lives and how lucky they are.

There's always someone who is worse off. It doesn't have any relevance to the OP's hypothesis.

Technology has given us more opportunities and the world has become more accessible to us all but on the same hand we've all become withdrawn from whats important....looking out for each other, we're far more selfish these days and in fact it makes our world smaller and us less emotionally developed. 🙁

It doesn't help when people are being constantly bombarded with 'BUY THIS NOW!' promotions.Just look at the list of black friday eMails that you got today.
Is it any wonder that the weak willed fall in to the trap.
Spend yourself happy 🙄
🙁

Stuff To Blow Your Mind podcast recently released an episode entitled [url= http://www.stufftoblowyourmind.com/podcasts/social-media-insanity.htm ]Is Social Media Driving Us Insane?[/url], a good listen.

[i]constant photo's of nights out, flash cars, holidays on white sandy beaches....[/i]

I'm glad that one thing I've never cared about is what [i]other people[/i] are doing. Whether they have it worse or better than me doesn't effect how my life is. Jealousy certainly is a foreign concept to me.

They'd be wrong though. They just don't understand how most of the world lives (or how previous generations lived) and how lucky they are.

That sort of comment is only ever made by someone who isn't struggling to make ends meet.

Just look at the list of black friday eMails that you got today.

I got none. Unsubscribe and never see one again.

Technology has given us more opportunities and the world has become more accessible to us all but on the same hand we've all become withdrawn from whats important....looking out for each other, we're far more selfish these days and in fact it makes our world smaller and us less emotionally developed.

^ +1

That sort of comment is only ever made by someone who isn't struggling to make ends meet.

I barely recognise the life I had before the late 1990s, the internet going mainstream changed everything for modern society. Back then, I had to walk to the high street to buy anything, to have a chat meant phoning them or meeting in person, while playing with mates involved going to the local playing fields. Even finding a girlfriend meant walking up to a complete stranger, now you can live chat to someone who is allegedly a girl before you meet up in person!

So is it just the access to modern technology that is actually causing the general feeling of low mode as we constantly compare ourselves to other peoples gloriously happy lives that we all feel we are not achieving the same level of supposed greatness?

Possibly, but still right. Compared to previous generations or other countries struggling here is very different to struggling there.

I suspect that neither you nor I have the slightest clue what it's like. It's also completely irrelevant to someone who doesn't have enough cash for their heating pre-payment card.

I suspect that neither you nor I have the slightest clue what it's like. It's also completely irrelevant to someone who doesn't have enough cash for their heating pre-payment card.

There are a lot of modern expectations that contribute to this, some of them might be:

Every one has a "right" to happiness. No, happiness is what you get if you are lucky

Material wealth = success = happiness. There are other measures of wealth and other measures of success.

Everyone has a right to a perfect relationship. Relationships need to be worked at and there's no such thing as Mr or Mrs perfect.

Makes putting a jumper on less of a worry (and everyone put a jumper on rather than run central heating then anyway).

Still do this. In-laws complain that our house is cold. We complain that theirs is a sauna!

Go back a couple of generations and you'd watch your children die through lack of healthcare. Makes putting a jumper on less of a worry (and everyone put a jumper on rather than run central heating then anyway).

Again, the sort of comment made only by someone who doesn't struggle to make ends meet.

Everything was much simpler in the good old days.

At least people haven't changed, though. 😉

[i]Again, the sort of comment made only by someone who doesn't struggle to make ends meet[/i]

Point? Are you trying to turn this into a competition?

Go back a couple of generations

whilst this is undoubtedly true, it's a totally pointless and irrelevant comparison.

whilst this is undoubtedly true, it's a totally pointless and irrelevant comparison.

+1

Why not go back 10 and say well at least you're not being burnt at the stake for being a Christian, or fed to the lions?

So what?

There's a lot of justification for peoples worries, on the otherhand, there's an awful lot of people that like to think they are a victim.

It's all a mixed bag. You can't just say life in the UK is great, get over it.

Point? Are you trying to turn this into a competition?

For the hard of thinking: https://www.logicallyfallacious.com/tools/lp/Bo/LogicalFallacies/155/Relative-Privation

trans: a competition is the opposite of my point.

I think one of the main reasons is the disconnect many folk have with the outside world. The only time many folk go outside is to get into their car. That and a lack of exercise. couple this with the impossible expectations given by the TV and media and you have a perfect storm of dissatisfaction, depression and disconnect with reality

On another note then and as I'm 40 and get more and more frustrated with modern day life and social media. Does that mean that I am just being a grumpy bugger because I preferred when people interacted or is this just a phase of middle age?
Additionally - should I worry about my children's addiction to Social media or is it me being over protective because it wasn't part of my life at their age. I personally think, as they know no different and are coping well with it the addiction to technology is OK for them because its become the norm?

Whether the average person is better off these days, or not, I don't think these are happy times.
- Inequality has become worse
- Sense of community has decreased / selfishness has increased
- technology is a dependency rather than a benefit

Both leading to a gap for current populist politics to abuse.

Need a good old war to bring back some perspective, bring communities together and have something real to worry about rather than what someone has posted on Facebook.

Or maybe everyone should try Buddhism.

Society just wants instant gratification, and society can get this. However, the cost isn't usually factored in at the point of gratification. When payment is required, things turn a bit sour.

I am just being a grumpy bugger because I preferred when people interacted

there's been lots of evidence recently that social media specifically has made the lives of some stay-at-home mums much better connected and provided the sort of community experience that some felt they lacked.

There's a lot of justification for peoples worries, on the otherhand, there's an awful lot of people that like to think they are a victim.

+1

we also have very short memories.....was it really better back then? As humans we always tend to have something to 'moan' about, it's the way we're programmed. 🙁

There is a big generational gap at the moment (evident on STW) those that caught the 90/00's property boom, nearly free education etc. and those that came after.
Housing inequality among other things mean those that can do better those that can't will never catch up.

There was a politician locally who had a go at millennials for wasting their cash on smashed avocado for breakfast etc. when they should be saving up all their money to buy a house (incidentally the house that the complainer had significantly increased the value of by doing nothing at all) what is failing is addressing the reasons for this.

there's been lots of evidence recently that [s]social media [/s] STW specifically has made the lives of some [s]stay-at-home mums[/s] bored-at-work dads much better connected and provided the sort of community experience that some felt they lacked.

FTFY

There is a big generational gap at the moment (evident on STW) those that caught the 90/00's property boom, nearly free education etc. and those that came after.
Housing inequality among other things mean those that can do better those that can't will never catch up.

Well, quite. Young, educated people in decent jobs and from secure backgrounds have little prospect of owning a home and will not have enough money in retirement. It's hardly surprising that they're choosing to live for today...

it's hardly surprising that they're choosing to live for today...

......i just hope by the time i'm due to retire euthanasia is a viable/legal option!

....did i take that too far?

......i just hope by the time i'm due to retire euthanasia is a viable/legal option!

......i just hope by the time i'm due to retire euthanasia is a viable/legal option!

it is viable/legal today as long as you are willing to travel.

Objectively we've never had it so good. Just be selective.

If your kids make it to adulthood and can't sit in their BMW 1 series and use the latest iphone to post online about their ability to speak three languages, play a musical instrument and achieve sporting greatness at university then you are made to feel that you've kinda failed as a parent.

Bad:
BMW 1 (a Zoé would be acceptable, a bicycle better)
iPhone (nowt wrong with a WIko or whatever for 150e)
Being a slave to technology

Good:
languages
Playing a musical instrument
A sporting activity (not everyone can be on the winning team)
Using IT wisely (I'm maintaining my English and keeping up with what's "trending" (puking smiley) right now).

Think for yourself, don't be a victim and it's a great world.

I've noticed a lot of posts depicting technology as a dependency or addiction which I suspect isn't actually true at all. The sheer quantity of applications that a smartphone or tablet computer has needs to be remembered. For many people that one device has replaced the telephone, hand written communication, books & magazines, personal music players, maps, camera, hand held video games, the watch, bike computer/pedometer... Now think of all the time that an older person (me very much included at 38) would have spent doing all those different things using different devices.

If your kids make it to adulthood and can't sit in their BMW 1 series and use the latest iphone to post online about their ability to speak three languages, play a musical instrument and achieve sporting greatness at university then you are made to feel that you've kinda failed as a parent.

don’t have the fear of war, rationing, high unemployment and have relative safety

War, I fear it. Trump? Putin? China? Korea?

Rationing - not per se, but feeding an exponential population with high demand for meat is a big problem. Also [url= https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/nov/25/displaced-people-refugee-nigeria-starvation-death-un-boko-haram ]this kind of thing [/url]in the news right now will only exacerbate mass migration.

High unemployment - automation on a mass scale is on the way.

Relative safety - apart from serious cyber threats and well organised terror organisations.

[url= https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/25/13-crises-we-face-trump-soil-loss-global-collapse ]Etc etc etc[/url]

'Twas ever thus.

I'm sure every generation looks back on previous ones and wonders whether the good back then outweighed the bad and compares that to their present setup.

It's interesting to do it though, and for some it makes them feel better, for others worse. Ultimately life for most of us is a struggle, it's just the problems that manifest themselves change a bit.

I've noticed a lot of posts depicting technology as a dependency or addiction which I suspect isn't actually true at all.

Indeed, there's a circularity to media articles about the "new" technology of the time and how it will ruin society. Go back 150years ago it was the magazine/periodical that had killed conversation, then the radio, then the telly, then computer games, now smart phones...

There's nothing new under the stars.

It all went downhill with powered looms!

Should never have left the primordial soup!

I actually think the 50s where probably (I'm too young to remember) in many ways the happiest of times for many. End of post war austerity, living standards rising, expectations lowish and then expectations exceeded for many.

I have to say facebook is a boon for me. I have friends all over the UK and have reconnected with quite a few of them - and family as well. Its no substitute for real conversation but its better than none.

I actually think the 50s where probably (I'm too young to remember) in many ways the happiest of times for many.

Seem to remember it being mid 70's.
- Technology at a good level but not interfering
- starting to get the hang of gender and race
- equality at it's highest point
- brave clothes, especially menswear!

Now think of all the time that an older person (me very much included at 38) would have spent doing all those different things using different devices.

Interesting thought.

I remember before smartphones and PCs (a child of the 70s) and I didn't have access to the internet until circa 97 by which time I had already passed thirty. I remember having oodles of time to ride my bike, check the newspaper, listen to records/tapes and even use a compass. I was making music on an Atari PC using Cubase and that sucked up loaaaaaads of time. That time is now filled with txts from ppl, filing and culling 1000s of digital pics and also feeding my [s]addiction[/s] desire to follow links...