Is a Louise involved!?
Tinder is always the answer to whatever the question is.
I always wanted it to be a Lotus Elise S2. But I don't have that kind of money.
My OH (after going through menopause) understands why some men have them 🙂
stcolinFree Member
I always wanted it to be a Lotus Elise S2. But I don’t have that kind of money.
That's a good point; there used to be Loads of Elises' running around on the roads but I've not seen one in years. Have they all been wrapped around trees by now?
On a slightly less jovial note.
Yes OP. Well, not been through, going through. It's awful. I dread weekends and ....
Ah fuggit. Just yes. Not going into details but yes.
Ducatti is the correct answer.
I'm 39 and can feel one coming on. At what age is it appropriate to start?
Ducatti is the correct answer.
I'd prefer a Triumph.
That’s a good point; there used to be Loads of Elises’ running around on the roads but I’ve not seen one in years. Have they all been wrapped around trees by now?
I'd imagine quite a few ended up that way. Plenty as track cars. But they've kept sneaking up in value and a decent one is now £20-25k. Numbers keep dwindling too.
I'm hoping I've accepted it for what it is before I make any really rash decisions, but it's not a fun place to be.
It feels like somewhere between work, kids, and marriage I've lost whatever 'me' was, and now I'm not sure what it was in the first place!
*This is the therapy forum, right?!
A mate of mine who has just turned 50 is currently doing the whole internet dating game (he's unattached so not like that) and has about 7 women on the go (or in the pipeline as he likes to say), as well as caning the booze and party drugs. A mutual female friend accused him of having a midlife crisis, to which I replied that he's not, he's just having a midlife. 🤷♂️
If it flies, floats or, erm, provides ‘emotional support’, rent it.
My dad had a small one. Bought a MGTF 160, then a couple of years later a new Mini - not the BMW one.
Vans and a dangerous hobby is where it is at. Just bought my second van to allow me to spend more time doing the latter.
I was happily working in a bike shop till 2020 with no real thoughts of retirement any time soon, then Covid happened, I am immune surpressed (Ulcerative Colitis) so going back to work when it was over was more of a risk, next thing I moved to Portugal (daughter already lived here) and am now happily grandparenting (someone had a plan!) for my newest 'neta'. It's been a tough few years and things could've been really rough but all in all it's all panned out quite nicely. I still feel a bit like I should be doing a 'job' sometimes but then I think 'where would I find the time!'
I have a couple of friends nearby that are in similar positions and the cafe culture over here lends itself to a lot of chatting.
I, too, wanted an Elise. Unfortunately one of my daughters has got into horses. By the time she's 18, I think I could have bought myself about five bloody Elises. And my wife keeps moaning about why we don't get to go to nice places like Thailand on holiday. Errr....
What are you looking for? You are still the same person you always have been but you have grown, you are still defined by your work, your family and your relationships, overall your achievements and interactions with others. What do you feel you have lost?
I'm a HR Systems Manager, a dad, a granddad, a husband, sometimes a cyclist, definitely a canoeist. None of these things totally defines me. I look back before these things (and to be honest) I was a bit of idiot - do I want to relive my youth, hell no. Would I like a mistress or fast car, nope. Don't think I could improve on the woman I have and going fast is overrated.
What is the problem?
OP you've come to the right place....
Didn't think I'd had one, but then there were a few years after my mother died when I spent most weekends surfing, saying in vans in carparks round the country hanging out with guys in smelly neoprene.
I don't regret that but I do regret not spending more of that time with my kids.
I used that as justification for buying a house on the coast (realise I've now lost the room if I hadn't before), on grounds that the kids can come too. Then spent more weekends renovating the bugger. Looked round and the kids were teenagers with no desire to go off for a boring weekend with parents.
My mid-life crisis turned into a Honda CRV and commercial pilot training (for son2). Horses look cheap compared with flying. Anyway, what one needs for any crisis is… a new bike!
in my case I’ve been surveying track superbikes, and not the ICE variety.
As I’m effectively behaving the same as I have for the last 50 years, and I’m 70 in July, I haven’t reached that point yet. I’m continuing to add to my tattoo collection, a couple more are being added next Tuesday. 😁
Yeah, I bought a jump bike last year, DMR Trailstar same as my youth. I've also got back into skateboarding. Got to be cheaper than a sports car. Better for the environment too.
As for an affair/new wife, that sounds like entirely too much hassle. I'm also rather attached to the current model.
It's deffo a thing, just don't let it get in the way of enjoying life as it is currently, which is probably better than you think.
Feeling like I'm going to have one soon. Kids mostly grown up, impending separation with the OH.
Not sure what form it should take, currently leaning towards lots of gigs and expensive (for me) hi-fi. Not got anywhere to store a fancy sports car yet - maybe that'll have to wait a few years until I get a new house with a garage.
I always wanted it to be a Lotus Elise S2. But I don’t have that kind of money.
I was just thinking the other week that Caterhams were quite reasonable value at the moment...
I do what I want when I want
Whatever your description is of that matters not
Definitely in it.
Buying my way out of it isn't something that's entered my head. (Though now you mention it restoring an old Midget or BGT or something would be fun.)
For me it's manifested as a questioning of everything. The realisation that I'm perhaps not the person I thought I was, and that I've probably been kidding myself about a few things over the years. That things I once liked or felt were important actually aren't. However, the biggie has been this growing sense of the fragility of everything around me. I've led a lucky and charmed life, but things are now starting to get real - illness, elderly parents, losing mates, changing relationships, career questions, money worries... all of that stuff. And it's all left me feeling a little floaty, dreamy and lethargic tbh. Like I'm disappearing from every day life. I mean, I'm obviously not, that would be weird. But, yeah it's a weird feeling.
Not a crisis as such. A new perspective on things perhaps?
I would bloody love a midlife crisis (the buy a stupid car kind), but it's more realistically a "vanishingly small chance of a retirement age crisis dependent on how much I am being rinsed by my kids for university/housing/vehicles etc at that point"
Having re-read that, it sounds waaaaaay more dramatic than it should!
Definitely in it.
Buying my way out of it isn’t something that’s entered my head. (Though now you mention it restoring an old Midget or BGT or something would be fun.)
For me it’s manifested as a questioning of everything. The realisation that I’m perhaps not the person I thought I was, and that I’ve probably been kidding myself about a few things over the years. That things I once liked or felt were important actually aren’t. However, the biggie has been this growing sense of the fragility of everything around me. I’ve led a lucky and charmed life, but things are now starting to get real – illness, elderly parents, losing mates, changing relationships, career questions, money worries… all of that stuff. And it’s all left me feeling a little floaty, dreamy and lethargic tbh. Like I’m disappearing from every day life. I mean, I’m obviously not, that would be weird. But, yeah it’s a weird feeling.
That so sounds like me, thanks for posting!
I am no longer fit for purpose, the thing i am has been just what my other half needed for 30 years. Now my other half needs something else.
What i need is irrelevant.
I do what I want when I want
Funny, that's exactly what my wife said. Sounds so easy when you write it down, but for me I can't see how it's realistic. Very glad to hear it's not just me trudging through this though.
oldmanmtb2
I am no longer fit for purpose, the thing i am has been just what my other half needed for 30 years. Now my other half needs something else.
What i need is irrelevant
I went through something similar a few years ago, the thing that helped me was to try to remember that I knew things would in time get better even if it was impossible to believe that they ever would.
And to remind myself that all things that are happening do in time become things that happend.
It was the fact that the very worst had happened that actually gave me the confidence to meet people and go on dates, something I'd never actually done in my life until I was in my 50's and something as a young man would of terrified me.
My ex wife and I get on well, I don't think we ever lost respect for each other and I know we still care about each other but I just was no longer what she needed. It was utterly devastating at the time and came out of nowhere for me but that was probably just my failure to notice the signs
I hope that one day soon this for you will be something that happened and not something that is happening
I’m too tired and skint to have a midlife crisis. Lost all interest in life so no idea what one would even entail. I just sort of go through life and look forward to sleeping. Used to be a really sociable person and now jus want to sleep as it means not having to think or interact with the world. The downside being that sleeping just leads to another day of the same shit.
That’s a good point; there used to be Loads of Elises’ running around on the roads but I’ve not seen one in years. Have they all been wrapped around trees by now
around 10 to 15 years ago a lot went to Australia because their $ was strong and the Elise was cheap.
Radio 4 and a shed.
Though fancy selling the rental and buying a 964.... just ****ing cos.
