Do cinemas bother to run the film if there is nobody in the auditorium?
Odeon Rochdale are showing the same single seat booked for both of their Friday screenings.
Thinking of taking the scouts?
Looking at that we could probably take the whole District.
Described by one critic as "so bad that if they showed it on a plane, people would still walk out".
Thats brilliant. I'm using that.
I'm sure FIFA will be awarding her an Oscar.
Described by one critic as "so bad that if they showed it on a plane, people would still walk out".
🤣
According to wiki she earned 28million dollars from it..
What's it about?
There’s some great stuff on social media taking the piss out of this. Yeah it’s yet another grift, and a further justification to avoid giving any money to Amazon, but for someone who relishes the attention it’s absolutely brilliant that it’s bombing. I have nooooo clue why it’s being shown in the UK though.
the whole film is just a way of funneling a bribe to the Trumps. I am astonished its being shown at all in the UK.
I like Stuart Heritage’s take on it in yesterday’s Guardian, which includes describing Melanie as having “convinced a quisling media corporation to finance a $40m ego massage during a tipping point of global insecurity instigated largely by [her] husband, but you can’t blame a woman for trying.”
I'll wait for Kermode to tell me what to think.
I though this was just a film that unfortunately had the same name as the first lady, I didn't realise it was actually about her.
The only problem with deciding if this could possibly be worse than United Passions, is that I would not only have to watch one but both, and that is not a hit I am willing to take for the team.
...you’ll probably end up skipping Melania to watch something less depressing, like Die My Love or a documentary about asbestos inhalation...
This made oi larf... 😁
I have nooooo clue why it’s being shown in the UK though.
It might need a theatrical release in the UK to get a BAFTA.
The only problem with deciding if this could possibly be worse than United Passions, is that I would not only have to watch one but both, and that is not a hit I am willing to take for the team.
Can't we just default to use the same criteria that the protaganists in each film would embrace?
Who spaffed the most millions of other peoples money on their unhinged vanity project?
I am astonished its being shown at all in the UK.
Supposedly at 100 cinemas and a suspicion the cinemas are being paid to play it.
I guess its cheap at the price though for Bezos.
Odeon Rochdale are showing the same single seat booked for both of their Friday screenings.
Perhaps it's not on in Clacton
The thing I don't get about these vanity projects is that having a film made about me, then seeing pictures of myself and mongrammed stuff with my initials on everywhere is the kind of thing I wake up screaming about in the middle of the night. Its the ultimate nightmare.
How detached from reality would you have to be to actively want this kind of thing? You'd have to be absolutely hatstand!
Are you sure that seat is booked rather than being broken?
Well that's the obvious boring answer, but my money is on Melania herself booking the seat so she can see the crowd reaction.
You know I would pay to see this if I knew the only other person in the audience was gonna be The Frogfaced Racist.
How detached from reality would you have to be to actively want this kind of thing? You'd have to be absolutely hatstand!
I'd probably force myself, for $48m. Probably unlikely to be offered, though, I guess.
but my money is on Melania herself booking the seat
Can't say that I've seen her bobbing about on Sandbrook Retail Park, but I'm tempted to hang around on Friday to see if The Beast shows up.
Does the film answer the one question I'd ask....was it really worth marrying Trump?
Interesting article on how Melania! The Movie came into being. You're going to be astonished to hear that the director hangs out at Mar-a-Lago, has relationships with unsavoury Middle Eastern authoritarian leaders, and has been repeatedly accused of sexual misconduct. I don't understand what the Trump family sees in him.
how-once-banished-producer-brett-ratner-staged-hollywood-comeback
Comeback or dead-cat bounce? Time will tell.
Does the film answer the one question I'd ask....was it really worth marrying Trump?
Mrs Merton would be all over that.
There's been a surge overnight!
Or perhaps another seat got broken.
Just checked the earlier screening.
Broken seat.
Nah, 2 lovers on a secret tryst, booking seats apart to not raise suspicions in the knowledge that no one else will be stupid enough to watch the film.
Apparently Melania is upset because the screening of her film at Mar-A-Largo was overshadowed by the murder of Pretti. So in answer to your question @binners, that's how detached from reality you need to be. Detached enough that you feel aggrieved that the death of another human is interrupting your big night with your lackeys and hangers-on
That second booking is a brave person going there for a dangerw##k...good grief, the depravity!
Better than Shawshank Redemption on IMDB.
In at a perfect 10. All the reviews are by Bezo's BTW.
Nah, 2 lovers on a secret tryst, booking seats apart to not raise suspicions in the knowledge that no one else will be stupid enough to watch the film.
Dunno. I think most people when challenged by a suspicious partner would blurt out they had gone to a Bonnie blue gangbang vs watching this movie. Probably less likely to get dumped as well.
I did try to reserve seats in a knob shape, but it wouldn't let me select enough.
Try aiming for something a bit more like her husband's. Fewer pixels required.
Just checked Odeon in Edinburgh, x1 ticket sold. Brilliant stuff.
Try aiming for something a bit more like her husband's. Fewer pixels required.
9 max. Couldn't even do a mushroom. 🙁
It was attended by what the Hollywood Reporter describes as “70 assorted VIPs”, including Amazon’s Andy Jassy, Apple’s Tim Cook, Queen Rania of Jordan and Mike Tyson.
I'd actually really like to go to one of these parties. I mean, how often do you get to see Tim Cook and Mike Tyson in conversation?
I have no idea who Andy Jassy and Queen Rania are but I'm going to assume they are part of a group of performing drag queens.
Not screening at Brighton Cineworld. 5 seats for the evening showing at the Odeon on release day
Not sure if these reviews are legit........ 
And out of that nine, how many bought their ticket just so they could see how bad it could actually be?
That second booking is a brave person going there for a dangerw##k.
Extending the Dangermouse universe to a more adult audience like that was a mistake
I think as others said... The movie wasn't designed to make money at the box office, it's just a donation gift vehicle.
This is just another 'Trump Bible', 'trump luxury watch', 'Trump NFT' etc. Etc
She is quite hot though.
Without wishing to turn the thread into a sexist shaming thing she doesn't score well:
Nice smile: nope
Natural movement: nope
Expressive movement of hands, eyes, shoulders, head etc: nope
Dress sense: nope
Friendly and chatty: nope
As a Guardian blind date I think I'd soon be eating with a spoon, sniffing, picking my nose and dribbling to put her off, but Angela Merkel on the other hand I might even exchange numbers with, just as friends of course.
There are different types of seduction, social, sexual... to be "quite hot" someone needs to be first and foremost seductive socially IMO. As an example these two have social seduction skills that make Melania look like a dress maker's mannequin.
AIUI there weren’t any preview screening for media people so some a significant percentage of these sales will be them 😆
this 'film'does seem to have the Ratner touch about it. im out
I think as others said... The movie wasn't designed to make money at the box office, it's just a donation gift vehicle.
This is just another 'Trump Bible', 'trump luxury watch', 'Trump NFT' etc. Etc
Indeed - the 'deal' if you can call it that was $40m to make the documentary- or rather for a documentary to be made (the bulk of which went straight to Melania as she's both the subject of the documentary and also its 'executive producer). She also gets a a sizable percentage of any sales. For the cimema distribution there are obviously no sales to speak of - the cinemas won't care - theyre basically on a deal where they get paid by Bezos to screen the film, - he's paying for the film to screen in hundreds of empty rooms - they don't actually need to sell any tickets. (Amazons promotions budget for the doc is around $35m so these empty cinemas are just marketing)
But of course is also screening on Amazon. Streamers are notoriously incredibly opaque about streaming data, usually with the aim of stiffing productions out of any residuals they're due. But in this case they can pretend many millions of people viewed it and use that as a front for passing further money over without its being 'a donation'.
Also part of the deal - third parties are able to 'sponsor' the documentary - you'd think that means they can contribute to the cost of making and distributing the film. Yes? Just incase the $40m ends up coming up a bit short? No. The contract she has with Jeff is 100% of any 'sponsorship' goes straight to her pocket.
Amazon has more that $70billion worth of US government contracts - so thats something like a 17500% return on investment for Jeff
I see Amazon need to shed 16000 employees. Coincidental? Hmmm
(Point of order: I believe Jeff Bezos is no longer CEO of Amazon, so not sure what his link to the company is now and/or he was actually involved in this "deal")
Point of order: I believe Jeff Bezos is no longer CEO of Amazon, so not sure what his link to the company is now
as CEO he only took a modest salary - approx $80,000 per year. His billions come from his amazon share holdings. And his influence is through ownership, not through holding a paid position.
Get paid to watch it in Boston.
Shirley, this is doing Mr and Mrs Trump more reputational damage/personal embarrassment than Panorama did? 100bn lawsuit incoming?
Just came on here to post the exact same screen clipping as Pondo......Bluesky for mine
Presumably a joke? Yeah? Paying cinemas to show the movie to empty auditoriums is scary enough.
Well, there IS a listing. Whether it's genuine or not... *shrugs* 🙂
https://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/evg/d/boston-attend-melania-documentary-free/7911560682.html
Really hope this has been faked…
Fake and 5 years too late to be funny
Probably not...different spellings of her name in that post...
She is quite hot though.
A dirty vank
#damagedgoods
Really hope this has been faked…
My money is on it being a fake, but the fun thing with Trump is that you can never really be sure.
I kind of want to see it just to see how bad it is . Surely this is an occasion when downloading it from a torrent site would be a morally acceptable option ?