[Closed] Meet a lovely lady now i feel sick inside.

Does she bring your feelings to life?

Nothing. MTFU. Or WTFU if your user name is anything to go off 😉

tapeworm ?

Syphilis?

TTIWWP

You are allergic to nuts?

It leads to temporary insanity... Proposing, marriage, a dog/cat, children, not riding your bike much, permanently tired, no money, hair loss and or greying etc etc
You have been warned.

She uses rohipnol?

You liked her that much you ate her and now have indegestion 💡

Wind

Its not bad AIDS is it?

she has an exceptionally long index finger?

Inside where? 😯

Poor personal hygiene?

Is this a different lady to last week?

Is this a different lady to last week?

Picolax?

Is it the fear that her parents will turn up to collect her stuff with her when you've cheated on her and it all goes wrong?

Is she DezB?

Customs Searches are a bit invasive aren't they 😯

ouch!! lol

dunno, but I bet the answer isn't on a forum full of middle aged IT managers.

dunno, but I bet the answer isn't on a forum full of middle aged IT managers.

yea i know, im just filling the time between the bike stuff drying in dryer and going for a ride.

did she give you a gift of a bottle of perfume called chloroform?

dunno, but I bet the answer isn't on a forum full of middle aged IT managers.

I thought we'd established the stereotype was wrong, and we all actually work for the NHS?

oy you, we ain't all middle aged thanks

Asking for advice on here - you need something equivalent to a filter at a sewage works - to take the worst bits out of something that will always be regarded with suspicion.

Spend more time with her.

Spend more time with her.

A while ago i [s]met some one new[/s] bought a Cervélo R5 with Dura Ace 11-speed groupset, i seem to spend a lot of time with her and she gives me this odd feeling inside. Whats wrong with me?

I think she's in the right forum...

lol i see her almost every day, and often wake up next to her

No one likes a show off

How long til the washing is dry?

Washing from the dryer? Tsk! Its a perfect drying day here. First one in ages

Is this the same one that's moved out? And her parents got her stuff?

I'm confused!

Just to be sure, have you done a kidney stock take recently? I think you might be one short.

You just forgot what it felt like with t'other one...

i seem to spend a lot of time with her and she gives me this odd feeling inside. Whats wrong with me?

It's one of two things:

1) It's love. Sweep her off her feet and live happily ever after.

2) It's her cooking. Invest in Gaviscon and you'll get an accurate picture of your feelings.

...she gives me this odd feeling inside.

"Ow, mind you ring!"

"That's my watch!"

I thought we'd established the stereotype was wrong, and we all actually work for the NHS?

@pondo - are you middle aged and drive an Audi for the full house?

Dang - turned 40 last week, so reckon I tick the middle aged box, but I fail the Audi test, don't even drive a German car to get in on a technicality. 🙁

3dvgirl - Member

Whats wrong with me?

You need attention by constantly reminding a forum full of middle aged IT managers that you're a lesbian?

Perhaps it's the realisation that's she's seen through your pitiful attention seeking and narcissism and is about to dump you
Or perhaps it's the realisation that she'll never see through your pitiful attention seeking and narcissism and so you're about to dump her.

😆

lol.. i feel anger, so im out on my bike, have fun peepes.

[1970's northerner]Come and sit on my knee and tell me all about it, I'll cure ya...[/1970's northerner]

😀

You need attention by constantly reminding a forum full of middle aged IT managers that you're a lesbian?

+1

im out on my bike

What material is your cycling apparel that it took over an hour to dry in a tumble dryer ?

[i]I'm out on my bike[/i]

We appear to have established you are 'out'

Now, about this bike

I fail the Audi test, don't even drive a German car to get in on a technicality.

So, it's either Spanish or Czech, then?

3dvgrirl is Fred. Didn't you all know that?

3dvgrirl is Fred. Didn't you all know that?

Well the drugs certainly worked, all the testosterone fuelled rage seems to have abated...

I didn't know Fred was a lesbian..

Pre-drugs therapy he wasn't, now he's a rampant homosexual trapped in a Ladies body, or maybe the other way round....

As a fairly newbie, who is this mythical Fred?

Are her children well behaved?

Ernie Rocks!

she gives me this odd feeling inside.

I'm assuming its not a nice feeling otherwise you would have said so.......its called gut instinct, follow it and bin her

i sometimes wake up beside her

rohypnoled

As a fairly newbie, who is this mythical Fred?

Prolific forumite whose posts veered between the informative and helpful (a woodworking thread comes to mind), the argumentative (political threads, generally offensive - not just his posts - by page 2) and the trolltastic. Banned a few times and came back with new usernames each time. An epic rant culminated in a lifetime ban.

what Markie said + Fred now seems to have a facebook page where he posts whatever would previously been on stw as if he was actually on the threads he's referring to. Or something.

I fail the Audi test, don't even drive a German car to get in on a technicality.

So, it's either Spanish or Czech, then?

Or Swedish... 😯

I'm Fred.

Or Swedish..

Nah, last I checked VW didn't own Saab or Volvo

And I'm Fred's wife

hang on - and I'm fred's wife. The cheating scumbag = no wonder he was banned!!

I'm also Rachel.

Rachel.

I'm Danny B

Cheers,
TandemJeremy

And I'm awesome.

Cheers,
Matt.

I'm confused.

What are you doing while she's on her bike?
Me and my mates are hiding behind her sofa and are going to jump out when she gets back. Ssssssh.

Naked rodeo?

I can't believe that pretty much the whole of the front page was you twunts taking the mic rather than offering advice, but not a single thing was funny.

Poor form.

"I can't believe that pretty much the whole of the front page was you twunts taking the mic rather than offering advice, but not a single thing was funny.

Poor form."

Calm down poopy pants

[i]Calm down poopy pants [/i] 😆

They're relatively clean thank you very much.

People expect sound advice on here?!

Isn't there mumsnet for that.

At OP - make sure your *girlfriend* doesn't take a beaker to bed with her.

That may explain the sickness (pregnancy) and the slightly salty taste in your mouth...

Calm down poopy pants

I didn't think cycling gear could be dried in a clothes drier? It can't do the Lycra much good!

Some can - read the label ! 🙂

I didn't think cycling gear could be dried in a clothes drier? It can't do the Lycra much good!

I think its a moot point really.

Isn't

"I'm going out riding .... See ya!"

Just a stealth flounce for when things don't go to plan ?