[Closed] longevity in a marriage?

No idea I just wing it.

I have been with my Mrs for ...about 12 years ish...could be more! Not married yet though so cant help with this thread.

Financially independent, no kids, some shared hobbies and of equal intelligence with similar views.

Then your compromises will be so small they wont matter.

Take your time to fine the best person you can.

I didn't marry a hot young thing. I married the lady I wanted to be the mother of my children

I find that such an alien concept. My mum is a great mother but is not want to marry her...

I married a girl who I get on with better than anyone else in the world. Someone who I'd walk on glass for and who'd do the same for me. And someone who I fancy, and still fancy. Her motherly skills didn't even cross my mind.

Separate hobbies.
Alcohol.
Having enough money not to have to argue about it.

Separate hobbies.

Earplugs.

[i]I married the lady I wanted to be the mother of my children[/i]

[i] My mum is a great mother but is not want to marry her..[/i]

He didn't say he wanted her to be a great mother, just have his children. I'm sure you don't want your mother to have [i]your[/i] children. (I hope)

If you marry someone you don't like in the first place, you need your head tested surely.
The issue with "marrying your best friend" is that friends can also start disliking one another over time. People change or reveal different aspects to their personality over time.

Check out the parents for an idea what to expect.
My Mother in Law was basically Nursey from Blackadder.
🙂

I got married at 21 and we've been married 25 years now (together 27). No idea why it works, just does!

Most people would have separated though after the shite we've been through over the years.

Has anyone mentionned having a shed?

Rusty Spanner - Member

Check out the parents for an idea what to expect.
My Mother in Law was basically Nursey from Blackadder.

😆 Pete having met your other 1/2 I can see that being true. You look after her 😀

Despite all the problems we have with her MS my wife of 34 years still makes me laugh & cry so I guess we are stuck with each other.

redstripe - Member

Has anyone mentionned having a shed?

First time I met t'other half's grandparents. Grandad turned his hearing aid off and smiled at me.

I think a secret was being passed on 🙂

some interesting stuff here....some shyte and bravado.
me and the mrs have been married 26 years today. just been out for a nice meal and a few pints of blonde.
we just get on well and always have. we cycle together, we drink together, and she gets my sense of humour....most dont. 😀

Met when we were 15 and have been together for 30 years now.
I guess just try to find the right one first time.
Oh.... and forgiveness.

You can start with the person you always want to be with, a great friend, partner and mother, and then things change.

You or she or both grow, change, maybe you become different in how much you want to go out, to have sex, or do other stuff, and bringing up the kids is good but gets between you, and then you become two friends in the same house, with fewer shared interests, but a common history that holds you together. Then you get glimpses of what it could, should have been.

I did 26 years married, perhaps 20 good ones. Decree Absolute came through last week.

But just because a relationship ends doesn't mean if failed. Every relationship you are in will end until you are in one where one of you dies.

I'm now with someone I hope to do another 25 years with. We shall see. I really hope so.

But it's easy to congratulate oneself on how things are going, to whistle in the dark against bad stuff happening. To assume it's skill and choices rather than blind luck, or lack of alternatives that keeps you together. One thing one really can learn from the threads here is how many people's relationships go titsup unexpectedly.. I think there is some hubris on display here. But good luck everyone:)

Mrs Taxi and myself have been together 33yrs. She's easy going and lets me get away with 99% of my nonsense, that alone reduces tensions to a minimum. But it hasn't all been plain sailing :(. Probably the main reason where still together is the fact that we're each others best friend, if we weren't that it would have been over years ago.

Communication. If the other one is pissing you off, you tell them and sort it out.

Luck.

Love.

Good set of boobs.

^^^^
True,I've got a lovely set of boobs and the wife loves them.

Growing a pair and readjusting again. When one partner becomes controlling then the bickering and resentment starts.

1990/91 here. The key is for me to wear the trousers and her to tell me what colour they should be.

but why though? (longevity). The problem is the idea of marriage, or long term relationships. We don't apply the same principles to friendships, they come and go mostly.
Trying to make a relationship 'work' for the sake of anything inhibits freedom to be oneself, in either or both parties. Which is a freedom too easily surrendered.

Therefore for me, someone you marry must truly be a friend for life, a genuine soul mate. Besides a sensible minority, the vast majority rush into choosing life partners because it's a social norm.

Helps if she's a Guide leader and has lots of weekends away camping in the rain 😉

(Missing you really darling. Looking forward to you coming home. Less keen on all your washing and the soaking wet kit and tents cluttering up the garage)

Apathy and the knowledge that splitting up would only spoil another couple.

Trying to make a relationship 'work' for the sake of anything inhibits freedom to be oneself, in either or both parties.

I (try to!) make my relationship work for the sake of me, my wife and my kids. Why wouldn't I? Does that mean I make some compromises that inhibit freedom to be myself? Of course it does; it's not just about me any more. I know my wife (and kids) make compromises too.