[Closed] Let's Nuke Slough!

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!
Come, bombs and blow to smithereens
Those air -conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans,
Tinned minds, tinned breath.

Mess up the mess they call a town-
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week a half a crown
For twenty years.

And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears:

And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.

But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.

It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead

And talk of sport and makes of cars
In various bogus-Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.

In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.

Come, friendly bombs and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.

But...they make Mars Bars there. 🙁

How about Reading? You get Aldermaston as a bonus if you stick a big enough yield in.

I live in South West London.

If the Westminster & Northholt ones don't get me, the Heathrow one will...

interesting.

Realistically if they targeted sheffield or manchester (i would have through the most obvious targets outside of london id still be alive (ish)

Result! Even if the Russians nuke Menwith Hill, Skipton is OK. Harrogate, not so much...

Unless they use the Tsar Bomba, in which case everything from Preston to Middlesbrough gets crisped.

This song is by The Tiger Lillies and appears on the album The Brothel To The Cemetery (1996).

1,2,3,2,2,3

Well it's grim up north
But it's grimmer than that in Slough
I'll sing you a song
If you drop a bomb on Slough

Driving about in your car.
making another box of Mars Bars
In Slough, Slough.

Well the shift-works a dog
And your life is a slog
In Slough
Night and day you work for your pay
In Slough

24 hours you are on call
They've got you, they've got you by the balls
In Slough, in Slough, in Slough, in Slough

Drop a bomb on Slough, Drop a bomb on Slough
Drop a bomb on Slough, Drop a bomb on Slough

Back in the 70's my dad had a "calculator" for estimating destruction. Basically a stack of cardboard disks which you rotated to select size of weapon and height of blast. From that it gave you estimates of crater size for a ground burst and destruction zones and fallout.

It's over 40 years ago so I can't recall all the details and I haven't seen it since. It may have just been something he had for a particular civil defence exercise.

[img] [/img]

It was something like this.

I've just spent an enjoyable 10 minutes experimenting with nuking London 😀

So has Kim Jong Un.

And if you want an idea of the aftermath, [url= http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/nuclear/nuclearwar1.html ]have a read of this[/url].

How about Reading?

We need to preserve places like Slough to make Reading look good(ish).

Based on the folk I've met from Basingrad, there already has been some kind of fallout

Result! Even if the Russians nuke Menwith Hill, Skipton is OK. Harrogate, not so much...

I've been told that Menwith Hill is pretty much one of the safest, non-nukeable, places in the UK. Don't know how, but that's what I was told.

Dropped an Ivy King - airburst style in Newport Docks, took out the centre but left Machen, Rogerstone, Magor and Langstone and Cwmcarn for that matter unaffected.

That's a surgical strike I could live with.

I've been told that Menwith Hill is pretty much one of the safest, non-nukeable, Don't know how

You sound like you should know. Does Putin have a holiday home in Pateley Bridge?