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Many years later, I now work from home and spend lunchtimes at a gym – I either do weights/swim/or classes. But talk to people who have nothing to do with my work but have interesting stories to tell. Weekends with cycling group and evening with mates I grew up with.
I need to do this. I've always been a natural loner but these days it's enforced rather than optional as people have drifted far and wide and I can't just ring anyone and arrange to play out.
Also RIP my thick black hair. I blame mine on having a kid 3 years ago.
Finding your flow can help you zone out of the usual head nonsense...could be biking, guitar, art.... anything.....
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/456785/the-pathway-to-flow-by-christensen-dr-julia-f/9781529912296
For work stuff....
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/103521058-stoic-at-work
Many years later, I now work from home and spend lunchtimes at a gym – I either do weights/swim/or classes. But talk to people who have nothing to do with my work but have interesting stories to tell. Weekends with cycling group and evening with mates I grew up with.
+1
It's all great saying "get out and ride more for your mental health" but I find doing it with someone far more beneficial (even if it's just done in almost silence with fellow introverts). All the extra little dopamine hits from keeping up / beating someone. It's also good for the endless variety, Over the winter the roadie club tends to retreat to doing the same few routes on night rides so we all learn where the potholes are. Doing that solo would be downright stressful but in a group there's always something more interesting to focus on (holding a wheel an don't crashing) than the route itself.
This'll be an unpopular take, but I don't find this place to be particularly great for mental wellbeing.
Don't get me wrong, there's load of useful information on here, but there's also loads that isn't particularly healthy.
OP, hope you don't think these comments are out of order.
You've posted a lot over the past few years about how you can find and stick to a plan - it's there again in your post starting this thread. But as you hint at in that post, your life is not really at a point where you can make a plan and guarantee to stick to it. When I was at a similar stage in life, my work was completely unpredictable, so I couldn't commit to any weekday activities, because I simply didn't know if I was going to be around, and even if I was at home I was likely to have to take a child somewhere or collect a child from somewhere. So forget the planning. Relax. Forget the targets but be better at grabbing the opportunities. Be less prescriptive about what you want to do. Don't say 'I haven't got time for that 40 mile ride I wanted to do', instead say 'I've got 90 minutes, I can do 15 miles and get showered ready for the next thing'. If you can find one spot a week that you can keep sacrosanct then great, go for it - I used to get out for 2 hours every Sunday at 08:00 with my riding buddy for a muddy bridleway ride, and anything else was a bonus.
And I know we live in the same town, so I'm still here if you fancy a road/gravel/mtb ride any time.
I spent years putting myself under pressure, wanted to do well at work to provide for my family and wanted to do well at home with my family. Trouble was I feel the doing well at work kinda took a bit from doing well as a Dad, never home before 8pm sometimes more like 10pm and being retail I worked most Saturdays, lots of Sundays and I have worked Every Christmas since 1989 so missed lots of the special times. I would always worry about money as we tend to live month to month with no real savings, but we are comfortable (no fancy hols etc but can pay the bills ok) so not complaining, Last Christmas things came to a head at work, there was a huge project coming up/I was knackered from yet another Christmas in Retail and was getting very ill (lost 10kg in a few months) and lost it with my boss telling him to stick it as I was unsupported and being hung out to dry and there was no was I was doing the project the way things were as it was going to be a car crash! I told him he could move me/find me another role or I would find myself another job. TBH I am not sure what happened behind the scenes but I got a move and I now work half a mile from home, go home for lunch and am home by 6pm in a role that’s a couple of grades down……but still getting the same money for a fraction of the grief! Wish I had done this years ago. It was tough letting go of the role I did for the last 15years (the car crash I warned him about is happening) but it’s not my problem now but I feel for the team I left behind.