[Closed] Kids that don't care

If we were 5yo kids posting on here you might have a point.

...oh hang on

How awful to have missed the joy or reading for pleasure

Who? Offspring loves reading.

Bonkers - buying an iPad for a three year old.

Except, as I said, I didn't. I got a new one, she got the old one.

You need to put kids in their place. The are very low in the pecking order in the family. Simple.

The kid's place is as an equal member of the family - there is no pecking order. Sometimes we have to tell her to do something, but we also explain why we want her to do it.

This thread is funny 😉

Mitigates it slightly but still - a child of that age shouldn't (in my opinion) have such stuff.

We have two iPads (recently bought a mini to replace my broken iPod) but the older iPad has not been given to our children - it remains ours and the children are allowed to use it at the weekend.

My son had technology given to him mostly as he wanted it and it became available.

He probably had a similar attitude to the op's kid at that age.

He's 19 now and seems like a well rounded individual who can hold a conversation and doesn't go round randomly smashing things.

My above to the op is be cross, get the screen repaired and buy a decent case that stays on it. We used to say 'no case, you don't get to use it' with him and we do with our 13 year old daughter too.

[i]Then, as I was saying, our youth should be trained from the first in a stricter system, for if amusements become lawless, and the youths themselves become lawless, they can never grow up into well-conducted and virtuous citizens.[/i]

Said Plato, nearly two and half thousand years ago.

My son's ipad was a result of him having earnt the cash himself doing a pamphlet run on sundays (with our help at times). Kids can earn the cash if they are keen (child labour and all that), he is 11 and we do help him, however I had a morning paper round at his age and it never hurt me apparently (twitches a bit and drools). When he bought it he was aware of the limitations, not to be used in the bedroom, screen time limits, screen bans for bad behaviour means it gets confiscated for set times, etc.

Never had to give my daughter a screen ban, but she would rather read a book (seen as very unfair by my son though)

£5 for washing the car?! No wonder he turned his nose up at it, I was earning that 20 years ago 😀 You're obviously a Tory paying those kinds of wages 😉

It's terrifying to see a regime of physical abuse being proffered as good parenting advice.

"Never did me any harm"

Yes it did, as you think it's a good idea now. Appreciate that, and break the cycle.

This thread illustrates why teaching a class of 30 kids from different homes can be so hard.
Time limits on media devices - it's that simple. Teaches responsibility and boundaries. Turfing our 11yr old off Minecraft earlier he looked over my shoulder and said "what even IS single track" 😳

"Never did me any harm"
Yes it did, as you think it's a good idea now. Appreciate that, and break the cycle.

Seriously? That's the best you can come up with.

I'd argue having a pamphlet run which takes 1-2 hours a week is not a bad way for a kid to earn some cash to but what they want, especially as it is supervised and we help him with it. It makes extra work for us but helps him with the idea of responsibility and gives him a bit of responsibility.

Seriously? That's the best you can come up with.

If physical abuse or even the threat of is considered effective then you've already lost.

Woefully retarded attitudes to children being displayed by the moderators on here of late

Proud to be father a of 3 and cycle breaker.

Mitigates it slightly but still - a child of that age shouldn't (in my opinion) have such stuff.

A lot cheaper, and a lot more useful than those daft "travel system" pushchair things that seem obligatory for kids - we never bothered with any of that stuff.

iPad? You know there are cheaper tablets, right ?

Our family has a Hudl between us. Important tool for learning how to share.

Bencooper- totally different. One is for the adults, the other is spoiling children with expensive gifts.

BTW - our two asked for them for their 6th birthdays. They were told in no uncertain terms that they would not be getting such expensive things and that when they are older they could earn the money to buy their own.

Oh shit I clearly misread the above post. 😳

Woefully retarded attitudes to children being displayed by the moderators on here of late

I'm glad you're keeping a list.

iPad? You know there are cheaper tablets, right ?
Our family has a Hudl between us. Important tool for learning how to share.

Where as we have 3 iPads and my kids still know how to share.

Jondoh- No child was ever spoiled by expensive gifts..
Children are spoiled by bad parenting..

Where as we have 3 iPads and my kids still know how to share

Did I say it was the only tool? 🙄

No of course not I'm not even sure why you mentioned it.

Bencooper- totally different. One is for the adults, the other is spoiling children with expensive gifts.

They're both for parents who don't want to interact with their child.

I'm kidding - but you get my point.

[quote=bencooper ]A lot cheaper, and a lot more useful than those daft "travel system" pushchair things that seem obligatory for kids - we never bothered with any of that stuff.

Is it possible not to have a travel system pushchair and for the kids not to have their own iPad? Or would that get you banned from Waitrose?

BTW - our two asked for them for their 6th birthdays. They were told in no uncertain terms that they would not be getting such expensive things and that when they are older they could earn the money to buy their own.

Same here. We have a family iPad (competition prize!), and old (given to us) laptop and my work laptop.

The kids when the go to secondary get a secondhand, middling Android phone. If they want a nice one, save up.

If they need to save more, wait until you are 13 for a paper round, or go clean my car/pull weeds/clean the bathroom/cook a meal and you get an extra 50p.

My eldest two (12 and 13) have now both saved and bought MotoG phones themselves. They look after them so carefully, and seeing as we buy one top up a month, are also careful with texts and useage.

We and the kids are not perfect, far from it, but I am really keen our kids learn that if they want something in life, they better work hard for it.

To the OP - if he smashed it, I wouldn't replace it, AND I would have another punishment (pay for repair out of his pocket money?).

Is it possible not to have a travel system pushchair and for the kids not to have their own iPad? Or would that get you banned from Waitrose?

Are you mad? How are you going to demonstrate your superiority to all other parents if you do that?

You'll have to resort to loudly asking them to read all the foreign cheese labels to show how smart they are or something.

😆

Christ an iPad for his birthday?! I always thought my parents were generous but there's no way on earth id of gotten something as expensive as an iPad for my birthday.

Did you only get an Orange for Christmas too?

Kids that don't care

As a wealthy adult with an easy come, easy go attitude to "stuff", I do not have an iPad because I cannot trust myself not to drop it in the bath or sit on it by accident.

😉

I do not have an iPad because I cannot trust myself not to drop it in the bath or sit on it by accident.

That was my feeling about having a child - especially seeing what usually happens to our houseplants.

I am intrigued by the lack of a hierarchy in some households. I had this conversation with my 11 and 13 year olds the other day, interestingly about electronic time - it has always been our policy that there are no electronics after dinner. They suggested that as they were older they might now be allowed. We had a long and productive conversation about it. However, as I explained to them, this is not a democracy and I will make the decision although I will listen to their points. If anything, it's a benevolent dictatorship. They seem quite content and there will still be no electronics after supper!

However, as I explained to them, this is not a democracy and I will make the decision although I will listen to their points. If anything, it's a benevolent dictatorship.

[img] [/img]

😉

Seems a waste having it sit there broken. Can you get the screen repaired. Then allow him to buy back time by doing jobs? If I remember correctly you can set times and app locks. If he's interested then he'll work if not, and no one else uses it, then sell it.

He seems like a stroppy(pre)teen. He'll need some time to fester before emerging as a human being.

However, as I explained to them, this is not a democracy and I will make the decision although I will listen to their points. If anything, it's a benevolent dictatorship.

[img] [/img]

i got my 4yr old daughter an old ipod touch off ebay. told her its her own phone. (kids dont realise the concept of these devices is to make telephone calls) but she can have all her kids apps on there so they dont clog mine or the mrs' phones. she can take pictures and she receives emails from us and her grandparents.

tbf, she did drop it by accident and caused a small crack in the screen - she was inconsolable!

she's nearly six now, think ill let her have my ipad when i upgrade..

My son got a Nintendo DS at 4. He used it until he was 8 and it still works now (In the loft now).

He got a ipod touch at 8 and used that till he was 10. He sold that as it was in perfect condition when he finished with it.

We got him a ipad mini when he was 10 and it is used all the time to watch you tube, talk to his pals etc etc. He also has an iphone which he uses all the time but treats like gold dust.

He is now 12yrs old, loves his gadgets but is willing to combine birthday & christams money to get what he wants and will gladly go without to ensure he gets a particular item.

His 8yr sister got her ipad mini when she was 6. She isn't so materialistic and uses her ipad to watch bbci player and talk to her best friend every morning on facetime. She again would be absolutely distraught if she lost/broke her ipad.

I also have and ipad and my wife has an iphone. We are in bed with apple wether we like it or not.

I don't like them sitting glued to the devices as much as the next person but they are both sporty kids, they both do well at school, they are both well mannered and they both know the value of items they deem special.

I don't think there is a right or wrong to having technology in our kids lives. I would have no hesitation to remove the devices if they started to display signs of not valuing these items but they really do care for them so I am happy for them to remain.

Personally I would suggest to the op that this isn't just the ipad that's causing the sons attitudes (My son has some major attitude as well). Maybe you need to reel in the purse strings a bit (A few months) and let him learn that things don't come easily. I have seen my son wait 6mths for something knowing that it will be worth the wait. Its a valuable lesson which others have mentioned here

Well I have just read [url= http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/jul/13/amazon-fire-hd-kids-edition-tablet-review ]this review [/url]and it looks like a good option for kiddies – you can tweak setting to (for example) set the amount of educational work they need to do on the tablet before 'unlocking' games etc.

And Amazon throw in a 2 year replacement guarantee if it gets broken by little Timmy having a tantrum.

It will always be trouble with kids having a sense of entitlement, it's also a natural part of growing up and pushing boundaries. They are still getting used to not being the centre of the universe, which since they were born are used to people that will sacrifice their own time and possessions in priority to a child, so they naturally have an imbalanced view of the world.

We have this debate with ours all the time, thankfully it's not about them breaking stuff. Thankfully after a selfish period where they just couldn't understand they can't have everything they wanted (be it the food they want, time on computers, the computers themeselves etc) they now seem to understand that for everything they have, we worked for it.

They both got iPad mini's for Christmas when they were 10. They both live on them playing Minecraft, CBBC app and using iMessages alot. Both of them were given cases for them which must be on at all time, and both agreed that if they are lost or broken, they pay us back for them and they can fund the next one. So if they break them, they will be an iPad down and a few hundred quid down.

Time on them is limited too, and although they will always kick off when not allowed and tell us how unfair life is, they will respect it and not use them. All electronics and screens are banned before 9 am, and after 8PM. On weekends they have 2.5 hours each to use on the devices, and it can't take priority over family stuff. Outside of that they manage their time, but still they choose to ask when to use it.

Thankfully as we are completely open with them they know how much effort goes into to getting them this stuff, and the life they lead. And they do aside from the usual pre teens strops seem to get it. It does mean we've sat explaining to 10 year olds how mortgages work, how tax gets paid, why we pay tax so they can get things - and it does seem to work. They now know that we work hard for all of us, and how much they have, so no longer think if I buy something they should be entitled to something.

Pocket money is all done on rewards (tidy room, feed the cat, makes us cups of tea, do housework, get good grades etc) and will loose money for bad behavior - some weeks they end up owing us money if they have been bad. It sounds unfair but they contributed to how it would work. Once they have this money they can do whatever they want with it (assuming its age appropriate etc), as they earned it. I might claim they are wasting money, but its theirs.

We have got to the point that if we are spending money, 9 times out of 10 they want to spend it on time with us. A day out, or swimming, or bike ride with a lunch out is something they get excited about and that's the biggest thing they want, rather than gadgets. It's been a battle though.

We've taken the view that children are selfish by their very nature, they are born with an army of slaves who do all they can to keep them alive and happy - and it's our job to try to teach them to appreciate what they have, be less selfish or at the very least to be able to pretend that they are not selfish. If they are selfish, and grow up with a sense of entitlement and not understand you get out what you put in, then that's our fault too.

[img] [/img]

Lol cos paper is just like a tablet.. right.. wonder if the author of that strip actually has kids?

Lol cos paper is just like a tablet.. right..

He didn't say it was.

He said it was a tool for creativity and learning, which I agree with.

Fundamentally I don't believe that reading, learning, creating and exploring is somehow inherently more valuable when it is done on dead trees instead of pixels.

wonder if the author of that strip actually has kids?

Yes I believe the [url= http://www.penny-arcade.com ]Penny Arcade[/url] authors, Jerry Holkins (aka "Tycho") and Mike Krahulik (aka "Gabe"), both have kids.
(They are also the cofounders of [url= https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child%27s_Play_%28charity%29 ]Child's Play[/url], a kid's charity that has raised over $33 million since it started in 2003).

[quote=GrahamS ]He said it was a tool for creativity and learning, which I agree with.

Which is of course all anybody ever does with a tablet.

Which is of course all anybody ever does with a tablet.

People draw dick doodles on paper.

That doesn't invalidate all paper as a means of learning.

A) continue with the bad atmosphere in the house, but make him realise that he needs to look after stuff and understand the effort required to earn a pound

B) life is too short. Give him a cuddle and move on ...

Right now it's is A...

There is a middle way. You can explain how upset you are that the iPad got broken, that you work hard for the money used to pay for it, and that you expect him to pay for the home insurance excess (if it is covered) from his own money, and that if he doesn't have any money he'd better start earning it. And then give him a cuddle and move on...
Life is short as you say and accidents do happen.

genuinely surprised no one has proposed the threat of 'no pudding' yet..