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3, my eldest is 30 in November and back living with us, not only that, but on his days off his 4 year old son comes to stay too. I'd like my house back, (but the wife may see it differently). 😉
1. Oops.
2. Whoops.
3. Whatever, in for a penny in for a pound.
Yes - until another morning when mrs_oab and I are outnumbered.
Ever since I could legally be a father, since late 1989, I've never had a longing for kids of my own.
Mainly due to...
Cost
Stress
A genetic history of mental health issues in the family
I feel the Uk is too overpopulated already
Still not too late to change my mind, but happy with my choice.
One daughter, one unknown on the way. Daughter is 2.5 and will be 2.75 when the new one makes an appearance.
I took some persuading by Mrs Nerd to have the first. We ummed and aahed about having a 2nd one and then I was (being) sent to Mexico so the fear of Zika spurred us on and Mrs Nerd was pregnant before I boarded the flight.
Two seems about right - they will have a sibling in later life and someone has to pay for our pensions.
Just wish the 2.5 year old would sleep in her own bed. 🙂
2 and Yes.
Boy who's 11 next month and Girl who was 2 in June.
If I'm honest, I didn't seek out to have either of them - I met my Wife 6 years ago and she already had a little lad. His biological father has zero interest and in short, signed over all visitation rights etc in exchange for waiving his maintenance payments - £10 a week. Arsehole, but it made life easier for us - I'm Dad, he understands the mechanics of why and how etc, but I'm Dad, which is cool.
No2 was a 'mistake' although I'm not certain it was a mistake for all parties - it was terrifying for me, second kid, but first baby - I'm never done anything as hard in my life as the first 5 months with her, how I survived I don't know.
They're bloody hard work, there is no end, just when you think you've got them happy and healthy and growing up as as they should, they'll go and thrown everything on it's head, but it's wonderful, absolutely wonderful - sometimes when things are hard and I just haven't got a second to myself I wish I was back being single, carefree and doing whatever I wanted to do - but truth is back then I was unhappy more than I was happy, desperately unhappy a lot of the time, now I'm happy most of the time.
2, 17 and 3. yes. they are a bloody nightmare together ! total chaos! 😀
2 girls, 6 & 10, same birthday 4 years apart. I didn't want kids whatsoever but they are absolutely the best things ever to have happened. So glad we didn't have boys as I can't stand them. I'm lucky in that I've spent far more time with them than most dads do with their kids and happily gave up my career to be the main carer and general housedad. I found that I am a pretty good dad and house husband, certainly better than I was as an employee, being hands on dad just came naturally. I just love hanging out with them and pretty much do with all of my spare time. Make the most of it as they grow up pretty fast and eventually they won't want to but I wouldn't have it any other way just now.
One, going to have one more try for a second (IVF), then leave it at that.
0, happy as a happy thing happed up on happypills
One daughter, and very happy with that.
3 girls, 16, 14 & 14 (BOGOF)
Very happy which is a good job 'cos there's not a lot I can do about it now.
I'm not a wendyball fan so not sure I could have done boys but girls come with their own bag of trouble.
Daffy, don't have another because 'they'll play with each other' as they may well not. That said I think that having just one child is a bit sad and I'm eternally grateful that I'm not an only child.
3. Twin boys (9) and daughter (11). Yes, very happy. One son nearly didn't make it - so we are so thankful to have them.
Don't get me wrong, it's hard work sometimes and they have their moments, not perfect - but they are good kids with great caring natures. Never know what enthusiasm one boy will dive deeply into next, don't know what his brother will say from minute to minute and my daughter is really interesting and thinks quite deeply.
Bit obvious but Iove them all so much...
0. (and 2 rescue kittens about 1.5 years old now who are mostly cool)
Had one (planned) on the way earlier in the year, but sadly it didn't happen (got to 10-11 weeks). Mrs is ready to try again now.
Always wanted a boy, now not really bothered. (but would secretly like a boy).. Financially. Probably be OK.
On the age gap thing.. I dunno, my little sis is 5 years younger than me and we aren't really bonded, we're cool but she was away at school from 11-18 years old or so so not around much. (not a public school.. something else..)
I thought I wanted a boy, but have two girls and now the thought of having a boy feels weird.
Kids are great. Very challenging, but great.
0, yes
none and yes.
1 - 1 too many.
(Nah not really, but I do so enjoy telling her that)
We have 3, boy 18 and 2 girls 16 and 11.
As with MattOAB none of them really planned. Happy with 3 they are great and frustrating in equal measures almost daily!
None, Yes - both happy.
We have quite a few nephews who are close, aged 0.5, 1 & 4.
3 of the parents are seemingly completely ambivalent to them & the changes they have bought to life, which has just re-affirmed our decision not to bother.
2 here - girls aged 9 and 5.
11 years ago a Dr told my wife it was unlikely we'd be able to have kids due to issues with her ovaries.
18 months later daughter No1 came along.
we then lost a pregnancy at 12 weeks after my wife was in a car crash.
Daughter No2 then almost killed my wife (and herself) - ruptured uterus during delivery = 1/200 chance of them both surviving - but they did.
A gas test on a section of umbilical cord confirmed our daughter was 90 seconds from brain damage due to lack of oxygen.. so, so lucky.
My wife always wanted 3 kids, but the Surgeon standing in the corridor outside the operating Theatre, covered in my wifes blood and telling me not to have anymore kids sort of put me off.
Totally happy with how things turned out - the 9 year old is Tinkerbell in Human form, the younger one more like Tank Girl.
General question to those who had > 2 children (excluding children from previous relationship s). Did population increase enter into the decision making process or was it a not even a consideration?
not really
the problem with our country (the world) is that we have too many old people, living for far too long
we either need more people to emigrate in or more babies being born or we get all Logans Run
Not that I believe that we are overcrowded,
theres plenty of room, we just need to use things more wisely and share the wealth better, comrades
3
boy 6, girl 4 and girl 1.5
I was happy with two, we had the discussion and decided to get a dog instead of 3rd child. Now we have a dog and a 3rd child!
I don't regret any of it though, they're all amazing although sometimes you do feel a bit outnumbered!
Definitely no number 4 though, doctor made sure of that
2 girls 2.5 years apart. Tried for closer. They are now 7 and 5 and each others' best mates.
Lots of reasons for sticking at two. Population control is one (if everyone has two kids population would fall) but others include being able to use normal cars, cost of holidays (need to travel to the us for that), practicality of travel, size of house and so on.
However seeing what lovely kids they are it strikes me that we could probably do with more decent thoughtful well brought-up people in the world so maybe more would have been better.
But there's no chance we're going back to crying babies and all that shit.
One boy and that's fine - he's two on the weekend and is generally a good 'un but he keeps up busy! I wish I had just a wee bit of his energy.
He's getting easier in some ways and I have no desire to reset to newborn stage. He won't grow up alone because he's very very close to one of his cousins who is only a few months older. He seems him a lot (although they do bicker an awful lot).
However seeing what lovely kids they are it strikes me that we could probably do with more decent thoughtful well brought-up people in the world so maybe more would have been better.
yup.. you gotta balance out the stats.. otherwise the scummers with 6 kids by 6 fathers will be the majority..
0 kids 6 bikes. Only thing I could wish for is more bikes.
3 boys - 7, 6 and 2. Every day is spent desperately trying to tire them out, shouting at no-one as they don't listen, tidying/washing/cleaning/feeding (why can't boys stop eating!), breaking up fights and so on. Any more than 1 kid and you stop being a parent and start being a referee!Happy - mostly
This only 10,8 and 6. It's great!
0 kids 6 bikes. Only thing I could wish for is more bikes.
Parkesie, are you me?
0, 100% happy with my decision.
1 aged 1 and a little bit.
No plans for a second he is awesome but don't feel the need for a second at all he will be fine as an only child and it means we are not bankrupting ourselves and get to spend lots and lots of time with him
Yes i know i shouldn't look at the financial side but it is actually valid as a concern
Yes i know i shouldn't look at the financial side but it is actually valid as a concern
absolutely! my o/h works in education, so half terms etc won't be much of a problem once of school age 🙂
Yes i know i shouldn't look at the financial side but it is actually valid as a concern
Why the hell would you not look at the financial side? You're taking on a long term commitment, you absolutely should look at if you can afford it before going down that route.
3, 2 girls 22, 18 and boy 13, wouldn`t change it for the world, only difference is 15 bikes in the garage and they are not all mine!!
One boy and that's fine - he's two on the weekend and is generally a good 'un but he keeps up busy! I wish I had just a wee bit of his energy.He's getting easier in some ways and I have no desire to reset to newborn stage. He won't grow up alone because he's very very close to one of his cousins who is only a few months older. He seems him a lot (although they do bicker an awful lot).
you've not got to the terrible two's stage yet!! 😆
Why the hell would you not look at the financial side? You're taking on a long term commitment, you absolutely should look at if you can afford it before going down that route.
perfectly valid point. mrs gonzy got pregnant 3 months into our marriage. it wasnt planned but more a case of if it happens its a bonus
second one was planned...we decided that gonzy 1 needed a sibling and the time was right
we were happy with the 2 then gonzy 3 turned up out of nowhere....completely unplanned. mrs gonzy stopped taking the pill ofr a while due to some health issues and forgot to restart them
but we've never regretted it
as for having a fourth...she has mentioned it a few times because she got broody when her sister had her fourth...but i had to point out that financially it would be hard.
we'd need a bigger house, i'd just bought her a new car that i was still paying off and a 4th child would mean selling it at a loss and buying a people carrier, nursery care costs at some point would hit us hard...etc
i was glad she saw sense and agreed with me
We have two, 13 and 8. I didn't want any at first and once we'd had one I didn't want anymore. But I can't imagine life without either of them now. They're great kids but we have no desire for a third, life is exhausting enough. We have quite a few friends with toddlers and anytime we look after them we both say, great kids but don't want to go back to that. One thing I've noted is that some of our kids friends that don't have siblings come across as quite needy and high maintenance, not saying this is true of all only child's but it wouldn't be hard to spoil an only child.
2, one aged 8 and one aged 6. That'll do nicely thanks.
Both are awesome and frustrating in their own ways.
0. Deliriously so.
1 little boy just under 12 months old. We keep contemplating another, but I reckon we will end up sticking with one. Those difficult first couple of months are still fresh in our memories...
1, and yes. Wouldn't mind another.
I used to be 0, and yes; but with the wisdom of hindsight 1, and yes is better 🙂 and I now have *more* free time, as I spend less time at work and doing DIY...
yup.. you gotta balance out the stats.. otherwise the scummers with 6 kids by 6 fathers will be the majority..
Yeah SaxonRider's taking up my slack there though.
Two here, aged 17 and 15. Happy with that, and love them to bits. Wife would have carried on to 3... or 4 etc.
What's becoming increasing obvious is that they're each others' best friend. I suspect they'll always be close.
i had to point out that financially it would be hard.
we'd need a bigger house,
I clearly don't know your specific circumstances, but I have never entirely understood this. I mean, there is obviously a limit that we can fit in a house/afford to support, but sometimes I wonder if this isn't exaggerated.
When I said above that I have 'a lot' of kids, I meant '8': 7 boys and 1 girl. I live in a Victorian end-of-terrace that had 3 bedrooms until we extended into the loft, and while it is tight sometimes, we more than manage. I have often said that if I ever won the lottery, I would just pay off my mortgage without moving. I like where I live, and I like my lifestyle, and that very much includes the children.
It means living creatively, but we certainly don't go without.
I'm one of 5 and grew up in a 3 bed 80's house in a small village; it was cosy as but it was fine, parents in one room, boys in one and girls in the other.
'want' and 'need' are frequently confused... and it teaches you to get on, cope with distractions and get up in the morning.
When I said above that I have 'a lot' of kids, I meant '8'
SR - No wonder you don't know which year it is most of the time. 😉
I'll continue my day with a renewed respect for you. That is hardcore.
None and don't want any, like quite a few on here it seems!
I like kids, playing games with them and watching them grow and develop. But there is no way I could put in the effort required to have one of my own, even with a model mother. Any more than an hour or two around any kid, even well-behaved ones, and I want to escape and run away from them. I've known this for a very long time and have had to end a relationship after she initially felt the same but the old biological clock changed her thinking. I couldn't think of anything worse than agreeing to have one then resenting her and it for the rest of my life so we parted ways. She now has two kids and is very happy so it was the correct choice for her.
I'd be perfectly happy with my own little house and two cats, plus a few bikes, gettingmy mum to realise that I won't be providing any grandkids is proving hard work though.
Two boys and yes and no. I wanted four but I'm not the one who has to bear them!
Mother was one of four, I would have been one of four, both sisters have four. Four is a good number for a busy family time.
Our two also "play competitively" as only 19yo and 16yo boys can 😉