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sounnds to me (as the naughty kid) like a combination of getting the rules between mummy and daddy straightened out, and praps hyperactivity.
i got "diagnosed" with AttentionDeficitHyperativityDisorder" when i was young, but personally i think its bull, you cant have it or not have it. ALL people have a certain degree, but some people, like me, have metabolisms where if i dont have plenty of exercise, im bouncing off the walls, or in a massive crash and depressed.
also cant concentrate on anything either..... (OOOO SOMETHING SHINEY)
....
does the wee tyke have a focus?
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get the wee bugger tearing around the garden to knacker him out?
or get a young dog, then they can knacker each other out?
dangriff, some jobs on them MG's only a kid will be able to manage, both physically and mentally, the octaganol MG badge is the insignia of the octobstad man who has 8 arms & each hand with 8 fingers that can each do a nut up to 80 ft lb's that designed the things.
Back on topic.
I inherited my lad at 7, he was and still is a bit wild, but 2 years on things are loads better, but don't be frightened of the pigeon holing thing, he might well have some small problems as I mentioned earlier, and if you don't go the pigeon hole route you wont get the help & support he needs when he is at school. Its well worth reading up on these things, that said you don't treat them any different, but its easier for you to understand why.
I'll have a look at the book but I think he is happy, it's just me that's struggling
The book is helpful in that it helps you understand why he does what he does. I am getting much less wound up since reading (some of) it.
if all else fails....
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(For you, not him - that would be irresponsible). It doesn't stop him misbehaving in anyway but it doesn't really matter any more.
Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till its gone... 😕
so true it hurts 🙁
Have you asked yourself what Casar Millan would do?
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This has echoes of my family dynamic, although we've mostly (we think) got it cracked.
As has been said, its a difference in parenting styles. I'm rules based with consequences and the wife is more permissive. One on one with both my kids is fine, good as gold, well behaved and well mannered, put my wife into the equation and they push, push, push. They do it because they get what they want from her if they act up, but they don't from me.
Since I've been full-time carer and the wife is out to work, the 'balance of power' is more with me, with mummy left to do bedtime.
They run her ragged at bedtime - It often takes 2 hours to settle my eldest.
TBH, I've told her till I'm blue in the face, but she feels like she's being mean to them if she moves to a more rules based style.
She can make the rod for her own back, I'm out of it. Since we don't really have to opportunity for shared parenting, its not much of a problem.
Your solution IMO is get your children's mum to honestly assess what she's doing and move away from it. Good luck with that!