[Closed] (Terrorist content) Just received this from The Met...

I think the copper would have twigged you were a Jihadist trying to throw him off the scent and just shot you there and then.

What's the ratio of brown to beard, I tan easy?

Someone must have worked out a formula to spot potential terrorists.

(Amount of beard * lack of fashion sense - skin colour) x (carrying rucksack - riding a fixie * looking shifty - Not in shoreditch) = chance of danger

Googles 'muslim hipster on fixie'

and this is your identikit terrorist image:

[img] [/img]

(Amount of beard * lack of fashion sense - skin colour) x (carrying rucksack - riding a fixie * looking shifty - Not in shoreditch) = chance of danger

I was in Shoreditch at the weekend so how did I score:
Amount of beard: Weekends worth of stubble
Lack of Fashion Sense: Oh yes - I'm at IT consultant in my 40's
Skin Colour: Day-glo white (I'm half-Scottish)
Carrying Rucksack: Surprisingly for me, no for a change
Looking shifty: Quite often - my wife and daughter were in a mood to shop so I did a lot of lurking about waiting for them

[i]I think the copper would have twigged you were a Jihadist trying to throw him off the scent and just shot you there and then. [/i]

I'm sure there's someone on here from the Met.

"Hello Officer. My name's MrWoppit"

*bang*

"Hello Officer. My name's MrWoppit"

*bang*

They'd have had him at "Hello"

A while ago I used to see a few suspicious types on my way home from work.

Three or four young "Asian" looking men. Full muslamic beards, full desert pattern camouflage fatigues and combat boots. I think one of them even had a Taliban floppy hat.

They used to meet up together an wander off somewhere.

I did briefly wonder about informing "the authorities", but then realised they were all a bit too Tooting Popular Front. I guess real terrorists would try and draw less attention to themselves.

Mind you, I haven't seen them for about a year. So perhaps they've ben looked up in Paddington Green, or gone of to Syria or something.

I was in Shoreditch at the weekend so how did I score:
Amount of beard: Weekends worth of stubble
Lack of Fashion Sense: Oh yes - I'm at IT consultant in my 40's
Skin Colour: Day-glo white (I'm half-Scottish)
Carrying Rucksack: Surprisingly for me, no for a change
Looking shifty: Quite often - my wife and daughter were in a mood to shop so I did a lot of lurking about waiting for them

10-15% chance of being a Jihadi.

Woppitt - get out there, a super hero like you's no good on here we need you at the sharp end, sweeping the trash from the streets.

10-15% chance of being a Jihadi.

Does not having a fixie lower or raise my score? I will admit to owning a singlespeed but never, ever ride it.

(Amount of beard * lack of fashion sense - skin colour) x (carrying rucksack - riding a fixie * looking shifty - Not in shoreditch) = chance of danger

No beard, no fixie but often score in all the others. Resulted in 2 stop and searches. 😕 One nice and polite one, and the other extremely aggressive with the copper yelling in my face claiming I had a fuel can of petrol. (I had a water bottle of ...water!).

Never going to grow a beard in case Woppitt spots me somewhere near a building.

I know where you live.

No beard, no fixie but often score in all the others. Resulted in 2 stop and searches.

I don't meet the typical criteria for a stop and search these days but I did when I was younger, the IRA were the terrorist threat and I used to travel to Ireland regularly. I got stopped quite often in those days.

Damn - will have to get a fake beard so he doesn't spot me... oh wait

I don't meet the typical criteria for a stop and search these days but I did when I was younger, the IRA were the terrorist threat and I used to travel to Ireland regularly. I got stopped quite often in those days.

SWYDT!

Does not having a fixie lower or raise my score? I will admit to owning a singlespeed but never, ever ride it.

Raises it. Terrorists never ride fixies, as the chance of back pedalling when escaping is too much to risk.

Raises it. Terrorists never ride fixies, as the chance of back pedalling when escaping is too much to risk.

But surely the narrow handlebars would help cutting through the traffic when making your escape. Although trying to pedal with your sisters jeans on might slow things down.

So faux fixies with freewheels then. That's it. Round 'em up now

But surely the narrow handlebars would help cutting through the traffic when making your escape. Although trying to pedal with your sisters jeans on might slow things down.

It's a trade-off Steve. You might blend in more wearing girls jeans and carrying a satchel, but for performance you really want a rucksack and something more comfortable.

It's a trade-off Steve. You might blend in more wearing girls jeans and carrying a satchel, but for performance you really want a rucksack and something more comfortable.

You appear to know too much about this subject so I suspect someone public minded will be in the process of making a report...

Hi.

hireahonkey coz woppit says so.

Sorry completely misread that.
[img] [/img]

There are real terrorists and hollywood movie terrorists, only the latter carry out a recon and take photos.....

See http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2008/jun/05/news.terrorism

The 9/11 terrorists didn't photograph anything. Nor did the London transport bombers, the Madrid bombers, or the liquid bombers arrested in 2006. Timothy McVeigh didn't photograph the Oklahoma City Federal Building. The Unabomber didn't photograph anything; neither did shoe-bomber Richard Reid. Photographs aren't being found amongst the papers of Palestinian suicide bombers. The IRA wasn't known for its photography.

Terrorists taking pictures is a quintessential detail in any good movie. Of course it makes sense that terrorists will take pictures of their targets. They have to do reconnaissance, don't they? We need 45 minutes of television action before the actual terrorist attack -- 90 minutes if it's a movie -- and a photography scene is just perfect. It's our movie-plot terrorists that are photographers, even if the real-world ones are not.

You appear to know too much about this subject so I suspect someone public minded will be in the process of making a report...

I am part of the AHJFIU (Anti Hipster Jihadi Fashion Intelligence Unit)

We're a small unit, but in high demand across East London.

[img] https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcShYtRlt-aypdK2m6z8JNNe0udyAl9BHtP21TfRXxovZsQ1rj3Y0A [/img]

Is this what they mean by Operation Lightning? If so, I'm really scared now.

There are real terrorists and hollywood movie terrorists, only the latter carry out a recon and take photos.....

Those Shoreditch hipster terrorists might, but they'd definitely do it in black and white, probably using a medium format Lomo.

Three or four young "Asian" looking men. Full muslamic beards, [b]full desert pattern camouflage fatigues and combat boots[/b]. I think one of them even had a Taliban floppy hat.

They used to meet up together an wander off somewhere.

I did briefly wonder about informing "the authorities", but then realised they were all a bit too Tooting Popular Front. I guess real terrorists would try and draw less attention to themselves.

[b]Mind you, I haven't seen them for about a year[/b]

Maybe they've upgraded their camouflage and are still there. Watching you and waiting.

Nope. They'll be holidaying in a nice resort in Cuba, guests of our American friends.

I'd use a large format view camera. Better for getting the perspective correct on these difficult building photos. Obviously I would need a massive tripod and thus would need a trailer to carry all this.

So hipster, on a faux fixie with a trailer...?

So hipster, on a faux fixie with a trailer...?

Needs shooting for sure - terrorist or not.

[img] [/img]

here you go. Whoever owns this is guilty for sure. Own up then.

(Surly with a trailer...... must be someone here 😉 )

I'd use a large format view camera.

The cynic in me reckons that the MET just reckon they can jump on the back of the French incident and raise the threat level to help push through some more anti-freedom legislation e.g. making it illegal to have a mobile phone with more than a single digit pin code or mandatory DNA testing for all non white people...