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[Closed] Just had row with next door neighbour

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[#5334463]

We've lived next door to them for over 6 years (semi detached).

Today I come down from my workroom in the attic to the smell of fumes filling the upstairs rooms. She has her diesel car running.
I ask her politely could she turn off the engine, I then get a tirade of abuse. It turns out she has her 18 month old baby in the car on one of the hottest days of the year.
Now if I can smell fumes then surely (even with the air con on) the child will be getting some smell through the open car windows.

I stupidly in the heat of the moment said I wouldn't put a child in a car in this heat and she's really kicked off.

She said I'm calling her an unfit mother, she doesn't want to reason or listen.

We get on with all our neighbours and this is going to be tough as they are attached to us. My husband plays drums, (which he has now stopped with them having a baby), so I got an earful of her complaining about that. She's shouting that my husband came round one night to complain about her noise (endless parties).

We've tolerated them having endless parties when we first moved in (they were in their mid 20s then). They smoke around the baby, not just cigarettes but other stuff.

Every evening since the warm weather the boyfriend has lit a barbecue which of course blows the smoke into our garden.

They had 2 barking dogs when we first moved in which drove me mad, (only have one now).

Their cat digs up my veg plots.

Our young nephew often stays over and has had unbroken nights sleep with their baby crying.

In our close (a small cul de sac) we all get on, help each other with looking out for properties and keeping an eye on the 2 elderly residents.

Because I work from home I often take in all the parcels full of tat that she buys from China for the child.

Anyway, I know there are far worse things in the world than this.
Just had to get a rant off my chest.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:47 pm
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No offence, but this - "I stupidly in the heat of the moment said I wouldn't put a child in a car in this heat", this - "My husband plays drums", this - "a barbecue which of course blows the smoke into our garden" and this - "unbroken nights sleep with their baby crying" make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:52 pm
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You need to start taking a more hardline approach

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:53 pm
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lol @

I often take in all the parcels full of tat that she buys from China

6/10 - no swearing or subtle hints at violence.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:54 pm
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Sounds like you're not cut out for having a house adjoined to someone else's ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:54 pm
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I think i might be your neighbour, without the kiddy ๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:55 pm
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Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control. Either that or have them....taken care of.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:56 pm
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Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control.

+1


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:58 pm
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It's great this hot weather, innit. Brings out the best in people. ๐Ÿ˜


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 3:58 pm
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I do hope bunnyhop doesn't revisit this thread, it's not going to be calming.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:00 pm
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Need to start throwing used female sanitary products over the fence I reckon. Double points for getting them in the pond, Triple for the trampoline.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:01 pm
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Do you want us all to come round for a massive all night party, with a whopping great big sound system on the back of a flat bed truck?

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:01 pm
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make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...

Leave it they are both lovely

That is why I rarely start a thread you often end up the victim of someone elses need to have a pop pointlessly

Agre ewith nip it in the bud though they seem a bit chavvy [ see I will take your grief now ]


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:02 pm
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That is why I rarely start a thread you often end up the victim of someone elses need to have a pop pointlessly

Coward.

๐Ÿ™‚


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:04 pm
 nbt
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[quote=theflatboy ]No offence, but this - "I stupidly in the heat of the moment said I wouldn't put a child in a car in this heat", this - "My husband plays drums", this - "a barbecue which of course blows the smoke into our garden" and this - "unbroken nights sleep with their baby crying" make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...

Gosh you've got a very active imagination.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:04 pm
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Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control. Either that or have them....taken care of.

Tried that after falling out with my neighbours. They took the wine, slammed the door in my face, and haven't spoken a word since. Uneasy truce, I think.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:04 pm
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I'm really not having a pop, but the bit about the baby crying was the tipping point, as the parent of an 11-month old. Not really much you can do about crying babies - coincidentally our neighbour above plays the drums. We never mention it, he doesn't seem bothered about the crying baby. Give and take, and all that.

We also have barbecues...


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:05 pm
 DezB
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[i]Sounds like you're not cut out for having a house adjoined to someone else's[/i]

Is anyone?

Bunnyhop's neighbours, yesterday:
[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:05 pm
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Agre ewith nip it in the bud though they seem a bit chavvy

Damn classist! ๐Ÿ˜€


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:05 pm
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kayak23 - Member

Go round with some wine or something and nip it. No point letting tension grow and get out of control.

Indeed, and when they've gone out, draw a big peenor on their lawn using vinegar.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:06 pm
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Lets be honest a lot of the points raised in the OP seem pretty academic and irrelevant to the issue. I take the OP's point about car fumes filling the bedroom though as I suppose that could be a bit annoying.

Kayak23 is totally right imo and I would just go round and apologise and avoid the inevitable years of acrimony with a ten minute chat.

Regardless of whether you're right or wrong it will be for the best in the long run, maybe just make up some bullshit about some other stressful situation that tipped you over the edge or whatever.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:06 pm
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make me think living next door to you guys isn't exactly paradise...

Leave it they are both lovely

What JY said...


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:06 pm
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"I stupidly in the heat of the moment said I wouldn't put a child in a car in this heat"

Yes, that is stupid. Never talk about others' little preciousssssss ...

Let the child roast and boil until the fresh fall off like freshly roasted piglet. Then lick the tear off the parents cheeks for not taking your advice.

Alternatively, live and let live after all it's summer ...

My mate is a grumpy bloke but if he lives next door to me he would meet my mate Benelli M4 in the face. I told him that. ๐Ÿ˜†


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:07 pm
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go round with some wine? by the sounds of them a 4L bottle of cider might be more appealing.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:08 pm
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'm really not having a pop, but the bit about the baby crying was the tipping point, as the parent of an 11-month old

You do not want to hear it and get a good nights sleep but you produced it so your problem - FOUR ****ING YEARS I HAD WITH MY ELDEST
Do you think your neighbours want to hear it?

Thankfully ours were deaf so it was a non issue but we did discuss it with them as we assumed it would be waking them


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:09 pm
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Sounds like they're more likely to appreciate a bag of skunk than a poxy bottle of vinegar. ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:09 pm
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No need for nasty comments. ๐Ÿ˜

Children's thermostats are different to adult thermostats. Bunnyhop was absolutely right to be concerned about the child.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:10 pm
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patriotpro - Member

Sounds like they're more likely to appreciate a bag of skunk than a poxy bottle of vinegar.

Or get them hook on meth then treat/use them as slaves ... ๐Ÿ˜ˆ


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:11 pm
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Go with the wine suggestion. Which one you opt for is the only dilemma

[img] [/img]


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:11 pm
 DezB
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[i] Bunnyhop was absolutely right to [s]be concerned about the child.[/s][/i] stick her nose in. ๐Ÿ˜‰


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:12 pm
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lol@binners
Why was the kid in the car on the drive anyway? cooling down with the air con?


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:14 pm
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Start digging out for your new patio or under a pond is a good one too so I've heard


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:14 pm
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[i]cooling down with the air con? [/i]

but bunnyhop said the car windows were open?

maybe the kid was asleep when she pulled up after going out and she wanted her to sleep a bit longer?


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:14 pm
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There's a big section of people in here really don't like people who are "working class" isn't there?

Said it before and I'll say it again - your snobbery says a lot more about you than it does about them.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:15 pm
 DezB
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edlong - there's working class and there's scumbags.
Do you have to be working class to smoke and leave your kid in a car?
Get real.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:16 pm
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Children's thermostats are different to adult thermostats

We have thermostats? What do they switch?


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:16 pm
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just to clear things up, your neighbour's toddler was sat in the car on the drive with the air con on keeping it cool because it was hot outside?


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:21 pm
 nbt
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[quote=brakes ]just to clear things up, your neighbour's toddler was sat in the car on the drive with the air con on keeping it cool because it was hot outside?

with the engine running and the windows open, usually. And it;s not to keep her cool, it's the get her to sleep as "she sleeps better there", it's happpened all through winter too (although with the windows closed then)


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:23 pm
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Not really much you can do about crying babies

That is twaddle - There is shit loads you can do about crying babies.

Step 1 - Try to figure out why they are crying and fix it.
Step 2 - If you aren't able to fix it take the baby to the point of the house where it will least affect the neighbours


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:23 pm
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I've heard of some middle class folks leaving their children in far more vulnerable places.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:23 pm
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edlong - there's working class and there's scumbags.
Do you have to be working class to smoke and leave your kid in a car?
Get real.

No, so perhaps you can explain where the assumptions about liking 4 litre bottles of cider, or Lambrini, smoking meth, "being a bit chavvy" or looking like Harry Enfield characters come from? These are the kinds of comments that get made, aren't they? That's the thing though, in here it seems that people are more offended by someone "being a bit chavvy". There's more snobbery than concern about a child's welfare in the thread I'm reading.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:24 pm
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Children's thermostats are different to adult thermostats. Bunnyhop was absolutely right to be concerned about the child.

Apart from the aircon mentioned - which means it might have been the coolest place for him/her to be......

Neighbours - sometimes a strain, sometimes a pleasure. These days I have work colleagues for neighbours which brings its own peculiar issues. It's quite hard to take someone seriously in a meeting when you have seen him in his wife's pink frilly dressing gown nipping out to the bins 30mins before or (more worryingly) have a rational work conversation with someone when they have kept you up all night with a high volume door slamming, crockery throwing heated row.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:24 pm
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ehhh, nbt = bunnyhop?


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:24 pm
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ehhh, nbt = bunnyhop?

A Couple


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:25 pm
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Thanks Jy and Teetosugars.

I have already apologised to the neighbour, however she's not having any of it. I even tried to put my arm around her as she was in such a state.

I also tried to quell her tirade by saying hello to the baby (of which I was accused of waking up, even though it was the mother who was doing all the shouting)and was told not to speak to her. Oh well.

Snob me never ๐Ÿ˜‰

I'm just nipping out to the back garden now to throw back over the fence all the rubbish that they fling our way, you know fag ends, bits of old tat, plastic bags, cardboard etc.


 
Posted : 15/07/2013 4:25 pm
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