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... and boy did that not go down well!
Firstly I was told I'd ruined his life, then that I didn't know what I was doing, then that I wouldn't amount to anything elsewhere, then he begged me to change my mind.
I've just finished begging call number four, where only during that call did he actually realise that by saying 'I've accepted the job' I meant 'have returned the signed employment contract'.
He rang off in a huff.
The next three months of my notice period are going to be fun...
tell my partner about it.. 3 months of working for a complete **** and resisting the urge not to tell him (being professional)... the same boss lost 4 staff on the same day (day after their bonuses were confirmed), yet the company still won't accept there a management issue..
I had a similar situation but thankfully I handed my notice in a week before a 3 week holiday shutdown so I only had to endure the misery for a week...doesn't help your situation mind. I was hoping gardening leave would be on the table (since I was going to a direct competitor) but that didn't happen.
make sure you formally hand in your notice !
Congratulations and I guess it's nice to be wanted, but sounds like you are much better off getting away from a boss like that.
When I handed my notice in at my last job, my department manager (so my boss's boss) didn't speak to me at all. Not a why/where are you going, not even a good luck or goodbye on my last day. It made the exit interview with HR a lot easier though. I didn't feel so bad telling them what a terrible manager he was and how not one person in the department has any time for him 😀
Sounds like your best off without him. Good luck for the new job.
Never had that kind of reaction - usually they are pleased to see the back of me!
I remember handing my notice in for a job many years ago. Walked into the bosses office holding a letter, boss said "Who is it this time?" as we'd had a few staff leave in recent months.
"Me"
"Ah. Sit down".
Had a very amicable chat, he understood the reasons, couldn't believe I'd haggled a 40% pay rise out of it, accepted it was a great career opportunity for me. Last working day he took me out to lunch at the s****iest local eatery and picked my brains on what the company needed to be addressing to retain people, and what he needed to do as a manager to improve for his team.
Wow, that's shocking behaviour! I'm on the last two days of a 3 month notice period and my boss has been great. There's no call for that kind of nonsense - its a job, none of us is indispensable (even if we like to think we are!) and life goes on.
Not sure I'd be feeling very motivated to work the notice in those circumstances (and it's felt like a very long time for me when the relationships are good!)
Sounds like he went through a few stages of grief in a very short time frame. Congratulations!
then that I wouldn’t amount to anything elsewhere, then he begged me to change my mind
Lol. What a pillock.
My wife's workplace haemorrhages staff, and they never do exit interviews or even discuss it.
Careful now, he’ll have a key logger installed in no time!
As an employer myself it is very stressful - indispensable or not, the recruitment and training process in itself can be challenging - especially in high-growth businesses like we are in where getting good staff is very hard (with there being so much competition around).
I especially hate the late night emails saying 'can I have a quick catch up first thing in the morning' which invariably means the same thing every time - so I get a sleepless night and extra stress that I don't need. Recently we had one sent to my business partner and myself last thing on the Friday afternoon asking for the meeting on Monday FFS.
Much more of that behaviour and I would be using it as an excuse to go sooner. A reference only needs to be a confirmation of job title and period of employment anything more is a bit old fashioned
The next three months of my notice period are going to be fun…
Will they take you sooner?
Firstly I was told I’d ruined his life, then that I didn’t know what I was doing, then that I wouldn’t amount to anything elsewhere, then he begged me to change my mind.
If you can get him to say that in writing, I think you'd have the basis to say the mutual basis of trust and confidence on which the contract was based was now gone and you'd not work your notice (get some advice before doing that). I suspect that would be best done by you the day of/after payroll as he doesn't sound like he'd be too happy!
I guess it’s nice to be wanted
At the last job I resigned from my line manager started crying as I told her, I didn't know when I sat down that 2 other members of my team had already resigned that morning, 3 out of 5 gone in a day, it wasn't in any way planned either.
Felt like a bit of an arse initially but that soon wore off as I was frog-marched out the building and put on lovely lovely gardening leave, it was 100% the right move.
Couple of jobs back, I handed my notice in and I was then sent to any project which involved me being at least 3hrs away from the office for my entire notice period. Taking resignation personally isn't a good way of doing it. They need to learn why people want to leave, not throwing a tantrum.
When I left my last job, with another one to go to, I’d had 10 months of micromanagement, weekly one-to-one meetings, an extended probation and , essentially, bullying by my manager. When I gave her my notice she said ‘job too much for you then?’ To which I replied “it’s not the job, it’s the manager”. That knocked her back a bit.
I told HR in the exit interview why I was leaving.
A week after I finished, the only other BA in the team also handed in her notice, only somehow she managed to wangle no notice period, so our manager had lost both her business analysts within a week of each other.
I bet that went down well with the management team. I would have liked to be a fly on the wall in that discussion
I'd say dont in any way escalate it. I resigned from a job and there were multiple attempts to get me to stay / crossed with a fair bit of attitude that I was ruining everything (neither my direct manager or site manager said goodbye on my last day). I just stuck to being professional and not responding to any jibes about the situation. I thought bridges were probably burned, but less than a year later they were ringing up to persuade me to go back and (almost) name my price, circumstances werent right but its good to keep those sort of options open...
Also note of course you can take unused annual leave to shorten notice period
He rang off in a huff.
The next three months of my notice period are going to be fun…
😄
they never do exit interviews or even discuss it.
The last role I was in, they pretty much admitted that they didn't do exit interviews because they knew they wouldn't like the answers.
People are weird. Absolutely no need to take a resignation so personally. I had one yesterday and am gutted as she's a great member of the team, but it's more money and better prospects. So I gritted my teeth and gave my congratulations.
Sounds like he went through a few stages of grief in a very short time frame. Congratulations!
It did actually sound like what I imagine an abusive partner to be like - firstly abusive then begging me to come back, promising me he'll change!
Careful now, he’ll have a key logger installed in no time!
Lol!
make sure you formally hand in your notice !
Will do - other people are aware, but I thought I do them the courtesy of telling them first before sticking it in (so to speak!).
As an employer myself it is very stressful – indispensable or not, the recruitment and training process in itself can be challenging – especially in high-growth businesses like we are in where getting good staff is very hard (with there being so much competition around).
Yep, I completely understand - what prompted the immediate call was we were due to interview someone else later this week, so I thought he needed to know before we did that.
Will they take you sooner?
I'm sure they would, but (so far!) I'm happy to work my notice - I don't want to let anyone down at my current place. If they want me to go sooner, I'd be happy to - and the dream would be garden leave, but I suspect not a chance!
If you can get him to say that in writing, I think you’d have the basis to say the mutual basis of trust and confidence on which the contract was based was now gone and you’d not work your notice (get some advice before doing that
Nah, he was just being a drama queen. Can't do anything without soliloquising about it!
put on lovely lovely gardening leave, it was 100% the right move
The dream!
I’d say dont in any way escalate it.
No, not intending to. It's going to be hard if he keeps this up, but I'll manage. TBF the money (a 1/3 increase) is the only reason, so I like to leave a place on good terms just in case. You never know when you might need a favour!
… and boy did that not go down well!
Oh dear how sad never mind. Did any of those subsequent phone calls offer you a financial incentive to stay?
The next three months of my notice period are going to be fun…
Is that enforceable? Are you in a senior position / been there twelve years, is it going to take three months to find a replacement?
Some people take it REALLY badly god knows why they will bin you off soon enough to save their business. I once left a job where my then boss told me it was the worst career decision I could make, (I was doubling my salary) and that leaving within a year I was required to pay the recruitment fee. I told him my contract didn't say that and he said "I will come at you with everything I can to get my money back" didn't want me to work a notice and told me to leave there and then. I didn't hear from him or his company ever again.
I'm on a sabatical after resigning a couple months back...
There were many straws that broke the camels back, micro management, frequently shifting goalposts, monthly consulatation style 'justify your existence' meetings dressed up as 1-2-1's, getting bollocked for submittimg an overtime claim for a business critical issue without prior authorisation, being refused technical resourses to get things done and then getting blamed for said things not getting done...the list goes on.
The final straw was being told to take on an ongoing task that would probably take up to 25% of my time, on top of my normal stuff. I almost launched my laptop across my home office in frustration after that call. It was at that point I decided life was too short to deal with that, and resigned, whilst getting signed off with stress for my notice period.
The attitude very quickly changed, "what can we do to make things better, how can we support you? etc".... well remember all those 1-2-1's that I would repeat the same old issues every time, and you'd deflect the issue right back onto me?? The horse had well and truly bolted by that point though, so my answer was a professsional - "nothing, I've made up my mind, all the best".
Oh dear how sad never mind. Did any of those subsequent phone calls offer you a financial incentive to stay?
Yep, in very general terms and with vague promises about the future, but couldn't match the current offer!
Is that enforceable? Are you in a senior position / been there twelve years, is it going to take three months to find a replacement?
Probably, yes/no, and probably if not longer! I don't want to leave anyone in the lurch, I'd like to be a 'good leaver' and wrap up as much as I can before I go. The market for my role at the moment is very much candidates hold all the cards as there's a dearth of people around so they can be very expensive and hard to come by.
nd that leaving within a year I was required to pay the recruitment fee. I told him my contract didn’t say that and he said “I will come at you with everything I can to get my money back” didn’t want me to work a notice and told me to leave there and then. I didn’t hear from him or his company ever again.
My boss tried the "you'll have to pay the recruiter fees" until I pointed out I applied directly for my present job, and there's nothing in my contract. I think he was desperate and not really thinking straight at that point!
There were many straws that broke the camels back,
I have had a lot of micromanagement - but otherwise it's a great place to work, and I'll be sad to move on, but that sadness will be allayed by the large wodge of cash in the new place!
If they were getting you cheap then of course they'll be sorry to see you go.
😉
My first boss lost it with me when I handed my notice in, turned really nasty - I remember I had a (shitty) company car and he made me leave it at the site (in Croydon) and get the train home on my last day. He threatened some other stuff that I just laughed off and he told me I wouldn't like it where I was going.
This is the fella who gave me my first ever job, promoted me to office manager, poached me to the new site, the Croydon one, when I lived in Portsmouth... He'd been great to me right up until that time, then started slagging me off and saying how this other guy (that I'd recruited) was so much better than me!
Funny thing was, he tried to stop my final wages and they ended up paying me twice for the last month I worked, so I got the last laugh 😛
I did consider sabotaging his car (I was young!), but never bothered in the end. 😆
Not sure which industry you're in, but in IT it always pays to not burn bridges, It's scary how many people have worked together and know each other, it's a damn small world!!!
Been in IT for over 30 years and never encountered someone from a previous job... But then again I've only worked for 4 or 5 different companies in all that time.
Congratulations on the new job OP.
Sounds like you're best off out of it. That's a weird set of reactions.
The first boss I handed my notice in to (summer job at sailing school) told me I wouldn't amount to anything and besides which she knew everyone on the outdoor education business and would see to it they wouldn't employ me
She now lives locally, and 30 years later I'm so tempted to pop a business card through the door with my "Scotland Director, National Outdoor Learning Charity" on it. 😎
especially in high-growth businesses like we are in where getting good staff is very hard (with there being so much competition around).
If you are having trouble recruiting then you are underpaying. Market forces and all that
She now lives locally, and 30 years later I’m so tempted to pop a business card through the door with my “Scotland Director, National Outdoor Learning Charity” on it. 😎
😂 revenge - a dish best served 30 years cold!
Latest was another 20min call where he said he'd taken legal advice on termination of my new contract with my new employer and I could pull out if I wanted to...🙄 had to end that call as a client called, but dreading calling him back now!
My boss tried the “you’ll have to pay the recruiter fees”
I've literally never heard of that being a thing before.
I must have led a sheltered employment life - some of these responses from bosses are absolutely insane
I got made redundant and my job moved to the Philippines, we were asked if we'd have an exit interview and i agreed, thinking it would be with manager in UK, nope, i got a call from an anonymous person in the philippines, first question "why do you want to leave your job?" !!!
An old boss of mine didn't speak to the entire dept for a couple of weeks after I handed my notice in. I bumped into his wife a while after and she said he sulked at home as well!!!
' If you are having trouble recruiting then you are underpaying. ' Not always - there simply may not be enough suitable people around. We're horrifically busy, and annoyingly part of my team resigned a few weeks ago. Replacing here will take months/years as you've got to find someone, then get them used to the data and science of our project, so we probably won't.
The attitudes recounted here are amazing, unbelievable. I wished her good luck, she's done good work for me, and she's got good reasons for leaving - career change, and a change in location, so good luck to her.
there are some interesting stories there. are these horror bosses in small businesses/owners of the business? i can imagine the situation being taken personally in those cases, but doesn’t make it acceptable.
the guy asking for “his money” back is interesting.
If you are having trouble recruiting then you are underpaying.
Well no, we aren't really. We just happen to work in a particular sector of the business that is quite niche (web development with a strong focus on NHS and public sector). So many potential employees just don't find it as sexy as working for consumer brands.
‘ If you are having trouble recruiting then you are underpaying. ‘ Not always – there simply may not be enough suitable people around.
That's the whole thing about tj's "market forces" point though. Unless it's literally such a specialist field that enough people don't exist in the whole world.
Unless it’s literally such a specialist field that enough people don’t exist in the whole world.
Welcome to my world...
When people left my group I always wished them well and thanked them for the valuable contribution they have made. In a small field it's good to see outside, collect best practice and further the field. Many come back. If companies are recruiting from your talent pool for better opportunities than you can offer, that's a compliment.
Not sure which industry you’re in, but in IT it always pays to not burn bridges, It’s scary how many people have worked together and know each other, it’s a damn small world!!!
IT is a *huge* field. And it's only getting bigger and more diverse. It's easy enough to avoid people if you really want to.
Ugh, another call with lots of emotional blackmail. I am really not enjoying this...