Is this clamp?

Warning, there's been a clamp down on parody threads.

Genuine question.
Who is parodying my thread?

Cramp if woodworking, otherwise clamp.

i call them clamps

Sash cramps and G clamps - this text will not change from Italics…

Don't know but there pretty spend to buy. Inherited a number plus extensions from my FIL, currently gluing the guinea pig hutch back together.

@kayak23 are you teasing us? I thought you were a craft person?

now two things here why is the font bonkers.

And I've always gone shash cramps

And clamps for everything else apart when I "put a bessy on it for big things that needed an extra nudge"

I like etymology but this seems to be a "nobody knows" one. The term cramp IIRC goes back to medieval times but for masonry fixings rather than anything like a modern clamp/cramp, more like brick ties.

I reckon it's basically just one of those things where a messy bit of wordage has lasted long enough that people get attached to it and start attaching mythologies to it and getting really intense about it for no reason and thinking it makes them better or smarter than other people, like further and farther. But since a cramp clamps and a clamp clamps but a clamp doesn't cramp and everyone knows what you mean, the sensible thing to do is just decommission cramp and say clamp for everything. Of course we do not do that. the idea that the tool's name is dictated by the job it's used for is... mental, tbf. Oh yeah that's a hammer if you're hitting a rock but it's a harmer if it's for hitting wood and a hamrer if it's for hitting metal.

And I’ve always gone shash cramps

You are Sean Connery and ICMFP

It's in the post