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If you don't mind me asking was it a traumatic birth?
Wow... I think I owe Mrs Weeksy an apology based upon some posts on here.
I thought I was being hard done to !
If you have not read it already, I strongly recommend the first chapter of Dan Savage's "Savage Love". It is called something like "It is never OK to cheat. Except when it is".
hora - Member
If you don't mind me asking was it a traumatic birth?
Not at all. Ever since we said "I do" it was like a switch was flicked; before that, we used to be at it like rabbits. It was two weeks before we even consumated our marriage.
I do love her and have always worked on the assumption that no relationship is 100% perfect. Some couples argue, fall out, loose trust etc. We don't have sex. Some of the posts up there about seeking professional intervention have got me thinking.... But could I handle the guilt?? Probably not.
Yes come on then those of you still at it like rabbits - what's the secret? Is it just all about picking the right other half?
I've literally no idea. I do know that if I didn't fancy my other half I'd treat it like a friendship and I would look to leave and meet someone with who I did fancy. I (personally) think that one of the indicators of a healthy relationship is both being with someone who you don't get bored with, can relax and want to 'bed'.
A living arrangement is where one of the above is missing.
Jeez...where do I start with this one...
I can empathise with so many posts on here. My sex drive is much higher than my partners and this has caused too many problems and a real block in any activity. My depression certainly does not help. I think there has to be compromise, if, both people love each other and want to have a good level of intimacy.
I blame porn for my problems.
weeksy - Member
Wow... I think I owe Mrs Weeksy an apology based upon some posts on here.I thought I was being hard done to !
This got me thinking.....
(I can't think of a diplomatic way of asking this.)
Do you chaps "ask" for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you "go at it"? Apologies, I can't think of a better way of putting it... Maybe my view is a bit too romantic?
Not at all. Ever since we said "I do" it was like a switch was flicked; before that, we used to be at it like rabbits. It was two weeks before we even consumated our marriage.
Ahh, the classic 'Bait and Switch' 🙄
This got me thinking.....(I can't think of a diplomatic way of asking this.)
Do you chaps "ask" for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you "go at it"? Apologies, I can't think of a better way of putting it... Maybe my view is a bit too romantic?
I found dragging her up stairs by the hair kicking and screaming was counter productive.
freddyg - arrange a family member-babysitter for overnight, book a hotel in town (doesn't need to be far) and agree to switch off mobiles. Take mrsFreddy out for a meal. Tell her NO SEX but you want to give her the best oral ever. See where it leads.
(Sorry to be a bit graphic but if it was me - this is what I'd do). don't put any pressure on her/or imply any. Simply dress it up as fun/a night away from the kids.
You are a human first then a Dad. Everyone needs a break.
Do you chaps "ask" for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you "go at it"?
I think there is much to be said for "suggesting". If I just waited hopefully for MrsD to indicate that she fancied some we would never have sex at all. I'd have said that if your partner never initiates sex you don't necessarily have a problem, but if they actively don't want to whenever you ask then you probably do.
Tell her NO SEX but you want to give her the best oral ever. See where it leads.
In what world is giving oral not having sex? Oh hold on you are Bill Clinton and I claim my cigar
Hora if they dont want to have sex with you they dont even want to kiss you never mind that ..you are so sexual obviously you have never been there but it would not work.
it would be like saying that to a work colleague bu twith less chance of success
JY +1 - has hora ever posted anything helpful on threads like this?
[i]If you don't mind me asking was it a traumatic birth? [/i]
if she's not been near him for 7 years then it's more likely it was a traumatic conception.
[i]Do you chaps "ask" for sex? Does the missus lie back and think of England while you "go at it"? [/i]
I usually do 'the look'. If the wife does the look back then I'm on, if she tells me to eff off or laughs then no.
Therefore I'd say that generally, women who have affairs are looking for love, romance and connection. Men are looking for sex.Of course there are always exceptions to the rule but I'd guess the above picture is fairly accurate for 90% of the population.
The 1950s called, they want their blinkers back. There is a simlier thread on the internet somewhere now where a group of women are lamenting over how they don't get enough from their hubbies.
If you don't have the same sex drive as your partner then your married to the wrong person.
Do you chaps "ask" for sex?
Not as such, you just need to know what buttons to press, and how to press them*. I could go into more detail, but reading the above, we're in the midst of a fragile economic recovery, and if all you lot start having sex with your wives again, I can see our national debt trend reversing again. So for the benefit of all, best I keep them to myself.
* and also when. Pressing the right buttons in Sainsbury's will only result in a firm no, and a punch on the nose. Especially if it's a shelf stacker you've never met before.
Samuri's look?
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Im guessing one or two of recent posters are aiming bitterness towards me. Its my opinion.
On a lighter note how does my other half know? I lower the union jack and raise the Jolly Roger flag...
[quote=hora said]Im guessing one or two of recent posters are aiming bitterness towards me. Its my opinion.
No bitterness, just pointing out that you don't know what you're talking about. It's an uninformed opinion.
*7yrs without sex.
You must have chinked glasses in a toast but not made eye contact
No bitterness, just pointing out that you don't know what you're talking about. It's an uninformed opinion.
How is it uninformed if I'm getting it myself?
Aracer + 1
Ah symmetry 8)
You must have chinked glasses in a toast but not made eye contact
❓
Hora if they dont want to have sex with you they dont even want to kiss you never mind that
That sounds like the voice of experience... 😉
In my experience, a woman's enjoyment of sex in general doesn't really change - they either enjoy it, they can take-it-or-leave-it, or they hate it. A lot of men seem to bemoan the fact that their SOs don't want to have sex any more and blame a shift in her attitudes, when they don't make the effort to be more attractive themselves.
I'd be very interested to hear what it is the OP wants his OH to do that she finds so repellant... Is it the old Limassol Slip? A bit of tromboning? Pegging perhaps? 😯
Having had sex with a shed load of people i can say sex does not matter, love does, you can buy sex for 20 pounds but 20 million wolnt buy you love.
Maybe the OP could try swinging??
I guess it depends on how weird/taboo the thing you want her to do is and how strongly she doesn't want to do it.
By this I mean she may tolerate something a bit odd if it pleases you but if it is a complete no no for her then I guess she has every right to refuse it.
And is it is something you have always been into and she knew about when you got together or is it something that you have tried to introduce?
I lower the union jack and raise the Jolly Roger flag...
You've changed since hora Jr came along. It used to be all about the flash grenades! 8)
Been reading this thread, Im so glad im not a heterosexual in a monogamous relationship , it sounds as fun as watching paint dry.
I guess it depends on how weird/taboo the thing you want her to do is and how strongly she doesn't want to do it.
probably a good idea to marry some one that's in to the same things as you!
but 20 million wolnt buy you love.
This reminds me of a Roy Chubby Brown line...
'Tyson offered Lenox Lewis 20million to fight him'. Lenox replied 'I'll think about it'. Roy adds 'I'll think about it?!!, for 20million I'd kneel and blow Mike Tyson infront of mi Mam and Dad'.
Me too!! 😆
So yes, you can buy love in my books 8)
So yes, you can buy love in my books
lol you cant buy my love, but you can rent it by the hour. 🙂
lol you cant buy my love, but you can rent it by the hour.
I'm not totally sure that's the lyric
So yes, you can buy love in my bookslol you cant buy my love, but you can rent it by the hour.
no pm feature on the forum.. 😥
no pm feature on the forum..
are you on fab?
Ive always been more of a traditionalist
@pictonroad - like a fat bike with 30 gears and slicks, 3DVgirl may be a little too niche for your liking
@pictonroad - like a fat bike with 30 gears and slicks, 3DVgirl may be a little too niche for your liking
thats made me lol 🙂
like a fat bike with 30 gears and slicks
Bouncy as hell and will have you off in no time at all?
Bouncy as hell and will have you off in no time at all?
yea its all in the wrist action.
temperamental, overcomplicated, and not generally considered to have much of a grip on their surroundings?
Edit - yes that may be a little cutting, but not something she isn't familiar with herself so i'm sure she'll understand 😀
yea its all in the wrist action.
I bet you'd be quite good at polishing cars?
temperamental, overcomplicated, and not generally considered to have much of a grip on their surroundings?Edit - yes that may be a little cutting, but not something she isn't familiar with herself so i'm sure she'll understand
I want to make it clear this bike is a 26er
like a fat bike with 30 gears and slicksBouncy as hell and will have you off in no time at all?
requires copious lubrication and special order rubber?
Surprisingly good fun to ride but you would be embarrassed if your mates saw you on it?
If any of you lovely lads are coming to the peaks pootel let us know..
Surprisingly good fun to ride but you would be embarrassed if your mates saw you on it?
Just tell em you did know.
I am but I'll be keeping quiet and out of trouble.
No it isn't the most important thing, but it is one of the things that's easiest to get wrong
Not in a "you're doing it wrong" stylee, more of the gulf between two people who really should be able to commincate but lack the awareness, understanding, or even willingness sometimes to care very much.
How is it uninformed if I'm getting it myself?
🙄
DrJ, Unfitgeezer + me. Not had any "physical relations" with the missus since Little MissG was conceived. She's 7 in May
Crikey! I do admire the honesty of STW sometimes....
*Awaits banhammer.
Hitachi.
Magic.
Wand.
DEF NSFW - DO NOT SEARCH FOR IT!!!! though it may save your marriage.
DEF NSFW - DO NOT SEARCH FOR IT!!!! though it may save your marriage.
I'm not sure how it would help, as a wife/girlfriend who doesn't want to have sex won't suddenly want to have sex just because your holding what looks to be (from Google search) an industrial strength dildo!! 😯
[url= http://open.spotify.com/track/2YDKa2IfYICO4nZdagv7Pn ]This will cheer you up[/url]
techsmechs knows his power tools!
Said tool always appears in every Japanese porn vid (I imagine/guess). I always thought they must be a 70's throwback/early incarnation of pleasure toys being used still today by thrifty Japanese porn directors...how wrong I am.
Some strange views here.
People who think sex stops at retirement (I know people in their late 80s who still enjoy it, male and female).
People who think it is automatically the OP who is "to blame"
There's a sort of checklist
1) Is this about your relationship as a whole? Does that need fixing first?
2) Is she depressed or does she have another medical issue which could cause this?
3) Do the two of you have enough time with each other alone, and when neither of you are tired/stressed/drunk?
etc etc.
But some couples do have a big mismatch in sex drive, and that may not necessarily be fixable, if the partner with the lower drive (not always the woman) doesn't see the mismatch as a problem or something they are willing to talk about or work on. And ultimately it may break the relationship. Been there.
I think [b]Ton[/b] was close to it. For a complete and happy marriage relationship you do need love, respect, friendship and sex - [i]of a frequency and type you can both agree on[/i].
[b]Dr J[/b] this is a real issue - you do need to think about if you can really be happy if the situation never changes. For some of us blokes, sex isn't just about getting our end away. It is about closeness and intimacy and communication. Are you going to be able to be happy if things don't change? If not, you need to let her know.
Like I previously said maybe the OP should try swinging, sex is like food, if you have the same thing every day you will soon get sick of it.
3dvgirl. Disagree. That I do disagree on.
3dvgirl. Disagree. That I do disagree on.
just out of interest why do you say that?
For some of us blokes, sex isn't just about getting our end away. It is about closeness and intimacy and communication.
Yes couldn't agree more, it's also a fun activity to do together, but a lot of women (and guys) don't seem to understand that and that's probably where it goes wrong.
The difficulty is though when faced with a low sex drive partner is if there's no sex or not much sex then that's just fine for them, so they think it's just normal to do it once in a blue moon, which it probably is for this type of person.
I've had this with a previous partner. She felt in the mood so rarely, whereas I'm a randy old dog, and as I was getting it so infrequently, it was a case of having to take any slight hint of an opportunity and try to exploit it. Normally I'd crash and burn and get the old 'too tired' or 'lets just cuddle' excuse, but maybe one time in 20 then things would work out good. Felt like rejection big time and got exhausting after a very short while (probably for her too) and despite us trying to talk about it she didn't see it as a problem, thought we had a great relationship and just wouldn't compromise. Needless to say we're not together any more.
Not heard from the OP in ages - do you think he's been scared off?
3dvgirl its about Creativity/putting effort in not 'box' ticking routine...
I've had my fair share of average one-nighters or girls with zero imagination in bed.
As a consumer society we are told to never feel happy until the next new thing...
3dvgirl its about Creativity/putting effort in not 'box' ticking routine...
I've had my fair share of average one-nighters or girls with zero imagination in bed.
Its like Pokemon to me 🙂
3dvgirl pre your edit I used to be like that too..
3dvgirl pre your edit I used to be like that too..
One day ill settle down, once I get in to 4 digits.
I enjoy Hora's bullet-proof confidence in his sexual prowess.
I feel no urge to speculate on whether or not he is justified, I just find the self-assurance very sexy. 🙂
I enjoy Hora's bullet-proof confidence in his sexual prowess.
confidence is the key to pulling, so maybe hes not bull shiting you.
I can't wait for Hora & 3dvgirl to meet at the Peaks Pootle, should be most entertaining!
I can't wait for Hora & 3dvgirl to meet at the Peaks Pootle, should be most entertaining!
🙂
It has its place but is not the most important thing, for sure.
Like others, I have a reduced-to-zero sex life although I have a long term partner. Our problem isn't kids, it's medication; methotrexate if all be told. Sadly, because of the high level she's on, Slackalice's suggestion is out of the question, too.
Do I miss it - you bet. At the ripe old age of 41 she's still hot as hell.
Has it weakened our relationship - no. I think it's actually strengthened it somehow.
Love her to bits...
hora - Member
3dvgirl its about Creativity/putting effort in not 'box' ticking routine...
I've had my fair share of average one-nighters...
Hora the thread is about intimacy not your experiences with multiple frames!
I lower the union jack and raise the Jolly Roger flag...
That's nice!! 😀
Avast! Mi beauty. Unleash a broadside against your flank thrn prepare to be boarded!
[i]Samuri's look?[/i]
More like
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Unleash a broadside against your flank thrn prepare to be boarded!
shouldn't that be the other way round?? 😕
It's not the most important thing, but without it a relationship isn't really complete, so you kind of need to make an effort at least a few times a month.
hora - Member
Avast! Mi beauty. Unleash a broadside against your flank thrn prepare to be boarded!
You are now definitely riding in front of me! 😯
Is sex the most important thing? No but it has to be equally the most important thing
A relationship with bad sex? No thanks, there is nothing worse than a sexually mismatched relationship
Is sex the most important thing? No but it has to be equally the most important thingA relationship with bad sex? No thanks, there is nothing worse than a sexually mismatched relationship
I once read that nobody walks away from a relationship which has great sex. And that is partially true. I can accept for various medical reasons the physical side becomes tough for some people - but it is part of a relationship.
If you are young isn, and the physical part of the relationship has gone, then you you be thinking of getting out and how to end it amicably. You will have an affair, she will have an affair (if not already) and the whole thing will turn to shit - and get very vitriolic
As a doctor once told me, sex drive in 95% mental ... if you are not prepared to give, share and enjoy your relationship with your partner then it is doomed
Sorry - but been there, done that