Forum menu
Some of the posters on this thread seem to be talking more about intolerance than introversion.
That is precisely what I was thinking. A few people could do with checking their understanding of what it is to be introverted.
I went to a party recently, friends that had gotten married in New Zealand but wanted a party when they got home. I wouldn't say I was looking forward to it but I wasn't dreading it either. I knew quite a few people there and it was good to catch up as most of us have kids and don't get together very often. After a couple of beers and some good food I had a really good night. It doesn't happen often but it does happen. I'm fortunate to work on my own so don't have to interact much during the day but I do a physical job so I'm always tired at the end of the day.
I quite like people, I like wandering into a pub and having a laugh and joke, I like to try for the assumption they're all OK really just weighed down with life's BS when they're glum and so will try and cheer folk up, sometimes it goes wrong, sometimes they don't want cheering up so happy enough to leave them to it. I guess that make me more extrovert than intro, but, as I've gotten older I'm not quite as tolerant of fools, but so often my job being sales related, I still have to put up with them, and I do sense a sea change in the way folk act compared to the past. There's a lot more casual rudeness, greetings not returned, basic kindnesses not proffered, more anger and envy and I find that difficult to cope with, time was I'd just smile and agree with quips and jokes at those not similar to the rest of us. I like nerds and odd folk, like to hang out with them (probably why it's interesting to visit forums like this with it's diversity of often strange opinions) but find myself at risk of more than just discussion in some alcohol fuelled venues defending what the room would find indefensible, so I am tending toward introversion, restraining comments and opinion more from fear of causing a ruck than necessarily changing my opinion.
Age is a debilitating thing no question, bad enough it attacks your physicality, a shame it has to vary your principals.
Cougar. a couple of years ago I did some online testing and read up a bit. It was a "lightbulb" moment as I thought "that explains a lot"
I am fairly sure that if I went to school now I would have a hat full of labels - ASD amongst them. I also can barely write with a pen and cannot spell certain words. Obsessive behaviour as well
the thing is I am 57 and have developed coping strategies that work fairly well. I hold down a good job, I am satisfied in my life. I have a good circle of close friends who accept my "oddness" and a good few of them know how to deal with me when I go OTT on something "TJ - you are at it again" and I have learnt to take the telling without rancour and return to planet normal. One close friend will wag his finger and me and say "TJ" which is the clue I need that I have exceeded societies norms. I will reply " have I done it again?" We both know that this is a good way to deal with it 'cos it means neither of us get offended - he or others in the room by my behaviour, Me by folk getting angry with me for reasons I simply don't understand
At what point does being a bit odd become eccentric become developmental abnormality?
I am not sure a formal diagnosis would help at all. If I was in my 20s yes but now? doesn't seem worth wasting professionals time when its not going to change anything
+1 for what Cougar just said. Easier said than done sometimes, and perennial guilt of ‘but he/she is my dad/mum’ and ‘what if i’d just tried harder’ is a tricky one to live with. Estranged (by choice) from my mother for about seven years now. I wish it had been better, but it wasn’t.
Right, you guys all need to stop this pish before you disappear up your own arseholes.
Just sayin'.