If you were to add ...
 

[Closed] If you were to add to the Singletrack Lockdown Illustration..

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..with cliquey forum in-jokes, what would you add? I’d have the badger/tubeless penguin in there somewhere, possibly a McMoonter woodpile and, most recently, a chimera in one of the neighbours gardens..


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 6:45 pm
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Unless I've missed them, some frozen sausages hammered into one of the lawns.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 7:23 pm
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Sex pond.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 7:34 pm
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A pair of embarrassing shoes.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 7:37 pm
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Picolax.....


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 7:42 pm
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Louise.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 7:46 pm
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is that the one with the campervan ?
I'd have the person inside shitting down a chimney rather than just on the floor of their own van


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 8:12 pm
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Frozen sausages, perhaps a dog getting bummed (no a fan of miniature schnausers, one of those) and Binners finally getting back into Greggs.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 8:26 pm
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Maybe we could commission Binners (do we have any other more appropriate crayonistas?) to do STW Lockdown Cover 2.0?


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 8:34 pm
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A gunmetal Audi A6 estate with Ling behind the wheel


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 8:41 pm
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... £500 plus VAT.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 8:46 pm
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As an aside,

Where did the 'frozen sausages' thing originate? I remember a time before it was an STW running joke but it then just seemed to spontaneously become a meme.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 8:48 pm
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To be honest there's way too many bikes and too few coffee machines in that illustration. That and not one person asking "what tyres for my decking".


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 8:56 pm
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We need outdoor Wifi in there....


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 9:04 pm
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From my own point of view it needs an irate parent pleading with the kids to go their homeschooling


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 9:10 pm
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From my own point of view it needs an irate parent tasering the kids to go do their homeschooling

FTFY


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 9:12 pm
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Maybe we could commission Binners (do we have any other more appropriate crayonistas?) to do STW Lockdown Cover 2.0?

flattered as I am for the thought, I couldn’t possibly follow that. I think it’s the work of utter genius!

I just ordered my print yesterday and it’ll be going up on the dining room wall next to my Jo Burt Singletrack 100 print


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 9:20 pm
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Can anyone tell me what the hell the tiger is about? Don't know where that has come from.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 9:34 pm
 Drac
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Orthopaedic shoes.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 9:59 pm
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A paperclip salesman at the door.....


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 10:13 pm
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Orthopaedic shoes.

You stand corrected?


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 10:22 pm
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Octopron.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 10:23 pm
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A radio controlled car, driven by Jeremy Corbyn.

Hannah watching the skies.

Bags of dogshit hanging from the trees.

A map of Surrey.

A packet of mince.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 10:23 pm
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plane on a conveyor belt....


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 10:35 pm
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An ipad showing a perfectly rendered view of the forum.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 10:35 pm
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Mint Sauce keyring...

Oh and there was far too much actual bike riding...


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 10:56 pm
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Sneaky Post

The sneaky post 🙂

Parking Post


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:16 pm
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Genuinely laughing at some of these.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:19 pm
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Ha, yeah, many of Jamie’s creations could be front runners. I guess a n’eer do well getting chased with bombers could be appropriate too


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:19 pm
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A big troll and a grammer Nazi.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:29 pm
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A family having a lockdown party and lots of curtain twitchers but no one actually approaching them. Blue flashing lights in the distance. Father of the family looking distinctly like a certain government advisor.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:31 pm
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An infernal bore talking gravel.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:34 pm
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The troll could also have a an Audi estate on the drive with the obligatory Santa Cruz on it's roof rack, looking like it is rarely ridden.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:35 pm
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Everyone either with terrible hair or a skinhead and everyone with beards including the men, women, children and family pets.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:37 pm
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As an aside,

Where did the ‘frozen sausages’ thing originate? I remember a time before it was an STW running joke but it then just seemed to spontaneously become a meme.

I believe that trope is actually property of pistonheads.

I'd provide more details as to why, but I'm a little traumatised at the moment having just been outside and discovered 6 frogs hopping about. I won't update the pond thread, but something's very wrong in my garden.


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:40 pm
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grammer Nazi

Oh, bravo!


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:42 pm
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I'm going to pretend that it was intentional and not a mistake. 🤫


 
Posted : 03/07/2020 11:55 pm
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I am now praying for a second spike and further lockdown in a hope that the next issue of singletrack runs with the cover using all of the above.

i am for ling and an allotment being encroached on by the neighbor.


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 12:10 am
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grammer Nazi

They're all on weightweenies


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 12:18 am
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A close pass, somehow avenged with Bombers, sausages, wee, back doors and a baby robin.


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 12:22 am
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Where did the ‘frozen sausages’ thing originate?

They’re all on weightweenies

Weight wieners?


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 1:47 am
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A road bike and weather-beaten arsey face.

Semi-retired rural idyll, pouring scorn on ne'er-do-wells and miscreants in the towns and inner city BTL ghettos/investment properties.


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 2:20 am
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It’s a bit low on the ethnic diversity scale...


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 6:11 am
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MTB is a bit low on the ethnic diversity scale generally, you can't really blame that on a magazine cover.


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 10:54 am
 Drac
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Screech head-locking a thief.

Penguin being pumped by a track pump.

A stash of undelivered iDave diet plans.

A Scandal with a broken frame being sold as new.

It’s a bit low on the ethnic diversity scale

It’s not a Disney kids TV show.


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 2:53 pm
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Just looked at the stw picture.... If that is ‘gym girl’ then she needs ginger hair


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 2:58 pm
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Joe Cocker on a bike would be comedy gold in my opinion. Especially considering I see him sometimes hitting the regional trail centres.


 
Posted : 04/07/2020 3:11 pm
 csb
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A stack of bog rolls and a pallet of flour.


 
Posted : 11/07/2020 1:53 am
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Hannah on FaceTime to her hubby in the US? Not sure if anybody else picked up on it (she barely even mentioned it), but apparently they were apart for lockdown.


 
Posted : 11/07/2020 9:47 am
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@solarider just be glad I’m not writing about the time when we’re together.


 
Posted : 13/07/2020 9:08 am
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I'd make the bloke doing the airfix kits younger and better looking.


 
Posted : 13/07/2020 11:23 am
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@solarider just be glad I’m not writing about the time when we’re together.

#shudders


 
Posted : 13/07/2020 11:33 am
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A few cats smothered in sudacrem and some big hitters hitting big things


 
Posted : 13/07/2020 11:39 am
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@funkrodent there is a sudocrem cat! Maybe you need the jigsaw to help you pore over all the details? 😉 They're being delivered to ST Towers today I think!


 
Posted : 13/07/2020 12:03 pm
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You and your bloke can do a jigsaw tonight then. Which is nice.


 
Posted : 13/07/2020 12:07 pm
 DezB
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You and your bloke can do a jigsaw tonight then

I've never heard it called that before


 
Posted : 13/07/2020 12:09 pm