[Closed] If you were going to kill yourself, how would you do it?

I always thought I'd jump off the Lune railway viaduct. That way my broken body would be washed out to sea and not bother anyone :o)

I think that bloke has a whole load of other psychosis, trouble is for most people thinking of killing themseleves there is nothing that excites them except possibly the suicide act itself.

what a pair of happy bastids yous two are

Dunno, but I'll try and take as many of you bastards out as possible.

I reckon I'd go for the cocaine and hookers route myself. Though apparently its medically impossible to OD on gak. So effectively you'd have to provoke a massive heart attack (quite easy to induce on gak) by simply shagging too much

Hmmmmmmmm

asphyxi****

conor - have you thought about Islam? I think, should you feel like popping your cork, they could offer you a way out

Whatever way you decide, don't drive into a lorry. Some twonk did that to my Father in law and not only killed himself but also ruined my father in law's legs.

There's a handmade chocolate shop near me. I'd break in, stuff myself silly, ignoring the sugar sweats. Then just eat the contents of the shop and stockroom, not sleeping or taking a break and very much like the Monty Python film I might explode after munching though that last 'Leetle waffer theen meent' (said in French waiter type acccent).

food would be involved........probably fried............and not vegitarian.

Binners, I'm with you although it most definitely is possible to OD on the ole columbian

By eating another of the pizzas I've just had.

binners - Member
His logic seems impeccable to me. He wasn't that arsed about living, so started jumping off stuff in increasingly dodgy scenarios. And if he does get killed, in his words... "I get what i always wanted'

Difficult to argue with that really. If I came over all 'Suicidal Sid' I rckon I'd have a bit of that first. Is there a better way to go then? Imaginative suggestions please...?

See the problem with that is that you you don't manage to do a proper job a kill yourself and say end up paralysed then your not really going to be too happy!

Me? Well I would kill myself by trying to live as long as i could...

I'd get a sun tan, a back pack and jump the barrier in a South London tube station. The good thing about this is I know the guy who shoots me won't suffer.

So Ton - effectively, if you fancied ending it all - you could just move to Glasgae 🙂

Perks of the job - I've got all sorts of things I could use relatively painlessly 🙂 *

* please note - I wouldn't do it, am of sound body and mind, and don't condone the use of drugs......mmmmmkay

Falling into a black hole which crushes you to a near-singularity, so that you have to be buried in an incredibly tiny coffin that still takes six struggling pallbearers to lift

Heroin me thinks. Always wanted to give it a go but seen as it ****s your life completly I will never try it. However if I was off to see saint Peter I might as well be smacked off my t!ts.

Failing that the the cocain and hooker route is a good second.

I'm with S&J....police assisted suicide is the way to go.

Its only just occurred to me: do you reckon thats what he was trying to do?

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By having too much sex draining my life force and dying with the satisfaction of satisfied women.

Or Hugh Hefner at 120 and dying during some loving with a few 25yrs old playboy bunnies...

Wakes up and falls off chair...dreaming again 😀

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Hef is my role model...

if i was ever selfish enough to do it i would set the lazer up in work, pick a nice bit of 316L stainless, set up a nice doodle on Radan, drink a bottle of JD, lay down on the bed wearing a mankeni and my motorbike boots and then wait for the lazer to warm up kick in then draw nice pattern all over my body... not exactly a quick death but i bet i'd be the first go in such a way.. 😉

I would spray my underarms with an aluminium based antiperspirant deodorant.

There was a taxi driver in Manchester who tied one end of a long rope to a lamp post, the other round his neck, then drove off with rope still attached as fast as possible. I think he hit about 50mph, then the rope got tight rather quickly and pulled his head properly off.

If you're going to do it do it right as George Micheal so rightly sang.....

I dont care how I die as long as I am not there

but drowning in a vat of Mackies vanilla ice cream has its merits

I would bore myself to death reading shit threads like this

I would bore myself to death reading shit threads like this/quote]

oh the irony!

 

I'd be chased off a cliff by a group of fit looking big breasted naked women

... on rollerskates?

A suicide bombing of whatever Orange parade the Paisley family are attending. It'd be my birthday too.

Sneak back stage at a 50cent gig, slide up to the man and his G unit and enquire if anyone fancied a bumming 🙂

But seriously barbiturates or old school anti-depressents, or on the off chance of laying my hands on them anaesthetics, a decade and a half of A&E work has shown me many ways not to do it 😆

I'd slap Chuck Norris's mum..........

Sadly I have to say I've considered this subject a few times in my life. I can think of any number of possible methods. Preferably the CO2 sleep/coma/brain dead/actually dead option would be best.
My main concern though would be how I was found and by whom. I wouldn't want anyone I care about to find me, and I don't want to have my ears nibbled off by foxes, so that's home and outside off the list.

Ideally you want to simultaneously "cease to exist", physically and in the minds of anyone who ever met you. Is that even possible yet? If not I'll have to wait for technology to catch up with my brilliant idea 🙂

Ideally you want to simultaneously "cease to exist", physically and in the minds of anyone who ever met you. Is that even possible yet?

Well I'll certainly do my best to forget that you ever existed SST.

Hope that helps 8)

that's a start - cheers.

😉

I would start by p1ssing everyone who cared about me, so much that they gave up. Then when I topped myself, I wouldn't worry so much about them mourning.

Shoot the back of my head off if could get a gun.

Sorry am I sounding too serious?

Sorry am I sounding too serious?

Not really. Through the mouth pointing the gun [i]upwards[/i], if you're serious ...... [i]not[/i] shooting through the back of the head. HTH

Ageing seems the best method to me...

deadlydarcy what'd the big man or his family ever do against you?

Liked Max Cavaleras' suggestion of swallowing a hand grenade, maybe right before riding off a high, sheer cliff

I knew somebody who jumped off the Forth Road Bridge but landed in the water next to a passing lifeboat (rather than landing on the concrete which is the preferred choice for most). Ended up in hospital with all of the same problems as she had previously, but with the additional problems of a load of broken bones and the knowledge that she was even rubbish at suicide.

suicide bomb among a large gathering of adult, non-disabled tricycle riders

I believe the 'best' method, if we're using 'best to describe cleanest and least painful and most likely to produce a succesful result, is lock yourself in a hotel room for the night and stick a face mask on connected to a helium bottle. That way you just pass out painlessly and suffocate and no-one you love will find your slowly cooling corpse. Thecleaners will find you next morning so no chance of you being interrupted.

Personally I'd try and make my suicide look like an accident, that way your family isn't filled with self-guilt about possibly causing it and the insurance companies pay out.

Something like a fall into a quarry when riding along the top on a bike, everyone would believe i was incompetant enough to do that.

Id throw myself in front of the 06:18 to Paddington at Twyford station just to piss-off thousands of random people....

Personally I'd try and make my suicide look like an accident

i reckon being eaten by a shark would be quite a mental way to go.

Gotta make sure that jump is from at least 7 storeys to statistically ensure success (apparently)

Always intrigued by the (Japanese?) suicide 'craze' of lighting a disposable BBQ in a closed room....

I saw the effect it had a mate when his Dad did it years ago, I struggle to even joke about it ....

If I was to do it I'd have to literally be alone in the world and to know I'd never be found by anyone who it would affect.

Id throw myself in front of the 06:18 to Paddington at Twyford station just to piss-off thousands of random people...

Please don't do that Stoner, my missus catches that train and will piss and moan about it to me for ages. Much better to jump in front of a train heading the other direction so that your death will benefit hundreds of people by reducing the amount of time they have to spend in the shit hole of Reading.

I'd try to get hold of a shed-load of pure heroin & overdose on it. I'm sure it's possible.

Other methods:
Hanging (wife's cousin) - Nah.
Cutting own throat with open razor (Great-aunt's husband in 1930s) -nah
Driving car off multistorey car park (drinking acquaintance) -nah
Jumping down tower block stairwell (Good friend, still miss him) -nah

Old age is the ideal way.
😕

Dont worry Ben - I have more sympathy with your missus 🙂

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/deserving-of-sympathy-or-contempt

Please don't do that Stoner, my missus catches that train and will piss and moan about it to me for ages

Compassionate woman your Mrs? 😆

she sounds like my kind of gal 😉

I'm liking that black hole idea a lot. Although even if you were crushed down into a singularity, surely you'd still weigh the same as before, except they'd be able to bury you in a tiny wee coffin?

Mine would be some sort of Evil Knievel style stunt involving a ramp, a stunning geographical feature, and a double decker bus filled with fireworks.

I'd read the Koran to a lion or tiger.

i've changed my mind. i will kill myself and probably many others by trying to do business with mongolians...... i can feel the life force draining away already, 6 weeks in...... I think Genghis Khan conquered the world by shrugging his shoulders and looking around sheepishly when something needed to be done