If...you were a traffic cop, what car would you pull and why?

I saw a van conversion that instead of a "GB" sticker on the rear had a "LSD" sticker, it also had stickers of mushrooms and fairy's - I'd hit em up...

And anyone parked like this:

Any 2015/16/17 BMW with a blue M on the back

Yeas, Any diesel VW, Beemer/ Audi badged up as an R, M or an S or whatever...usually accompanied with tatty aftermarket 'rims'.

Guarenteed to get a few violations on legality/roadworthiness, and possibly a large drugs haul... winner!

Where I live has a terrible problem with pavement / double yellow line parking. It's absolutely rife - often outside takeaways and almost always outside the local supermarket.

These cars would simply be blown up. As the owner "just nips into" the local shop, the police would be fully empowered to put the window through, lob a grenade in and then the bill for clean-up would be charged to the owner.

However, in a moment of civility, I would get them to remove babies/children and pets before the bonfire.

BMWs because most drivers are ****.

And Mercs. . . and indeed any other German make.

White vans and pickups at about 6:30pm as the pissed tradesmen are heading home for their tea.

The car with the person who threw a drinks can out the window while a marked car was behind them.

Also anyone parked on the zigzags at pedestrian crossings  even if it was only for two minutes.

Any one in an suv. Clearly they have no sense or they wouldn’t be driving one. I would start with range rovers and  go from there

Mercedes A class.

A decade or so back my answer would have been a Fiat Punto. YMMV

There’s an unmarked lorry patrols the A3/M25 sort of area and gets loads.

It's a national operation that's been running since 2014, variously called Op Orbital, Op Tramline, etc. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/unmarked-hgv-supercabs-will-patrol-m25-in-bid-to-reduce-road-collisions

Detects 5000 or so offences per year

Any car which is tailgating.  It’s frightening common and totally unnecessary.  In 90%+ of circumstances, there’s nowhere for them to go even if the car (less than 1m) in front of them wasn’t there.  Dangerous and ignorant.  Pulled, 6 points and £2000 should be the default.

Any car with “Powered by fairy dust” on it.

Unless qualified with "Driven by Jabba the Hut"

Mobile phone users.
Yeah the police should start using un-marked transit vans or something to catch phone users from the more elevated position, it would be like shooting fish in a barrel…

As already noted, the police use an unmarked tractor-unit to spot truck drivers misbehaving, some of the video is unbelievable, just because the drivers are high up they just think they can do anything they want, because nobody can see them.

All the ones with mobile phones (I’ve even seen iPads) on holders stuck to the middle of the windscreen.

Dunno about iPads, but that would mean hundreds, maybe thousands of people who’s only access to a decent satnav would be their phone on a suction holder on the screen, like I used to do for many thousands of miles, because a great majority of the vehicles I used to drive either had no built-in satnav, or else anything built-in would take far too much time to try to set up for the trip I would be doing to deliver the vehicle, with no guarantee it had been updated. My phone was always set so it’s bottom edge rested on the dash, to stop it vibrating. An iPad Mini would work just fine, it’s not much bigger than many phones these days.

Yes, it could be attached to the dash, but then there’s the problem that I keep banging on about, car dashboards becoming one huge screen that you have to take your eyes off the road to use; with a phone, or a dedicated satnav unit on the screen, it’s easy to just glance at to confirm what the voice instruction has said.

eddiebaby

Free Member

White vans and pickups at about 6:30pm as the pissed

You'd be disappointed pulling me over, in that case.

Dunno about iPads, but that would mean hundreds, maybe thousands of people who’s only access to a decent satnav would be their phone on a suction holder on the screen, like I used to do for many thousands of miles, because a great majority of the vehicles I used to drive either had no built-in satnav, or else anything built-in would take far too much time to try to set up for the trip I would be doing to deliver the vehicle, with no guarantee it had been updated. My phone was always set so it’s bottom edge rested on the dash, to stop it vibrating. An iPad Mini would work just fine, it’s not much bigger than many phones these days.

I still use my phone as a Sat Nav. It's either tucked away and just the voice prompts used or attached to the bottom right of the windshield so I can glance at it and it's not obstructing my view. Middle of the windshield, then your car gets exploded like mentioned up there

Closely followed by our Irish gentle travelling folk

how would you determine their nationality from outside the vehicle?

Nobody buys one of these with the intention of obeying speed limits.

Nobody buys one of these with the intention of obeying speed limits.

I think they are actually geo-fenced these days so the car knows if it's on a recognised race track etc. and it removes the limiters.

I think it will still 'only' be limited to 140mph on public roads though, and not any limit on acceleration/ I don't know the details.

But let's be honest, it's not people buying super expensive 'hyper cars' that are the real problem, it's karen in her range rover sport!

maybe thousands of people who’s only access to a decent satnav would be their phone on a suction holder on the screen,

It should probably be mounted on an air vent rather than on the windscreen.. that could be illegal in itself as it could obscure vision...

...but more to the point..is not having a touch screen that's a really a problem... it's fiddling with it/watching videos etc, whilst driving, not just using it as a sat nav.

That's why drivers really need to be caught in the act.. just having google maps on or whatever GPS I would say is ok, as you don't need to interact with it.  Scrolling twitter and watching ticktoc videos, is not.

People’s preconceptions are interesting. I doubt you’d get much of a hit pulling modified cars - most are driven by people who pay through the nose for insurance, complain about it a lot on forums, but nonetheless are fully legit and are fastidiously kept that way. Likewise anyone in a GT-R is pretty unlikely to drive anywhere like a loon as they just stand out too much.

I’d start with any disheveled anonymous repmobile that has a hint of being a pool car.

The few traffic cops I’ve met on bikesafe or driver instruction days seem to have an eerie sixth sense for picking out the right people. I’ve been pulled twice in 30 years. Both times I wasn’t doing anything actually wrong, but looking back I’ll admit I looked out of place and they could tell.

I’d start with any disheveled anonymous repmobile that has a hint of being a pool car.

I've been pulled over twice and both times I was driving exactly this type of car. First one was a Mondeo that had definitely seen better days (it was back when I was a poor graduate) and - looking back at it - it was exactly the sort of thing that would have been cheaper to run it uninsured and just pay the fine if I was caught.

It was of course fully legal but the nice policeman gave it and me a thorough inspection.

I was just unfortunate enough to drive it through the middle of some big "crackdown area" along the M6, there were loads of marked and unmarked cars on patrol up a maybe 5-8 mile stretch.

Any one in an suv. Clearly they have no sense or they wouldn’t be driving one. I would start with range rovers and  go from there

Anyone in an estate car, that hasn’t realised the benefit of an SUV over an estate

Anyone smoking, to include vaping, middle lame drivers , anyone doing 40-55mph in a 60

Any car with a green P on it with people embarking on a journey that are looking vaguely like home care helpers from an african nation, if the HMO in the village that has 4 bangers parked at varying angles across the pavement  in the braking bushes , or using the handbrake lamp post the council so handily provided to stop them rolling downhill  generally with panels or windows missing ,I can pretty much guarantee that the people running out the back door and down the snicket are the users , mrs smith the ever so polite 70 year old who takes the lodgers doesnt own any of them, and that none are insured or even have an owner with a license that has been obtained with any level of driving standard other than yes , yes , you showed up, thats a pass.

Anyone in a white Velar.

how would you determine their nationality from outside the vehicle?

I obviously don't know where you live , but in the south east of England it's a constant battle between the council and the travelling community.

Their usual tactics are to gain entry to a field . Start a mini crime wave , fill field with rubbish , get evicted, move to the next town and repeat.

These movements also mirror events like the Wickham horse festival, derby , Goodwood races.

Locally the latest group upped their tactics to doing snatch and grab runs stealing phones and bags from the younger generation.

The police know exactly where they are within hours but allow them transport to be able to leave their patch

Plus the Irish number plate is a giveaway.

All the trades Vans leaving any pub car park about 5.30.

Black rear index plates.

Also, saw a Carnie lorry coming out of Cardiff the other day.

Trailer had a broken number plate and one brake light working. Then it's next trailer had a different number, then the tractor unit (back) different number. I was a passenger and glanced back, and you know what a different index on the front of the tractor unit.

Also, index plates in the window. See the same car/s everyday.

All the ones that give out a smell of weed as they go past....

Any car with an 'Arnold Clark' yellow sticker in the window. It's where people who don't care go an buy their cars. The full bingo is a brightly coloured Nissan Juke, almost invariably the drivers of which look surprised that they've somehow managed to end up on the motorway.

Either that or the BMW M2 - false plates an optional extra; which according to the cops who hard stopped me on the M62 a few years back is "the choice of car for the discerning drug runner"

All the drug dealers by me drive completely nondescript cars, basic ford focus, astras ect. So one of those with a couple of lads in would be a start.

Any car with an ‘Arnold Clark’ yellow sticker in the window. It’s where people who don’t care go an buy their cars.

Or where Derbyshire County Council hire cars from for staff doing long days out

Throwing out the window.

Whichever one that was breaking the law.

that would be all of them then 🙂

Also, saw a Carnie lorry coming out of Cardiff the other day...

"Carnie" = Showman??

They're exempt from pretty much everything, including some ULEZ, so you might get a defective brake light out of it. They're professional and will know the law better than you 🙂

Examples:

Operator's licence: Exempt
Tacho: Exempt
VED: £165 (Special Vehicles Tax class 14 - half the price of a small van)
Goods vehicle test: Exempt

They’re also exempt from rules governing length and articulation of the train. Hence you can have tractor, dolly, articulated trailer with the ride then a caravan which itself might be dolly hauled. I seem to remember that the tractor having a genset bolted to it and not carrying anything else basically excludes it from all rules ever.

Audi’s (especially white ones) – just to see if their indicators do actually work

I’ll have you know my Audi is white and I verified my own indicators worked just the other month.

People’s preconceptions are interesting. I doubt you’d get much of a hit pulling modified cars – most are driven by people who pay through the nose for insurance, complain about it a lot on forums, but nonetheless are fully legit and are fastidiously kept that way. Likewise anyone in a GT-R is pretty unlikely to drive anywhere like a loon as they just stand out too much.

I'd need a whole reem of S59 tickets each shift.  If it pops, bangs or skids it's going in the book.

Ditto any sort of winglets, and tinted headlamps.

mucked about with number plates.
I’ve never understood why they don’t get pulled every 100 yards.

The rules changed a couple of years ago, now IIRC it boils down to the plate material has to be reflective, the font correct and no other colours.

Which means 3D plates are in (as long as they're spaced correctly, and don't have coloured sides/back to the letters) because the letters are treated like a very thick sticker. And metal plates are also fine as long as they start life as a plain yellow plate, then get stamped and the black numbers painted on.   I've got a metal plate on my motorbike as plastic plates on a retro bike just look naff and out of place.  I've not bothered with the actual classic MG though ?

The trend round here is no front plates at all, particularly "M" BMW's.

Saw a prime candidate today.

BMW with a massive race spoiler, heavily blacked out windows, lowered, driven up the back of the car in front, accelerated rapidly (I was in a line of traffic doing 70) when the road was clear, mis-spaced number plate.

But the ultimate crime to have the car crushed was a sticker on the boot "If you like the way I slide, let me pull ya panties aside".

Anyone smoking

I'm surprised it's not been made illegal yet.  You get points on your licence for merely holding a phone, but having one hand occupied with something which is literally on fire is perfectly OK?  At least with a vape you're not going to have a bad day if you accidentally drop it into your lap.  And don't say it doesn't happen because it does, I've owned cars previously owned by smokers which were resplendent with charred bullet holes in the driver's seat.

That sticker sounds awesome. I need to whack one on his car to annoy him ?

Anyone smoking

I’m surprised it’s not been made illegal yet.

I am surprised too.  I used to smoke when young and the combination of youth, smoking and being a driving go didn't always go well.  It is not like smoking is something you have to be able to do whilst driving.

It's surely coming.  When did you last see a car with a cigarette lighter rather than an "accessory socket"?  Or for that matter, ashtrays.

 I need to whack one on his car to annoy him ?

I thought this was a family friendly forum.

how would you determine their nationality from outside the vehicle?

I obviously don’t know where you live , but in the south east of England it’s a constant battle between the council and the travelling community.

But that won't tell you if they are Irish, Romany, or some other ethnicity...

Plus the Irish number plate is a giveaway.

That would be a clue, but we certainly have travellers round here with British plates.  No idea if they are Irish or Romany and despite local social media claiming there will be a crime wave I've not seen much evidence.  They do leave a mess though when moved on... but so do plenty of locals, especially ones who get evicted / don't feel part of the community!

But hey, at least you've not gone all out full on racist like @John Dough: 

that are looking vaguely like home care helpers from an african nation

Thankfully traffic cops have ANPR so they can focus on pulling people who's paperwork isn't right rather than racial profiling.

I drive a BMW . With blacked out windows.

You still doing 3 bags for £100 mate?

All the drug dealers by me drive completely nondescript cars, basic ford focus, astras ect. So one of those with a couple of lads in would be a start.

Yeah and the guys up the chain drove repmobiles back when I knew people in that world (1990s).