Im so bloated if someone stuck a pin in my belly I'd go zipping round the room like one of those noisy balloons :/
Is it self induced? Can I hear the pitter, patter of tiny feet?
No tiny feet but you are the third person to say that to me today! Does everyone know something I don't?! It's more likely a mixture of mother natures finest work heading my way and bulmers crushed red berry cider 😀
new job as whoopee cushion?
Parp
?
I really do need to parp. Be kinda like a whoopy noise too
But ladies don't fart, surely*
(*apart from [i]those[/i] farts, obviously)
What queefs?
has your pole been connected to a compressed air system and its like one of those air hockey games, meaning loads of air is getting forced through the steel into your skin
random I know, just a thought....
queef.... brilliant