MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
Hear my four year old calling me from the bathroom this morning and wander in to discover her pointing at the tiles behind the bath.
Anticipate a spider, but what's caught her eye is a streak of pink shampoo on the wall, evidently not washed away from her mum's shower this morning.
"What's that, daddy?"
"I think it might be ectoplasm"
She's intrigued to know more about ectoplasm, so with a spectacular lack of forward thinking, I explain that, like slugs and snails leave behind a trail of slime, ectoplasm is the trail left behind by ghosts.
Henceforth every trip to the bathroom since has required a chaperone, as there might be ghosts in there.
Hopefully it'll be forgotten about by the morning.
Hopefully it'll be forgotten about by [s]the morning[/s] the time she is 18...
It will not be forgotten.
Never.
Don't worry ,you are not her real dad ,are you ?
Because her real dad ,the dad that loves her more than anything in the world ,he wouldn't get her all scared like that .
😆
Have you told her not to worry about ghosts?
The monsters in the airing cupboard are far scarier
Have you told her not to worry about ghosts?
The monsters [s]in the airing cupboard[/s] under the bed are far scarier
😉
Ha ha excellent!
I used to have a bit of a battle getting my daughter to come out of the bath at bathtime when she was about 2. So I used to pull the plug out and and tell her that if she didn't come out she'd go down the plughole. It worked. By 'eck it worked. For months she was petrified of the plug and plughole. It was about a year later that she finally believed that she couldn't possibly go down the plughole. 😕
Ha ha - I can remember my brother being told the plug hole story. He was convinced he'd only surface at Esholt one day...
Rachel
My 5 yo daughter was bragging to her little brother a few nights ago as her pjs had Elsa and Ana on them and he only had a dinosaur on his. I told her that his dinosaur would eat the Frozen sisters up until they were nothing but chewed flesh and bone and that then they'd just be dinosaur poo. Cue floods of tears and a stern telling off by Mum.
Clearly Elsa would freeze the dinosaur before it even got close.
Proper funny OP, had me giggling.
Keep up the good work.
😆
I love frozen - best threat ever for a 5.5 year old boy is the threat of a frozen party. "if yo carry on hitting your brother you will have a frozen party and have to dress up like a princess".
When I was about 13 I told my cousin (about 7) that she was adopted but she mustn't tell her parents that she knew as they would be upset.
Never thought about it again until we were staying with her family for Christmas week. She was 16 and came to me saying she wanted to find her real parents as she didn't feel complete as a person.
Cue awkward moment for me and a really long week with my uncle and aunt staring at me with a mix of hate and disbelief
I have only two words for you - nae luck.
😀fasthaggis - Member
Don't worry ,you are not her real dad ,are you ?
Because her real dad ,the dad that loves her more than anything in the world ,he wouldn't get her all scared like that .
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When I was about 13 I told my cousin (about 7) that she was adopted but she mustn't tell her parents that she knew as they would be upset.
Never thought about it again until we were staying with her family for Christmas week. She was 16 and came to me saying she wanted to find her real parents as she didn't feel complete as a person.
9 years of her childhood/life thinking her parents weren't her parents...oh my 😯
When i occasionaly misbehaved a lot my mum used to always say "just wait till your dad gets home" (he was a skipper on the fishing boats so he'd only be in perhaps 3 days out of a fortnight so for the rest of the time i would be crapping myself and very well behaved.
When he got back home and i first saw him he'd tell me to go and pack a bag (which i did through my tears) and i was told to go and sit in the car, their trick was to drive me a few miles out of town to the army range where there was a massive derelict house across the hillside (very spooky looking, overgrown and always surrounded by crows) and they'd pull up next to the road barrier and say to me "Go on then, get out and go to the bad boys school, if you behave then you might be allowed to come back home at xmas", by this point i was howling that "I don't want to go to the bad boys school…i promise i'll behave…i'll be good...i promise", they usually caved in at this point and we drove away as i blubber and sobbed in the back but on one occasion that i'd continually stole apples (and broke branches) from a neighbours tree despite many many warnings they drove away and left me or so i thought at the time as they actually only drove round the corner to turn, waited 5 minutes then came back to find me climbing under the barrier and about to walk up to the house.
Parents eh?…...
I told my son that the tones on the ice cream van was an alarm to tell the driver that he'd just run out
Forgot all about it until he started school, ice cream van outside, and he marched up to his mate and told him not to bother queuing because the ice cream's just run out
Had to explain my crime of two years. Don't tell lies to small children, it will come back to haunt you 😀
Lucas. I'll have to remember that frozen party threat. That would go down a treat with my boys.
Told my 3 year old that the gurgle of water going down the plug hole was the bath monster coming. Never seen a toddler move so fast.
WCA. That is one of the worst things I have heard anyone admit. Seriously, straight to hell. Do not pass go.
Ive shown my kids that my jacket is waterproof by spraying water at it
Just found our potty training 2 year old standing on it doing a wee as he couldn't reach the potty in time, my own fault
WCA - I laughed - but that was(is) awful - did she overcome this 'setback' or does it explain 'your life long karma payback' ? 🙂
Kimbers thats proper funny
Yes she got over it.
Yes it gave both sides a chance to talk through all their issues.
Yes she is happily married with children and her parents are fully engaged in being grand parents
Yes, they are talking to me again
Before you judge me, please remember it was just a throw away comment from a 13 year old boy winding up his little cousin
Not proud of it but not losing sleep
My mate Amaa, a second generation British ****stani from Newcastle, for many years when he was at school used to give his next door neighbour, also a second generation British ****stani sausage rolls to eat. I can't remember if it was every Friday, or Tuesday now, but he always gave Fez, a sausage roll, told him his mum gave them to him and he didn't like them.
Fez was a bit of an odd sort, but he was also really into being a Muslim, Amma not so much in those days.
This went on for years, until one day, when Fez came around for tea, possibly the first time ever, and asked Amma's mum if she had any of those sausage rolls that Amma didn't like.
Amma spent at least the next year of school holidays at the local Mosque everyday helping out and being punished for his joke.
I'm wondering if WCA is somafunks dad.....