Properly for the first time since Mrs G passed away. Our first family day trip. Heading down to mountain view ranch near Cardiff while i have the car. 2 friends and their kids asked if they could come too, partly because they haven't been either and partly to help with the kids if i need a bit of time for me at any point.
Mixed feelings though - nervous, anxious, worried, scared if I'm honest. But looking forward to it to. Kids know they are going out, and they are really excited, they just don't know where.
Trying to get everything sorted and already getting emotional. I have to do it, i need to do it. The kids deserve a nice day out and i know i will enjoy being out with them. I just hope i can keep it together for most of the day.
Now I've finished my tea, best carry on getting ready.
Good stuff, Have a great day.
The stars are still there, even when we can't see them.
You're bound to go through a huge range of emotions today. Don't fight them, just be in the moment - if you're happy, allow yourself to be happy, if you're sad then allow that too. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one miinute at a time...
Hope you all have a great day
Emotionally - I'm not cut out to help but like thepurist says don't deflect your emotions
Practically - Suncream, hats, water bottles, sandwiches, cake, picnic rug, small rucksac, cash, sorted
I hope the day goes well for you and the kids
Have as good a day as you possibly can. Thinking of you and your children. Jay
Good on you. You'll be fine. Have a great day.
The stars are still there, even when we can’t see them
nicely put.
As has been pointed out above you will go through a multitude of emotions today but just roll with them, and don't be afraid to share how you feel with the kids. they will be going through their own stuff so to see you share and how you cope wit this will be a great help i'm sure.
One thing i remember from when my brother died was a feeling of guilt that we should not be carrying on with fun things when we should be mourning or remembering him, and that i felt bad that the world continued as though nothing had changed while we were in such grief. but it's days like today that you will realise that you can continue to live and still hold memories close by, there is no shame in making the most of your time and making room for happiness.
Thinking of you all, now go and have a great day!
Good news. That's a big step forward right there.
No much to add other than good on you. You all deserve a nice day out so don't feel guilty, I'm sure it's what your wife would want. But as above, also don't be afraid that today will probably be a bit of a rollercoaster, take things as they come.
Best of luck and enjoy being with your children, make your wife proud (imI sure she already is, you sound like an all round top bloke)
Get outside, run around, play with your kids and watch them giggle.
Enjoy your family.
Thanks for the lovely replies, really appreciate them. I am going to go with the flow, and my 2 friends, who attended the funeral, were Lyanda's best friends. They understand the situation and have told me they are there for me and the kids as well as their own, which helps to ease it a little.
Went to get the freezer block out of the freezer, and the door broke off it's hinges and wiped half the side! Full size 6' freezer, not a small door. Not a good start, hopefully not an omen of the way things will carry on.
Taking 5 mins after clearing everything up, before finishing everything off.
Hope you and the kids have great day. A big step but a really positive one.
Like Bikebouy says, watch them giggle, and it'll all be worth it.
Mate, 3 years ago I was in a similar position to where you are now and my advice would be not to expect a great day, it's going to be hard and probably upsetting doing things without your wife for the first time and probably for some time to come. But you need to keep trying as one day you'll be able to enjoy it for what it is, but the best you might be able to hope for in the meantime is to fake it for the kids sake.
This may sound overly negative and i hope that I'm wrong but I think it's important to say that not springing back into everyday life as soon as possible is perfectly normal. You might feel crap and that is absolutely appropriate. You'll need time to process your emotions and the new circumstances you find yourself in. it's probably the biggest thing you'll ever have to cope with and there's no set time to how long it'll take before you're firstly able to manage and then hopefully enjoy simple pleasures again.
3 years on I still catch myself getting anxious and upset at my partners absence from days out or events, parties, weddings, family lunches, day trips etc are all reminders that she not there to make them more enjoyable and cause me to withdraw rather than participate in the day. It's a situation that gets manageable over time but for me at least it hasn't been a case of being able to pick up where I left off.
[EDIT]
Felt this needed a shorter summary:
Try and enjoy today and I hope you do but just dont beat yourself up if you dont. It's normal.
And look on the bright side, at least your house will be nice and cool by the time you get home thanks to having no freezer door
My kids enjoyed Mountain View Ranch. I thought it was a bit boring - but I’m not the target. 😁 (Mind you, I had a nightmare CX race there a few years ago so maybe that scarred me.)
Oh, and I hope you go on the high ropes. Kids loved that - me not!!
Well we're home.
Very tough, emotional day. But i made it, somehow. Kids all had an amazing time. Loved every minute of it. Nice to see them all (9 in total) running around like idiots, laughing and coming out of there covered in dirt. Just what they needed.
After the freezer incident, which i bent the hinges to wedge the door back in place, i expected the worst from today. I was doing relatively well until we all sat down to have our lunchtime picnic. When, after sorting the kids out their food, i turned to offer some food to Lyanda, without thinking.
I had to walk away. I sat behind a bush and cried. That set the afternoon off at a different tone, for me anyway. My friends were brilliant. They helped with my kids, kept them all entertained and busy. I had quite a few moments after lunch, don't think the kids noticed too much which helped.
Until the end when we all pretty much lost it. One of Lyanda's likes is unicorns. In one part of the forest, they have a statue of an unicorn. That statue with the connection to it, set me and the kids off big time. We hugged each other and sobbed. Luckily it was the end of the day and it was pretty quiet so not many people saw, not that i cared anyway.
It's a shame the car is going at the end of the week. Would have been useful to have it through the holidays. I think we could all do with proper days out, away from this area, to do things to distract us.
Yayy! And Penbre Country park tomorrow. Kids, beach- what's not to like? See you by the anchor at 11. Don't forget the sunblock, it's going to be a scorcher 🙂