[Closed] Hypothetical Cat Question...

It is a cat doing what cats do - killing things - it isn't doing it to spite you.

Have you ever found yourself in an empty room, arguing with yourself John??

At no point did it ever cross my mind that the cats are "picking on me" by killing birds in my garden. It's the fault of the irresponsible owners who turn them out all day to kill with wanton abandon.

I know my comment about the marker pen was facetious, but I'm really beginning to warm to the idea. Something along the lines of "Keep this cat under control. Next time it gets the bullet".

If it was in my 1 acre garden I think I'd be happy for them to roam free.

Wow, do you have a 1 acre garden too?? Who'd have thunk I could have so much in common with such a buffoon!

I reckon you should work at keeping the birds away.

They'll all find suitable habitats elsewhere where there may be less cats about.

Maybe put some signs up to warn them?

[img] [/img]

Orange peel scattered about should dissuade them. If that doesn't work, a friend of mine had good results with (seriously) lion dung. You can buy it on the Internet, it seems.

cheers cougar. will try the peel trick.
Although I'm quite taken with the idea of a dung arms race, can't really gamble on the lion dung with the wife. Despite being a cat owner for 20 years, she's just developed a big cat allergy with pregnancy, and that includes big cats (and hyenas too).

Who'd have thunk I could have so much in common with such a buffoon!

Sometimes, they just write themselves, don't they.

she's just developed a big cat allergy with pregnancy, and that includes the big cats

How the gods did you find that out? Most people's allergy to lions is a brief manifestation of copious bleeding followed by death.

Cougar, I'd be careful with a name like that... I'm non-discriminatory when it comes to species of feline...

Unless you're the attractive older woman type of Cougar, in which case you'll need sticks after experiencing my wood 😉

Two out of three.

Cougar - Member
Two out of three.

Didn't know you were an old woman.

😉

Wouldn't be the first time I've been called one, to be fair.

Just being downwind from them at the zoo brought on the streaming eyes, coughing and breathing probs for about twelve hours. Exactly the same symptons as brought on by her sister's kitten. Doc reckons it's fairly common and there's a good chance she'll be ok after popping the sprog 🙂

Didn't know you were an old woman.

Beat me to it! 😀

But I'm not happy about some middle-aged divorced woman letting her cute little predator free all day to [b]decimate my woodland[/b]

Seriously ?

A few cats are [i]actually[/i] decimating a whole Acre of woodland.

(I think you may be over doing things a bit there to try and make a point ?)

But I'm not happy about some [b]middle-aged divorced woman[/b] letting her cute little predator free all day to decimate my woodland

Would it be better if she was younger or older? Single or married? Male?

If you know exactly whose cat it is, have you trying TALKING to her? Asking her to put bells on the cat's collar, or to cat-proof her garden (so it can still go outside but its limited to its own territory)?

"cat-proof her garden"

you dont have a cat, do you?

What tipped you off?

Would it be better if she was younger or older? Single or married? Male?

It was a sweeping generalisation based on my prejudicial and ignorant assumption that the majority of cats are owned by sad, lonely middle-aged divorced women who need the company of a dumb animal to warm their feet whilst they read 50 Shades of Bollox. They then turf them out of their miniscule maisonettes every morning before driving their Ford Ka to their primary school teaching jobs. Fact.

"cat-proof her garden"

you dont have a cat, do you?

Nope, I have a colleague who has a nice Maine Coon called Mr Fiji though. Mr Fiji and his family were particularly proficient at bringing in prey, so his owner made adjustments to his garden to limit his range. The high fencing tilts inwards towards the top, and as of yet, Mr Fiji has not managed to escape his prison.

Mr Fiji might just be a bit dim though.

It was a sweeping generalisation based on my prejudicial and ignorant assumption that the majority of cats are owned by sad, lonely middle-aged divorced women who need the company of a dumb animal to warm their feet whilst they read 50 Shades of Bollox. They then turf them out of their miniscule maisonettes every morning before driving their Ford Ka to their primary school teaching jobs. Fact.

Fair enough! 😆

We can hardly expect the Bridgette Joneses to modify their fences if they can't even be arsed to keep an eye on where their boyfriend substitutes are during the day...
They're too busy sobbing into their Chablis and filling in their menopause countdown diaries....

Long term cat owner here.

Sad? Not especially.
Lonely? Nope, not remotely.
Middle aged? Yup, got me there.
Divorced? Nope, happily married.
Woman? No, hairy-arsed bloke.

One out of five - well done 😉

Our two moggies (Maine Coon crosses) are ace, they never kill anything because they are, frankly, not bright enough. No idea where they cr*p, it's not in my garden though so don't worry too much about it 😀

But I'm not happy about some middle-aged divorced woman letting her cute little predator free all day to decimate my woodland

Divorced woman + cat = frustrated lady. Go round and deliver some well timed innuendos about her pussy. It wont stop the cats killing birds but wil take your mind off things for a bit.

For the love of god, what happened to this thread!?

W...T...F???

Shib, seriously - what is going on here?

I leave my computer alone for a few hours and come back to this insantity. Are you SERIOUSLY still considering killing tiddles?

Straight facts: You like nature & go to some lengths to encourage it. Key to this though is you are messing with the natural balance as we are in 2012, well intended and no doubt prductive, but you're messing nevertheless...and if you want to strip back the definition of messing with nature, you live in a house, that's disruptive for the trees & habitat that was once there, no?

Cats are nature in the hands of humans, therefore they've got a bit of a disadvantage already, but they are animals FFS. Go and row with the neighbour to the point that is is productive, protect your own little garden/Forest of Dean and as I mentioned earlier, MTFU.

It's a cat. Water, sprinkler etcs. Get some balance on what you can do to help and what you can't manage.

Or really mess with nature and get a gun and shoot somehing, after all that's proved to be nothing but effective at resolving issues.

If I caught anyone harming my cat, anyone else's cat or any other animal I would make sure they had broken bones when we parted company.

Humane trap and return feline to neighbour warn that it will be handed in to RSPCA After the next return.

Of course, the best way to stop other people's cats coming into your garden is to get your own cat....

Shibboleth you must know the local legend that is Bill Seed surely?

Humane trap and return feline to neighbour warn that it will be handed in to RSPCA After the next return.

Trapping domestic cats is an offence too.

It was a sweeping generalisation based on my prejudicial and ignorant assumption that the majority of cats are owned by sad, lonely middle-aged divorced women

I own a cat, and do not fit your sweeping generalized description

I just like they way they butcher small creatures

Have we had any Caticide yet?

BenjiM - Member
Shibboleth you must know the local legend that is Bill Seed surely?

This chirpy looking fella?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/3155180.stm

We are all agreed that cats are a nuisance . It seems that cat owners expect the victims of cat behaviour to have to pay to prevent the cats doings.
This is totally wrong. If any other animal were let loose and allowed to roam the neighbourhood fouling where it pleased concerns would soon be raised. The fact that its a cat is irrelevant . There is no place for cats in modern society.
I have to pick cat poo out of my salad bed. This is my food, it's what I eat but apparently it's fine because its a cat. I have had to clean cat poo out of my car, aah lovely tiddles. I have to wash sloppy shit off of my front step as next door seem to feed their shit machine on some weird muck.
If a cat comes in my garden or house I will deal with it as I please.

Woo! Awesome.

My cat uses a litter tray, as do many.

Cats seem to evoke about the same reaction as cyclists.

This place is made up of 10% interesting normal people and 90% brain dead f-wits.

Dribble out.

It was a sweeping generalisation based on my prejudicial and ignorant assumption that the majority of cats are owned by sad, lonely middle-aged divorced women who need the company of a dumb animal to warm their feet whilst they read 50 Shades of Bollox. They then turf them out of their miniscule maisonettes every morning before driving their Ford Ka to their primary school teaching jobs. Fact.

I cannot believe your spectacularly supreme cockness.

yodagoat - Member
If I caught anyone harming my cat, anyone else's cat or any other animal I would make sure they had broken bones when we parted company.

🙄

Does there always have to be one keyboard-warrior wannebe super-hero...

Getagrip cat-boy...miioaaowwww

What a repulsive thread.

Just what we've come to expect of the OP, but why do so many people give him the attention he was obviously denied as a child?

Oh, hang on.....

I'd missed the OP 'personality' before, bless him. Perhaps he's got what he needs now and won't kill a cat to achieve it.

Does there always have to be one keyboard-warrior wannebe super-hero...

Getagrip cat-boy...miioaaowwww

Oh I don't know, I think that if somebody tried to shoot one of my pets I would definitely do something permanent and very messy to them.

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Why don't you just throw it in the bin like any normal person?

Ok Patriotpro, what would you do if you came across a thick **** being cruel to an animal? Probably moan about it on here. ****ing soft ****.