[Closed] How to talk to women pt2

Oh boy, you just opened up the trouble box....

This is a bit tongue in cheek (again, excuse the pun)

Tongue in cheek - you kinky bastard.

It might help if you stop using puns all the time and then drawing attention to the fact that you just used a pun. 😆

I always imagine they're another bloke.

Then chat away as badly/ineptly as I would if it was another chap.

It's not a great technique but I generally avoid causing any offence 🙄

Are you as nervous speaking to 'power' men?

Just perhaps treat them as an equal, somebody to show intrest in, someone who has obviously worked hard to get into the position they now have,ask them about their job, and career and lots more.

Listen to what they say, and remember theyre just like a man without any testicles.

Ps best not to mention charity giving and facebook.

Just perhaps treat them as an equal

Good lord! 😉

Just remember that they have needs, both emotional and physical.

seavers - Member
Are you as nervous speaking to 'power' men?

Actually yes. Despite being a 20 year career professional I am told that I am naive to my own standing in the business - and this manifests itself in not knowing what to say / how it would be received by my seniors when I'm outsider comfort zone.

Ridiculous thread that only goes to show how sexist you are without even realising it!!

Go to gay (not the happy kind) classes, and speak with a lisp. Thus rendering yourself impervious to said female/s

Sorry...I don't mean to offend but your original post...about women is sexist.

Eh?

Is the problem that you frequently use puns/ veiled euphemisms when in conversation with women?

Why is it sexist? The fact that I'm less confident talking to a woman is sexists how? It's just a fact!

The fact that I'm less confident talking to a woman is sexists how?

That's not what you implied. It wasn't just women, but confident women with 'power' that you claim you have a problem with.

That's right, women perceived to be higher ranked / more expert / more successful than i - in fact anyway you wish to describe it.

Am I now being told we can't hold a higher respect for someone becuase they are female? Surely that implication is more sexist than you are claiming I'm being.

Surely that implication is more sexist than you are claiming I'm being.

I haven't claimed that you're sexist. Although I find the fact that you presumably have no problem with weak women who lack confidence rather bizarre.

higher respect

so need some advice about socialising after work with power women without coming across (excuse the pun) that I'm only interested in thier chest/arse/etc

I don't know man...seems like this is getting way too messy.

I'm just giving you my thoughts...you asked for em!

 

Grow a pair. What a ridiculous thread.

I did mention it was a tad tongue in cheek.

Nevermind then.

Biscuits..tea..anyone?

Tea anyone ?

Damn beaten to it lol

The one real high-flyer I remember enjoyed chatter about ordinary things, well away from her high pressure work-related stuff. She'd had enough of that by the end of her working day. Oh, and getting her to laugh seemed to help.

Have you tried standing really tall—so that your knuckles lift off the ground—and imagining you're talking to Richard Branson?
🙂

Why not just chat about the usual stuff going on in peoples lives, work, family, holidays, cycling etc works with all the power women I've chatted too (Mrs K is a Director in the city so I get dragged to things occasionally, I wield no power whatsoever)

If they talk directly to your testes say loudly "Excuse me, I'm up here" whilst pointing at your face.

so need some advice about socialising after work with power women without coming across (excuse the pun) that I'm only interested in thier chest/arse/etc when left on my own to be "entertaining" with such a lady.

So if the woman is a lowly minion then you crack on with staring at her arse and tits?

Ha ha ha you boys make me laugh - this thread makes me think of a robert winston type program when they were looking at differences between male and female behaviours.

In a nut shell we both check out the opposite sex but women are more discreet (manage to keep our tounges in our mouths perhaps!?) .

The real issue is you confidence - learn the art of small talk, im sure there's enough basic networking tips out there online. We are all human you just chat till you find common ground to discuss

But maybe i shouldnt comment as I might not be a power woman - I can get up big hills does that count? 😀

just remember that they have the HR number on quick dial on their phone...

Girls are like boys but they don't like talking about as much cool stuff. 😉

Honestly, don't focus on the fact you're entertaining. Just talk about normal stuff you're interested in. If they don't seem interested then change the subject, find out what they're interested in, be interested.

I really like finding out about business people. Some of them are as dull as anything once you get behind the facade. All they have in their lives is work. Sadly these are the most difficult ones to talk to. The more interesting people will let something go about their personal lives and then you've got something to discuss.

"Oh, you like searing the nipples off badgers? Awesome, tell me all about it", then you pretend to look interested while they waffle on. It's just like being married.

Maybe talk about your children? I don't get this post at all.

Grab her norks and say "honk honk", then get it out on the table.

Failing that, just maintain eye contact and talk normally???! If she bores you; glaze over and make excuses. If she's entertaining, just enjoy the chat.

I may not understand the OP though; I am a bit confused by it....really, not in a smart-arse manner, I am genuinely confused by the scenario.

Chatting to very attractuve ladies can be challenging; makes you go a bit tetchy. However, a man or woman's position in X company has never made a difference to me.

I could be odd though.

The easiest solution would be to get older, that way you realise that worrying about others will get you nowhere in life so you just get on with your own, then you start to take notice of this

Enjoy 😉

Ask them how many men she slept with to get to the top 😉

Hobnob

Confident women require confident handling, so i suggest you act like this at all times around them:

[img] [/img]

😉

Lord Flashheart is the answer to everything.

Woof!

You could always ask him directly for advice http://singletrackworld.com/members/captainflashheart/profile/

[img] [/img]

For whatever reason I've always got on better with mates' mums than their dads and business women than men. No idea why. I think I feel more relaxed around them, and end up being kind of pally and cheeky yet respectful. I'm also a good listener - I wasn't until I began coaching - and women love the opportunity (and space) to express themselves without being interrupted or talked at/over all the time.

women love the opportunity (and space) to express themselves without being interrupted or talked at/over all the time.

This. So many people unwittingly do this. Some bosses think you exist only to listen to their brain dumps. People like listeners.

When talking to anyone new, the knack is to quickly find common ground. There are often visual clues to their interests. Or get some background info from other people they know. Ask people to explain things as it gives them the chance to shine and feel listened to.

When talking to men, I ask them what they think; with women, how they feel. But not everyone conforms to the gender stereotypes so play it by ear! I prefer to be asked how I feel, for example. But I'm quite feminine for a bloke.

I'd start with "did you see the bake off"

Surely this is quite easy?
People (particularly women) love talking about themselves, so just let them.
Ask loads of questions, life, hobbies, work history, whatever.
Treat it as a test to find out as much about them whilst not revealing anything about yourself which you're not specifically asked for.
Smile a lot, open body language, nod etc.

Works in bars too 😀

Ohhh I Luv a Kryton thread.

Makes me feel kinda "normal"

If you find Demonstrative Women an issue to make simple conversation then it clearly means you have a fetish for that kind of thing and you should go forth and experiment a little.

Failing that, Women are irrelevant in a Business context, Gender is no longer acceptable as either a benefit nor excuse, it's what's underneath that counts. Can they detach themselves from being Women, most certainly they can.

Simple Professionalism.

And Respect.

Don't talk, just pretend to listen.

it's what's underneath that counts.

Boobs? Helping him undress her in his head isn't going to help 😆

Listen if you are interested.
Be confident in what you say but only say what you mean.
Only flatter if it is sincere.
Don't be afraid to decide you don't like someone. It isn't all about them liking you.

This applies to dealings with men and women. Good luck.

This post is extremely sexist OP. Women are equal to men in every way, except for the rationality, accountability and reason aspects. You sexist.

without coming across (excuse the pun) that I'm only interested in thier chest/arse/etc

I suggest you don't look at them then.
Or wear mirrored sunglasses, so they can't tell.

bikebouy - Member
Ohhh I Luv a Kryton thread.

I have a reputation?

Torminalis - Member
[b]Don't be afraid to decide you don't like someone. It isn't all about them liking you.[/b]

Thats useful, I do have an issue with "wanting to be liked" and I think that affects the way I talk to people...

I have a reputation?

....

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/whatever-happened-to-mastiles_fanylion#post-5220149

randomjeremy - Member
This post is extremely sexist OP. Women are equal to men in every way, except for the rationality, accountability and reason aspects. You sexist.

I get the sarcasm but the majority of that statement is bullshit. Women and men will always have these issues becuase thats how we are biologically programmed to be. Obviosly I'm affected in a away which is not ideal in a business environment and need to modify my own behavior pr psychology to cope.

Imagine stating that the feeling of "I'm attracted to women" is sexist becuase I'd used the term "women"; its not, its natural. To suggest you change the statement to not refer to the target audience as "women" but something more generic is just hiding the truth under a banner of politically overstated pseudo social acceptance.

Nursey I Like 'em Firm And Fruity!

woooof!

Anyway, I've thought about this a bit more. Is the specific "business" conversation I'm uncomfortable with - I'm entering into a sphere of work relationships which include business politics and strategy, that I'm finding hard to express or talk in an educated manner on par with my peers and superiors. AND for some reason I find it more difficult in a social situations AND even more difficult if my co-conversationalist is female.

That probably makes things worse, and someone will be around to burn my house down shortly...

Er maybe what you need is a career change--do they still have lighthouse keepers?

Do you have a significant other?

Kryton, yes, yes you do have a reputation. Don't tarnish it by being like one of us, ok? 😆

Yep.

I'm not communicating this very well. I could talk all day to anyone, male, female, more or less knowledge than I about subjects I'm comfotable with - I have confidence issues.

But its the [i]business politics and strategy [/i]type conversations I have issues with. Perhaps I just need to gain more experience.

bikebouy - Member
Kryton, yes, yes you do have a reputation. Don't tarnish it by being like one of us, ok?

[img] https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRSruiOslSQ-NVYoJCo-KT_e-Yf3Mtwwz6mKoWzfkXcZfLtyjOK1g [/img]

I must admit, I'd feel a little like the op in those situations, mostly due to a little shyness

I usually get a bit nervous around strangers, I doesn't stop me talking to people, just takes me some time to relax, and I usually feel it more when its women

I am sure Freud would have a field day telling me why

Okay...

When asked a complex question, don't answer immediately. This can be played out in all sorts of good ways. If you genuinely don't think you can give a satisfactory answer, say so. Let them know you want to think about it. This will ensure that when you speak, people will listen as they presume you give as much consideration to everything that comes out of your mouth.

If you do know the answer, pause and look thoughtful, you will be amazed how long people will sit and wait for you to respond. Again, it lets people know that you consider very carefully what you say.

You say they think you are naive to your credibility which means you are obviously good at what you do, play to this. You clearly over think things. Turn this to your advantage, let everyone know that your epic mind is working on their problem and they will love you when you do the business.

As for small talk, **** it, just listen to them blather on about their kids, blather back a bit and then get down to business.

Kryton57

But its the business politics and strategy type conversations I have issues with. Perhaps I just need to gain more experience.

Ah, simple! Just "Google it" (other search engines are available). That way, with just 3mins reading you too can become an "Expert" in literally any subject! Short cut the normal 25 years of experience and on-the-job learning, and just spout some bull from a wiki page as required. Make sure you use the word "Fact" a lot even though you have absolutely no basis for your standpoint. If someone argues with you in one of your meetings, just call them a troll.

Torminalis - thats very helpful, thanks. Now that I think about it, I'm very talkative by nature and would have a tendency to talk quickly in such a situation.

You clearly over think things

I pride myself in talking to everyone, regardless of the pigeon hole that they sit in, about bikes. Everyone loves bikes.

I like to talk to women as if I am the sexiest thing on planet earth.

Sometimes they start to belive the lie themselves, this leads to awkwardness at work social occasions.

Turn this to your advantage, let everyone know that your epic mind is working on their problem and [b]they will love you when you do the business.[/b]

As for small talk, **** it, just listen to them blather on about their kids, blather back a bit and [b]then get down to business.[/b]

Well done I think you got away with it 😉

Ohhh I Luv a Kryton thread.

Makes me feel kinda "normal"

THIS.

So many people commenting seem to have seized on the term 'Power Women' and gone off on a righteous sexism tangent, completely missing the OP's point. As the OP suggests - Power Women / Power Men, makes no difference. Confidence in conversing with alpha-persons is the issue, made worse by the fact that talking to females can be an even more difficult thing, especially when you like them, which I can relate to.

Though quite why the OP is into this sort of alpha-female person, I don't know. It would appear they probably wouldn't suit him, if so difficult to approach in the first place. 😉

When talking to anyone new, the knack is to quickly find common ground.

This would be easy if one were vaguely normal.

I live on my own in a house with a family of 10 bikes. My career consists of looking at plants in the Arctic and processing data. Not too sure with whom I'd have common ground (female or male). Hence, I can relate to this. 🙂