[Closed] How to survive corporate life?

Not all of them are like that. Find a better one.

You're a contractor, go do your job and that's it. Don't involve yourself in the games and BS. You aren't looking for promotion but worth looking around internally to see what else you can pick up, work wise.

I've been contracting for 10 years. Some company's are massive but awesome, some aren't. However, you're still getting paid so any obsticals just raise with your manager.

Stop caring. Seriously, just do what you're paid to and be completely disengaged by the whole thing. Asked to do something stupid? Just do it. The shrug is a really great stress relief tool.

What's worth doing is worth doing for money. If you need a friend, get a dog.

marijuana & cycling.

Deploy the sit-down piss

Deploy the sit-down piss

Preferably at your desk.

Then work out how much you've earned while pissing.

I survive by creating micro-cultures. One for my team - where I can establish a positive environment for my team where looking after the dignity of others and maintaining a high degree of personal and professional integrity are non-negotiable. I then identify others who are are also willing to work in this way in the organisation and this means I can work with like-minded people to get the job done.

Having worked for 2 big companies there is no way i would ever go back, in fact every few years i have a dream, well nightmare really, i am back there. I miss the banter, salary and benefits and the first one had a brilliant coffee machine.

Some people are suited to it.

I'm with wrecker I have to say. Unless you want to stay on past six months just shrug and get on with it. No point in getting bogged down in things that have probably been like that forever.

Christmas party soon nudge nudge wink wink

The monthly one to ones get me. Please document what you've done in your mundane job and place your witterings into each of the 6 boxes boxes that correspond to the 6 values of the company. Just Bullshit.

Do you job to your best ability

Work hard

Smile

Be considerate to others

Err, that's it

I live with somebody who works for a mega corp and have had the opportunity to meet his colleagues. It's obvious that a certain [i]type[/i] of person works for that company. Boorish middle managers bickering about the minor differences between BMW, Audi and Mercedes. Other subjects include which brand of pen they have, how many suits they own and which airline provides the best lounges and in-flight Business Class perks. I think that the constant competition is what fundamentally irritates me.

I avoid talking about cars, pens, [i]the rugger[/i] or holiday destinations.

I've found this to be helpful. http://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

smile, nod and think of the money

and / or play bullshit bingo

http://www.bullshitbingo.net/cards/bullshit/

How do you define megacorp?
My company is nearly 100000 employees and about 24 billion in revenue.

I actually like working there, and i only ever wear a suit for an audit, yeah it systems can be a pain in the arse but the people make up for it

@wrecker has the right idea. Be nice, do the social things and ride it out. You may actually meet people you like.

Haha . Hansrey so true

Blew my colleagues minds at mega corp when I had no interest In golf clubs , fancy new cars and the football.

Then there was the building of a car , the welding , the rebuilding of the house instead of buying a ready to move in 5 bedroom house 40miles from work so they can justify their fast car. Etc etc

I just follow wreckers approach with slight deviation if the management decisions will impact on my service delivery

I work for a mega Corp and yes there are some clowns in there, but there are an equal number of cool people in there who the jobs just happen to suit. Not tarring everyone with the same brush maybe a good start.

Asked to do something stupid? Just do it. The shrug is a really great stress relief tool.

That.

I get paid to colour in, with highlighters...

To do permits, weekly, for the job I'm on, seriously, it takes me a day and a half. I do it because it's what they want me to do. The permits are usually the same as last week's and the week before but I still need to colour in new ones.

If I was employed by them I'd probably kick up a fuss but as I'm freelance, I love it. My nursery school teachers would be proud of me.

You teach geog luke?

I'm a freelance engineer on with a major civil engineering company on a £200m project.

^This.

Except it's sometimes hard to smile when you're at the bottom of the heap.

Boorish middle managers bickering about the minor differences between BMW, Audi and Mercedes. Other subjects include which brand of pen they have, how many suits they own and which airline provides the best lounges and in-flight Business Class perks

Hang on, we've had threads on all these within recent memory 😆

It seems to be because people just do whatever they are told and not challenge bullshit.

Not tarring everyone with the same brush maybe a good start.

This.

I've worked for a bigger mega-corp than you :-). And it's full of lots of different sorts of people. Just like .... err ..... real life.

One good thing about working in these large organisations is that there are plenty of places to hide. Get the right role, avoid the careerism and the muppets, keep your head down and you can skive away for years. Bliss.

I went to work for a very large company right out of Uni, and it was just like that. I coped in various ways. I went on lots of training courses. I spent ages getting Doom to run on a mainframe. I went to a festival and got my ear pierced. Then I quit after 8 months 😉

Boorish middle managers bickering about the minor differences between BMW, Audi and Mercedes. Other subjects include which brand of pen they have, how many suits they own and which airline provides the best lounges and in-flight Business Class perks

I hate it, I do less work in a week than I used to do in a day and know one batts an eye.

Boorish middle managers bickering about the minor differences between BMW, Audi and Mercedes. Other subjects include which brand of pen they have, how many suits they own

m a freelance engineer on with a major civil engineering company on a £200m project.

Think about the money, if it's not enough ask for more or quit. Do your job and don't take it all too seriously, be glad it's not your life

Boorish middle managers bickering about the minor differences between BMW, Audi and Mercedes. Other subjects include which brand of pen they have, how many suits they own and which airline provides the best lounges and in-flight Business Class perks.

I find that listening to Huey Lewis helps..........
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Avoid the moaners and the whingers who have been there for years, get on with your job and go with the flow. Most things happen for a reason so just get on with your job.

Buy an Aeropress for work and earn the respect of your peers.

I get to do science and experiment on humans. And it keeps the Wolf from the door. I try and ignore the politics.

Strong culture at my place of work, particularly here in the UK. 1.5m employees globally. Some truly exceptional teams and great people. Shockingly [i]behind the times[/i] IT infrastructure for most front-end (and indeed many back-end) applications though. Very risk averse.

You'll survive if you remember two things, everyone is your enemy and what side you take depends on who you are talking to.

Take a leaf from Frank Underwoods character.

I survive by creating micro-cultures

Hnggggggggg....

*loads shotgun*

jamj is right, the key is just to make sure your group is working well and forget the rest. Of course it's likely to collapse around your ears when you get reshuffled but that's a future worry.

If you are finding the corporate BS too much as someone at the "working level" then I highly recommend you avoid becoming a line manager. At a big company it comes with another layer of BS and tedious processes.

Building a team is actually fun and rewarding. Leading them is also mostly rewarding if the team is doing something interesting.

But getting to the end of the year and subjecting them to a demoralising performance review process that you have no real input into because everyone has been adjusted to fit into the 'bell curve', and having to dig up petty negative feedback to justify a pitiful payrise and average 'grade' to someone who's doing a perfectly good job, and you can't really fault. And is actually your friend too.

That's not fun.

jamj has the same idea as me, and you can just about keep yourself sane the rest of the year by doing that, but at review time you've got to put yourself face down in the trough of BS and stay there until Christmas

Thank God that's not my job anymore, and they'd be happening right now too 😀

You could try working at a charity.
You spend a significant portion of your waking hours at work, going to work or thinking about work.
Trying to choke it down by saying it's just work, it's not my life is kinda blinkered.

Third sector has its own issues, but in general you have the knowledge you're working towards something positive not that you make the company x times as much as they pay you

Best advice I ever got, from a guy that I wanted to throttle:

"Remember, it's all just a game"

I only need to do six months (contractor), but at the moment six weeks feels daunting.

Smile and invoice.

You could try working at a charity.

You could, but dont think that mean less BS, politics and high AQs - at least not necessarily

Third sector has its own issues, but in general you have the knowledge you're working towards something positive not that you make the company x times as much as they pay you

I do love these threads sometimes as it really does pick out some of the "doesn't play well with others" 😉