long time member, temp ID to avoid hassle on other threads..
Does anyone have tips or techniques to avoid being such a tightwad? I really struggle with this. I'm fortunate enough to have a decent job, but I'm seemingly hampered in spending my cash, on anything. At the moment I seem destined to eventually die with buckets of cash, and that seems pointless. Some details, and trying not to brag (hense the change in username), just setting context..
I'm 40, earn enough that pension allowance tapering is starting to be an issue. Live in a house in the south east thats fully paid off, and probably worth approx a million. Don't have a huge amount in the way of savings accounts right now per se, but £400k in a pension pot that will be maxed out by the time I retire at 57 (just after the youngest has gone to uni). We've got 2 young kids, and whilst I don't have money aside for university/house deposits for them yet, I've at least a decade to sort that out and will have it well covered by the time that arises. Each month I'd estimate my take-home exceeds our costs by maybe £5k
tl:dr, I have huge amounts of disposable income and nothing that I really need to hold it back for.
now onto the tightness. Mountain biking is my passion. I treated myself to a new trail bike last year, at a cost of £2100. our family car cost £4000. I'll compromise on holidays, getting the kids up at 4am so we can get that flight that saves us £100 all in, and only packing hand luggage (!) for a week away with the family of 4, so I'm not paying £60 for a bag. Our nearest supermarket is a waitrose, but I shop at lidl, and normally buy stuff that's reduced due to sell by date. I love a bargin, which is fine, but I seem incapable of buying stuff that isn't a deal. Which sucks. We spent a lot on our house, but thats "OK" because I get that money back, so it feels more invested than spent.
I was wondering if anyone else struggled with this? I'm not asking what to spend my money on (I'm sure there'll be some personal attacks in here) just how to get around the mindset of it being a "waste" not to get the absolute cheapest solution to some problem. I'm certain that this attitude has come down from my parents, and in the past (when I was in my 20s) it was really useful, but now.. not so much.
I'm not sure that what you're describing is inherently a problem unless it actively detracts from you and your family enjoying your lives. Do you think that spending more money in certain areas will make you happier?
FWIW I'm the tightwad in my family. While having nowhere near as much money as you, I also seek out bargains, reduce expenditure etc. I guess the question is; are you wasting time and energy in doing so? If so, consider what that means in the long term. Better being time rich than cash rich I reckon. Can you reduce hours, retire?
You don't have to spend money just for the sake of it. A few luxuries are nice, but most stuff doesn't justify the price tag IMO.
I'm not sure you're a tight wad, just frugal.
Give some to charity and feel good about yourself. reduce hours at work and voluteer maybe.
Quit your job now and go ride your (sensibly priced) bike every day.
That'll stop you worrying about being too tight.
I could just do with about 20k, am happy to lighten to your burden
Hell no. You could just live with me for a while, that worked for my wife. She was very careful with money until my profligacy rubbed off on her, then we spent a decade or more being completely stuffed financially.
Ask yourself - what is money for? Why is having something you want a 'waste'? If you need a new bike then why not buy a decent one, if you ride it? All the things you could buy are created for a purpose. If you use them for that purpose, then it's not wasted. Buying stuff to make yourself feel better, or because of some undefinable sense of want isn't a good thing, but buying something (e.g. a decent bike) to be used and be productive in your life isn't.
A few luxuries are nice, but most stuff doesn’t justify the price tag IMO.
Agreed, but there's a balance to be struck, hence the old adage "buy cheap, buy twice", and I can be guilty of that - I've probably wasted a decent amount of money (and time) trying to save money.
Seriously though, think about the quality of the stuff you buy and where its sourced from
Each month I’d estimate my take-home exceeds our costs by maybe £5k
You are in a great position but not one where you will find much sympathy. Well considered and meaningful charity giving might be you answer here. Giving can be cash or time, both very valuable.
Don’t have a huge amount in the way of savings accounts right now per se
If you have £5k left over each month then I don't think you need to be concerned about lack of savings for long!
LOL - most wealthy people are tight-wads!
It's only the "me, me, me" types on Insta that are spunking money away in Dubai.
🙂
You don't have a problem, you think you have a problem because the world is full of people with a problem. Your problem is that you aren't like them and you think you should be like them.
Also don't think about money as something to exchange for goods but as freedom tokens
Is your place of work hiring?
How can you have £5K left at the end of every month and no savings? Where does the £5K go???
long time member, temp ID to avoid hassle on other threads..
We're all now guessing, right?
Seriously though, think about the quality of the stuff you buy and where its sourced from
Is a good point. Even if you don't want to spend it on yourself you now have the option of being much more selecting about who you give your money to. If you have investments you can choose ethical ones for example that don't return as much, that sort of thing.
LOL – most wealthy people are tight-wads!
And that. Whenever I look at how much money I let dribble through my fingers it's frightening.
Has no one mentioned C&Hs yet?
STW Standards are slipping.....
Nothing wrong with shopping at Lidl, they do good-quality food and drinks.
Nothing wrong with driving an affordable car, I did the same when I was (briefly) pulling in that kind of dollar.
But are you a tightwad when it comes to getting your round in (and that kind of thing)?
But more seriously, definitely look at the cost/time trade off. You are driving further to a cheaper supermarket and scouring for bargains, yet your disposable/extra income is £160 a day.
Unlike some/most rich people who are either dead boring money counters, or got rich by working every waking hour, you seem to have time for a family; holidays; and a time consuming bike hobby. As well as being allegedly a regular poster on here with your regular log in.
Agreed, but there’s a balance to be struck, hence the old adage “buy cheap, buy twice”, and I can be guilty of that – I’ve probably wasted a decent amount of money (and time) trying to save money.
Oh yeah, I agree. I've bought some cheap shit in my time! But I just don't think I'd notice the difference between my mid priced bikes and 10k super bikes.
Same with cars and the like, Holidays on the other hand I would happily throw money at, seeing new things and experiencing different cultures is priceless. Well, as long as I can affrod it any way.....
If I had that money there would be no way I would still be working.
Don't stop being tight. Just quit your job
How can you have £5K left at the end of every month and no savings? Where does the £5K go???
A mortgage free million pound house maybe.
One day you'll die, never to come again. Your limited time alive will be over and you missed out.
and you missed out.
To be fair you won't miss much when you're dead.....
You should have, in your position, enough money to not have a significant drop in living standards for 6-12 months in case of disaster (loss of job, early onset of something nasty that sort of thing), so get building that savings pot.
Then, ask yourself what your time is worth, or even work out what your hourly rate is at work. If it will cost me more in my time than it costs to get somebody else to do it the somebody else gets paid.
Same with holidays in your example - I'd rather spend £100 on hold baggage and have the stuff I want with me on holiday (I scuba dive, and I like my own kit) than not enjoy my precious time off as much.
Put some more of your money in the economy, it needs it!
How can you have £5K left at the end of every month and no savings? Where does the £5K go???
Paid off million quid house at 40 probably.
I'm going to guess he's spent the last decade plus responsibly overpaying a mortgage. Now thats done he's a bit of a loose end.
I may be calling troll actually. Who would come on and brag of 5k disposable income a month when we are in a cost of living crisis
We’re all now guessing, right?
And I reckon the OP is responding to this thread with their own account, to throw us off the scent.
Is it you?
It’d take me about 6 months to earn what you have left at the end of every month
thanks for the responses so far. Thought provoking. I'll try to answer as many qs as possible, then got to get back to work, I'll return later on 🙂
Do you think that spending more money in certain areas will make you happier?
In some cases, maybe. Especially the family will be happier - for example, my wife loves a takeaway as a treat, but I see a takeaway as a waste of money, so we maybe get 4 a year. Treating her more often would seem like an easy win, but I'm retissant (sp) to do so
Can you reduce hours, retire?
I can't reduce in the line of work I do. I'm planning to retire early, but don't see a huge point in doing so before the kids are at uni, as I couldn't nip off to another part of the world
Give some to charity and feel good about yourself. reduce hours at work and voluteer maybe.
there's a couple of comments along these lines.. giving money to charity doesn't make me feel any better about myself. Possibly because it feels wasteful at some gut level? I don't know. I give some, but it doesn't make any difference.
How can you have £5K left at the end of every month and no savings? Where does the £5K go???
only paid off the house fairly recently. in a few years time we'd have significant savings.
Is your place of work hiring?
I don't do anything particularly special. I work in IT, just at a relatively senior level.
But are you a tightwad when it comes to getting your round in (and that kind of thing)?
no. I always pay my share completely, but at the same time I probably wouldn't treat a mate to dinner out? I think that'd be wierd anyway 🙂
And I reckon the OP is responding to this thread with their own account, to throw us off the scent.
Is it you?
Nope. I'm 48, live in the North West, have a significant mortgage on a house worth about half that of the OPs, and LIDL? Oh good god no 😉
for example, my wife loves a takeaway as a treat, but I see a takeaway as a waste of money, so we maybe get 4 a year. Treating her more often would seem like an easy win, but I’m retissant (sp) to do so
You can afford it, it would make her happy- this is tightwad behaviour.
In some cases, maybe. Especially the family will be happier – for example, my wife loves a takeaway as a treat, but I see a takeaway as a waste of money, so we maybe get 4 a year. Treating her more often would seem like an easy win, but I’m retissant (sp) to do so
It's these sort of things that you need to change - it's fine being tight with yourself (ie, not spending as much as you like on a bike), but don't subject those around you to it. Surely they deserve to enjoy the money even if you don't want to?
No need to be more profligate in your spending habits, invest the £5k per month in something sensible and use the proceeds to bring forward your retirement. You never know how long you've got, or what your health will be like in later life.
Though tbh would it kill you to spare the family the 4am starts and pay for a bit of luggage?
You are in a great position but not one where you will find much sympathy.
I don't think he was seeking sympathy.
n some cases, maybe. Especially the family will be happier – for example, my wife loves a takeaway as a treat, but I see a takeaway as a waste of money, so we maybe get 4 a year. Treating her more often would seem like an easy win, but I’m retissant (sp) to do so
Now this does seem very tight!! Tightwad! 🙂
But it also implies your wife doesn't work and earn her own money. My wife would tell me to sod-off and order one anyway.
Sounds like you are controlling as well as a tightwad.
Getting up at god-awful o'clock to save £100 on flights is both tightwadded and stupid with young children. As is only taking cabin bags. Life would be so much easier if you ditched the cabin bags and took hold bags instead.
Have you thought of signing up to some sort of giving pledge?
Giving away 10% of your "spare" income could save 2 lives every year if donated to a charity that was distributing malaria nets for example!
https://www.givingwhatwecan.org/
Why not invest for your kids? Trust fund etc... They're gonna struggle to afford a house by the time they want one - set up a 2k/month fund each, and be happy you're not being tight, but not wasting money on stuff?
DrP
tabletop2
Full Member
I may be calling troll actually. Who would come on and brag of 5k disposable income a month when we are in a cost of living crisisPosted 17 minutes ago
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+1, really insensitive thread IMO 🙁
Have you thought of signing up to some sort of giving pledge?
Think I'm at 7% net income on a monthly basis..
Although obvs easy if you have a high disposable income....
Wow - nothing helpful to suggest - perhaps hire a tractor to drag that needle out of your arse?
Have some fun! If it would make it easier for you to cope with do it in a controlled fashion - allow yourself £1000 a month to spend on something pointless and wasteful.
"Hi, I'm Pointless and this is my wife, Wasteful"...
For what reason do you save? Surely you should either be looking to retire earlier or set it aside for your children.
Stop worrying about things being expensive or cheap, try looking for things that are good value. A pair of British made shoes might be almost £200 but they can still be good value. Same with food shopping, there's plenty of better quality items that aren't necessarily cheap but the extra expense is worth it so they're still good value.
