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Oops, yeah innovative = intuitive
"How the hell do you manage parenting on your own?" (I'm not sure how to do that box thing)
I don't, but there's no choice so I just do the best I can. I cover the basics such as making sure they're clean, comfortable, fed and safe, then if I can engage with them I'll play a game or take them on an outing. Monday to Friday I'm pretty much emotionally unavailable and over stimulated after work, I'll listen to their day but I go somewhere quiet if they're watching telly, playing video games or being demanding of my attention. They know to articulate their feelings, though my eldest has discovered that slamming a door speaks volumes. I choose my battles and being a bit of an anarchist I don't have that many rules other than be kind and considerate, and that their actions have consequences; such as if they wish to play in their room after bed time they still have to be up for school in the morning.
When I do get a break I'm either tidying up the kid carnage that's built up, straight out on my bike or most likely wasting time weighing up what to do first and achieving nada.
JCB? With my driving skills 😀
Fair enough, can more than understand that answer.
box is done with the "/B-QUOTE" thing
*edit* link didn't work
I came across this blog about what it's like to receive an autism diagnosis at the age of 24. I could relate to a lot of what they said, though they still have hope for acceptance
I found out yesterday that there are 17,000 people on the waiting list for assessment for autism in Norfolk and Suffolk.
Mental health services in East Anglia are in a desperate state of affairs, whatever funding is available is totally inadequate and after care services non-existent to the point that the mental health hospital in Norwich has the majority of its beds taken up by people who are equipped to leave but there is no where for them to go.
My hope is that the situation is better for those affected elsewhere in the country.
Wow! That's a shocking amount waiting for a diagnosis. I hardly had to wait at all for my initial assessment, however I am 2yrs into an 18mth waiting list to see a specialist for therapy and I can't get antidepressants without self sectioning as there's not enough CPN's with the relevant training.
Even after 3 suicide attempts in the past year hasn't given me access to the support I need, I'm considering a 4th go as my circumstances will never change. As the woman in the OddMumOut (sorry for the fb link above) said "the natural difficulties I experienced as a child, teenager and young adult will never cease. They won't go, as they are things that I'll face on a daily basis, because I can never change that I'm autistic.
I thought it would be better when I received a diagnosis and that people would be more accepting, after all we are all there to support the parents of autistic children. People forget that these children grow into adults (if they haven't committed suicide, 66% of autistic people have attempt suicide and the average life expectancy is 47 for autistic women, the highest suicide risk group) Autism and its constant stigmatisation is a gift to NT's, it allows them to bond over their awkward children, they make a career out of it and become a pillar of the community.
If there was a cure I'd take it
What can I say aweeshoe - gonna no do that? Your GP should surely still be able to see you for antidepressants?
I am looking for a little advice as well. My "journey" into understanding my oddness / ASD traits has led me a bit into anxiety as I am now realising more of the odd things I have done and said that previously I was oblivious to are now more obvious. Clearly its a good thing I now have more understanding but the anxiety especially over things I have done and said at work is starting to build up to the point that having been on holiday for nearly 2 weeks I am beginning to panic about going back tomorrow.
I don't quite know how to express this properly but its been a long while since I have been so anxious about work. thoughts?
Tj, it'll not go to plan so be prepared. For the first day back I like to get my uniform and the things I need ready the night before as that's the only thing you can practically do. I find it hard to plan in advance as there's so many variables in an average day that I never know which potential situation to prepare for. I take each moment at a time, and only focus on what I have to do next, then it doesn't get too overwhelming. Do you have somewhere at work where you can take a few quiet moments? Even if it's just the toilets, I find that having a few minutes can help me carry on without a shutdown or meltdown. More often than not I wonder what I was stressing about when I get there and just slip into my routine
TJ it may be because your recent routine has changed.
Ta
New boss as well which of course is disruption as she is changing things. It just feels like I am more sensitive now to the odd things I do and say and thats what is giving me the anxiety. I'm done too - couple of years off retirement and I have little energy and enthusiasm left after 40 years
good point about routine. I have already started. Lights on the commuter charged, uniform ready. I never realised before just how ritualised some of this stuff is.
Night shift as well which doesn't help.
Ta.
Tj; I've got a new boss too, just as I thought I'd learned how to get on with my old one. The new one is a proper boss, a former tesco executive, whereas the last one was a managers' son and couldn't give a toss. I get the impression that it's best that I avoid him, just in case I go and say something like "is that excuse applicable for me too?" or "if I had a dick you'd listen"
I'm really anxious about what I say and do, both inside and outside of work. It didn't help that someone I know said that I "have odd mannerisms" and that I'm "nippy", "weird", "special", "different" and "bot" amongst other comments, I don't socialise anymore and hide behind my keyboard because of it
Piece of Mind podcast with Professor Jeremy Hall, Director of Cardiff University's Neuroscience and Mental Health Research. He discusses some of the latest research into autism and how autistic people are more likely to experience mental health problems like depression and anxiety.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1dvPUAV2TG02JYSWRczqUM?si=UD3r_fPnTRmJgzEiCIYTog
I was told by a private senior and experienced autism physc. that anti depressants need to be treated carefully for the autistic. Probably why your GP won't prescribe them as they do not have the relevant experience and a mental health hospital will have a physc with the the relevant experience and knowledge. So your GP probably isn't being unhelpful just inexperienced.
Hope this does not put you off getting help.
That's similar to what my gp said, when I asked why he just said that autistic people can react differently, then when I asked how he didn't have a reply. I've asked to see a regular therapist or cpn but they're insisting that it has to be an autism specialist, I'd have hoped something was better than nothing especially as I have kids. I do worry about the negative impact I have on them as I struggle to provide a nurturing environment for them
“diagnosed with Aspergers 2 years ago”
Technically you’d have been diagnosed with ASD 2 years ago, as was I. Asperger’s is no longer a recognised thing.
A lady at work in conversation last week said she thinks I may have Aspergers due to some traits I have. Since then I have done several online tests for Autism/Aspergers out of curiosity (don't know how accurate they are?) and doing them, I always fall in the very high borderline.
Never ever considered Autism/Aspergers
@Kuco the tests are an indicator that you may be autistic, it does need a formal diagnosis to confirm it as there are other conditions and disorders that are similar but may not have the difficulties which autistic people experience. If there are areas in which you struggle ask the Dr for a referral, your area might have support services
I've never considered my "traits" as a problem though they have got me into and also out of trouble on various occasions.
Might be worth mentioning it at my next doctors visit?
My traits have never been a problem for me either, it's other people that have a problem with them lol
🙂
My traits have never been a problem for me either, it’s other people that have a problem with them lol
Too true. I don't have a problem with my traits but they do hold me back in certain aspects of life (i.e. expected behaviour at social gatherings, expected personality types for certain jobs/levels of job)
I have long accepted that is not going to change and make the best of the traits I do have in areas that others struggle (non-emotional and objective approach to analysis with a clear and very focused mind). I was lucky that I found a job where that has be in my favour.
Kucu - how old are you? What difference would having a formal diagnosis make to your life? It won't change who you are. Formal diagnosis is not easy and takes a fair bit of your time and professionals time that is in short supply and needed for people with severe difficulties.
Only you can decide if its worth going for a formal diagnosis but I at 58 years old decided that a formal diagnosis would not really make any difference to me. Whats more important to me is understanding myself and understanding the coping strategies needed t make life run smoothly
aweeshoe, when you said 'how' - they can make you worst.
about getting a diagnoses - it's nice to know for sure though - or not as the case may be.
@trumpton I could feel worse?! I'm not sure that's possible, I have suicidal thoughts daily. It surprises me that the greater need you have the less support you receive. I can understand it though, I'd not wish to be the medic tasked with a patient beyond my expertise and the implications that may have.
I have long accepted that is not going to change and make the best of the traits I do have in areas that others struggle
I find it hard to accept that it won't change, I don't wish to live with the loneliness of it. It sounds pathetic but social media is the only socialising that I do at the moment, most of it is because I'm a lone parent too so there's little opportunity to meet people and when I do they're put off by my traits. I didn't realise that when you go to book club it's actually about the host's decor and shoes, you shouldn't mention the hair either 😂
there's many different anti depressants on offer so you should get better.
TJ I will probably never get properly tested but would be interested if I had the chance to find out for sure as it would probably explain a lot.
Just did roper’s “new” test on page 4.
I got 204 ,professional assessment advised. I’ll catch up on the posts after that when I haven’t had a pint.
🙂
@senor j, wow! It's interesting that on average asc women score higher than asc men in ropers "new" test
https://photos.app.goo.gl/yuM96wAs4cJSo5C77
roper's test 187.
183 for me, some of the questions didn’t have a suitable answer for me to choose
I also found that Houns.
@senor j, @Kuco and @houns; my score on ropers test is 195, when I was formally assessed the psychiatrist said that my score was unusually high. If you're experiencing difficulties with any aspect of your life it may be worth seeking a formal diagnosis as you might get access to certain services and support, some autistic people are entitled to PIP. However, I will add caution as there's a lot of misperceptions of autism and you could receive detrimental treatment from friends, family and employers.
I have been diagnosed, but only initially, I couldn’t get funding for formal assessment by psychiatrist (I didn’t push this further as rather the funding go towards a child being assessed). I can still access any help needed via my gp
“If I had a dick you would listen” ,this made me laugh.
"could receive detrimental treatment from friends, family and employers."
I don't think my employers would cope very well,as it is they leave me alone in a little dungeon.
🙂
@senor j I've just been given my own office, they call it the cell 😂 I've been given more autonomy along with it, basically my boss has realised I surpass their knowledge and my productivity has doubled without their assistance.
I might even try asking for a raise again, the last time I was offered a demotion 😂
I'm a mere borderline with 151 on that test.
I’ve just been given my own office
paradise
what do you do for the day job?
re: meds, if the meds aren't helping or they make you feel odd (or worse) there are a ton of people with experience on here and some may share your condition, so its worth asking around, maybe a new thread would work. on a personal note, one of my family has been through a few different meds before settling on one with the best overall effect
Roper's test has a threshold below the mean for the neurotypicals. It is also pretty binary. Sensitivity and specificity looks modest. Having the suspected class makes that reasonable. Is scored as expected and commensurate with the previous test. there are plenty of others too. But then once yuo've done two, you will understand the nature of the questions. And yes, I am very sensitive to textures in clothing! Always have been. I also have sensitive hearing and speak softly.
Interestingly I scored much lower on that test than on another I did - but a lot of the questions I really didn't have an answer for. When you have a choice between "very" and "none" but my experience is "a bit" then its hard to answer.
It's a shit test.
Each question is based on your own perception of yourself so if you go into it thinking you are autistic/have ASD traits you're going to score higher.
It even preps you for this in the sign up.
Most questions are un answerable...
Take the very first qusetion:
"I am a sympathetic person?" 1)yes? 2)only as an adult? 3)only as a child? 4)Never?
honestly? None of the above.
pretty much all people are sympathetic on some level at some point in their lives. ASD or not. pre 16yrs old or not.
Pretty much all people are NOT sypathetic 100% of their lives.
The next question is even worse.
"I often use words and phrases from movies and television in conversations".
Da actual fuq?
I just googled Ropers Test and couldn't find an appropriate link.
To clarify the test I posted is from a Aspergers/ASD organisation and is used in a generic basic introduction. Never rely on a simple test. ASD is a complex and quite variable lifelong condition which normally would be confirmed through a specialist multidisciplinary ASD team over a period time, taking into consideration, family interviews, childhood developement, school and teacher’s reports, sometimes physiotherapy assessment and several interviews and comunication tests.
Yeah. I know.
Although there's limited scope to answering the questions in ropers test it's more detailed than the official ones and it's based upon the questions that the psychiatrist asks in the assessments. My assessment took 4hrs on 2 separate days and was by no means as intensive as it would have been if I was younger, I was expected to have developed coping strategies and not in need of any support services. In the assessment the psychiatrist wasn't interested in the answers that much, they are only "traits" which are observable across several personality types but he paid a lot of attention to the way in which I moved, reacted and how I arrived at my answers which indicated my thought process. A lot of people think that autistic people have a "male brain" and empathy deficit, as Simon Baron-Cohen advocates. However his theory is unable to address a lot of queries about autism, I'd even go so far as to say it perpetrates detrimental myths. Gina Rippon is closer to a definitive description of as to how autism presents, by examining the neurology of the autistic brain rather than perceived traits
paradise
what do you do for the day job?
@mrmonkfinger sorry I missed your post earlier. I work in a forestry nursery as a handpicker, a bit like a personal shopper for forestry and conservation projects. I spend most of my day out in the field, which is bliss, but the "shed" is busy with about 50-100 people in there. I've been given my own space to work in as I found that working amongst the others hindered me, I couldn't concentrate with the noise and people kept moving my stuff 🧐
I love my job (pay's crap) and having my own space has allowed me to develop my role into something I find really interesting and rewarding