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So yet again, my child is accused of being spoiled.
What justification do you have to back that up?
She has a few more 'things' than others and a few less than some others.
At what level of 'possessions' does your definition of 'spoiled' become applicable and by what do you measure that assessment?
What justification do you have to back that up?
Your own words, and also the extensive list of things you have bought her maybe? And her lack of gratitude, as expressed by your initial post. They tend to indicate a spoiled state of affairs.
Yeah, do spoil her a little (only child).
How could you not predict the reaction from the STW sanctimonious lot?
Chances are that our kids have more than we had, we had more than our parents, until you get back to the child who only had a groat, and wasn't grateful for that either! WHen you were 10, how appreciative were you of the things you had?
The point I think is that there is so much more to buy now than there was 20 or 30 years ago - games consoles are now common, mobile phones are common, TV's are common, but the type of entertainment has changed - it's much more about technological entertainment now than ever before, and a lot of it is "normal", so kids aren't appreciative - it is all they have ever known.
You wait for the next generation - they'll have far more than our kids.
I know tafkastr - he is the most grounded bloke i have met with proper family values. His daughter is not spoiled, he is merely stating that kids have access to many more things than we did as kids and see them as being the norm.
Some of you need to learn to read AND understand rather than skim and jump on the things that you THINK you have read.
Oh and the bloke whose 4yr old has a DS - get a ****ing grip!
Some of you need to learn to read AND understand rather than skim and jump on the things that you THINK you have read.
Then:
Oh and the bloke whose 4yr old has a DS - get a **** grip!
❓
iDave - MemberWhat justification do you have to back that up?
Your own words, and also the extensive list of things you have bought her maybe? And her lack of gratitude, as expressed by your initial post. They tend to indicate a spoiled state of affairs.
Yeah, do spoil her a little (only child).
There's a difference between spoiling a child with material objects and that child subsequently turning into the definition of 'spoiled'.
Her face on Christmas morning was an absolute picture and subsequent claims of it being the best Christmas ever were very gratifying - not only in a materialistic sense, but in the sense of the family being together after I've spent a long time working away.
I didn't express a lack of gratitude - I expressed that she didn't appreciate fully what she had sometimes. Again there's a difference, which I've explained at times within this thread.
Cheers Rob/ralph 🙄
elf - are you genuinely retarded or do you just pretend?
You're not very good at this 'debating' thing are you? 🙄
I didn't express a lack of gratitude
Try bloody well explaining it to her to gain a bit of gratitude and you may as well speak to the frikkin wall.
iDave - lol, I'll take that one.
That line should have read appreciation 😳
She's always grateful.
idave - he is to debating to what you are to sensible diet advice
elf - are you genuinely retarded or do you just pretend?
What d'you reckon, genius?
you're definitely not one of them ergo you are retarded
Right, ok. Thanks doctor.
a) which bit of my diet advice wasn't sensible ralph?
b) based on what, other than your opinion?
dave most iirc
Never mind, you might understand these things more accurately one day.
Not sure how to word this but kids 'appear' to have little sense of value, they have so much with no responsibility?
The purse strings are one of the very few things left I as a parent have total control over.
I actually don't mind what he has, but I try to make him think about were things come from. I also like to get him to try and see past the hype and peer pressure.
Other things I like to do, if for example he wants something pretty expensive I'll try and get him to contribute in some way, like extra jobs and reduced pocket money. I wouldn't be so cruel as not to get him what he wants if he has done his best.
Also not having credit cards helps.
Why would you expect gratitude from a 10 yr old that doesn't know anything else?
Bit of an odd expectation IMO.
Class thread, I'm staying well back as my kids are proper spoilt brats & they know it, but then they are teenage women & they know how to get what they want, I'm just thankful that they have seemed not to of applied their know how to boys yet!
I'm just thankful that they have [b]seemed[/b] not to of applied their know how to boys yet!
😆
Try to remember back to when you were a teenager. Did your parents know everything [i]you[/i] got up to? Hmm?
Thanks Fred, but thankfully I never relied on technology that is traceable to make my plans 😉 *
*That's what I tell myself & I have no wish to go any further thanks.
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTR - can I ask why your kids need all this?
Im due to be a dad for the first time in a few days and granted I have a lot to learn but I'm astounded why you need to give so generously to a child.
What is she getting at 11? I've heard there are canny deals on helicopters and veyrons at the moment.
EDIT - I have just read
and it now all makes sense. When I was a kid a few mates Dads were working away types and they were all the same too. Is there a subconscious guilt thing here? Away from the possessions situation do you have issues about being away from her for periods of time?'ve spent a long time working away
What's the problem, how much does all the stuff in the op cost £800-£1000 i.e. nothing - Unless your bitter enough (Fred) to have a problem with the more affluent people of the forum spending a minimal amount of there wages on there children
Do affluent people have effluent spelling?
Seeing my nieces' Facebook posts over Chrimbo, I am shocked at the things kids are bought nowadays - 10yr olds getting Blackberries and laptops etc.
i think what the OP has listed is quite normal tbh.
my oldest two boys are 8yrs and 13yrs and have lots of gadgets and game stuff , but so do most of the other kids at their schools.
i cant compare it to when i was a child as these things were not invented then. 😀
when i was little i had an older sister (still do), kids these days seem to have a bruvva from anuvva muvva an a sista from anuvva mista, signs of the times, innit 😯
the real issue here is not 'are our kids unappreciative of what they have' but are we as a society.
the true cost of all our disposable gadgets and trinkets that we surround ourselves with to help forget the tedium of our lives that contain so little danger and challenge is yet to be measured.
these kids are going find that cost out though.
JT.... I think I get what you are saying, have to say I disagree. Plenty of danger and challenge here, along with the disposable gadgets and trinkets.
Do affluent people have effluent spelling?
The ones I know don't, but that's probbly cos they've had a decent education...
Thanks Fred, but thankfully I never relied on technology that is traceable to make my plans
Heh! A friend of mine's son was hotly denying 'using' tinternet after everyone had gone to bed. Unfortunately he hadn't counted on Remote Desktop... 😳
The point I think is that there is so much more to buy now than there was 20 or 30 years ago
I wonder how much parents spent back then, relative to now? An equivalent amount? Less?
I do think there's more pressure to spend these days, and easily available credit makes stuff far more attainable. It does seem that more people have more 'disposable' income, but I think more folk spend more on something like Christmas.
I also think the 'overcompensation' as admitted by STR is quite common too, I know folk who do this.
come off it there is no danger in suburban living
all of us on here put ourselves in danger on purpose, riding bikes up and down mountains because our lives lack natural danger
my point really was where are these things going to go when they are tired of?
there is so much plastic floating around the oceans for instance that the world health organisation has just upped the limit as to what is deemed to be acceptable levels in our food. so what was unsafe before has been deemed safe as we have passed that point
carbon337 - Member
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsSTR - can I ask why your kids need all this?Im due to be a dad for the first time in a few days and granted I have a lot to learn but I'm astounded why you need to give so generously to a child.
What is she getting at 11? I've heard there are canny deals on helicopters and veyrons at the moment.
EDIT - I have just read
've spent a long time working away
and it now all makes sense. When I was a kid a few mates Dads were working away types and they were all the same too. Is there a subconscious guilt thing here? Away from the possessions situation do you have issues about being away from her for periods of time?
My 'kid' (note singular) doesn't 'need' anything that I've listed.
At 11 she'll have whatever we can afford that we see as fitting and deserving of her wants/needs/our financial wellbeing.
I've only been working away for the past year and don't feel a need conciously (or subconciously as far as I'm aware) to over-compensate.
As ivixxiv points out, none of it actually costs that much to be honest. To be fair, I was going to hold back on one or two things this Christmas, but then I considered what I spend on myself and general living, then equated that to what I earn and in the end I thought sod it, she's getting some good gear this year.
She'd love her own laptop, but hasn't got one yet. She had a portable TV/DVD in her bedroom when she was 8, but never used it - now she has no TV in her bedroom. She actually didn't even 'want' an XBox (but I did) however now she's got one she loves it.
She's not experienced us being 'poor' and until that happens (I'm now self employed so there's every chance) I don't feel the need to hold back on pleasurable possessions. If the time comes, then she'll be educated thus.
none of it actually costs that much to be honest
Overindulgence needn't cost much at all. Sweets and crisps don't cost much, in the general scheme of things, but I think we can agree that overindulgence with such things might not be that good an idea/
STR; I'm not suggesting your child is spoilt. In fact, you have. I think you've raised a very valid point about kids today not valuing things in the way that people before them have done. I don't think your little girl is alone in this, nor particularly excessively overindulged. I know people who give their kids far more.
I do find it interesting that people from poorer circumstances tend to indulge their children more than those from more affluent backgrounds. Possibly because people value different things; materialism seems to be more apparent in those from less affluence. In my experience anyway. I'm sure some kids from rich families are totally spoilt (Osborne kids??? Paris Hilton??????).
My point was generally about kids not knowing how lucky there are with what's available in comparison to 20-30 years ago.
20-30 years ago I lived in a house with central heating, our car was parked outside, my sister and I had lego, a Vic20, there was a colour tv in the sitting rooom, etc. 20-30 years earlier my parents had none of that.
FWIW, my 10year old got a laptop for Xmas, and already had a DS. She also uses the family Wii. Pretty much the same as the rest of the kids in her class.
OP you are not treating your Daughter properly. She should also have two ponies.
I wonder how much typical kids toys cost now as a % of average wage earnt by parents compare to that 20-30 years ago. I never got a new BMX as a kid as the halfords spec ones were £100 (too much according to my parents) they are still about £100 now 20 odd years on, despite wages going up.
Hora Junior gets bikes and use of my computer and DVD.
THATS IT.
I dont even own/use Sky so he'll have to amuse himself breaking into cars etc 😉
THATS IT.
Doesn't even get to use apostrophes? 🙂
And I'll think you'll find it's really easy resisting their demands when they're under 3, then it gets harder. When every other kid at school also has a DSi (or whatever)...
So if he demands it I have to give it to him?! I don't think parenting works that way (not in my books anyway).
This is quite an interesting thread, with a little girl who turns 4 in May her pester power is only going to increase. tbh if you can afford it and they deserve it I don't see the problem. I was brought up to make sure I "minded my p's and q's" and the like and I have made a real effort to empart this onto her as I think politeness and general good behaviour is a must. I am pretty sure it is possible to have an appreciation for what you get whether it is a little or alot.
Pester power is driven by big company marketing and fuelled through the playground.
Dont ****ing give into it. Good parenting is about saying 'no' rather than bringing them up with the contents of your wallet.
Oh, just another point - I'm struggling to think when our daughter has actually asked/demanded/pestered for anything she's got.
Everything I've mentioned was gleaned from weeks of enquiring about what she'd like before Birthdays & Christmases - she never knows what she's getting and it's always a surprise for her.
In fact when something such as an iPod is mentioned, we usually say we'll have to see as they're a bit pricey.
I don't think she even made a Christmas list this year, so she's certainly not a needy child in that respect.
Tho OP had his own TV 29 years ago! 😯
Pester power is driven by big company marketing and fuelled through the playground.
Dont **** give into it. Good parenting is about saying 'no' rather than bringing them up with the contents of your wallet.
The best post so far on this thread.