If its not a new phone to use to buy new things or a bigger tv to see more adverts to buy more stuff or a new computer because its cool and it'll help me buy more stuff or a new tablet to help me source and buy more stuff when I cant get to my computer or tv. Or another jacket or a new bike or new tyres or wheels or some other bloody thing that I probably could do without but convince myself I need!
WTF is wrong with me!?!?!?!
Even before I wrote this I was reading the thread about waterproof jackets, thinking, ooh that looks good I think I want, no, need that! I already have four or five or maybe even six jackets!!!! (probably more)
In all seriousness, i'm becoming a bit sick of this, I cant seem to help myself either. As far back as I can remember I have been this way. I read some guff online about switching all your devices off and living more, but looking for a less Buddha more smaller stepped approach without feeling like i'm cutting myself off. Maybes that's the problem? Help!
Any advice greatly appreciated!
Car boot.
Check your bank balance?
If that's healthy, work less?
A budget for your personal spending might help you get started. Start high and work your way back over a year or so.
Have kids
I'd come back with other peoples junk no doubt!
In all honesty, travel.
Spend some time in developing countries. I promise it will help add perspective to what is necessary and/or important.
I think my biggest problem is I can easily convince myself I need it, then before I've even considered the costs / implications I've devised a way to afford it
peterfile - when you come back, is it not easy to forget and start the spending to make your travelling better??
Do a bit of volunteering. With the very poor or terminally ill.
You'll soon see there's more to life than "things"
bighairydel - Member
...Any advice greatly appreciated!
I would have suggested developing an interest in vintage and retro bikes, but that was before I splurged more than the cost of a decent road bike on a 1930s thoroughbred (at least it won't depreciate), and now I'm facing the problem of building another shed to fit the bloody things in. Or doing a cull...
iolo - that's the thing, I do know there is more to life - my mum was terminally ill and was a massive wake up call - however these experiences actually made me buy more stuff as I was of the attitude of well what the hell its only money, you only live once kind of attitude.
Freeing yourself from desire is so much harder than it sounds. Realising that apart from the short rush you get from a new shiny, that your life is the same miserable shitpile it always was is a start. Buy things only when what they're replacing is/are truly dead. Do stuff instead of buying stuff. Evaluate which bits of technology you have truly make your life better (I would include smartphones and Sky+ here 🙂 ).
Takes cold turkey at the start but gets easier.
peterfile - when you come back, is it not easy to forget and start the spending to make your travelling better??
Materialism is a product of our society. It's around you 24/7. It doesn't exist in some places. I've found that spending time in those places opens my eyes to how consumerism is affecting me back home.
Don't get me wrong, I like new and shiny stuff as much as the next person and I still buy a lot of it...but it definitely helps me de-clutter when I get back and properly work out cost/benefit of stuff.
An interesting side effect is that the travelling and experience itself is addictive, so you end up wanting to spend money on that rather than "things". So when you see a new bike for £1,500 you think "oooh that's nice...but I could go and explore Laos for a couple of weeks for that money". I've never regretted spending a single penny on travel.
epicycle - you sound exactly like how I think! More stuff = needing a bigger garage! Not just any garage either! Heated, white walled, workbench and every tool possible. Never to be used in case they get dirty!
Turn the internet off.
deadlydarcy - that sounds like a great idea to only replace whats knackered!
if you cann afford all nice new stuff all the time, why are you worrying? I'd be morwe concerned if plastic and loans were funding your purchase, that is a concern.
Short of that, go and live in a teepee in wales? give up the capitalist life and live off the land.
http://www.diggersanddreamers.org.uk/index.php?one=dat&two=det&sel=tipivill
I'm the same. Spend loads of money on stuff I don't need but convince myself that I do.
peterfile - ok I like this way of thinking, though it takes a lot of self discipline not to buy and spend crap in the meantime before going or booking a trip!? Don't you end up buying new shiny things to take on your trips?
Get a joint account with your Mrs, then buy an old house, the get married, then fire out 3 kids in quick succession. I no longer have the means to be materialistic!
jekkyl - I can afford it but I guess its stopping me from going travelling or saving to buy a house or something large and important. As soon as I save some it burns a hole in my pocket and a new car comes along (for a 2mile commute and carting my bike around - again that I convinced myself I needed!) or something similar
plumslikerocks - I am scared of having kids because of this fact! It sounds mental but I am!
I'm exactly the same. My theory is that it's because I grew up poor.
Have a go at trying to keep up with more TV series and programmes than you have time for. I realised recently that what with all the stuff I want to see on catchup because I go to bed early in the week, plus Better Call Saul etc on Netflix AND the films avaiable for streaming, there's just not enough hours in the day. I realised that the more I thought about it, the more irritated and unhappy I got, so I decided in the end just to trim to what I thought was ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL and what I REALLY wanted to see.
Better.
This process might translate for you into your buying habit.
All joking aside, I find STW the worst thing for it.
I don't need anything but I have near enough bought a breadmaker this morning, earlier in the week it was a green helmet (I have 2 MTB and 1 road helmet already) and I think before that it was a new dropper post.
I'm currently unsubscribing from all e-shot newsletters and offers. They definitely don't help!
Hooli - I feel your pain, in between commenting on here, I too almost got a bread maker, a cheap trail centre hard tail and a berghause vapour storm jacket!
Mr Woppit - apparently Valium helps to curb my shopping addiction! Off to the chemist for some. I guess if your monged out you wont buy anything!!
peterfile - ok I like this way of thinking, though it takes a lot of self discipline not to buy and spend crap in the meantime before going or booking a trip!? Don't you end up buying new shiny things to take on your trips?
No. That's the beauty of visiting poor countries, the less you have the better.
Phone, camera, maybe a cheap tablet for keeping yourself entertained on the flight. That's all you need. Nothing else will improve your experience in any way.
In many ways the less you spend in country the more you get to grips with the place. ie staying in the Park Hyatt in Phnom Penh isn't that much different from staying in the Park Hyatt in Miami...same goes for meals, bars etc. Eat and do as the locals do.
I love complete culture shock. It's incredibly addictive. Walking out of the airport in some crazy, faraway place is probably one of the best feelings I can get. Adventure, new experiences, people...it sounds cheesy but it's incredibly good for the soul. Much more so than a new telly.
I honestly think that if I get to 80 and realise that I've spent every single penny on travel and have explored the world and its people, I won't regret it, I can't see how I would. I just hope I'm not sat next to the old dude in the nursing home who wants to talk about all the nice cars and TVs he had through his life 🙂
And as jam bo says...try to stay off the internet!
Get a really shitty paid job, that'll soon sort you out.
jam bo - Member
Turn the internet off.
Very true, actually. I spend about 20 weeks a year with no internet connectivity at home and have to rely on using wi-fi in a bar or our local shop.
It's shocking how much less stuff I end up needing/buying.
neilsonwheels - had a few of those - ended up in debt. There always seemed to be a way for me to get the stuff I thought I needed.
I think you need to embrace the Buddhist philosophy more. Proper meditation and channelling your thoughts really helps. You need a shrine, obviously. I have a 18" carved Jade laughing Buddha statue on gilded plinth going spare. Really quality carving and will enhance any home. Yours for £850, if you want pics, email me.
Edit: Also, buy this book.
[url= http://www.amazon.co.uk/Oxford-Handbook-Happiness-Library-Psychology/dp/019955725X/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424427368&sr=1-5&keywords=becoming+less+materialistic ]http://www.amazon.co.uk/Oxford-Handbook-Happiness-Library-Psychology/dp/019955725X/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424427368&sr=1-5&keywords=becoming+less+materialistic[/url]
It is difficult to give effective advise knowing so little about you or your circumstances.however you could try spending your money on people ,not things.
It does not have to be charities.You could employ a cleaner,a personal trainer,or a life skills coach to help you with goals you wish to achieve.This type of thinking helps put money back into your community & provide jobs.
Also buy good food from local suppliers,even organic if that is not too controversial for STW.
Good luck with this enquirey,it is the start of true maturity.
Cheers
Jeff
Again the internet is now a seen as a service that is 'essential'. I have got the stage where browsing has become a pastime now! Its the first thing I do when I wake up and its the last thing I do before going to sleep. Whether its facebook / Instagram or STW, what happens if I miss some important news! I'll implode right?!!?!
Read:
How to be Free by Tom Hodgkinson and/or The High Price of Materialism by Tim Kasser
Watch:
Naomi Klein's No Logo (MEF)
Doing things is infinitely more fun and productive than consuming things
Jeff - its funny because those things you have said to spend money on make a lot of sense however over the years I have managed to convince myself they were a waste of money! I have done a really great job on myself here. I'm maybe needing hypnotherapy or something!
Commit to a bigger project. If you haven't bought a house yet and you have the means to do so then that should be your first priority. In the meantime put spare money somewhere it's a little harder to access. Premium bonds are my favourite, once they're bought the money is gone from my current account and no longer subject to temptation.
Hi BHD,start from where you are,if you like ,are addicted to the internet,use it to your advantage.Watch things like the TED lectures.The brain is very plastic so it can be moulded.The direction really is up to you.
Have kids
+1
Also, try "off the shelf" things. About 12 months ago I wrote a post on hear moaning about the extortionate cost of buying a new bike to replace my then ASR5, with the same level of kit. The ASR5 arose of years of upgrades/frame selling & buying etc. About £4k for a replacement IIRC.
I bought an off the shelf Anthem 29er for £1500, spent £500 on upgrades (or £250 more than the sale of the Yeti got me) and I have an excellent bike for everything I do which I like.
That was the tipping point f materialism for me. You don't need to look / act like a tramp, just buy things you need without caring what others think of it, and don't buy things you don't need.
IMO people are far more invested in your personality & character than what you own, and if they aren't, they aren't really mates.
TED lectures, I love them, great idea to get back into them.
You don't have to become a full on chanting vegan to take on some of the good bits of Buddhism. Regular mindfulness meditation is good for gettin perspective and quietening down some of the urges you have.
Peterfile - I sort of agree about travel etc but interestingly I've seen the point made that we can be materialistic about experiences as well as things (always wanting more etc), which I think is true.
