Forum menu
16 and 13 here and so pretty much self sufficient - as long as they don't wind each other up. I'm full time, Mrs OTS 4 days per week. It's actually been better than I was expecting; although I've not quite got to full fluency in Portuguese. I've got 4 hours of my day back through not commuting, which is enough to keep the place in a reasonable state. I don't envy you lot with younger kids though. At. All!
1 kid, 1 adult working... obvious solution in that you work, your wife does the child care and you give her a break over lunch and take the kido out for a bike ride or something, then parent 50/50 in the evenings and weekends to ensure you both get some time as a family but also you both get some some non-work / non-kido time?
I'm really feeling for my colleagues who have 2+ little ones and 2 parents working. Nightmare. They are all working early mornings/late nights to try and balance childcare and work. Knock in impact on everyone else with your emails going from 5am through to midnight and feeling like you need to respond and working more to take the pressure off them as far as possible. Couple of people have 1 parent WFH and their partner has to work out of the home, even worse.
Work say family first... but the deadlines and pressure don't go away so not sure what they are expected to do.
Work say family first
They all say that. They never mean it.
Which leads to......
the deadlines and pressure don’t go away
Every place I have ever worked have said they value 'family' and then expect you to drop everything, stay late, get in early etc at the first opportunity.
As far as meaningless phrases go it's right up there with, 'There has to be give and take'.
Yes, we give and you take.
****s.
I’m embracing the chaos. Teams video meetings with my two year old sat on the desk and waving at people. Trading meetings with a six year old playing with a lightsaber in the background. Not had complaints from my bosses or customers/suppliers yet. To be perfectly honest if they did I’d laugh and ignore them.
Our house is very small and semi open plan downstairs. I can’t work upstairs as there simply isn’t room. Mrs F is a stay at home mum with our daughter normally, but adding an energetic six year old in to the mix has livened things up. It’s a confusing time for the little guys. The way I see it the disruption is easier for me to understand and cope with. I quite like having calls with very serious individuals and then having to ask them to hang on whilst I stop my daughter from climbing the shoe cupboard again.
I don’t care if work say family first or not. Quite simply it’s just family first, end of. I’m still doing my job to the best of my ability under the circumstances.
As far as meaningless phrases go it’s right up there with, ‘There has to be give and take’.
Yes, we give and you take.
It's all about mind over matter.
They don't mind and you don't matter.
Every place I have ever worked have said they value ‘family’ and then expect you to drop everything, stay late, get in early etc at the first opportunity.
This attitude is sometimes reinforced by colleagues/peers too, even when it contradicts policy. Some (a minority, thankfully) of the older staff in my workplace were fortunate to have partners who gave up careers in the 80s/90s to raise children (so that they could continue theirs). Roll forward 30 years to the current era and they think that requests for flexible working to help manage childcare are a travesty and will openly say so.
This attitude is sometimes reinforced by colleagues/peers too, even when it contradicts policy. Some (a minority, thankfully) of the older staff in my workplace were fortunate to have partners who gave up careers in the 80s/90s to raise children (so that they could continue theirs). Roll forward 30 years to the current era and they think that requests for flexible working to help manage childcare are a travesty and will openly say so.
Pull the ladder up, cos I'm alright Jack?
I don't have too much of that at my place, my problems are just ass kissers who try to score points.
Pull the ladder up, cos I’m alright Jack?
Indeed... In a funny way, covid-19 WFH has neutered their stance somewhat, as it’s now impossible to work without flexibility. It helps that our HoD has kids. My wife has more of an issue with the ass licking/virtue signalling than I do because she works in a big office as part of a large team. Fortunately, her boss is good at picking it up and dealing with it.
In our bigger dept meetings (30+) on MS Teams it’s been de facto to turn off video and microphones to save bandwidth and background distractions, which means you can disappear off for a bit to deal with kids etc. One of my colleagues posted a PM to the meeting host that he had a family matter to deal with, shagged his wife, then rejoined the meeting.
This was me working through breakfast yesterday...
[img] 
[/img]
Wife and I both work full time normally, 40 hours a week. Both WFH full-time now, basically business as usual except for also looking after a 4yo and 8yo. As mentioned above, the maths doesn't add up in terms of hours available in the week.
My wife's job is more demanding so she spends most of her time in the spare bedroom, now 'the office' and probably does more like 45 hours now as she is a team leader and also project manager/director on a couple of big jobs so has to do a lot of ringing around coordinating. Meanwhile, I work from the dining room table and also do the childcare. I'm lucky in that while I'm officially still full-time my workload has dropped to maybe 70% of normal as a lot of my work is driven by the public - since they're stuck at home, they have less to complain about (at least in terms of things that affect my job). Also, while we have had similar messages to those above from 'the management', I'm inclined to believe they mean it. They have said outright that if you have kids/dependents at home you might not be able to fit in a full working week and that's fine, just let people know so that any work can be redistributed. In team meetings there's there's a mutually-agreed-despite-not-having-discussed-it ask-no-questions policy on how many hours people are actually doing, as long as things are getting done. Seems to be working for now.
It's bloody exhausting, but I'm very much aware that we're in a much better situation than a lot of others, so trying not to complain.
****ing hectic. It's been alright since the Easter "holidays" but I'm not looking forward to next week when I need to try to school my two as well.
Single Dad of a 4 and 8 year old. I'd hoped to be able to school both at the same time for a few hours then go back to work, but that didn't go to plan. I'm just sitting one on my desk beside me while I try to do their schoolwork and keep an eye on my email at the same time.
Their Mum isn't much use as she only takes them for a few hours in the evening during the working week (and the kids also have homework and dinner to do when they are with her - yes, they have been set daywork as well as homework!)
It'll be good once it's all over. I'm busier than ever 🙁
5 and 8 year old girls here ... my wife works for the NHS, and is luckily taking some of her holiday at the moment (for some odd reason they wouldn't let her cancel it even though she asked!) - so I can crack on with work.
But when she has been at work she's on a 12 hour shift starting at 8.30, so the kids are mine all day. It's tough going trying to keep them entertained, getting them exercised, sorting them with an endless supply of snacks, giving them school activities to work on plus the one on one time with the youngest for her reading. This is all on top of trying to get some work output done, which on most days is almost non-existant.
I work in software development for a large insurance company - and luckily they're really understanding. I've been told that they'll support my wife as a front line worker by allowing me to look after the kids - and just to do work as and when I can. Things could be much, much worse for us.
I’m embracing the chaos. Teams video meetings with my two year old sat on the desk and waving at people. Trading meetings with a six year old playing with a lightsaber in the background. Not had complaints from my bosses or customers/suppliers yet. To be perfectly honest if they did I’d laugh and ignore them.
Oh this too.
Frankly all I've heard off clients for the last 4.5 weeks has been "Are you working from home as well?" In fact my Daughters rendition of "Mary had a little Lamb" brought a Lady who was missing her Grand Kids to tears.
Things I've come to accept:
Just let it happen, yes the youngest will build a house out of the sofa, yes there will be chalk and crayons everywhere and the Teenager will wreck the kitchen making lunch. I just deal with it at 5, trying to keep on top of it during the day was a fools errand.
Don't try to pretend to people that you're suited and booted in the office, it's madness, everyone's in the same boat. My Mate works for HSBC Customer Service, he's sat on his bed with a laptop and headset trying to sound professional whilst his wife tries to keep a couple of 10 year olds quiet downstairs, sod that, it's just going to stress you into illness.
After the initial chaos, my workload is way, way down. I can't give into fear that I'm going to be furloughed because I haven't got as much work as I had 6 weeks ago and I'm not pretending I've "flat out" because very few people are.
I cancelled Leave days I was due to take last week, I was actually pretty busy and it wasn't logistically possible to hand it over to anyone else, well unless I wanted to drive around with kit to give to my colleagues which certainly isn't in the spirit of the rules, I can understand why people are, but I found when I did have time off it wasn't a lot better, we were still all stuck in the house and the days were longer.
One of my colleagues posted a PM to the meeting host that he had a family matter to deal with, shagged his wife, then rejoined the meeting.
On the job whilst on the job.
And they say men can't multitask....
Two teenagers, 19 and 16. One is supposed to be doing some college work, the other is actually working from home, but we have to kick him out of bed to get him to log in at 9am (shouldn't have too but he is a nightmare at getting up, and always has been)
Wife currently on a month's 'leave' as company making them take either April or May off, but she's only on a contract until August.
I've just used a week's leave, and have more to take next week. Working from home, currently out in the summer house as Mrs F is busy sewing and turning the house upside down - it's a tip with her crap. Teens doing sweet FA around the house, and it just ends up in arguements if you ask, so they get told tea is ready, and if they don't get it, it is cold.
Just glad mine aren't young, must be a nightmare. Colleagues are trying to juggle it all.
We are very fortunate in the roles we have.
gota 4yr old at home and both of us are doing 2 days on site per week (lab based on secure sites) but outside of that the company is understanding in terms of what gets completed.
very fortunate compared to some sadly