Ok here's the situation, I recently moved into amvery nice little house, sharing with the owner. She's 27, divorced, seemed very nice got a couple of cats and was happy about accomodating my bikes in the house. Her mum was here when I came to view the place. Everything seemed fine. A couple of weeks after I moved in and no problems.
Last weekend she was meant to go out with a friend on Friday. He called off & she ended up going round to her brother's and spending the night there, supposedly drinking with him & his freinds. That is when it all started. It turns out that she has a major problem with alcohol. She is rapidly becoming, if she isn't there already, an alcoholic. Her mum has been round a couple of times since she realised she had been drinking and we have talked. She thought the problem started in the summer (there were various family disaters, divorces, deaths, etc..), but while we were talking tonight she now thinks it may have been gong on for a few years. They thought she was over the problem which arose innthe summer and has bee seeng a counsellor.
Without me knowing and since Monday she had drunk my tequilla, triple sec (I like the ocasional margarita), a third of a bottle of vodka, 3/4 of a bottle of limoncello (40th birthday present from Italy) and nearly 2 bottles of gin (1 of which was sloe gin). I found out about all but the sloe gin last night, tonight I found out that she had been in my room during the day and that was when she took the sloe gin. Thankfully she hasn't touched my whiskey!! Her mum is horrified, and has been incredibly apologetic towards me. As I have pointed out it is not her that should be apologising.
I should point out that although I have/had quite a few bottle of spirits, quite a few of them Are more that 2 years old. I don't drink a lot. A heavy night for me is 2 bottles of beer!!
We have removed all the alchohol from the house, her mum currently has my collection in her car. I am being a reasonable as I can, but as I am sure you can appreciate I am pretty angry and somewhat uneasy about living here!!
Question is, would I be being unreasonable and selfish if I gave my notice and got out asap??
Does she get randy when she drinks?
Seriously, I'd get out. You don't want that shit.
Question is, would I be being unreasonable if I gave my notice and got out asap??
Simple Answer NO
Complex Answer NO
Get out, if it was a good friend then you may have a duty to help but not in this one.
... unless you actually want to invest a lot of time & energy into helping herSeriously, I'd get out. You don't want that shit.
Get out asap, this isn't going to end well.....
And get your booze off her mum too, unless she's been at it.
I was in a relationship with a raving alcoholic and I wished it was as easy as giving notice to get out. Walk away.
Have u got any photos of her?.....
HHHHMMM I have very little morals. Therefore I shall not be answering ur question lol
get out, and until you leave the rent has been paid for in stolen alcohol.
Thank you all, you've confirmed what I was thinking!
And by the way, her mum has said they will replace or pay for what has been taken!
She's 27, divorced, seemed very nice got a couple of cats
TBH this should have been a clue.....
and just to check have you? as this would make it slightly more complicated
I shared a house with a heroine addict once. You can try to help - and talk yourself into thinking you are making a difference - but there's a point where you have to say "sod it" and get out. In my case, it was when she started advertising for "personal massage" and the day the house was "broken into" (while I was sleeping off a night-shift). If her family is involved, they should really be doing a bit more.
I'm truly disappointed in this thread; the correct answer should have been:
1. Wee in her shoes
2. Bombers
3. GTFO 😀
In all seriousness OP you are just looking for somewhere to live, theft and other headaches from substance abuse shouldn't be part of that. So far, she's been drinking your liquor. How long till she moves to stealing money or something else? If I were in your position, I'd get out as soon as I could.
mikewsmith
"She's 27, divorced, seemed very nice got a couple of cats
TBH this should have been a clue.....
and just to check have you? as this would make it slightly more complicated"
I'm not enirely sure what you're suggesting, but if it is what I'm thinking, I'm not that kind of girl!
Get out, if it was a good friend then you may have a duty to help but not in this one.
The comment above seems bit disappointing to me; you might not have a duty to help but it might be nice to try. Goodness knows whats going on in her head but perhaps you're the one person she'll confide in and/or listen to?
Surely you could afford a few days/weeks of talking with her before making the decision to bail out?
I'm not that kind of girl!
[img] 
[/img]
**** her
Surely you could afford a few days/weeks of talking with her before making the decision to bail out?
And a few bottles of spirits
And random amounts of cash
And a laptop
And a mobile phone
And some jewellery
"Surely you could afford a few days/weeks of talking with her before making the decision to bail out?"
No do not try to help her while living in her house i do not have the time to go through all the reasons why that will go wrong but believe me it will.
Thanks for all the advice, I've started the house hunting process again (less than 3 weeks after I moved in).
On the off-chance, is there anybody on here in the North Nottinghamshire area needing a lodger?? I'm house trained & a good cook!! 😀
Hells - Have you thought of taking the 'if you can't beat them,......' approach?
Breakfast?......
[img] 
[/img]
😉
What a bummer. I would also cut and run, you can't be sorting out other people's problems.
...you could always kill her and steal her identity I suppose.
Get out.
Ex-missus was a borderline functioning alcoholic (amongst other issues). Hid it until we were hitched.
It will not end well. You owe this person nothing and may well end up damaged in teh process. If you feel you need to help then you can help from the relative safety of a different abode. Anything well will turn your life toxic.
On the off-chance, is there anybody on here in the North Nottinghamshire area needing a lodger?? I'm house trained & a good cook!!
Bollocks, I'm still halfway through redecorating.
That's OK, I'm quite capable of painting!! 😉
mikewsmith - Member
She's 27, divorced, seemed very nice got a couple of cats
TBH this should have been a clue.....
exactly what i was thinking
, would I be being unreasonable and selfish if I gave my notice and got out asap
NO not even if they were a friend
You live with an alcoholic who invades your privacy and steals from you
If this is what the house share advert said would you give them a call?
I would be tempted to just GTFO without even saying anything tbh
I'm truly disappointed in this thread; the correct answer should have been:1. Wee in her shoes
2. Bombers
3. GTFO
Standards are slipping round here.
[i]
[b]1. Pics[/b]
2. Wee in her shoes
3. Bombers
4. GTFO [/i]
All cat owners have some form of crazy, its an irrefutable FACT!
That's OK, I'm quite capable of painting!!
How are you at hanging doors/tiling? 😉
Never tried tiling, but I am a civil/structural engineer, so I can design you a nice steel bridge!!
Seriously, if you're desperate to get out of where you are, and don't mind living in a building site in Bakersfield, then drop me PM, email is in profile.
Definitely get out.
Her problem is already impacting your life because she can't deal with it herself. It can only get worse...
Run like the wind.
No one can help and Alcoholic who does not want help. Until they reach their own personal rock bottom, they will lie, cheat & steal to get what they want.
Sobriety (The irony of your nickname & this situation is not lost on me),
Many thanks for the offer, it is appreciated! I have a couple of possible places that might be suitable (this is from when I was looking about a month ago). So hopefully I will be able to get things sorted in a few days.
Arrangements are being made for a lock to be put on my bedroom door today/ this evening & I will be dicussng the situation with her mother when get back tonight!
Once you have given your notice I feel it would be the decent thing to at least.....you know.....try.....and.....er
MSP - MemberAll PET owners have some form of crazy, its an irrefutable FACT!
FTFY