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Disclosure: I went down the route of degree and masters in chemical engineering because I was the ‘bright kid’ that didn’t really try and it sort of suited my interests. I chose Chemical Engineering purely because it paid the most out of the eng disciplines (still does!) I was in no way passionate about it before, during or after. It was only doing an industrial year placement during uni that I realised I really wanted to work in the industry I’m still in, 22 years later. I found my uni course pretty uninspiring (though loved the uni experience itself.) I’m in a role where I’ve recruited lots of early career engineers over the last 15 years. Without a doubt if my boys decide they want to go down an engineering route I’d be heartily recommending a modern degree apprenticeships. The kids that come through that route are much more rounded individuals, and at 21 they are about 100x more useful than those straight out of uni. Not that the uni grads don’t get there, but they are several years behind and also saddled with a shed load of debt. (Granted, won’t be the same north of the border.)
As a general point, guide/coach/mentor/inspire but don’t force your daughter into an education or career path she doesn’t want. It will undoubtedly end in mental health challenges. If your wife doesn’t see that she also needs some help.
My wife and I are great examples of don't force it. I went to college because that's what everyone did. I crashed out after a few months. I then worked for 5yrs in a series of dead end jobs before returning to college and then university, the time out definitely focused my mind on what I wanted to do and what I enjoyed.
My wife is even better: she went to independent school and followed what her mother expected and planned a uni course, heading towards her a level exams she knew the uni course she was scheduled to start was the wrong one, so bummed her exams. She went from a straight A student to D/E. She started at a poly on an even more crappy course and scrapped a 2:2. Fast forward 6 yr of shit jobs, she quit, went back to uni for a MSc and then a PHd. She met me as well which I think, the pinnacle.
I guess the lesson both of us have learnt that going to uni isn't necessarily essential straight away. In England, it's one hell of an investment so I think even more important that the course will be of interest and help in the job market. Being a parent and allowing this I think will be tough, and we both know it's going to be hell when our kids reach that age.
We're letting her make her own choice, although it's heavily influenced by boyfriend. At least if she goes to York, we'll stop over for the night in a hotel and make a weekend of it (it's only 90 minute drive anyway).